AN ANGEL IS MY HERO
DECIDE WHO YOU WANT TO BE - CHAPTER 10
BEN
The summer holidays were here very fast. Ben was trying to be more time at the orphanage with Katie than with Hermione but the younger girl was making it clear that having Ben there was the last thing she wanted. She avoided him as much as she could, which was always. After almost a month Ben gave up and started giving Katie the space she wanted. Not being able to help her gave him a new resolve to help whoever he could and would let him. He didn't know how, but he knew there was something inside him that made it possible, he just needed to really want something bad to happen and it would.
Whenever he saw someone being mistreated he would just hate the person with all his being and what he still called karma would make sure justice was made. Hermione had figured out what was happening and did not approve, that had made them a little estranged. She would huff every time Ben did something she didn't approve and stop talking to him for days at a time. This made him even angrier whenever he saw an injustice and started hating people that did simple things he didn't approve like yell, look at someone the wrong way, etc.
While he was walking with Hermione back from the corner store towards her house, he saw a little boy searching through a dumpster, his clothes looked worn out, his hair looked dirty and his eyes looked sad. Before Ben could even say anything a policeman approached the boy and pulled him out of the dumpster roughly and starting yelling at the boy which made the little guy cry. Hermione was outraged and started screaming at the policemen and hug the little boy; that only made the policeman yell at her too. Ben started concentrating on hating him until he felt that feeling he called karma and let it out, the policeman was thrown into a car and people approached to help him. He wasn't badly hurt but made him forget about Hermione and the little boy.
Hermione looked torn between feeling grateful to Ben and being angry at the way he had helped. She was sure that whatever had happened Ben had made it happened since she had seen it several times before. Anger won. Hermione gave the boy the bread she had bought and then turned to Ben, she didn't have to say a thing, the way he looked at him said everything. Ben was a little scared of the girl when she got like that, she had the gift for making people feel very bad about themselves. He was sure he was doing the right thing, that man didn't have the right to yell at his friend nor the little guy, but that look made him question himself for a couple of seconds, only after Hermione turned around and walked away did he remembered he should feel proud and got mad back at the girl. Her walked the other way towards the orphanage. He shouldn't have, he wasn't allowed to be alone at the city but he didn't think about that.
On the way he saw a little girl take a toy from a baby and wished a bee to sting her, he saw a father reprimanding a son and wished for a bird to poop on him. Several other things bothered him on the way and he dealt with every single one of them. It was becoming easier for him to control karma and he felt empowered. No one could ever do anything to him and he would make sure that the ones that weren't able to help themselves wouldn't be mistreated either, he would fight their fights.
Ben finally reached the orphanage and knocked on the door when he tried to open it and failed. Lidya was the one that let him in and was scared about him getting there by himself. He got a sermon from her for doing something he knew was wrong and dangerous. He just wasn't in the mood, he got angry and let karma out. Lidya started scratching all over and forgot about Ben, apparently karma had made her itchy.
Ben left her there and walked towards his room, on the way he bumped into Katie, that made him calm down immediately.
"Katie" he whispered and smiled lightly.
The girl looked at him and kept walking, that made him angry and confused.
"What?!" he yelled angrily at her.
She halted and turned towards him.
"Why are you so mad at me?" Ben asked sadly.
"I am not mad at you" Katie answered without emotion.
"Yes, you are" Ben answered and Katie shrugged.
"Why?" Ben asked again.
"I am not mad at you" Katie stated once more and walked away.
Ben reached his room, slammed the door behind him and waited for Lily and James to appear.
"Katie doesn't like me, Hermione doesn't like me, Paulinne and Josh doesn't like me" He started ranting "Well, I don't like them!"
The chair in his room started catching fire, it scared him and the fire immediately disappeared. He looked at it again and the fire reappeared he stopped his focus and the fire disappeared, he did this several times until he understood it was him. He smiled and started letting other things in the room catching fire; the bed, the chair, the wardrobe, his toys. The fire came and left, the things were left unscathed. Ben forgot about dinner and kept playing with this new thing that he still thought as karma until he was so tired he fell asleep on the floor.
