But I'm flying so high
High off the ground
When you're around

-Jem-

When Lily woke up the next morning, she really wanted to just fall back asleep.

And it wasn't because of her love of sleep, although that love was eternal and would never fade. It was the fact that the night before she had most wonderful dream. It wasn't the usual. The smutty dream where a faceless man and her did things that would make her blush and feel deliciously guilty for the rest of the day. It wasn't actually sexual, but had the same intimacy level as the smutty dreams. She was lying down and they were below the stars, and she was talking to this …guy, and in the middle of talking he took her hand and just held it. Not in the way movies show you it looks like, where it's seamless, but careful and thoughtful. Like he'd been thinking about holding her hand all night and he just got the nerve to do it. It was a blissful moment, she was devastated to find only existed in her subconscious.

Lily groaned, and buried her face under her pillow.

If she squeezed her eyes shut hard enough she could swear she could remember what it felt like, but it was distant and not enough.

After a while, she sat up and sighed. Life was never that simple or that easy, but she supposed it was nice, if even in an imaginary existence she had something.

"LILY!" Her mother shouted from the first floor.

She stumbled into the bathroom and made a grab for her toothbrush. "I'M UP!"

"BE DOWN IN FIVE!"

Lily nodded, though her mother could not see her.

She looked into the mirror and grimaced. After washing her face, brushing her hair getting changed, and eating she should resemble something looking vaguely human.

Sometimes she really hated her hair and her skin. They went together, but if she didn't have dark red hair maybe she wouldn't have such sensitive, freckled, easily blemished skin. Some mornings she'd wake and find a patch of spots on her chin or lower jaw without any warning at all. If she had darker skin it wouldn't be so noticeable. Once she put on nearly a pound of cover up and it only made her skin break out more.

Luckily, she didn't currently have that problem, but she still worried she looked younger than her age. Mary had cleavage, so she easily passed for 20. Emmeline also looked young, but had the absolute perfect figure. Lily on the other hand had these unnaturally long chalky legs and not much curves.

Looking in the mirror, she bent forward and used her forearms to push her boobs together. They weren't too small, but she felt like she looked rather boyish with her slim shoulders, hips, flat belly and small arse.

But at least she didn't gain weight. So at least unlike Mary, she didn't have to constantly figure out what size she was, so there were positives. Just looking at herself, fresh from bed, it was easy to only see the negative. Lily shook herself out off it and trudged on. After all things had been worse, and they could always get worse, so there was no reason to stand there and waste anymore time thinking about it.

Lily came down to the kitchen in some shorts and an old football shirt of her dad's, with Evans written on the back. "Thanks mum."

Her mother handed her a bowel, box of cereal and milk, but gave her daughter a look. "You know how I feel about you wearing that jersey."

"Mum, I'm just running errands today." Lily rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Evans sighed, "And what if you stumble across a bloke? What is he going to think?"

"Hopefully, that looks aren't everything…."

"Lily-Anne!" Her mother yelled.

Lily scoffed, "What?!...I think you take this a bit too seriously, mum."

"You are seventeen. You shouldn't be locked up in the house all day."

"I'm not! I go out all the time!"

"Your sister is getting married-"

"And that doesn't mean I have to." Lily informed her scooping a bite of cereal. "There's more to life than having a boyfriend, mum."

Mrs. Evans said, "I just don't think you are trying very hard."

"You're right." Lily said with a mouthful of food. "I'm not."

"Be home for dinner tonight."

"…Why?..." Lily clenched her eyes shut and shook her head, "Mum I swear if you make me have family dinner with Petunia and Vernon again-"

"Just be home." Mrs. Evans huffed; in exasperation before leaving the room with a look of irritation only Lily seemed to be able to create.

Sometimes she felt bad that she couldn't be like Petunia, even if it was just for the sake of her mother, but then she'd see her dad's old guitar peeking out of his office or the Manchester United flag hanging in the living room. And she knew better than to change herself just to please her mother. So she just kept on eating breakfast, and tried to hold onto that.

