It's another Friday night at the grandparents' house, and everyone was sitting quietly eating their food, except for Richard, who is on a business trip.
"Your grandfather called last night and told me that he has a special gift for you two from Prague." Emily tells her grand-daughters.
"Wow. Prague. How amazing is it that he's in Prague." Rory says.
"It's supposed to be lovely." Emily tells them. "Very dramatic castles everywhere."
"Do you know the cell that Vaclav Havel was held in is now a Hostel?" Rory asks. "You can stay there for like $50 a night. Hey. Maybe on our big trip to Europe we could go there and stay in his cell." Rory says to Lorelai.
"Absolutely." Lorelai agrees.
"Then we should go to Turkey and stay in that place from Midnight Express." Lauren adds.
Emily sees that Lorelai keeps picking at her food. "Lorelai, what are you doing?"
"Getting rid of the avocado." Lorelai tells her.
"Since when do you not like avocado?"
"Since the day I said, 'Gross. What is this?' and you said, 'avocado.'"
Emily looks on the other side of the table to find Lauren doing the same thing. "Please don't tell me you don't like avocados either."
Lauren grimaces. "No, Grandma. Sorry. I don't like tomatoes either."
Emily shakes her head, and looks at Rory. "I'm focusing on you now. Tell me all about the Chilton formal next week."
Lorelai looks up. "There's a formal?" She asks, sounding surprised.
"How do you know about the formal?" Rory asks her grandmother.
"Yeah. How do you know about it?"
"I read my Chilton newsletter." Emily tells them.
"Since when do you get a Chilton newsletter?"
"Well, as a major contributor to Rory's education, I figured I had the right to ask for a newsletter to be sent to my house."
"Are you serious?" Lorelai asks.
"And it's a good thing, too, since you don't bother to read yours. One of us should be up-to-date on the goings-on at Rory's school."
"So, you have a formal coming up?" Lorelai asks Rory before an argument breaks out with herself and her mother.
"Yeah. But I don't think I'm gonna go." Rory tells them.
"Nonsense. Of course you're going." Emily tells her.
"Mom, if Rory doesn't wanna go, she doesn't have to go." Lorelai says.
"Well, I don't understand why she wouldn't wanna go."
"I know you don't."
"I'm gonna go get another coke." Rory says and goes to the kitchen.
"I'm right behind you." Lauren follows. She didn't want to be stuck in the middle of a Lorelai and Emily argument tonight.
"What did you say to her?" Emily asks Lorelai.
"What are you doing talking about?" Lorelai asks, looking at her mom as if she was crazy.
"If she doesn't wanna go then it must be because of something you said."
"Mom, I promise, all I ever said to her about dances is that you go, you dance, you have punch, you eat, you take a picture, and then you get auctioned off to a bike gang from Sausalito."
"Lorelai, this is serious."
"Mom, I said nothing, okay. Rory's distain of formals is totally her own. Let's just drop it, please." Lorelai begs.
"Fine." Emily gives up.
On their way home, Lorelai and her girls are sitting quietly until the silence becomes too much for Lorelai.
"Why didn't you mention the dance?" Lorelai asks Rory.
"Because I'm not going." Rory states.
"Oh. But why aren't you going?" Lorelai asks, still not understanding.
"Because I hate dances."
"Good answer, except you've never actually been to a dance."
"So?"
"So, you have nothing to compare it to."
"No. But I can imagine it."
"That's true. However, not really since you've never actually been to one. You're basing all your dance opinions on one viewing of Sixteen Candles." Lorelai tells her.
"So?" Rory says, once again.
"So, you should have a decent reason for hating something before you really decided you hate it."
"Trust me. I'll hate it. It'll be stuffy and boring, and the music will suck. Since none of the kids at school like me, I'll be standing in the back listening to 98 Degrees, watching Tristin and Paris argue over which one of them gets to make me miserable first." Rory explains her reasoning.
"Wow. You definitely just made me not ever want to go to a dance." Lauren says from the backseat.
"Hey. Shush." Lorelai scolds. "You're not helping. "It could be sparkly and exciting, and you'll be standing on the dance floor listening to Tom Walts with some great looking guy staring at you so hard that you don't realize that Paris and Tristin were just eaten by bears."
"What guy?" Rory asks.
"I don't know." Lorelai shrugs. "Maybe the guy who hangs out in our trees all day waiting for you to get home."
"Dean does not hang out in trees."
"He bashed his head in a branch last week when I came out of the house too quicky." Lauren tells her.
Rory rolls her eyes. "Why do you care all of a sudden if I go?" She asks Lorelai.
"I don't care if you go. I just don't want you to miss any experiences because you're too afraid." Lorelai says.
"I'm afraid? Of what?"
"Of asking Dean, of him saying no, of going to a dance with a bunch of kids who haven't accepted you yet, of dancing in public, of finding out you should never be dancing in public." Lorelai smirks.
"Okay. Okay. I get it."
"Listen. I know you're not Miss. Party Girl. That's the other one back there." Lauren laughs. "But sometimes, I wonder, do you not join in because you really don't want to, or because you're too shy? If the reason you don't wanna go is because you really don't wanna go and not because you are in any way afraid, then this is the last time I'll mention it." Lorelai promises.
Rory sits there, thinking. "I don't have a dress." She says, after a few moments.
Lorelai shrugs "I could make you one."
"Really?"
"Oh. Yeah. We could get some great shoes, and some new earrings. We could get your hair done."
"Can I help?" Lauren asks, excitingly.
"We'll all get into it!"
"You won't think I'm an idiot?" Rory asks.
"It depends on what hairstyle you choose." Lorelai teases. "This dance could be great for you."
Roy looks away and wonders how she was going to ask Dean to the dance. What if Dean didn't want to go? What if Dean doesn't like dances? Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Rory and Lane are walking through town, in the snow, talking about the dance.
"He is going to say no." Rory tells her best friend. She was up almost all night worried about how she was going to ask Dean.
"Why would he say no?" Lane asks
"Why would he say yes?"
