The third years' timetables were noticeably fuller this year owing to the fact that they had to choose a minimum of two additional subjects to study. While most of the more sensible students had chosen subjects based on a rough idea of possible career paths they would like to take, the twins, and by extension Lee, had chosen Muggle Studies and Divination due to the fact that they were believed to be the easier ones to pass.

"Now class," said Professor Burbage. She began passing out parchments to the students, "here are your essays from last week, and while on the whole the standard of the work was high I have to regretfully inform some of you that Muggles do not use washing machines to bathe in."

"Are you one hundred percent sure on that?" asked Fred frowning at his parchment which contained a lot more red ink then he thought was appropriate.

"Yes, I am very sure of that," replied Burbage kindly.

"Even though I've drawn a picture to show it is possible," said Fred holding up his homework.

"While many of your suggestions on what items can be found in a Muggle home were technically possible," Burbage responded diplomatically, "for that picture to be accurate the washing machine would have to be as tall as the room."

"But if it was as tall as the room could a Muggle use it to take a bath in?" asked Fred.

"Yes."

"Excellent," beamed Fred offering his parchment up for a corrected mark.

"Although the Muggle would probably die," finished Burbage. There was an awkward pause.

"But that's still a yes, right?" asked Fred breaking the silence, his parchment still being held out.

"Fine," sighed Burbage taking the parchment from him and waving her wand at it to change the mark, "congratulations, although you still failed."

"I don't know," said Fred examining his work, "give me a few more minutes and I could probably argue a few extra marks."

"While Mister Weasley fights the inevitable, I'll draw the attention of the rest of you to the front of the class," Burbage pointed her wand at the windows, making the shutters close before flipping a switch on an ancient looking projector that whirled into life in a fit of clicking.

"We'll be moving away from household items for the time being," explained Burbage as a white light formed on a screen at the head of the room, "and moving onto different forms of transport that Muggles use. Can anyone tell me what this is?"

Professor Burbage tapped the projector with her wand and with a click the white light was replaced by a picture of a car. Several hands in the class went up. She nodded towards George.

"It's a car," he answered confidently, seeing as his father owned one this wasn't to be unexpected that he'd get it right.

"Well done," smiled Burbage, "one point to Gryffindor, from talking to the other teachers I believe that puts your total so far this year to minus fourteen."

"Actually it's minus nineteen," corrected George unashamedly, "we had double Potions this morning."

"Ah," nodded Burbage tapping the projector once again, "and what about this one?"

This time fewer hands went up.

"Yes, Mr Wigglemore?"

"It's an aeroplant," said a Hufflepuff student confidently.

"Close but it's plane, aeroplane," explained Burbage tapping the projector again. An image of a helicopter appeared in view, "and this one."

"Ooo I know this one," said Fred raising his hand. While there were a number of other hands up, Burbage noted that his was the only one that belonged to someone from a purely wizarding background. She nodded in Fred's direction, "it's a Whirly-Bird Thing."

"Er…no, it's a called a Helicopter," corrected Burbage, as there was a faint rippling of giggles from the class.

"That's what dad always called them," Fred complained under his breath as Lee nudged him with his elbow.

The lesson continued with the class copying notes from the board about different types of transport that the average muggle would use in their day to day life. Although they were only taking the subject for the first time in their third year, the twins, along with most others who took the class found that it was actually quite enjoyable due to the relaxed nature in which it was taught.

While most people who didn't take the class thought it might be extremely boring since there were no spells to learn, no charms to conjure, and no potions to master, there was one additional thing missing that definitely made up for it; no Slytherin students. It was something that the whole class had noted upon on their first day, although since Burbage never said anything about it none of the students decided to bring up the matter. Well, none of the polite ones did anyway.

"So what's the story with no Slytherin students?" asked George once he'd finished copying the notes down.

"Salazar Slytherin was well know for his love of pure-bloods," explained Burbage as the rest of the class listened intently whilst trying to appear to be concentrating on copying the information on the board, "and needless to say most of those that are put into Slytherin buy into that pure-blood nonsense that very few, if any, ever decide that Muggle society is worth even acknowledging let alone knowing about. If fact in all my time teaching here, I don't think I have ever had a single Slytherin student."

"You aren't missing much," said George grinning cheekily.

"Yes, well, I can't really comment on that myself," said Burbage the corner of her mouth creasing slightly upward before she managed to rein it back under her control.

The class continued to copy the notes until it soon became apparent that everyone had finished, and were either patiently sitting still, talking quietly to their neighbour or, in the case of the twins, taking it in turns to flick each other behind the ear while the other wasn't looking.

"Excellent," Burbage said once she was happy that the notes had been copied. She broke into a smile and walked to the side of the room where a store cupboard was located, "now I have a little treat for you all. I've managed to get my hands on a few modes of transport used by muggles for you to try out."

"We're going to drive cars?" asked one excited student as everyone looked at each other.

"Don't be such a twonk Merrick," said George rolling his eyes, "you could never get a car inside that store cupboard; now one of them motorbikes, that would definitely fit."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you two," said Burbage using her wand to float two large boxes back into the room, "but we don't cover the practical aspect of cars or motorbikes in this class. However, we are going to be trying out these."