"Well hello," Dorea Potter mused, her lips pursed, "So nice of you to join the world of the living."

"Mum," James laughed, slipping into the chair next to her, fully dressed. "It's 9 o'clock. It's too far away from noon for you to make that comment."

She smiled and took a sip of coffee. "What is on the agenda for today?"

"I haven't decided."

"You're lying." She said sharply, "Your forehead wrinkles the same way your fathers did when he tried to lie to me."

"Not at all because I just woke up to an interrogation…" He said sarcastically rubbing his face.

"I just want to know what friend you are spending time with." She said eyeing her son knowingly. "I know all of your friends."

James grabbed a piece of toast, smeared some butter on it, took a large sip of the tea in front of him and stood up. "Sorry, Mum. I have to get going. I love you."

"Would you sit down?! Where are you going?!"

James winked at her, eating his toast in three bites, before apparating away to the Evans residence. He took a minute, feeling his breakfast turn in his stomach longer than necessary. "Ugh…I shouldn't have eaten and apparated." He muttered to himself, before straightening himself out and looking at her house.

It was a two-story house with a dark blue trim and a garden that seemed to wrap around the house. When he peeked past the walk way he saw that behind the house there was a spacious back yard where Lily undoubtedly used to play in her shoeless youth. James let out a slow breath and ran a hand through his hair. She could be mad. After all she did wave away his suggestion. And she could also be incredibly awkward at his presence. Just because they had reached a point of civility didn't mean that she would feel comfortable with him being at her doorstep.

But he decided, why not take a chance? If she didn't like it he would be on his way and wouldn't bother her again. He was aware that his perspective of the situation could not be the same as hers and he was prepared for the consequences. James had a feeling that she wouldn't be mad though, despite all the fear and anxiety pleading the case that she would be. He just had a feeling that she wouldn't mind.

So he stepped forward, fixing his shirt and knocked on the front door. He expected her mother to answer and his plan was to politely win her over, but Lily herself was at the door, her dark red hair in her face.

Lily stared at him, in bewilderment. For a moment she just stared at him, slack jawed, before she asked, "How did you know where I live?"

"I'm physic."

She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, trying to hide her amusement. "Physic?"

"Yep."

Lily sighed. Not out of annoyance, but just out of wary. "Mary or Remus told you."

"I have my sources."

"Sources?"

"I owled Remus until he replied."

"How many times was that?"

"Eleven."

A smile broke out on Lily's face and she bent her head. "Ugh…You are relentless."

"I said I'd help." He grinned earnestly, "I'm just keeping my word."

Lily shrugged to herself, before pushing open the door and letting him in.

"Where do I put my shoes?"

"Just by the door." Lily said, closing the door behind him. "This is the magnificent living room," She took a few steps in and eyed him almost apprehensively.

James didn't know why. Her house was so warm, from the carpeting to the pictures on the wall, her house was so welcoming and lived in. On the mantelpiece he saw a picture of Lily without her two front teeth and he smiled.

"I would like a tour."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Of course you would." Lily pointed to the next room, "Kitchen. The room behind that is my dad's den. Back there is the laundry room and bathroom. Upstairs are all the bedrooms."

James teased her, "All of them?"

Lily waited a beat before pushing him. "Prat."

He grinned and asked, "Where is everyone?"

"My sister is cake shopping and my mother went to work." Lily replied simply.

"Where are the comics?"

She led him through the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway of another room. "In there."

James noticed how she clung to the frame of the door, not stepping inside and not even really looking directly inside. It was like she knew she had to go in but she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. He understood but he'd been the opposite. She, it seemed was terrified of touching them and changing what she remembered about them and in turn her father, but he used to spend most sleepless nights wandering around his fathers office, trying to remember every little detail. It was one of the many ways he supposed they were opposite. James was always trying to covet everything he could and Lily was always tiptoeing around, scared to really want anything.