KATIE
Katie was walking towards the yard when she bumped into Ben.
"Katie" Ben whispered and smiled lightly.
The girl looked at him, decided to ignore him and kept walking.
"What?!" he yelled angrily at her.
She halted and turned towards him.
"Why are you so mad at me?" Ben asked sadly.
"I am not mad at you" Katie answered without emotion.
"Yes, you are" Ben answered and Katie shrugged.
"Why?" Ben asked again.
"I am not mad at you" Katie stated once more and walked away.
It was true, she wasn't mad at Ben, he hadn't done anything to her, but she still didn't want him near her. She was now 100% sure that Lidya had never adopted her because of Joshua, she was sure her mother had gave her up because of his father. Men were evil, they all were the same; Ben was not evil because he was not a man, but he will become one. He made her feel uncomfortable and angry at what he would be become in a few years. She avoided Josh and Ben equally, just like everyone else. She had stopped talking to Paulinne since she was never alone and had become very close to the girls her age that lived there. They hated the boys as well, not for the same reasons as her, but they thought boys were silly and stupid.
She reached the yard and found the girls whispering, but acknowledge her happily.
"Hey Katie!" one of them greeted.
"Hi, why are you whispering?" She asked curiously.
"Theo was being mean today to Helen but Mrs Lovegood saw and Theo is now in the time out room" they explained quickly.
"It figures, he is a boy" Katie said angrily.
"I know! Boys are mean" one of them agreed and quickly the other followed.
"Lets promise that we will never let a boy be mean to any of us" She said very seriously, the others promised.
Katie was taking this more seriously than the other girls, but she promised herself that one day they would take it as seriously as her.
The girls quickly forgot about Theo and started playing tag between them, Katie played with them but wasn't into it. She didn't like to play any more, it felt weird, as if she wasn't allowed.
Lily looked at her sadly. "You are letting to much hate into your heart baby girl"
"I do not hate anyone" Katie said stubbornly.
"The way you talk about the boys you live with is with hate" Lily said tenderly.
"I don't hate them, I am just helping myself and the other girls" Katie answered.
"Helping?" Lily asked.
"Yes, they will never get hurt" Katie stated.
Lily hugged the girl and a single tear ran down her cheek "What happened to you was horrible and unfair, you didn't deserve that, but you can't blame every one for that. There is only one to blame and he is already being punished. Not every boy you meet will be like that, there are bad people but there are good ones too. Don't push the good ones away because you are afraid of the bad ones"
"How do you know which ones are good and which ones are bad?"
"Follow your heart and your instincts, give people a chance" Lily said with a sincere smile.
"I did" Katie stated with venom in her voice "I won't do it again"
Lily's smile vanished.
"I would love to help you, if I could I would make that man pay" Prongs said icely.
Katie looked at him angrily "You are as bad as him" Prongs looked confused and hurt.
"He wants to help you, he just doesn't know how to do it" Lily said while looking at Prongs angrily.
"He is bad as well, he doesn't care about hurting others. He just said it" Katie yelled.
"No baby girl, not all of them are bad" Lily tried again.
Katie got herself out of Lily's embrace and didn't answer.
"Never let hate take over, the world and life is beautiful. I want you to be happy" Lily said.
"We will always be here for you, and I will keep my distance until you need me ok?" Prongs said sadly.
"Go" Katie said and Prongs disappeared.
"Do you want me to go?" Lily asked.
"No" Katie answered.
Lily sat down on the sofa "Do you want to tell me something?"
"No" Katie stated; she lay on the sofa in front of Lily and fell asleep.
HERMIONE
Hermione was walking back from the corner store towards her house with Ben when they saw a little boy searching through a dumpster, his clothes looked worn out, his hair looked dirty and his eyes looked sad.
A policeman approached the boy and pulled him out of the dumpster roughly and started yelling at the boy which made the little guy cry.
"Stop it, he is a little boy!" Hermione was outraged and started screaming at the policeman, she hugged the little boy and could feel him tremble; that only made the policeman yell at her too.
The policeman was thrown into a car and people approached to help him. He wasn't badly hurt but made him forget about her and the little boy.
