"Can we really trust Sephiroth?" Donald asked.
"We have to keep going anyway," Riku reasoned. "Let's just stay on guard."
"Ah, phooey! I wanted to use my new magic on ol' Sephy," Donald complained.
"You and Goofy left me to fight alone!" Sora snapped. "Both times!"
"We were looking for that darned orchestra," Goofy said.
"Look!" Polyhymnia gestured to the dark figure blocking the staircase to the next floor.
Riku gasped. "It's you!"
Maleficent, the self-proclaimed Mistress of Evil, was standing in the center of the seventh floor of the Seraphic Gate. She wore her usual long black robes and carried her staff. Her raven, Diablo, was perched on her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Riku asked.
"I'm searching for magic relics, what else?" Maleficent answered. "Us being here at the same time is a coincidence, nothing more."
"Would you mind letting us pass?" Terpsichore asked.
"Why should I let you pass?" Maleficent asked. "I have a score to settle with the Keybearers, and now seems as good a time as any."
"You petty witch!" Riku snapped.
"Why so angry?" Maleficent asked.
"You tried to take the spotlight!" Roxas snapped. "Remember, Xemnas was supposed to be the main bad guy last time!"
Maleficent shrugged. "It still beats playing the second-fiddle hero like Riku did in both games."
"Second fiddle?" Riku repeated. "How dare you!"
"Maleficent?" Sora asked. "I know this is weird to ask, but you helped us with Xemnas last time. Would you mind helping us just one last time? We can go back to our usual mutual dislike after Calamity's gone."
"I only helped you because I wanted Xemnas' castle. And I get what I want," Maleficent said. "So don't flatter yourself."
"But Calamity wants to kill us. So shouldn't you want to stop her because you want to kill us yourself?" Mickey asked.
"I doubt Calamity will succeed. You're like cockroaches," Maleficent replied. "On the off chance she does defeat you, I'll simply send her a thank you note."
"You think Calamity's going to let you run around free?" Erato asked. "Guess again. So shouldn't you be concerned, for your own self-preservation?"
"I am not as...delicate as you, Valkyrie," Maleficent answered. "It takes more than death to keep me down."
"You were never supposed to be materialized," Euterpe growled. "You should have stayed dead!"
"And who's going to stop me?" Maleficent asked. "You, the daughter of a weak goddess who depended on mortals to fight for her?"
Euterpe's spear materialized in her hand. "Are you insulting my mother?" She suddenly began to emit a red glow. Her jaw clenched.
"Uh oh," Terpsichore said. "Euterpe's gone into Kill Mode."
"What?" Riku asked. "I thought she was always in Kill Mode."
"Kill Mode is the phrase we colloquially use to describe Euterpe's current state," Urania explained. "When she gets really mad, she'll become stronger and faster. And she'll counterattack far more readily."
"Why don't you try me?" Euterpe asked.
Diablo looked at Euterpe and fell down dead at Maleficent's feet.
"Also, it's not a good idea to look at her while she's in Kill Mode. It's not for the faint of heart," Erato said.
"Your Majesty, Sora, Riku, do you mind if I handle this alone?" Euterpe asked.
"Are you sure?" Goofy asked.
"I can take her," Euterpe said.
"Go ahead," chorused everyone else, including Euterpe's sisters. No one wanted to argue with Euterpe while she was in something called 'Kill Mode.'
Euterpe raised her staff and dove straight toward Maleficent. Maleficent threw large, thorny vines in her path, but Euterpe cleaved through them all with her spear.
Euterpe reached Maleficent and stabbed her five times, though not so deep that the spear would get stuck. Since Maleficent was a fairy, she could sustain more damage than a human. Maleficent responded to the stab wounds with fireballs, which Euterpe easily dodged. Three ghostly holy-elemental spears sliced through Maleficent. Euterpe leaped into the air and hung in the air near the ceiling. "Divine Strike!" Euterpe's spear enlarged to three times its normal size. Euterpe hurled it at Maleficent. It landed with a crash and sent a large cloud of dust.
When the dust cleared, Maleficent was leaning on her staff. "Ugh..."
"Care to rephrase what you said about my mother?" Euterpe asked.
Maleficent staggered back. "I'll leave for now. But mark my words, Sora, I will have my revenge. And you better not hide behind this Valkyrie next time." She vanished, leaving only a small green flame to mark where she had been.
"Euterpe, that was great!" Donald said.
Euterpe's red glow faded. "Thank you."
"Believe it or not, there actually is someone worse than Maleficent," Clio commented.