"Rory, listen, there's absolutely no point in having a boyfriend if he can't go to the dance with you."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Really?"
"No." Rory says, unsure.
"What is he then?"
"He's my..gentleman caller."
"Okay, Blanche."
"I don't know what he is, but he's not my boyfriend. Do you think he's my boyfriend?"
"I think you guys spend a lot of time not kissing other people if it isn't that sort of thing." Lane tells her.
"Girlfriend."
"You."
"Boyfriend."
"Him."
"No. It sounds weird."
"Look. Have you had the talk yet?"
"Yes, Lane. Babies come from the stork." Rory says, sarcastically.
"The other talk."
"What other talk?"
"We've been dating a few weeks now. Where do we stand? What are we to each other? If another girls asks you out, do you feel free go?"
"How is it you know so much about this?" Rory laughs. lightly.
Lane smiles. "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." She says proudly as they walk up to Doose's Market. They look through the window to find Dean stocking shelves. "There he is."
"I should do this later." Rory says, nervously.
Lane grabs Rory's arm before she can run away. "No. No. You have to do this now."
"Why?"
"Because I have to go home soon, and my mom threw out the t.v. because she caught me watching V.I.P. So, I'm bored, and I need some entertainment."
Rory inhales and exhales. "Okay. Here I go." She walks into the market and walks up to Dean. "Hey."
"Oh. Hey." He smiles, a little surprised to see her.
"You're busy."
"Yeah. I just have to put the new green bean shipment on the shelves. You wanna help?"
"Yeah. Sure." Rory follows Dean and grabs a box. "So, do you work on Saturdays? I forget."
"Well, it depends. Sometimes I come in if I don't have any plans. Why?"
"See. There's this thing at my school on Saturday. Well, it's not really at my school, but it's kind of given by my school."
"What is it?" Dean asks.
"Well, it's this kind of thing where you go, and they play music, and you're supposed to get dresed up and dance, and then there's chicken." Rory explains.
"Chicken?"
"Well, I don't know if there's chicken. But, at these kinds of things, they often serve chicken because it's probably cheaper and people eat it. So, the logic behind the chicken choice really isn't that bad." Rory rambles.
Dean looks confused. "I'm lost."
"It's a dance."
"Ahh."
"And it's not like I'm dying to go or anything. But it's a new school and being part of the social activities is really important at Chilton."
"So, are you asking me to go to a dance with you?" Dean asks.
"Yes. I mean, if you wanted to go, I would go, too." Rory shrugs.
"Well, that would probably be good since it's your school."
"Right. So, do you wanna go?"
"Honestly?" Dean says. He looks a little unsure about the situation.
"Yeah."
"I've never actually been to a dance before."
"Because they're lame?" Rory asks.
"Yeah. And it's not the way I ever wanted to spend my time. I mean, I'm not a big joiner."
"Okay. Fair enough. More beans, please." Rory grabs another box of beans and starts unpacking.
Dean stops working and looks at Rory. "You wanna go, don't you?"
"No, I don't." She lies. "I have no desire to go at all. I was just thinking out loud, that's all."
"What would I have to wear?" Dean asks, giving in.
"What?" Rory turns around, looking surprised that he's considering it.
"To this dance." Dean tells her. "What would I have to wear?"
"Anything you want."
"Come on."
"No. Really. Whatever you're comfortable in is fine."
"Rory."
"Some sort of pants would be good." Dean gives her a knowing look. "It's coat and tie." She says, quickly.
"Oh, man." He laughs.
"But you could probably get away with a coat and no tie."
"Okay."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Rory jumps up and kisses Dean. "Thank you!" She says, and runs out.
"You're welcome." Dean laughs.
Lorelai is busy pinning Rory's dress together for the big day, at the house. She is moving all around it, but when she bends down to fix the bottom, the mannequin falls right on top of her, causing Lorelai to fall to the floor. Lorelai kicks it off of her, and quickly gets up when the doorbell rings. She holds onto her back as she walks to the door where Sookie has already let herself in.
"Extra thread." She says, holding up the box to show Lorelai.
"Oh! God bless!" Lorelai says, happily. "I've been working so hard to finish Rory's dress, I haven't been able to get out." She says as they walk back into the living room.
"You're walking funny." Sookie tells her.
"I know. Rory's dress made a pass at me, and I think I pulled something getting up."
Sookie pulls the mannequin back into standing position. "Here. Sit. Sit." She says, helping Lorelai to the couch. "Hey. You know what? I got an ace bandage in my bag. I'm not sure how we can wrap it, but maybe we can do something creative." Sookie sits down and starts taking out all kinds of different pills bottles.
"Wow!"
"Okay. I got Percodan, Vicodin, Darvocet, uh.." Sookie looks at another bottle. "Well, take this one. It's a muscle relaxer." She says, giving Lorelai the bottle. "Very mild. I promise."
"Thanks."
"Okay. I've gotta go. You sure you're gonna be okay?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay." Sookie leaves just when the phone rings. Lorelai slowly gets up, grabbing her back, and walks to the phone.
"Ow." She groans in pain. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Yeah?" She answers.
"You sound terrible." Emily says on the other end.
"I'm fine, Mom. I just stubbed my toe." Lorelai lies.
"You should get rid of the clutter in your living room."
"Maybe.""
"That room is a hazard."
"Ah! I've seen the light. Everything goes." Lorelai says, annoyed as she sits back down. "What else you got?"
"I wanna talk about Rory's dance. It's just killing me that she's not going."
"Uh-huh."
"This may seem frivolous and silly to her now, but believe me, these are the kind of experiences you regret missing later."
Lorelai maneuvers the pillows around trying to make herself comfortable. "Okay."
"And regret can make you bitter. Do you want Rory to be bitter?" Emily asks.
"Well, sort of." Lorelai says.
"Lorelai!"
"What? She could make some cash off of it. Become a crazy Oscar Levant kind of celebrity, go on talk shows, heckle Regis."
"I wish you would take his seriously." Emily begs.