Hermione was torn between feeling grateful to Ben and being angry at the way he had helped. She was sure that whatever had happened Ben had made it happened since she had seen it several times before.
Anger won.
Hermione gave the boy the bread she had bought and then turned to Ben, she didn't have to say a thing, the way she looked at him said everything.
She could see Ben felt ashamed of what he had done but he always felt ashamed when she got mad and still kept acting that way. She was tired of it, how could he not know it was the wrong thing to do? The goal didn't justify the means. Hermione turned around and walked away, Ben didn't follow but she didn't realized it until she reached her house.
"Where is the bread?" Her mother asked when she walked in "Where is Ben?"
"Mrs. Alec picked him up" it was the first thing that came to her mind, she was angry at Ben for making her lie to her mother and worried about him. She was sure he had opted to go home, she just hoped he got home without any trouble.
"And you walked back by yourself?" Her mother asked between angry and worried.
"No, she brought me here but she was in a hurry" Hermione answered quickly. She hadn't realized the danger she could have been by walking by her self, hadn't she learned with what happened to Katie? True, she didn't know she was walking by herself, but still!
At least she had helped her mother feel better about every thing; she knew her mother would never even imagine Hermione could ever lie to her. She now felt like the worst daughter in the world. She had to make it up to her mother. She had to.
"Why don't we do something tomorrow?" Hermione asked.
"What do you mean?" Her mother asked curiously.
"Something just you and me" Hermione said.
"You are making plans without me?" Her father had walked into the room, Hermione now felt awful.
"I am just joking Hermione, I think a girls day is a perfect idea" Her father said quickly with a genuine smile.
It did make Hermione feel better but still not entirely.
"I think a day with my daughter is a perfect day" Her mother said with a huge smile.
Hermione hugged her and promised herself never to lie to her again. Not ever.
"Where is the bread?" Her mother asked again.
"There was a boy that looked hungry" Hermione whispered, her mother's smile grew even more.
"I don't think your father will mind not having bread for dinner" Her mother stated.
"You are the most beautiful girl inside and out" Her father told her very proudly "After your mother of course" he laughed.
"Go get ready for dinner" Her mother said and Hermione hurried upstairs.
She was about to wash her hands when she saw the book Luna had given her, she had already finished it, but for some reason started it again. She found it fascinating. It was about a baby who had saved a whole secret world filled with magic and about all the people that loved that baby. It was a beautiful and tragic story. Like in every story there were the bad guys as well, and in this story they had lost just like in every one she had read before, with the difference that the hero has lost too. She wished there was more to the story than what was in the book. She wanted to know what had happened to the baby, if he had had a happy life. He must have, he was the hero. The heroes always lived happily ever after. Maybe this book was a part of a series and this was only the first one, she needed to find the next book. She would look for it the next time she went to the store.
She often dreamed that she was a witch and that she lived in this world, that she went to this wonderful school called Hogwarts where you could find friendly ghost and talking paintings, with secret tunnels and a mysterious forest around it. She had told her parents the story and they had even read it too, they didn't find it as fascinating as her but they said it was a different and full fantasy story. She secretly was waiting for her eleventh birthday to come to see if an owl would appear with an acceptance letter, just like in the book. She didn't have to wait too much, just a couple of months. She will maybe be in a new world in a year, how wonderful would that be?
"Hermione!" her mother was calling from downstairs.
"Coming!" she yelled back. She ran to wash her hands quickly and back to her parents.
It was a beautiful family dinner, her father told them about work just like her mother. She told them about the book again, and how she figured there must be a second one. Her mother promised they could go look for it the next day. They planned what they would do, of course go to the bookstore, have a picnic in the park, go shopping and have a spa day.
She couldn't wait. She was very excited; she forgot all about what had happened with Ben.
LUNA
"It must be a very fun plan" her father said excidetly.
"It is not a plan" Luna said.
"I thought you wanted to go visit your grandmother often, but you haven't wanted to go again" her father said knowingly.
"It is not time yet. The jiggles are too strong right now on Harry, he needs to let them go first" Luna stated sadly.