"I find that hard to believe," Riku said. "You can't get any worse than Maleficent."
"Ever heard of Marjoly?" Urania asked.
"Nope," Sora said. "Never."
"She's known universally as the most malevolent witch in the galaxy," Clio explained.
"When she was fifteen, she fell in love with a prince. She tried to cast a spell to take him to her castle, but it failed miserably." Erato added. "She ended up turning him to stone. And he was rescued by his true love. Marjoly became disillusioned and decided she could find another love if she became so powerful that no man could refuse her. She went to the Netherworld to study the dark arts. And she found the power she so desired. It warped her mind, making her cruel and sadistic. She became a demon."
"Gawrsh!" Goofy commented. "Ya think we'll have to face her?"
"Anything's possible," Urania said.
XXX
Marjoly sneezed.
"Bless you, Mars-Bar," Gant said.
Marjoly glared at him. "Oh, hell no! You're not calling me by that stupid nickname!"
"Would you prefer Mar-Mar?" Gant said. "Joly-Poly?"
"You know what? I'm going to give you a stupid nickname. From now on, I'm gonna call you 'Der Kommissar'!"
Gant laughed and clapped. "I love it!"
Marjoly buried her face in her hands and groaned.
XXX
"Are we all ready to go?" Maia asked the party. They were in front of Santa's house. Everyone else nodded.
"Ready!" A voice came out of nowhere. A familiar voice.
"Didn't think you got rid of me, did you?!" Ultros was there, sharp teeth and all. "It took me a long time to find you!"
Gordon screamed and curled up into the fetal position.
"How can you survive out of water?" Kairi asked. "Or in this freezing cold, for that matter?"
Ultros looked annoyed. "I just can, okay?! None of your beeswax!"
Maia took out the silver bell.
"Your new aeon?" Auron asked.
"We don't have time to slug it out with him." Maia rang the bell.
A beam of light shone down on the party from above. There was a shower of holly leaves, and suddenly Kolyada appeared.
"You really need my help, if you called me already," Kolyada said. "I'll hold him off while you teleport away."
Ultros looked annoyed. "Hey! You can't do that! I'm rather partial to plump mages! Please let me have a bite..." Kolyada blasted him with a stream of sharp icicles. "Owie!"
XXX
"An empty floor! What a relief!" Terpsichore sighed. The ninth floor of the Seraphic Gate was indeed empty, save for a dusty red-bound book lying on the floor.
"What's this dusty book?" Riku kicked at the book.
"Who dares disturb me, the Great Lord Zetta?!" a voice boomed.
Everyone looked around.
"Down here!" The voice came from the book.
Everyone looked down as the book turned itself upright, revealing dark eyes and a nasty smirk.
"A talking book?!" Sora asked.
"ZETTA BEAM!" Zetta shot a beam of white light, which Sora jumped out of the way to avoid. "Hmm...quick enough to dodge that? You're no ordinary little boy."
"Little boy?!" Sora huffed.
"Um, don't you ever read the news?" Terpsichore asked. "He's the Legendary Savior. The Keyblade Master. One of three who have the power to change the course of fate. Any of this ring a bell?"
"That little squirt?" Zetta asked.
He's annoying me, Sora. Set him on fire or something.
"If you say so, I'll just crush you all and be on my merry way..." Zetta began.
"Well, what are you gonna do?" Riku taunted. "Give us paper cuts?"
"Like I haven't heard the book jokes a million times already," Zetta snarled. "You want some pain, little boy? Keep talking. I'm the strongest freakin' Overlord you'll ever piss off."
"But you're a book..." Goofy said. "It's kinda hard to take you seriously."
"Book or not, prepare to bow to the universe's most badass freakin' Overlord!"
Donald raised his staff. "Ifrit Caress!" Fireballs appeared and struck Zetta from all sides.
Zetta realized he was on fire. "Ouch! Fire! It BURNS!" He bounced around. "Put it out!"
"I just realized that's the Sacred Tome," Clio said nervously. "It's a book of prophesies. Should we really destroy it?"
"Fine. I'll put him out," Urania said, raising her orb. "Awaken, the voice that speaks of empty sky. Now harken thee the voice of the Ocean's Lord. Tidal Wave!"
A tsunami appeared and engulfed Zetta, extinguishing the flames.
Zetta coughed. "Great! I'm all waterlogged. Now feel my wrath!" He began to glow. "Badass Overdrive!" Tens of thousands of pure energy arrows surrounded the party and pelted them. The room echoed with Zetta's laughter. "Ha! I'm one badass freaking Overlord!"