He told her in a low reassuring voice. "You don't have to."

"I know." She muttered back, her voice low. "But I should do it."

"Alright?" James reached over and put his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Alright."

James then followed her into the room, which smelled distantly of cigars. Mr. Evans had an L-shaped desk with books lined up along the top leading up to the ceiling and some old rock posters on the walls. His eyes caught onto a picture of a tall ginger goateed man, with a redheaded girl on his shoulders. They were at some sporting event judging by the face paint on the people's faces. He took a step closer and saw Lily was screaming in excitement, her arms thrusted in the air while her father's face held the exact same expression.

"I was eight." Lily told him. "He invited Petunia but she wanted to go with my mum somewhere. It was the finals….and we won."

Her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it and he had half an urge to pull her into a hug, but he resisted it. Instead, he looked away and saw a closet lined with comics from top to bottom. "Wow, you weren't kidding."

"Yeah, it's a lot. I guess just grab an armful and we can haul it to my dad's car."

He nodded, rolled up his sleeves and then pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Oh shite...I forgot. I have to phone my grandfather and cancel." She mumbled, turning around to head to the kitchen."

James said, "You don't have to. I don't mind going with."

"I can't. I made him a promise." She said, not elaborating further. "It will just take a second. Just wait here."

She disappeared into the kitchen and James shrugged and decided to look around further. By all evidence, Lily's dad had been pretty cool. His father's office was filled with mostly paperwork and family heirlooms. There weren't a lot of personal touches in the office except in the drawers where he kept pictures of James and his journal. Mr. Evans on the other hand didn't seem to be so private. All of his interests were spread out proudly and without abandon. So even though, James would never get the pleasure to meet the man he had an idea of who he was beyond what Lily had already told him.

Mr. Evans was the type of man that had the drawings his daughters' had made him on the wall. He was the type of person who would probably be very direct and no nonsense, much like Lily was from time to time.

It was odd, but looking around he could see so much of Lily. Not just literally in the pictures of her around the room, but by the way everything just…was. It was odd, but he had a feeling that this room was more personal to Lily than her own bedroom would be based on memories alone. How many times had she played on the carpet of this room? How many times had she listened to her father play the guitar? How many times did she fall asleep in her father's lap?

James had loved his father, but he wasn't as hands on as Lily's dad obviously had been. Mr. Potter was a loving father, but still of the old generation. He didn't show you he cared by telling you. He showed you by being at your Quidditch matches, showing you how to shave or by teaching you how to throw a Quaffle. They had a very typical father son relationship, but the longer it had been since his father had passed the more James had wondered if he truly knew the man. James knew how his father took his coffee, which shoe he tied first and how strongly he detested pears, but was that really knowing someone? Was it the little details? James had no idea what hobbies his father held. He was a very private man, but standing there, James began to wonder what about his father he didn't know.

"Sorry. All set?" Lily informed him, strolling back into the room.

James licked his lips and nodded. "Yep. Let's started."

James's reaction to Lily driving was quite possibly her new favorite thing. Not only did he help her carry more than half of the comics, but also he loaded them into the car and didn't say a single word about her driving. If he thought she was the worst driver on the planet he kept it entirely to himself and after Petunia constantly acted the role of backseat driver, Lily appreciated that. Though, she had a good suspicion it was because he'd never been in a car because when he did gasp or flinch it was when she did regular things like stop at a stop sign or turn at a turn signal. It was actually rather adorable; he really was a human deer with his gawky limbs and twitchy reactivity to everything that surprised him.

When they arrived at the comic book store, they didn't stay long. They just unloaded the comics and took some money from the new owner in exchange. Lily could tell James wanted to look around a bit so she didn't say anything at first, but once he saw her discomfort he suggested they leave.

"What to do now?" James asked, his hands in his jacket pockets.

"Um…" Lily opened the car door and sat down in the drivers seat. "Well we could see a movie, get lunch or …I dunno. What do you usually do?"