"Mom, Rory is going to the dance." Lorelai finally tells her.
"She is?"
"Uh-huh."
"Oh! That's wonderful! I'm thrilled!" Emily smiles, widely.
Lorelai slowly slips down to the floor. "I'm, uh, I'm making her dress right now."
Emily frowns. "You're making her dress?"
"Yep."
"But, why?"
"Well, so she'll look really ugly and people will point and throw rocks."
"Why don't you let me buy her a dress."
"Mom, you were thrilled five seconds ago, remember?"
"You're not using the curtains, are you?"
"Mom, I gotta go."
"Just one more thing." Emily says, quickly. "Take a picture of Rory for me, please?"
"I will."
"On the stairs. And, one by the door, and one as she's getting ready. You know, putting her hair up, putting her make up on."
"Okay. Do you want one when she's shaving her legs? You know, one leg up, in the tub, waving the disposable razor in the air?" Lorelai jokes.
Emily rolls her eyes. "This is a once in a lifetime even. You get to be there and I don't. If I got enough pictures, I could at least line them up in chronological order and pretend I was there."
"Mom."
"Maybe bind them together, make a flip-book out of them."
"Mom." Lorelai says again. "Would you like to come over on Saturday and see Rory go to the dance?"
"Why, what a nice idea. I'd love that. Thank you. I'll see you at seven." Emily hangs up and Lorelai throws the phone very far away, exhaling really loud.
At Chilton, Paris is selling the dance tickets when Tristin walks up.
"Hi, Tristin." She smiles, nervously.
"Paris."
"Two, I assume?"
"You assume right."
"So, who are you taking?"
"Why, are you free?" Paris stutters, trying to figure out what to say. "No. What am I thinking?" Tristin says. "You wouldn't be free this close to the dance."
"Here's your change."
"Hey. Is your hair shorter?"
"Yeah. Quarter of an inch."
"Really?"
"I got it trimmed."
"It looks good."
"Thanks." Paris smiles.
Tristin smirks, and turns away. He sees Rory standing in line reading. "And she's reading again. How novel."
"Goodbye, Tristin." Rory says, already annoyed with him.
"Well, did you get the 'novel' thing? Because-"
"I said goodbye." Rory interrupts.
"What are you doing here?" Tristin asks.
"I like lines."
"The guy's supposed to buy the tickets."
"Really? Does Susan Faludi know about this?" She asks, sarcastically.
Tristin smirks. "No. Unless, of course, there is no guy."
"No. There's a guy."
"A cheap guy."
"Well, what can I say? I like 'em cheap." Rory tells him. "Sloppy, too. Bald spot, beet gut, nad the pants that slip in the back, giving you that good plumber shot. That sends me through the roof."
"So, who is he?" Tristin asks, suddenly becoming jealous.
"How many languages can you say 'none of your business' in?"
"Does he go to this school?"
"No, he doesn't."
"Uh-huh. Look. Okay. I'll confess something to you. I don't have a date."
"Well, I hear Squeaky Fromme's up for parole soon. You should keep a good thought."
"I actually thought you'd like to go with me."
"You did not because you are not stupid."
"Why, thank you."
"Slimy and weaselly, yes. But stupid, no. You'd have to be stupid to think that, given our history, I would ever, barring a piano or a safe falling on my head, wanna go anywhere with you. Ever."
"Okay. Fine." Tristin says, looking angry. "I'll take Cissy."
"I'll send her a condolence card."
"Yeah. Well, at least she won't be buying her own ticker." Tristin walks away.
Rory makes it to the front of the line and hands a mean looking Paris her money. "Two, please."
"Idiot." Paris says.
"Excuse me?"
"He was totally nice to you and you were a big jerk."
"If you like Tristin so much, you go out with him." Rory tells her.
"I don't have enough change."
"Pay me later."
"What am I, your versa-teller? Wait for change. I need change!" Paris yells. "Now!" The guy sitting on the side of her runs off to grab the change. "There's no way you are going with someone better than Tristin." Paris tells her.
"Whatever."
"You probably don't even have a date. You're probably going to come down with some rare form of the flu that only hits losers on dance night."
"You know what? I don't want my change. Money makes people shallow." Rory walks away just as the guy with her money runs up.
"I've got your change!" Paris yells at her. "Hey! Hey, if you think I'm keeping this dollar, I'm not!"
It's Saturday night, dance night, and Rory is in her room getting ready. Lorelai is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine, very impatiently. Lauren comes down and sees that her sister isn't out yet.
"Come on already, Rory!" Lauren yells as she sits on the floor behind the coffee table.
"I'm primping!" Rory yells back.
"You're sixteen. You have skin like a baby's ass. There's nothing to primp!" Lorelai tells her.
"Okay. Okay. Here I come." Rory walks out wearing her dress. Her hair is up, but she's wearing boots. Lorelai and Lauren gasp in awe.
"Wow. Someone hit you with a pretty stick." Lorelai tells her.
Rory twirls around. "This dress is amazing. You outdid yourself."
"It's beautiful. Babe, you look beautiful."
"You are so making my first dress, Mom." Lauren says, looking at her sister.
"Come here." Lorelai waves Rory over.
"What?" Rory says, walking over.
"Stray hair." Rory bends down so that Lorelai can fix it.
"I think my favorite part is the shoes." Lauren laughs.
"The heels hurt." Rory tells them.
"Well, beauty is pain." Lorelai says.
"I'll just throw them on on my way out."
"You should put them on now and let your feet get really numb."
"That's sick." Rory grimaces.
"Go get my the hair spray."
"Okay." Rory walks away.
The doorbell rings. "It's open!" Lorelai yells.
"It's me!" Sookie yells, walking in. "I got tacos!"
"Yay!" Lauren jumps up and grabs the bag from Sookie.
"I got a bunch of hot sauce and a few extra burritos that you can put in the fridge in case you get hungry later."
Lorelai smiles, gratefully. "You take such good care of us."
"Hey, Sookie. Look." Rory says, walking back in.
Sookie gasp. "Oh! You're a movie star!"
