Can love really conquer all?

Chapter 10

Callen sighed as his eyes involuntarily followed Kensi as she walked alongside Deeks' out of the building. He had just sent the two of them to check out the home of one of their suspects and she hadn't even looked at him. She hadn't met his eyes but he could still see the hurt and the pain swirling around the brown orbs that he loved so much.

And it was all his fault.

He wasn't sure what it was with him. Why he had pulled away but it happened, it had happened before he even realised he was doing it. The first night sincerely hadn't been planned. The op had come up and both he and Sam had ended up sleeping in a hotel out of LA after spending the day running around tailing the lead suspect in their new case.

But he could have called.

He could have text.

And he could have gone home the next night.

Instead he had fed Kensi some lame excuse of being exhausted and like Callen knew he would Sam had offered his partner with his couch. And he had accepted.

And he had never text.

And he had never called.

He wasn't sure why. Why he wasn't going home, why he was ignoring her calls.

He had no idea what was going on….all he knew was he was screwing up…royally. And he knew that it was him that was hurting her; that was killing them.

And then he knew that more than anything he didn't want what he had with Kensi to end.

So why didn't he go home to her, why didn't he call or text?

What was he doing?

"G" Sam's voice startled the agent out of his thoughts and he snapped back to reality only to see the rest of the team watching him curiously,

"Uh…let's head out to the victims house" he said quickly and turned to walk out of the room, escape their concerned looks and worried gazes. But unfortunately for Callen someone else had another idea,

"Actually Mr Hanna I'm sure Mr Beal or Mr Getz can find something for you to do while I speak with Mr Callen for a moment" Sam nodded watching his partner carefully as he stiffened and turned around to refute Hetty's suggestion. However when the small woman raised her hand Callen's mouth shut again and instead the lead agent simply followed her out of the room towards her office.

"Sit Mr. Callen" unlike usual Hetty didn't offer him tea and unlike usual Callen actually knew exactly where the conversation was heading. And it was one he sincerely did not want to have. Then again, better Hetty than Nate. But as she fixed him with a stare that seemed to say she could see straight through him he was prepared to reconsider. After several long moments Hetty shifted in her seat slightly,

"Mr Callen I have overlooked your relationship with Ms Blye since it began" he nodded curtly waiting for her to continue,

"I did so because I knew for a fact that you were, are both professionals. Both exceedingly good at your jobs and I knew that you wouldn't run the risk of facing the consequences that most agents run into when they start a relationship with one of their co workers" Callen's gaze dropped down to the floor as Hetty refocused on him,

"And like I expected, you both lived up to my expectations and continued to work in a professional manner. In fact I dare say it strengthened the team. However," her tone changed,

"It appears that I may have been wrong" she said seriously and finally Callen looked up to her when she didn't continue,

"What do you want me to say Hetty" he asked softly after a moment,

"I don't know Mr Callen. If it were anybody else, any other team. One of you would have been shipped off to another team by now so convince me that I don't need to do the same" Callen stared at her for a moment,

She wouldn't would she?

She wouldn't break up the team?

God, what was he doing?

"No…hetty.." he sighed again trying to find the right words,

"No, I'll fix it. I promise, it was my fault I'll..it's fine. Don't….we're fine" but unfortunately it wasn't that easy. Whenever was it?

"Mr Callen the other reason I overlooked your relationship was because I believed and I still do that both of you deserve the happiness I have seen you give to each other over the last few months. And I don't think that this is something that you would want to throw away" Callen's chest tightened,

"Would I be correct to surmise that this may have something to do with Miss Reynolds, Mr Callen?" Callen looked up sharply. Of course she knew,

"What happened to you Mr Callen was ….a tragedy, nothing you deserved, nothing you could have helped. Do you understand that? There was nothing you could have done" she spoke slowly and deliberately as if to a five year old. But he'd heard it, over and over and over again; from so many people and the words simply washed over him.

"I don't believe that you should deny yourself the opportunity in front of you Mr Callen. It would also be wise to remember that Ms Blye has lost too" when Callen looked up to tell Hetty she was wrong, it was different. He knew Kensi had lost people but it wasn't like that, it wasn't the same. Hetty kept talking however, not giving him the chance to butt in,

"Ms Blye has lost as well. And no it may not have been in an identical circumstance but I do know that she has felt the guilt that, if I am correct, is still consuming you. I know that she has dealt with the guilt that she felt for what happened with her fiancé and then how she felt when you two got involved with each other, in fact I also know that you helped her sort through that" she paused, letting her words sink in,