"Run around with the guys." James shrugged, getting into the passenger seat. "Okay, Evans how to I get this seat back?"

Lily snorted and gestured under the seat. "There's a lever."

"Ahhh…" James sighed in relief, stretching out his long legs. "Excellent."

"So what do you want to do?"

"Well, do they still make those pictures in black and white?"

Lily turned on the ignition and backed out of the parking lot. "Uh…I'm sure they can, but they've upgraded to color…Haven't been to the movies much?"

"I used to go when I was little with my friend, but not recently."

"Well they've been in color for a while now. I've been wanting to see something, I miss going to the movies when we are at the castle…Want to get food and then see it?"

James nodded, "Sounds good."

"I was going to drag Remus, but as he hasn't replied to my owl I guess you will have to do." Lily joked.

"Well I do make a very remarkable understudy." James sat a bit straighter and pouted.

"What…what are you doing?" Lily laughed, before looking back at the street.

"I'm being Remus. All I have to do is say sarcastic things with this face and I'm basically him."

She grinned, before saying, "Okay, do Peter."

James leaned his chair all the way forward and slid to the edge of the seat, clasping his hands and sucking his lips together.

"Awww, Peter!"

"What about Sirius?"

"Oh, easy." James took off his glasses, pushed his hair into his face, relined his seat back all the way and smirked at her. Not his usual I'm-James-Potter-I-can-get-away-with-everything-smirk, but Sirius's why-are-you-still-wearing-your-knickers-smirk.

The expression always made her roll her eyes on Sirius but on James…her throat tightened, her grip on the steering wheel constricted and she gulped. Suddenly the station wagon felt a lot smaller, she was visibly flustered. Lily waited a few minutes to make her voice sound normal. They were friends, and friends weren't supposed to sound all hot and bothered when they were joking around. Friends were supposed to laugh or nod approvingly, so she opted for the later.

"You should leave that to Sirius."

James chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Lily pulled into the parking lot of a little dinner she always had gone to. "This is it."

They both got out of the car and headed in. She reached for the door but James's arm was longer and got the door first. Lily jolted back in surprise, when he stepped back and held the door for her.

When James smiled he never usually used his teeth. But the difference between a smile and a smirk was always by the shift in his jaw. A smile was simple, his lips would lift and his eyes would be warm and light. A smirk on the other hand would add a glint to his hazel eyes and tilt to his jaw. Lily wondered why he never smiled with his teeth, but then it occurred to her that that wasn't a normal question to ask someone so she kept it to herself and just went inside.

"Two?" The hostess asked.

Lily nodded and the pair followed her to a booth in the back. On her way over she saw a familiar face and her jaw dropped. "..Courtney?!"

"Lily?!"

The tall blonde leapt out of her seat and charged into Lily's arms nearly knocking her over. "It's been ages! Are you home for the summer?"

"Yeah! How are you?!"

"Well," Courtney smirked devilishly before holding out her left hand. "I have some news."

"Oh my god!" Lily gushed, she brought Courtney's hand up a bit and added, "Did he buy you a diamond or just discover a whole mine?!"

"He went in and said he wanted a ring so big that I'd be too embarrassed to wear it." Courtney giggled. "You must come over soon and I can show you all the wedding plans!"

Lily smiled brightly and nodded, "I would love to! What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Seeing you now of course!" Courtney's dewy brown eyes turned to James. "And who is this?"

"Oh," Lily paled, "Sorry! This is my friend from school. James, this is Courtney."

"Nice to meet you," James smiled and shook her hand, "Congratulations."

Courtney glowed. "Well thank you!" She turned to Lily. "You are aware that my brother is coming over your house for dinner tonight, right?"

"No…why?"

"Your mother phoned mine and said she thought it would be rather nice for the two of you to catch up."

Lily grimaced and groaned. "Noooo."

"So I suggest you figure out a way to sabotage that, because my brother is looking for a wife, and last time I checked you weren't too keen on marriage."