"Alright. Let me spray. Shield the tacos." Lorelai tells Lauren.
"No. You don't move." Sookie says, taking the hair spray from Rory. "I got it." Lauren runs to the kitchen with the tacos. Sookie goes to spray Rory's hair, but, instead, she sprays herself in the eyes. "Oh!"
"Sookie." Rory says with worry. "Are you okay?"
"Wrong way. Sweetie, hand that to your mother. My eyelashes are all stuck together."
Rory walks over and gives Lorelai the hair spray. "Honey, are you sure you're alright?" Lorelai asks.
"I'm fine." Sookie walks to the kitchen.
"Lauren, help Sookie! She sprayed her eyes."
"Okay!" Lauren yells back.
Lorelai sprays Rory's hair. A lot. "Geez!" Rory says, pulling away.
"Okay." Lorelai stops. "That'll be good for six slow dances, four medium ones, one lambada, but if you wanna do any moshing I suggest another coat." Lorelai jokes.
"No. I think I'm good." Rory laughs.
"Oh, is this soap?" Sookie asks from the kitchen.
"No!" Lauren yells.
The doorbell rings again. Rory goes to her room while Lauren runs into the foyer to open the door. "Grandma's here!" She announces.
"Hi, Lauren. Why are you yelling?" Emily asks. "That is not appropriate for a young lady."
"Come in, Grandma." Lauren says, choosing to ignore her comment.
Emily follows Lauren into the living room where Lorelai is still sitting. "Where is Rory?" Emily asks as she sets her things down and prepares her camera."
"Wow. I feel loved." Lauren says, sarcastically.
Lorelai brushes her fingers through Lauren's hair, lovingly. "She's in her room." Lorelai tells her mother.
"Perfect. I wanna be all ready for the big entrance. How's the light in here? Never mind. I'll take one wih the flash and one without to make sure we've got it right." Emily says.
"Wow. Mom, look at you. You'd think Anne Taylor was having a sale or something."
Emily rolls her eyes. "Okay, Rory, come in here, please."
Rory walks in with a napkin tucked in her dress as she eats a taco. "Hey, Grandma." SHe smiles making Lauren laugh.
Emily glares at Lorelai. "She has lived with you for too long."
"Honey, lose the bib and the taco. Put your shows on and come back out. Let Grandma take the pretty picture." Lorelai tells her.
"Okay." Rory smiles and walks back into the kitchen.
Sookie comes in with her eyes still closed. "I'm gonna get going." She tells them.
"You are not driving." Lorelai tells her.
"I walked." Sookie turns to where Emily is not standing. "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Gilmore, or at least make out your shape."
"Call me in fifteen minutes, or I'm sending Lauren out to find you."
"Well, you call me if I need to come over and help you up the stairs or something."
Lorelai hesitates trying to hide her injury from her mother's watchful eye. "No. I'll be fine."
Sookie leaves. "Why would you need help up the stairs?" Emily asks Lorelai.
"No reason." Lorelai says, quickly. "Rory, let's go! Your public awaits!"
"Why aren't you moving? Lauren, why isn't your mother moving?"
Lauren looks at her mom and then at Emily trying to figure out what to say. "I'm comfortable, that's all." Lorelai says.
"Are you hurt?"
"I have a little back spasm. That's it. It's no big deal."
Emily walks over to Lorelai. "What kind of back spasm?"
"I don't know, Mom. Just a normal one."
"There is nothing normal about a back spasm. The fact that it has the spasm in it means it's not normal."
Rory walks in. "Alright. Here she is, Mom! Get your camera moving."
Emily turns around quickly and begins taking pictures. "Oh, my! You're gorgeous! I'm so glad you decided to buy her a dress." Lauren glances up at her mom who just smiles and shakes her head slightly.
A car honks outside. "That's Dean." Rory tells them.
"Hey. Come here." Rory runs over to her mom and kisses her on the cheek. "Have an amazing time."
"I'll chronicle the whole evening for you. I promise." Rory tells her. "Bye, Lauren. Bye, Grandma." Rory kisses her, too, on the cheek, and starts walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Emily asks, stopping her.
"To the dance."
"You do not go running out the door when a boy honks." Emily scolds.
"Mom, it's fine." Lorelai tries to reassure her.
"It is certainly not fine. This is not a drive-through. She's not fried chicken."
"But I told him to honk and I'd meet him out there. We agreed." Rory tells her.
"I don't care what you told him. If he wants to take you out, he will walk up to this door and knock, and say, 'good evening,' and come inside for a moment." Rory sighs. "Like an civilized human being would know to do."
"Now, Mom, this is silly. I have met him already." Lorelai tells her.
"Well, I haven't."
"Yeah, but-"
"We will wait until he comes to the door." Emily tells them.
"He doesn't know he's supposed to." Rory tells her.
"He'll figure it out." Dean honks the horn again. Rory looks at her mom, begging for help, but Lorelai knew there was nothing she could do Rory crosses her arms, huffing, while they stand around waiting for Dean. "He's not a very bright boy, is he?"
"Mom, please." Lorelai begs.
Finally the doorbell rings and Rory runs to it. "Don't rush!" Emily scolds.
Rory runs anyway and opens the door. "Hey."
"Hey." Dean says. "I thought I was supposed to honk."
"I know. I'm sorry."
Emily walks up into his eyesight. "Young man, come in here, please." Dean walks in and Rory closes the door behind him, following him into the living room.
"Hey, Dean. Meet me mother, Emily Post." Lorelai jokes.
"Emily Gilmore." Emily introduces herself.
"HI." Dean says.
"Hello."
"Great rap session. You guys are out of here. Have fun." Lorelai waves.
"Be home by eleven." Emily tells them.
Rory and Dean look at Lorelai and she mouthed twelve. "Bye!" Rory waves.
"Bye!" Lorelai and Lauren both yell.
Dean and Rory rush out the door before Emily can try stopping then again. "What do you know about this boy?" Emily asks Lorelai.