Burbage had opened both boxes and lifted up two strange looking objects. In her left hand she held a pair of odd looking boots and in her right hand she held a wooden board. Both the boots and the board had four wheels attached to each of them.

"These," said Burbage jingling the boots in her left hand, "are called roller-skates and this is a skateboard. Most muggle children have used one or the other at some point."

"Trust muggles to take something simple like a shoe and make it weird," said Lee examining one of the roller-skates that Burbage had just put down in front of him as she handed out the items.

"A shoe? What about this thing? " asked Fred holding up his skateboard and shaking his head, "they went and slapped some wheels on a piece of wood."

"Now can I ask everyone to please help push the desks to the side of the room to give you a little space? No one is to start using the roller-skates or skateboards until I have handed out the appropriate safety equipment."

****

"It's broken," complained Lee holding a bloody hanky to his nose.

"It's not broken," countered Fred walking along side him.

"It's my nose," replied Lee wincing slightly, "I know if it's broken or not and I'm telling you it's broken."

"Your nose?" asked George walking next to them cradling his left arm, "what about my arm?"

"What about your arm?" snapped Lee, "it's your fault my nose is like this."

"How do you figured that?"

"Lets see," said Lee sarcastically, "if you hadn't grabbed by arm when you were falling over, then you wouldn't have pulled me down, and I wouldn't have smacked my nose on the ground."

"I didn't grab you on purpose," argued George, "it was just instinct. Anyway it was all really Fred's fault."

"Er… how exactly?" retorted Fred, the only one of the trio to be unharmed.

"Burbage told us not to start using those things until she'd given out the safety equipment," explained George as they approached the Infirmary doors, "and before she did, you started whizzing around the room like an idiot."

"And how is me whizzing around like an idiot have anything to do with you falling over?"

"Because if you hadn't done it then I wouldn't have tried mine out without the safety equipment either, and then I wouldn't have fallen over and I wouldn't have pulled Lee down with me."

"So that's my fault is it?" argued Fred pushing the door open and holding it for the other two, "if I jumped off our broom shed would you copy me?"

"I did," countered George, "remember? I landed on top of you and skinned my knee."

"Oh yeah," said Fred letting the door swing shut behind them, "I forgot about that, oh well I guess it must be my fault. Sorry guys."

"What happened now?" asked Madame Pomfrey looking up from her desk.

"Oh, well Lee here thinks he has a broken nose and George, sorry George," Fred apologised for slapping his brother on his injured arm, "has done something to his arm. And apparently it's my entire fault."

"Were you fighting?" asked Pomfrey disapprovingly.

"No. Well actually we were, but that was only about whose fault it was," explained Fred; the look of confusion on the school's nurse's face was enough to convince him to clarify the story. "It happened in our Muggles Studies lesson."

"That Charity Burbage," Pomfrey clucked reproachfully, "she's always messing around with some muggle invention, what was it this time? Sporkscrews? Chainclaws? She's not still trying to get something electic to work is she?" asked the woman, carefully trying to pronounce the unfamiliar muggle words.

"Skateboard actually," said George as Pomfrey undid the sleeve on his shirt and rolled it up.

"I should have known," said Pomfrey examining his arm, "every year I get a constant flow of students through here thanks to that lesson, only Care of Magical Creatures and Quidditch account for more injuries."

"Wow, if I'd known that…" Fred looked thoughtful for a moment, "I'd probably still have signed up for it."

"Typical boys," muttered Pomfrey applying some ointment to a cloth and wrapping it around George's arm. "It's not broken, probably badly sprained; this should take the sting out of it somewhat. Now lets look at your nose. Ah yes, definitely broken."

"Ha!" beamed Lee, looking across at George "told you so. Ow."

"Well if you do insist on moving around," counselled Pomfrey, she took her wand out and pointed at his face, "now keep still."

"Ahh that's better," said Lee prodding the end of his nose with a finger once it had been fixed.

"Here," said Pomfrey handing him a cloth, and pointing him towards a basin with a mirror above it, "go and clean that blood off your face."

"It'll take more then a damn cloth to improve that face," grinned Fred, causing Lee to flash him a look of annoyance. Pomfrey frowned as she tried to spot exactly what was wrong with him. She began by examining his head, pushing his hair out of the way to see if there were any cuts on his scalp. Once it became clear that his skull was okay, she moved onto other parts of his body until she eventual gave up with a snort of frustration.

"Okay," Pomfrey frowned with her hands on her hips, "what's wrong with you?"

"Oh nothing," admitted Fred cheerfully, "Professor Burbage said someone should help these two down to the Hospital Wing. I volunteered."

"You could have told me sooner," complained Pomfrey shaking her head. She turned to look at George, "keep that cloth on over your arm for the next hour or so and it should be right as rain. As for you Mr Jordan, aside from a little tenderness you should be just fine. Back off to class the both of you."

"How come he's completely fine and I have to have this on for an hour?" wondered George as the three boys left the Hospital Wing.

"You'd rather you had a broken arm?" asked Lee prodding his nose gingerly with his finger.