Lily sighed, "I will take care of it. Thank you for the heads up, Court…My mother…" Lily shook her head in exasperation before continuing, "What time tomorrow?"

"Five good with you?"

"That would be great!"

Lily squeezed Courtney's hands happily. "I will see you then!"

"Nice to meet you." Courtney said to James.

He nodded in return and followed Lily to their seats.

The minute they arrived, Lily dropped her head to the table's surface and moaned. "One of these days I'm going to smother my mother with one of her decorative pillows."

"Why?"

Her head rose from the table and grumbled, "She's trying to set me up with Courtney's older brother Nick."

The waitress dropped off some waters and a menu, while Lily shrunk down in her seat.

He must have been thinking what a loser she was that her mother had to set her up in order for her to have a chance at marriage. James must have realized at that moment how truly pathetic she was that her mother thought that low of her, that not only was she incapable of finding a boyfriend on her own but she needed her mother to do it for her. Lily wondered if he was sitting there trying to hold back a laugh because at one time he had asked her out and this was the girl that rejected him. This sad, redhead of a disaster had rejected him, was he thinking how lucky he was that she had said no?

It didn't look like it. There wasn't even a hint of amusement on his face; instead he played with a straw wrapper, tying the ends together. He wasn't looking directly at her, but it wasn't like he was ignoring her. It just seemed like he was just taking a minute to think about what he was going to say to her.

James tiled his head to the side. "You don't want to date him?"

"I can't date a muggle."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't marry a muggle." Lily said, playing with her own straw wrapper. "I'd have to lie to him about who I am and almost everything about me…Besides if I'm going to date someone it's because I want to date them, not just because I don't want to be single. Nick has always been perfectly nice, but…I'm good."

James eyes lifted and his lips twitched up. "What are you going to do tonight?"

"Fake sick?" She mused miserably. "Take him aside and tell him what's going on."

"Your mother might just snatch you another suitor, you know."

"She is relentless like that…Doesn't matter."

"Oh?"

"I'll turn them all down anyway." Lily shrugged sheepishly.

James eyed her and said in a careful tone. "What if you like one?"

"Honestly, even if she was bringing me Wizard suitors I'd say no."

He paused and nodded.

"I think there's better things to focus on, you know?"

James said, "I can see that."

"What about you?" She asked lightly. "Aren't most pureblood's locked into arranged marriages?"

It seemed a natural progression and it was an honest question. Friends talked about such things, but Lily genuinely didn't know the answer. Sirius had mentioned in one detention that he had nearly been arranged to marriage his own cousin before he ran out. Was James's family traditional? Were they just a more tolerant version of Sirius's parents or did it not matter to them at all?

He shrugged, running a hand through his dark wayward hair. Why did he do that? Was it a nervous tick or just something to do?

James said, "I'm not arranged to anyone. My parents marriage wasn't either."

"I'm just always curious how these things work."

"Well, my family goes back centuries and we are still mostly in good standing, but we don't disown our squibs or blood traitors."

She glanced at him thoughtfully and was going to ask another question when the waitress returned. "What can I get you two?"

"Um," Lily smiled at the woman, "I don't think I've given him a chance to look at the menu but I will take a burger, fries and a chocolate shake."

"I'll just get a burger, fries and a coffee please." James said handing the woman his menu.

"That will be right up." The waitress returned a few moments later and handed Lily her shake and James his coffee. "Any sugar?"

"One please." He replied.

Lily eyed his coffee with a lustful look on his face.

"You can have some." James snickered, offering her the mug.

"I like the smell of coffee but I don't like drinking it…Does that make sense?"

"No." He said flatly.

She shrugged. "Oh well." Before handing the mug back.

After finishing lunch, which she insisted to pay for as he had helped her with the comics and paid for her ice cream the night before, then they went to see the new James Bond movie. If Lily was being perfectly honest she didn't watch most of it. She spent of it talking to James about how unrealistic it was that he could get any girl and laughing at James's impressions of Jaws. She laughed so hard they both were crying and several people told them off, but they didn't care.