"I know that Rory likes him, and that his parole officer has high hopes for his rehabilitation." Lorelai jokes.
"Does he drink?"
"Like a fish."
"That's not a crazy question." Emily says, going over to the window to take a peek.
"It is a crazy question, Mom, because if I had knowledge of him being a drinker, he would not be with Rory now."
"Yes, but-"
"Mom, please relax. Dean is a good kid. Rory's gonna have a great time. You got your pictures, and tomorrow I will call you and give you all the details."
"What are you going to do?" Emily asks, looking back at her daughter who still hasn't moved since she got there.
"What do you mean?"
"You certainly can't be left alone."
"She's not alone, Grandma. Your other grand-daughter is right here." Lauren says, as she continues working on her homework.
"I know you are here, Lauren, but your mother can barely move. She's been sitting there since I got here."
"That's because this is a right comfy couch." Lorelai tells her.
"Maybe I should stay."
Lauren sighs. "No. No, Mom. You really don't have to do that. I have Lauren here and she can help me with anything I might need. We've managed being by ourselves before, ya know?"
"What if you need to go to the bathroom?"
"I don't go anymore, Mom. I gave it up cold turkey."
"I'm staying." Emily says, stubbornly.
"No, Mom. I can stand, okay?" Lorelai stands up, slowly. "I'm up, okay? See? I'm fine." She tries not to show how bad she is hurting and Lauren can tell.
"Move." Emily challenges.
"What?"
"Move. If you're fine, then move."
"I can move." Lorelai says, still standing in the same place. "This is me moving."
"Mom, give it up." Lauren tells her.
"Rats." Lorelai gives up and sits back down.
"I'll go start some tea." Emily walks into the kitchen. "Please tell me you having something besides Lipton."
Lorelai and Lauren groan. "A stroke would be so good right about now." Lorelai says, dramatically.
On their way to the dance, Rory and Dean are driving silently.
"Maybe we should just forget about this." Rory tells him. She couldn't help but keep thinking about what was going to happen when they show up.
"Okay." Dean says.
"I mean, it's just dance. What's the big deal?"
"Beats me."
"And these kids at my school, awful. Have you seen The Outsiders?"
Dean smiles, sensing Rory's nerves. "Yeah. I have."
"Just call me Ponyboy." Dean laughs. "But I heard this place is beautiful. Old and historic. Maybe we could just go in for a minute."
"Fine."
"Or not."
"Fine, too."
"I don't know. Why can I decide?" Rory asks, growing frustrated with herself. "This is stupid. What do you think?"
"I think that you look amazing tonight." Dean tells her.
Rory smiles. "Maybe just a couple minutes won't hurt."
Lorelai is laying on the couch with Lauren still sitting in front of her, working on her project. Emily hangs up the phone after speaking with her maid.
"So, Mom, you really, really don't have to do this. I have Lauren here. We've stayed by ourselves, without Rory, before. I think we can manage."
"Don't be silly." Emily tells her. "What if something happens and you need to go to the hospital. Lauren can't drive."
"Mom taught me how to drive the car in case of an emergency." Lauren says.
Emily glares at her daughter. "You did what?"
Lorelai shrugs. "What? It's not like she's actually going to do it. I was teaching Rory at the time. Lauren was there. She'll still need a refresher course when she's fifteen."
"I'm not going anywhere." Emily walks into the hallway closet.
"What are you doing, Mom?"
"I'm trying to find the candlestick I bought you."
"What candlesticks?"
"The baccarat candlesticks I bought you last year for Christmas." Lorelai and Lauren look at each other, knowing exactly what Emily is talking about. "I assume that you stuffed them in the back of the closet somewhere."
Lorelai closes her eyes, trying to think of something to come up with. "I did not stuff them in the back of the closet."
"Well, then, where are they? I don't see them out."
"Well, see, we didn't actually have a big use for the crystal candlesticks." Lorelai tells her, cautiously. "So, I kinda of-" Emily walks back in making it so much harder for Lorelai to be honest. "-exchanged them."
"For what?"
"A monkey lamp."
"Pardon me?"
"It's a lamp with three monkeys on it, Grandma." Lauren explains. "It's right behind you."
Emily turns around and looks at the lamp. "Baccarat crystal candlesticks for a monkey lamp?" Emily asks, not believing what she is seeing.
"They're really, really happy monkeys, Mom." Lorelai says.
"They're holding coconuts and leering."
"It's funny." Lauren smiles.
"You traded my lovely gift for a semi-pornographic leering monkey lamp? How could you?" Lorelai shrugs. "This is not just about the bad breeding of returning a gift. This goes to the very heart of the question of taste. You were given something of substance, and you cast it off for a ridiculous slighly sinister barroom decoration?" Lauren slowly turns away from being scolded by her grandmother. Lorelai sinks down further into the couch. "Explain this to me, Lorelai."
"My back hurts." Lorelai says in her best pathetic voice while she pouts.
Dean and Rory walk into the dance and look around at all the kids surrounding the area.
"Well, it's a very good room." Rory says, approving.
"Looks historical." Dean says.
"I commend the person who suggested this location."
"So, we could just get our picture taken and lean." Dean suggests.
"We could."
"Or we could dance a little first."
"Yeah?"
"I stressed a litte." Dean tells her.
"Something slow."
"That sounds good." Dean takes Rory's hand and leads her to the dance floor.
Paris walks up to them. "Rory."
"Paris."
"I see you came."
"You sold me the ticket." Rory reminds her.
"I'm Jacob." Paris' date introduces himself.
"Hi. I'm Rory. This is Dean."
"Hi." Dean says.
"Hi."
"Excuse us." Paris pulls Jacob away.
"So, that's Paris?" Dean says.
"Yes, it is."
"She seems fun." He says, sarcastically.
"Oh. Yeah, she is."
"Okay. So, this dancing thing is not something I want you to get used to or comment on."
"Now, that goes both ways." Rory tells him.
They start to sway to the music. "Hey. If I kiss you is a nun gonna come out and boot me out of here?"
Rory smiles. "It's not a catholic school."