"The ones that have the jiggles sometimes need help to let them go" her father took her hands.
"Not him, he is very strong. He can do it by himself" Luna stated.
"Why not help even if he can be strong enough?" her father asked her "Everyone needs to know there are people there who will always be there to help even when they don't ask. That is what friends are for"
"He needs to know he is strong enough" Luna said.
"Luna" her father started "There are other ways to find your strength, being left alone, without information and expecting him to figure everything out is not the right way. That harms the ones we love. I know you are not really friends, not yet. But you and I know you will be and because you know that you already love him, so you should already care. Don't treat him like a piece of chess"
Luna had never heard her father talk like that. He was always fun, never serious.
"But the jiggles…" she started.
"No one has ever said that you cant help another get rid of the jiggles. If he can be strong enough to get rid of them himself, imagine how strong and how quickly together you can get rid of them?" he smiled.
"We should go visit my grandmother"
"We should" her father agreed.
"How can I help him? Have you ever gotten the jiggles?" Luna asked.
"No, but we can investigate" Her father said excitedly and ran towards the Quibbler room. That was were all the copies of the Quibbler magazines ever printed where, and they had all the information they could need.
That is what they did the rest of the day, read everything they could find about the jiggles.
"I have never seen them personally, but what everyone who has had them say they look like little stars, little balls of light that follow you everywhere. They can either be good or bad, no one knows how to differentiate them or why some are good or bad, or why they choose you. But what we do know is that they will only leave when you are strong enough to say no to what they ask you to do" Her father read out loud.
"Here is an interview from someone that had the jiggles: They never talk to you but somehow you learn to understand them, to know that they are the ones that are making every day decision for you, they start controlling you until you let them. When I found out I had the jiggles it was too late, I had already hurt the ones I loved, I had the misfortune of getting the bad jiggles. It was very difficult but I got rid of them eventually" Luna read "It doesn't say how she got rid of them though.
"Keep looking" her father said eagerly "I helped a lot of people before I found out I had the jiggles, but as soon as I found out they disappeared. I tried everything to get them back but up 'til today I haven't been successful"
"She got rid of them without even wanting to" Luna said confused.
"Maybe the good ones leave as soon as you figure them out, the bad ones are the ones we should be worried about. Do you know which one Harry has?"
"I am not sure, but I don't think is the good ones" Luna said sadly.
"What do you know?" Her father asked seriously.
"I don't actually know anything, I just feel" Luna said.
"That is exactly what you mother used to say. She couldn't explain it, she just always knew everything and was never one wrong. I am so glad and proud you are just like her" He said smiling, Luna smiled back.
"Does your mother know what jiggles are?" Luna asked.
"No, I learned that and everything else from your mother. My mother decided she could do more for the muggle world than for ours" he said without any anger in his voice, Luna could actually even be sure that his father was proud of his mother.
"We could go tomorrow to the muggle world" Luna suggested.
"I think that is a marvelous idea" he agreed.
They kept reading through the Quibblers and learned a lot about the jiggles, especially from the ones that had been edited by Luna's mother, her father had admitted that he had rarely heard about them. They had learned how they work, how good or bad they could be, and how they looked like or how to know if you had them. But they could find how to get rid of them when the ones you had where the bad ones, and not even one story where anyone had had help from someone else. Some had even died without ever getting rid of them.
Maybe she didn't know how to help, but she had decided that she would be right there figuring it out with Harry; like her father said: it wasn't fair to let him fight a war alone when he didn't even know he was fighting one and expecting him to win.
When has there ever been heard about someone fighting a war by themselves? Even the muggles sent thousands of soldiers to wars (she had read about it in a Quibbler that her mother had published about everything in the muggle world), why did she expect Harry to fight it by himself. Did she have the jiggles as well? No, that wasn't it. She knew that Albus Dumbledore expected him to fight that war by himself and learn by himself and she had believed it was the best way to do it, he was Albus Dumbledore after all. Like her father said, sometimes knowing too much is what makes us do things the wrong way, she needed to start following her feelings and not what she knew what was going to happen. If she knew what was going to happen, who said she couldn't change it? Who would know besides her?