A/N: Hmm, yes I like this chapter. The thing with Anna can seem a little thrown together but this is a bad day so yes.

Okay, so right now I have four more chapters planned where I have an end, maybe I'll add or take away one, I'm not sure yet but we have some more VERY FUN THINGS.

I got so much longing in my eyes

How come you don't realize it?

And as you walk into the night

I just want you to realize it

Kal Lavelle - I Fell in Love With a Friend

He wrote the two finishing sentences which he'd had in his mind for some time now and then he just sat there, staring at the word document that now filled too many pages for Castiel to actually comprehend its size. He just stared at the computer screen as if it now would blow up or start to dance. Castiel were so tired but he felt some weird ecstasy he wished he could share with someone and maybe scream for a bit, jump around and dance even if he didn't know how to dance at all, not even the slightest.

Even if he felt so happy for finally finishing the book (when had he changed the 'story' in his head to 'book'?) he felt kind of empty because what would he do now with all this time? Sure, he'd probably read it through plenty of times and correct every weirdly put sentence or ill fitting word but still he managed to feel alone in his small apartment when he actually should be feeing extremely happy, which he did but he still couldn't comprehend that it was actually finished.

For a moment he felt like calling Anna but then he looked at the clock on his wall and it told him that he shouldn't call her, not at two o'clock in the middle of the night. He knew he should be going to bed (he didn't have any classes next day but he had to work) but he felt restless and still kind of ecstatic; which were weird in a weird mixture with sadness and loneliness, but instead of going to bed he went to the kitchen to refill his coffee cup after thinking about if it were a good idea to drink caffeine when he should be sleeping. He then walked back to his desk to put on some silent music as he clicked the save button on the document at least five times; he had to be certain it would save and then after doing that he mailed it to himself, just to be sure it would not in fact just go away or drift away into oblivion just like his father had managed to do.

'Oh, shut my eyes,
Lose myself in teenage lies,
If I fell in love a thousand times,
Would it all make sense?'

Dean came into the shop the next day, making the day slightly better because Castiel had only gotten four hours of sleep and felt like a zombie (even if he were somewhat happy). Dean walked up to Castiel, smiling at Castiel's expression.

"Roughday?"

Castiel had already started making Dean his usual coffee and nodded as a response.

"I only slept four hours because I finished the story and then I just couldn't sleep."

When Castiel turned around to hand Dean the hot drink he saw that Dean's eyes had grown big.

"Really? You finished it? That's awesome, man! Congratulations! How're you gonna celebrate?"

Castiel didn't really understand the need to 'celebrate' because of this thing. He'd simply finished the book, like he'd always intended. Actually, he kind of felt empty after finishing it so he wouldn't celebrate. But what made him the most conflicted with the question were the fact that he'd actually not thought about it before. After all, who'd he celebrate with?

A talking Dean made him return to reality and he could feel a slight frown on his face which he tried to make disappear.

"Dude, snap out of it. Don't tell me you're not gonna celebrate."

"No, no, that is not happening, Cas." Dean said when Castiel didn't really answer with anything but a look at the ground.

Castiel looked into Dean's far too green eyes and made his best not to drown.

"Okay, so what will I do, then?"

Dean looked right back into Castiel's eyes and as usually his heart started doing weird things at the meeting of their eyes. Castiel couldn't help but feeling thankful that no other customers were walking into the store at this time because he didn't feel like breaking the stare.

"Well, we'll do like this. You bring someone close to you, your sister or brother or something and to The Garrison tomorrow night. Deal?"

Castiel just nodded at that, stunned for a second and he had never been to The Garrison, the restaurant where Dean worked at, and the fact that Dean now had invited him there made him feel extra good even if Dean would be in the kitchen.

"Good, now hand me that coffee, I really have to rush. See you tomorrow night then? Come by at seven, okay?"

He gave Dean the coffee after only being able to say a simple okay and then watching Dean leave but remembering some manners when Dean were in the door.

"Dean, thank you!"

Dean chuckled but didn't say anything, just walking out of the coffee shop, leaving and then the only thing left of Dean inside were thoughts and memories in Castiel's brain.

At first when Castiel had asked Anna, trying to be as casual as ever (who were he trying to kidding, he sucked at the whole 'casual' thing) Anna had looked at him suspiciously and remarked that he had been spending an awful lot of time with Dean and Castiel had just very quietly said yes.

Of course, she had agreed to the plans and now they were sitting at the table booked in the name "Castiel Novak". The table were inside the restaurant by the window so they could look outside and se the cars and the people rush by in a splash of colours.

No menus came to the table and the waiter told them that Dean ('Winchester' as she said) had told her not to give them menus and that they were getting 'The Chef's Special'.

Castiel felt happy even if he had no clue what he'd get and Anna were talking about her work and Castiel did find it interesting.

"So Cassy, enough about me. We're here about that book of yours, which you must try to get published, but... Dean. Gabriel told me you used to have a huge crush on that guy and I see the look in your eyes when I say his name. Castiel, are you in love with this guy?"