"Callen, the two of you have been through more than anybody should. You have seen unimaginable things and have lost more in your lives than a person should ever lose. You have that in common. Use it, don't push her away." It was then, after a moment, that Hetty rose to her feet, pushing the chair back,

"I am here if you wish to discuss anything Mr Callen as is Mr Getz and Mr Hanna…perhaps Mr Gibbs could even be of assistance I know you two have spoken about things before and he knows what happened, you should think about it. I know that you understand what you have to lose here but you need to think of how you can both get through this without being hurt and do it soon Mr Callen because she won't wait forever, she's been there before"

And with that Hetty walked from her office leaving Callen to ponder over her words. For several long moments he simply sat…still. He then leant forward and ran his hands over his face,

She's been there before

Callen knew that. He knew that she wouldn't wait for him forever; he knew that she'd been there before. With Jack. Waiting for him to get better. Doing everything she could. He'd seen firsthand at how much that had hurt her, heard it straight from her how it had felt to watch him slowly drift away from her. To have a man come home to her, who wasn't her fiancé but someone else, someone she didn't recognise.

She'd been there before.

Callen wasn't sure how long he sat there. His mind was a mess he didn't know what he was doing and he wasn't sure it Hetty's advice had cleared things up for him or if it had just made him even more confused. After a while though someone cleared their voice behind him and without looking he knew it was his partner.

"Kensi and Deeks are on their way back, they found nothing. Do you want to head out to the victims house?" Sam asked and Callen nodded straight away, standing from the chair,

Work. He needed to work.

"Thanks man" he said knowing that Sam was more offering him a way out, a break, an escape or whatever else it was and the partners made their way out towards the car. Sam took the drivers seat without thinking about it as Callen hopped into the passenger side.

To Sam's credit he didn't bring it up at all instead they drove in silence with the radio on at low volume. It wasn't awkward, it never was. Sam knew his partner well enough to imagine the confusing mess that would be in Callen's head and he knew how much the man would be antagonising himself with it. He knew that all of this was bringing up memories that Callen had locked away at the very back of his mind a long, long time ago.

"You want to have a look in here, while I check around outside?" Callen nodded to his partner as they re-holstered their guns after clearing the house. Callen was more than thankful to his partner who left him to it heading back outside and Callen got to work moving from one room to the next.

He had no idea how it happened?

Absolutely no idea how on earth he didn't hear it?

He'd been leaning over a box, its contents spread on the floor of an upstairs bedroom. His mind a million miles away. With Kensi.

He'd thought of her non stop and was going home. As soon as he was done. He'd head ..well not home, but to Kensi's. He practically lived there anyway. She was home.

He'd answer her questions and tell her the truth, the whole truth. Tell her that he was scared; admit to her that he was petrified of what had happened, of it happening again. Of letting her in only for her to get hurt, or somehow else leave him.

Unfortunately fate had other plans for him. But Callen had never believed in fate. So it was the man who had almost silently made his way up the stairs gun in hand…he had other plans for him. The first shot ripped through Callen's shoulder. It was aimed for his head but at the sound of the trigger the agent had turned so fast his shoulder had blocked the shot. Blood gushed from the wound running down his arm as Callen drew his gun from his jeans while dodging another shot. He heard a struggle from outside and his heart constricted when he heard more shots. At least until he was distracted when another bullet pierced his thigh just above his knee. Three more shots followed.

Callen lay on his back gasping for air. His body was on fire. His vision was blurry. Dark blood soaked his white shirt and pooled around him on the ground. Two more shots had sliced into him. One just below his chest and the other was lodged in his stomach. The man lay bleeding out on the floorboards of the McKinnons home where a murder had taken place not two days before. He struggled to breath, to think. He couldn't clear his head. The pain was…and slowly he began to stop feeling the pain. Slowly he went numb and his eyelids grew heavy and began to close. He briefly thought of Sam, prayed his partner was okay. He didn't hear anything only silence. Until he heard a laugh. A sweet, carefree mischievous laugh that never failed to make him smile; his favourite sound of all. And all he saw was her smiling face in his mind, the last thing before darkness took him over and his body gave in.

Another man lay in the doorway of the bedroom his body lifeless on the ground, his blank eyes, open and glassy, staring vacantly at the ceiling. The gun that had been in his hand lay several feet from his body that had fallen to the ground and hadn't moved since. One shot, straight to the forehead. One shot. To his four.

One other man lay outside, at the back of the house face down on the grass, unmoving. The back of his head red with blood. A shovel not more than a metre away.

The screeching of tires could be heard as nine men in black slammed the door of an already moving van shut that disappeared down the street. They'd only lost one. They'd expected to lose more.

There you have it…..chapter 10.

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