"So, I can kiss you?"
"Yeah. You can kiss me." Dean bends down, slightly, and kisses Rory on the lips. Tristin is watching from afar looking angry.
"So, Ponyboy, you happy?"
"Yeah. I'm happy."
Lorelai is still laying on the couch with her legs resting up on the top of the couch. Lauren is still on the floor finally putting the finished product on her project. Emily walks in and puts a plate of food on the table.
"What's that smell?" Lauren grimaces, covering her nose.
"Yeah, Mom." Lorelai says, making the same face as her daughter. "I think somebody already ate that."
"That is a mashed banana on toast." Emily tells them. "Lauren, I used to make this for your mother when she was a little girl."
"You did?" Lorelai asks, not remembering.
"Yes. Whenever you got sick, I made this."
"You sure it wasn't the other way around?" Lauren asks.
"You don't want it?" Emily asks Lorelai.
"No. No. I want it." Lorelai says, not wanting to hurt her mom's feelings.
"I'll just take it back." Emily goes to grab the plate, but Lorelai grabs it instead.
"No, Mom. I said I want it."
"Mom, I really don't think you should eat that." Lauren says.
"I can throw it away." Emily tries again.
"Relinquish the banana, please." Lorelai puts the plate back on the table.
Emily sits down on the other side of the couch. "You can't possibly be comfortable like that."
"Mother, please, this is the first position in 24 hours that has not made me crazy."
"Alright." Emily looks at the plate that still on the table. "You're not eating."
Lorelai grabs the toast and smells it. "Mom, please don't make me eat this."
"Well, you have to eat something. I'm sure Lauren hasn't had dinner yet, either."
Lorelai tosses the toast back on the plate. "Sookie left us some burritos in the fridge."
"I'll warm it up."
"We can eat it cold." Lauren says from the floor.
"Oh. I'll just go get it then." Emily says, somberly.
"Hot's better, though."
Emily smiles. "I'll be right back." She goes into the kitchen.
"Lauren, grab me that pill bottle." Lauren hands Lorelai the bottle. "Thanks." She watches Lorelai pop two pills in her mouth.
Later, Emily and Lorelai are watching t.v. This time Lorelai is sitting up, resting her legs on the table.
"Oh, look. Barbara Stanwyck. I just love Barbara Stanwyck." Emily says in awe.
Lorelai smiles at her mom. "You know, Mom, you have kind of a Barbara Stanqycky voice."
"No, I do not." Emily smiles.
"I mean it. You could've gotten Fed MacMurrary to off Dad if you really wanted to." Lorelai jokes.
"You do enjoy teasing me, don't you?"
Lorelai laughs. "You know, I really do."
"You know, Rory looked so lovely tonight."
"She did, didn't she?"
"I just can't get over how she's grown up into that little woman who walked out of here."
"I know. You know what, Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"I made the dress." Lorelai tells her.
"You did a lovely job."
"Thank you."
"With the girls and the dress."
"Thank you."
Lauren runs downstairs and smiles happily. "I finished it, finally!"
Lorelai rolls her eyes, playfully. "You're just like your sister sometimes."
"I just wanted it to be perfect." Lauren says, as she cleans up the table.
"You've been working on it for three days. It was finished two days ago." Lorelai jokes. "But, now that you are done, come sit with me." Lorelai grabs Lauren's hand and sits her between herself and Emily.
Emily watches as Lauren snuggles close to Lorelai. "Well, let me get this out of your way." Emily says, taking the plate of toast. "You really don't remember me making this for you when you were sick?"
"I don't. I'm sorry." Lorelai says.
"Well, I did, and you loved it."
"You know what? Let me give it a try."
"Mom, please, don't. It doesn't look safe." Lauren tells her.
Lorelai laughs and grabs the toast, taking a bite out of it. She starts chewing and put the rest back on the plate. "Yes?" Emily asks.
"It's even more disgusting than I thought it was gonna be." Lorelai tells her.
"Oh, it is not." Emily takes a bite, too. "Oh! It's horrible!" Emily stands up and runs to the kitchen. Lorelai and Lauren are laughing, hysterically. "What on Earth was I thinking!?"
At the dance, Rory and Dean are sitting at a table, by themselves, just enjoying one anothers company.
"So, uh, you wanna maybe go?" Dean asks.
"You're bored. I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's go. Right away." Rory says, quickly gathering her things.
"I'm not bored. I thought there's still a little time left. Maybe we could get a cup of coffee somewhere, hang out a little, too. Take a walk. You know, just us."
Rory smiles at the thought. "That's be nice."
"I'll get the coats." Dean walks away and grabs their coats. On his way back to Rory, Tristin steps in front of Dean.
"You know, we haven't met." Tristin tells him.
"No, we haven't." Dean says.
"I'm Tristin."
Dean nods his head, remembering the things Rory told him about Tristin. "Ah. Yes, we have."
"What are you talking about?"
"Rory's mentioned you." Dean tells him.
"Oh, yeah?" Tristin smiles.
"Yeah. I wouldn't get quite so excited about it."
"Oh. Why? Did she say something mean?" Tristin says, mocking hurt.
"She said you're a jackass."
"Really?"
"Actually, no. Rory doesn't use words like that. I embellished a little."
"Oh. So, you're the big, strong protector? Little Princess needs a protector?"
Rory runs over. "What's your problem, man?" Dean asks as he gets into Tristin face.
"Nothing. I just don't like your girlfriend."
"Really? It doesn't look that way to me."
"I don't really care how it looks to you."
"Hey. You got in my path, not the other way around." Dean tries to walk away, but Tristin steps in front of him again. "You're kidding, right?" Dean laughs.
"Why? Are you going somewhere?" Tristin asks, smugly.
"Get out of my way, 'Dristan.'"
"Aren't you clever?"
Rory tries to get in the middle of them. "Hey. What's going on?" She asks.
Dean hands Rory her coat. "Nothing. Just getting to know your boyfriend." Tristin tells her. "It's going real well, don't you think?"