"No," admitted George shrugging, "I'm just saying it just seems a bit unfair if you ask me."

"Unfair? It was your fault, remember?" complained Lee.

"I thought we established it was Fred's fault."

"Shh," said Lee holding his hand up just as Fred was about to counter with a witty retort that involved the words 'up' and 'shut' arranged in a suitable order.

Up ahead they could hear the unmistakeable muttering of Filch. Not wanting to have to explain why they were out of class, the three boys decided it would be easier to hide in one of the side alcoves until the caretaker had gone.

They pressed their backs against the wall as Filch appeared at the end of the corridor; George poked his head out slightly to see if he would proceed down the hallway.

"Is he coming?" whispered Lee.

"No," advised George causing the other two to let out a relieved sigh, "he just carried on across the corridor, must be going done to his office. There was something slightly worrying though."

"What?"

"He seemed happy."

"Happy?" frowned Lee, "he's only happy when he has just put someone into detention, or when he is about to put someone into detention, or when he is supervising detention… he really likes detention doesn't he?"

"Yeah, I heard he once applied for a job as a guard in Azkaban but they decided to stick with the Dementors as they were more humane."

"I wonder what has him so giddy," said Fred thoughtfully.

"There's only one way to find out," said Lee smiling.

"Hold Mrs Norris for ransom until he tells us?" queried George.

"Er… yes," replied Lee kindly, "or we could just follow him and find out."

"Ah, keeping it simple," nodded George, "I like it."

The three boys carefully but quickly crept down the corridor and turned left following the route that Filch had. It brought them out to the main stairwell with its constantly change staircases. Looking over the banister Fred managed to catch a glimpse of the caretaker on one of the lower steps.

"He must be heading back to his office," concluded George leaning over the rail.

"Okay there's a shortcut behind the statue of McGummry the Ever-Confused," said Fred having a quick mental check of all of the routes they'd uncovered in the last two years, "it should bring us out just past his office."

"Good thinking," said Lee as the three boys backtracked quickly down the corridor to find the statue, "I'm always amazed that despite knowing all these shortcuts, we are always a bit late for our classes."

"It's because of all the shortcuts that we decide we have plenty of time to get to lessons," shrugged George, "if we didn't know about them I'm pretty sure we'd be on time."

They were soon standing in front of the large statue of a man scratching his head with one hand and holding a book open with the other. George took out his wand and tapped one of the stone legs three times with the end of it causing the whole sculpture to revolve forward revealing a hidden passageway behind it.

Fred led the way, quickly followed by Lee with George stepping through last and closing the doorway after him. Lighting their wands they navigated the tight meandering turns and steps until they were down on the ground floor near Filch's office. Fred pushed the door open a slight crack to let in a thin stream of light from the corridor. He pressed his eye up against the opening to see if the coast was clear, before pushing the doorway open to allow them to leave.

Fred led the creeping procession along the hallway; the open door of Filch's office could be seen ahead, the occasional flicker of a shadow from inside confirmed that there was someone inside. As the three boys got closer they could hear the caretaker's voice emanating from the room. Getting as close to the door as they dared the three boys listened in.

"I can't believe it is finally here Mrs Norris," said Filch from inside the room, "a brand new Secrecy Sensor. Top of the line this one is too, and just at the right time as well. Those third years are having their first Hogsmeade weekend this week and I bet they'll bring back a whole bunch of things from Zonko's, especially those Weasley boys. But I'll be waiting. Oh yes, one sweep of this and I bet they'll have enough on them to be shackled…"

George nodded to the other two to head back towards the hidden short cut where they could safely talk without the possibility of being overheard by anyone.

"I completely forgot about Hogsmeade this weekend," admitted Fred once they were back in the quite confines of the secret passageway

"Really?" asked Lee frowning in the dark, "because that's all anyone has been on about."

"It's because for everyone else it's their first time in Hogsmeade," said George thoughtfully, "we've been going about once a month since the first year so it's hardly something new for us."

"I bet Filch has been planning this since the first year," concluded Fred shaking his head.

"More than likely," agreed Lee, "I reckon he had all his hopes on catching you two bringing in a whole bunch of banned items so you'd be expelled straight away."

"Er… who was it that brought a Banshee Ball back last time?" Fred reminded his friend.

"That would be you," Lee answered, "I brought back the Blasting Jacks and those weren't banned at the time, although they were shortly after."

"Oh yeah," nodded Fred, "I still have the scars."

"Poor Filch is going to be so disappointed when he finds nothing on us," sighed George sympathetically.

"We really can't do that to our favourite caretaker can we?" asked Fred in a worried tone.

"Of course not," agreed George, "we'll have to think up something extra special for him to find on us."

"Like a Dungbomb?" ventured Lee.

"No," said Fred shaking his head, "we're gonna need something a little bigger then a Dungbomb for Filch."

"So… two Dungbombs?"

"Ah Lee," said George patting his friend on the shoulder, "this is one of those moments that requires something I like to refer to as a 'Fred and George Special Plan'."

"Great," sighed Lee, "I'm going to end up back in the Hospital Wing again, aren't I?"