"You have to see the older ones," Lily insisted, as they pulled up to her house. "Sean Connery was a much better Bond."

"I certainly hope so." James scoffed. "But I did enjoy the dramatics of it and the action."

Lily grinned. "I'm glad you had fun."

"Spending time with you isn't too bad." James nudged her, while he walked her to her door.

Lily beamed, and turned around on her stoop, her keys in her hand. The sun was still high in the sky and wouldn't go down for several hours, but dinner started in fifteen minutes and she was sure he had other things to do.

It was just…so odd. There were several times where they just seemed to fall into sync with each other without even trying and like they'd been friends for years instead of just a few weeks. Lily found herself not worrying about what she looked like or seemed like but just being herself. It was refreshing as it was something she hadn't ever been able to do in front of a bloke that she found attractive. But that was the thing about James, he made everyone around him feel perfectly at ease and as though they were at perfect liberty to be whomever they wanted to be.

"You know. I've been saying I was going to take those back since I got home." Lily admitted sheepishly, tucking her long hair behind her ears.

James crossed his arms boyishly. "Oh?"

"I…" She rolled her lips together and rocked from foot to foot. "I…I don't think I would have been able to go in if you hadn't showed up. So…er...thanks."

He didn't smile; his eyes brown with a touch of green were so warm. "No problem."

Lily bit the side of her lip, and hesitated. She wanted to do something, but she wasn't sure if it would be stupid. So before she could stop herself she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him. With the help of the step her head rested perfectly on his shoulder. She sucked in a nervous breath, for a split second, she froze thinking she made a horrific mistake, because he didn't move, but then his arms dropped from his chest and rested on her back. She let out a breath just as he began to hold her closer. And then she felt him shift, and his cheek came to rest on her forehead.

He smelled so good. It was definitely cologne, but it wasn't the same as Remus's or Sirius's. Remus just smelled like ordinary deodorant and Sirius smelled like Calvin Klein or whatever those bloke's in the polo's wore. But James…god. She didn't know exactly what it was. It was woodsy, but not overpowering. It just, she didn't know how to catalogue it. It just…smelled like him. All she knew was that it was much more comfortable than she had given him credit for. He always looked so boney, she had assumed it would be like hugging a thinner Remus, but it was better than Remus. Because Remus never hung on too long, but James clearly was willing to hang in as long as she wanted the hug to go on.

The problem was. It was just supposed to be a thing. A fleeting, few seconds thing, but once she was in his arms she didn't really want to leave. Maybe it was the few weeks she had without any testosterone. Maybe it was because he came and helped. Maybe it was because of a million things, but one thing Lily knew for sure. She really liked being friends with James Potter.

Lily pulled away, with a shy laugh and crossed her arms. When she looked at him she could see a slight flush in his cheeks, but she pretended she didn't.

He cleared his throat and said, "What are you doing Wednesday?"

"Uh. Catsitting and probably nothing else."

"Are you doing that all day?"

"Just till four thirty. I have to be home for dinner though."

James nodded. "What time do you end dinner?"

"6."

"Be ready at 9."

Lily laughed and eyed him suspiciously. "What are we doing at 9?"

"Going on an adventure." He declared, with a bemused smirk.

"Where?"

"I haven't figured it out yet. But I'll be here at 9." James informed her, backing away from the house.

Lily laughed at him.

"Alright, Evans?"

"Alright, Potter."

He winked at her, and then with his hands in his pockets he walked down her walkway and over to the sidewalk. She didn't even think about going inside. Lily stood there, in her dad's old football jersey watching James Potter walk away. She focused on his walk, the strut of a man who knows where he's going but also the walk of a teenager who could get away with anything. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Lily! What are you doing out there?" She heard her mother call from the kitchen. "Come inside. Dinner is almost ready!"

Lily nodded, but didn't go in until she saw him apparate away.