"Okay. Well, I hate to break up the party, but we should go." Rory tells Dean.
"Oh, why? Little girls' got to be home?" Tristin teases.
"Stop!" Dean yells, having enough.
"No. I think you two make a very cute couple. Is your horse and buggy parked outside? Gotta get home for the barn raising?"
"Let's go" Dean grabs Rory's hand. Tristin steps in front of Rory, but Dean pushes him away. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"
"You will not push me again!" Tristin yells, getting into Dean's face.
"Are you seriously trying to act tough? You're wearing a tie!"
"Outside, now!"
Dean laughs. "I'm not fighting you. It would be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done." Dean walks away, but once again Tristin grabs Dean and pushes him. "You don't want to fight me, Tristin!" Dean yells as he pushes Tristin away.
"Why not!?"
"Cause I'll kill you, idiot!" Dean walks back over to Rory. "Come on, Rory." Tristin runs over to them, but before he can touch either one of them, Dean turns around. "You will not come near her ever again." Dean threatens before he leaves with Rory.
Lorelai and Lauren managed to fall asleep on the couch. Lauren is laying in front of Lorelai with Lorelai's arms wrapped around her; her head resting in the crook of her mom's neck. Emily reaches over and grabs the remote, turning the t.v. off.
"What are you doing?" Lorelai asks, barely awake.
"Go to sleep." Emily whispers.
"The movie's not over."
"I'll tell you how it ends." Emily puts a blanket over them both. She pushes the hair out of Lorelai's face and rubs her fingers, gently, over Lauren's cheek before she goes and settles in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
Dean and Rory are walking down the gazebo in Stars Hollow.
"That was quite a dance." Dean says, amused thinking about his encounter with Tristin.
"I seriously don't know what got into him."
"I do."
"What?"
"He has a thing for you."
"No. He doesn't. It's just a game to him or something." Rory says, completely clueless.
"He has a thing for you." Dean repeats.
"He does nothing but insults me and make me miserable."
"He has a thing for you."
"I don't know how I feel about this whole situation."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. Have a boyfriend defend my honor. It's weird." Rory admits, not realizing what she said.
"Boyfriend?" Dean asks.
"What?"
"You said boyfriend."
"No. I just meant boyfriend-" Rory says, nervously. "-in the sense that the defending me thing was very boyfriendly, but only in the broadest sense of the word which doesn't apply at all here."
"You are seriously babbling." Dean smirks.
"I didn't mean that you were my boyfriend." Rory says again.
"Okay."
"I don't think you're my boyfriend."
"Okay."
"Dean?"
"What?"
"Are you my boyfriend?"
"In the broadest sense of the word way?" He asks.
"No. In the real, 'Hi this is Dean, my boyfriend,' kind of way."
"Well, I am if you want me to be."
Rory stops walking and looks serious. "I do." She tells him.
"Okay." He says.
"So, it's settled."
"Yes. It is."
"You're my boyfriend."
"That's the consensus."
"I'm feeling pretty good about this decision." Rory says as they start walking again.
"Well, I'm very glad to hear it."
They walk by Miss. Patty's studio and see that the door is slightly opened. "I guess Miss. Patty forgot to lock up." Rory says.
"I've never really seen in here before." Dean says as they walk inside. They walk around and look at the pictures hanging on the walls. "Are all these women really Miss. Patty?"
"Yeah. She said she's done everything there's to do in show business except set fire to the hoop the dog jumps through." Rory tells him.
She drops her purpose on accident. "I'll get it." Dean bends down and picks it up. "Geez. This weighs a ton. What do you have in here?"
"I don't know." Rory says, taking her purse back. "A lipstick, $5 bill, hairspray, a book."
"A book?"
"Yeah."
"You brought a book to the dance?" Dean laughs.
"Yeah."
"You thought there would be a lot of downtime?"
"No. I just take a book with me everywhere. It's just a habit." Rory explains.
"So, uh, what are you reading?" Dean pulls the book out of Rory's purse.
"The Portable Dorothy Parker."
Dean skims through it. "Cheery." He says, as they sit down on the bean bag chair in the corner of the room.
"It's funny, though." Rory smiles. "Hey."
"What?"
"Thank you for tonight. It was perfect."
"You're welcome." Dean leans in and kisses Rory before settling back and reading the book together.
The next morning, Dean and Rory somehow ended up falling asleep with each other. Patty walks in with a group of women, and they walk over to Rory and Dean.
"Oh. My goodness. It's Lorelai's girl. Patty, Rory Gilmore is here." One of them says.
"What?" Patty looks confused as she walks over.
"She's asleep with the bag boy from the market."
Patty starts shaking Rory awake. "Rory, honey, it's Miss. Patty." Rory starts to wake. "Rory? Rory? What are you doing here?"
"Miss. Patty?" Rory says, groggily.
"Yes. Have you been here all night?"
Rory's eyes widen when she realizes where she is. "Oh, no! Dean, wake up!" Rory panics.
"What time is it?" Dean asks, waking up.
"It's 5:30 in the morning." Patty tells him, sternly.
"Oh, no! We fell asleep!" Rory continues panicking.
"Calm down. I'll explain it to your mom." Dean says, helping Rory get her things.
"Where's my purse?!"
"I got it. Relax."
"I have to go." Rory grabs her purse and runs out of the studio.
"Rory, wait up!" Dean catches up with her.
"I have to go."
"I'm going with you. We'll explain. It'll be okay."
"No. You can't come with me. You shouldn't be near my house right now."
"It's not our fault."
"I know. I just have to get home."
"Please." Dean begs. "Please let me come with you."
"No!"
"Rory!"
"I have to go home!" Rory continues running.
Lorelai and Lauren are still sleeping until suddenly Emily shakes them awake.
"Lorelai! Lauren! Wake up! Wake up!" Emily panics. "Wake up now!"
"What?" Lorelai says, half asleep.
"Rory's not home." Emily tells her.
Lauren jumps up. "Rory's what?" Lorelai asks, sitting up.