He felt his cheeks turn red and suddenly he didn't feel as happy. His eyes were locked on the table but he took one big breath to look Anna in the eyes and tell her she were wrong but when he met her caring eyes he felt something snap in his brain and he couldn't help it but he just whispered a very quiet yes even if that were the exact opposite of what he wanted to say. That were the moment he realised he were in love and he damned himself for ever letting it go this far. He were still looking into Anna's eyes but now he wasn't really looking anymore, just that he were inside his head and his eyes happened to be on Anna's.

"But Castiel... Don't you want him to know?"

He were back in the real world and oh how he wished it didn't exist in the exact now. His head lay itself in his cold hands.

"Sometimes I want him to notice it, but.. But I don't think he likes me that way."

His voice that already were a whisper somehow managed to grow even lower to the end and he wasn't sure if Anna had heard him. The sudden sorrow he felt on what was supposed to be a happy, celebrating night didn't felt good and it had already started to take a tight grip on his mind.

"Castiel, you won't get anywhere if you hide away, you know that."

Anna's voice were soft and caring yet somehow it hurt very badly. He knew all that and hearing it from someone else just highlighted his imperfection and struggle and made seem more real.

And in that moment Dean himself had to come out, happy and with two plates of food and Castiel felt like running, hiding and maybe get hit by a bus but instead he made himself look up and smile brightly at Dean who looked so incredibly light and happy himself. Dean congratulated Castiel once more before wishing them an enjoyable meal and excusing himself when someone from the kitchen called on him.

When he left Castiel fell together again, now with a red face and tired mind. Anna looked as if she felt bad for bringing Castiel down on his day and soon she started talking again, now about a book she'd just finished, a book that Castiel had recommended. Thankfully, Castiel kept the conversation going even if he just said some small things.

After finishing the food (chicken in some rich sauce served with small potatoes) which were incredible they asked for the check but the waiter just smiled at them and said that it were already paid and Castiel felt embarrassed but happy because Dean had actually given this to him. Mostly he felt tired and in need of sleep that never made him wake up again.

He hadn't seen Dean since that day and it'd been three days. Yes, he had been avoiding him, he just felt like he couldn't look into those green, green eyes without dying a bit inside. He felt so stupid for being so weak and he hated it deeply. He wanted to hate Dean, but he couldn't, he were so nice to him so Castiel had decided to keep the friendship going if he could but still he didn't feel ready to look Dean into the eyes and smile and act as if nothing had changed because it had. He knew he should be able to, really, it were all very stupid of him and he were so angry, so angry at himself for all this extra trouble it caused him.

As usually when he were angry he tried to let the music take over him but today he just spoke to the music, angry at everything.

'The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do'

The world were still on fire and nobody were there to save him. It were so strange what people would do and still he were the foolish one, thinking and wanting. Desire, huh.

'No I don't wanna fall in love

This world will break your heart

Nobody's falling in love'

That he knew of but he already were in love, after all this denying he knew it and he hated it. The world were breaking his heart already because it were determined to.. fall for someone he couldn't have.

'What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you'

The lyrics were wrong, it wasn't Dean's fault, it were strictly his own but he wanted to blame it all on Dean but he knew he were weak himself so yes, it were all his fault.

The lyrics then just repeated itself and Castiel kept thinking about the lyrics and how wrong they were until the song changed and another song started playing, soothing his brain.

Why had he went to work today? He could se Dean coming through the door and it freaked him out more than it should've had if it were a normal day. He tried his best to look occupied and oh-I-did-not-see-you-there but he wasn't sure if it'd worked when Dean came to him with a frown.

"Cas, where'ya been?"

He swallowed hard and made his eyes turn to Dean's eyes but they didn't get sucked into them very badly and he were still standing so it were all pretty okay and he felt that he gathered some new courage.

"I've been... busy."

Dean just nodded but still the frown wasn't gone.

"Thanks for the dinner, Dean, it were... nice, very nice." Castiel bent down under the counter and picked up his bag to search for some money that he'd left in it. He took up the bag on the counter seeing as no new costumers were coming in.

"How much were it?"

First Dean just looked at him as if he didn't understand anything but then he put his hands in the air.

"No, Cas, it was on me. Don't you dare pay anything."

So now he stood there, looking stupid with his bag in one hand and a blush rising. He didn't want Dean to pay for his meal, he were capable of it himself (even if it would burn a little in his budget) but when he said that Dean just said a plain no again.

"But, you owe me one, okay?"

That Castiel could kind of accept that so he just nodded and handed Dean his coffee he'd made when he saw him in the door.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

Dean left with a wave and a smile while Castiel sighed because he'd made it. He felt good, this would work, why had he ever thought that this would be hard? He wasn't feeling any of those weird feelings anymore and he wanted to laugh out of happiness but he didn't because even if the coffee shop usually had few costumers there were still a couple of people and he didn't want to freak out the few costumers they had.

That night he found himself singing some lines from the song he'd heard yesterday. He didn't always sing to himself, only when he were happy.

'Overjoyed, over you. Overnight, that's what you do.'

A/N: SONGS USED IN THIS CHAPTER:

I Fell in Love With a Friend - Kal Lavelle
Sense - Tom Odell
Wicked Game - Philip Phillips (Okay so this song isn't originally done by Philip Phillips but I like his version and that's the one I were listening to so yeah)
Lock Me Up - The Cab

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