"I sat in that chair all night. I dozed off for one second. The next thing I know, it's 5:30 and she's not here." Emily explains.
Lauren jumps off the couch and runs to Rory's room. "Rory?" Lorelai calls out as she stands up.
Lauren looks at the empty room and still made bed. She walks back out and looks at her mom. "She's not here, Mom." Lauren says, looking scared.
"She's not there! Aren't you listening?" Emily follows.
Lorelai starts panicking when she looks into the empty room. She grabs the phone. "Lauren, call Lane." She says, handing Lauren the phone. Lauren nods and runs out of the kitchen.
"What are you doing? Call the police!" Emily yells at Lorelai.
"Mom, stop it!" Lorelai yells.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to find my cell phone. What do you think I'm doing?"
"You need to clean up around here. What if there was an emergency!? What if Lauren was choking!?"
"Mom, stop yelling!"
"Rory is missing!"
"I know that, and your yelling is not helping me!"
The house phone rings and Lauren answers it. "Rory? Oh. Miss. Patty." Lorelai and Emily walk in watching in hopes of good news. "Okay! Thanks. I'll tell her." Lauren hangs up, letting out a breath she had been holding. "Rory's okay."
"Where is she?" Emily asks.
"She and Dean were at Miss. Patty's."
"What is that? A motel?"
"It's Dance Studio." Lorelai tells her.
"She said she found them asleep and woke them up. Rory's on her way home now." Lauren explains.
"And what state were they found in?" Emily asks, looking worried.
Lauren looks confused. "Mom, don't ask my daughter that." Lorelai scolds.
"She didn't do anything." Lauren tells Emily with anger. She knows what her grandmother was getting at, but she also knows Rory would never do that. At least not right now.
"Lets just try to be calm until we know what happened." Lorelai says, calmly.
"What do you mean?" Emily exclaims. "We know what happened."
"Lauren, babe, go upstairs for me. I'll let you know when Rory gets home." Lauren shakes her head, and runs upstairs. "No. We don't." Lorelai tells her mother.
"They were out all night!"
"I'm gonna make some coffee." Lorelai says, walking back to the kitchen.
"Lorelai, I've watched you do a lot of stupid things in your life, and I've held my tongue."
Lorelai laughs, sarcastically. "Huh. You've what?"
"But I will not stand by and let you allow that girl to ruin her life."
"Mom. Back off."
"She spent the night out with that boy, the one you let her run off to that dance with." Emily reminds her.
Lauren quietly makes her way halfway down the stairs. She sits against the wall, listening.
"So, help me, I will not get into this with you." Lorelai says, trying stay calm.
"She's doing the same thing you did."
"No, she's not."
"She'll get pregnant."
"No, she's not." Lorelai glares at her mother.
"She's gonna ruin everything just like you did."
"No, she's not! No, she's not! No, she's not!" Lorelai yells. She slams the coffee pot down on the counter. "Rory is a good kid, Mom! She's not me!"
"No. You're right. Lauren is just like you!"
"Don't you dare bring Lauren into this, Mom! She's a good kid, too! My kids are great!"
"What kind of mother are you to allow this to happened?" Emily says, in disbelief.
"I don't know, Mom. What kind of mother were you?"
"You're gonna lose her. Just like I lost you."
"I'm not gonna lose her. Do you hear me? Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, you'd still have lost me. I had nothing in that house. I had no life. I had no air. You strangled me. I do not strangle my kids!"
"Oh, you're so perfect, and I was so horrible. I put you in good schools. I gave you the best of everything. I made sure you had the finest opportunities, and I am so tired of hearing about how you were suffocated and I was so controlling. Well, if I was so controlling why couldn't I control you getting pregnant and throwing your life away?" Emily asks.
"Get out!"
"What?"
"You will not come into my house and tell me I threw my life away. Look around, Mom. This is my life!" Rory slips in the front door, quietly. She sees Lauren sitting on the stairs listening to her mom and Emily argue. Lauren looks at her sister, her green eyes glistening with tears. "It has a little color in it, so it may not look familiar to you. But it's a life. And if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have Rory, and I would have Lauren!"
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Maybe I was some horrible, uncontrollable child like you say, but my children aren't. They are smart and careful, and I trust them. They are gonna be fine. And if you can't accept that or believe it, then I don't want you in this house!"
Rory and Lauren watch Emily walk out of the house. Rory walks into the the kitchen "Mom, thank you for saying all those-"
Lorelai turns around, facing her daughter. She was so angry at her Rory. She doesn't remember ever being this angry at Rory before. "What were you thinking, staying out all night?" Lorelai asks, interrupting her daughter. "Are you insane!?"
"I'm sorry. It was an accident."
"You're talking to the Queen of staying out all night. I invented the concept. This is no accident! You can't do this! Period!" Lorelai yells.
"Nothing happened." Rory says, pleading for Lorelai to believe her.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up with my mother here and find out that you never came home?"
"So, all this is about Grandma being here?" Rory asks.
"No. It's about the feeling of complete terror when your kid isn't in her bed in the morning."
"I'm sorry."
"And it's a different kind of terror when you find out she's spent the night with some guy!"
"I didn't spend the night. We fell asleep."
"You are going on the pill."
"What!?"
"You are not getting pregnant."
"I'm not sleeping with Dean!"
"Damn it!" Lorelai yells.
"What happened to all that stuff you said to Grandma?" Rory asks. "What happened to trusting me? Where did all that go?"
"I think it's back on Patty's yoga mats." Lorelai glares.
"This is crap! You know I didn't do anything. You know this was an accident. You're just made because I screwed up and I did it in front of Grandma, and she nailed you for it. Well, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I screwed up, and I'm sorry that you got yelled at, but I didn't do anything, and you know it!' Rory yells and walks into the her room, slamming her door behind her.
Lorelai tries to hold back her tears as she walks out of the kitchen to go upstairs. She sees Lauren sitting there with tears streaming down her face. Lauren shakes her head and runs upstairs. Lorelai sighs and falls back onto the ouch, letting her own tears fall as she sits alone.