The onslaught finally ceased.
"Allow me!" Mickey's body glowed. He charged toward Zetta and kicked him with such force that the book flew up into the air. "Disaresta!" Mickey leaped up and slashed at Zetta with his Keyblade about twenty times in succession. Just before Zetta fell, Mickey brought his Keyblade down hard, knocking Zetta down with such force that he left a crater in the ground. Mickey remained levitated in the air. Thousands of Pearl Orbs rained down, hitting Zetta and making him yelp. Mickey followed this up by hurling his Keyblade, creating a giant explosion.
"Whoa..." Sora said. "Is that Mickey's special move?"
"You mean Limit Break?" Riku asked. "It's so powerful."
"This is so unfair!" Zetta cried, coughing out a puff of smoke. "If I had been in my original body, you would never have defeated me!"
Mickey looked surprised. "You mean, that's not your real form?"
Zetta snarled. "Of course not! What kinda bad-ass freakin' Overlord would wanna look like this?! I have to find a way to get my beautiful bod back..." A spell seal appeared around Zetta and he vanished.
Sora noticed a shiny yellow stone on the ground. "Zetta left something behind." He picked it up. "It feels warm to the touch." The rock began to glow. It heated and Sora dropped it before it could burn.
Electricity surged from the crystal, forming into the outline of a humanoid figure. The figure became corporeal.
He had an aura of sheer power around him, though he didn't look that old. Sora guessed his age to be between thirteen and seventeen. The man had teal hair. He wore a pair of baggy pants, an open teal and yellow jacket, and blue gauntlets. His ears were pointed, and he had two horns in the middle of his forehead. "That stupid Zetta trapped me in that crystal! He called it 'magicite', whatever that is. Rotten little...how dare he fight dirty like that! Thanks for releasing me."
"You're welcome," Sora said. "Who are you?"
"I am Alexander, God of Destruction. You can call me Alex. Or Alejandro. I'm not choosy."
"Destruction?" Sora repeated. "So you're evil?!"
Alex shook his head. "Not really. Unless knocking down uppity little bastards like Zetta is evil."
"But you destroy things, right?"
Alex shrugged. "Someone has to. So, how about I come with you?"
"You want to come with me?" Sora asked, surprised.
Alex nodded. "Yeah. There's a chance you'll bump in Zetta again. And I don't like being indebted to a lesser god."
"Lesser god?" repeated Erato. "Man, you're full of yourself."
Alex looked at Erato quizzically.
"Um...I don't know…" Sora said.
What?! Are you kidding? Roxas whined. I love this guy. He kind of reminds me of Axel...
Sora ignored Roxas as usual and continued. "We have bigger problems than Zetta. Calamity is loose."
"Calamity?" Alex repeated. "She's really bad news. I insist. I'll even ride in that magicite and only come out when you want me to fight. It's kind of cozy once you get used to it."
"Deal!" Sora said. He extended his hand. Alex shook it. Sora felt a surge of electricity course through his body and his skeleton flashed. His hair would have stood on end, had it not already been unnaturally vertical.
Alex blushed. "Whoops. My bad."
XXX
"This is strange," Maia said once the party had landed in a new world. "I was aiming for the Seraphic Gate, in the Tria System. But we're a long way from it."
Kairi looked around. They were in the middle of a forest.
"I knew I might miss it by two or three worlds, but we're way on the other side of the universe!" Maia commented. "Something or someone is interfering with my teleportation spells. This particular world is called Mundania. Magic isn't very strong here. Maybe whoever it was is hoping that we'd be stranded."
"In the middle of nowhere?" Kairi asked. "Seems likely. But who or what could change the course of the teleportation spell?"
"It might be Calamity," Gordon said. "That's my guess."
"Can you get a read on Sora?" Auron asked.
"Yes," Maia said. "He's still in the Seraphic Gate. I want to catch him before he gets Dainslef. He might attempt to challenge Calamity once he gets it."
"Couldn't he kill her with that?" Gordon asked. "The Dainslef is a godkiller Keyblade, isn't it?"
"Four thousand years ago, maybe," Maia said. "But Calamity's possessing my mother's body, and my mother grows in strength as time goes by. After all that time, Calamity is exponentially more powerful."
"So how do we beat her?" Kairi asked.
"I don't know," Maia admitted. "I'm hoping my sisters have a plan."
XXX
"Sappho catches on quick," Calamity said, watching the viewing ball. She, Hades, Loki, Gant, Lezard, Cartman and Marjoly were in their meeting room, eating lunch.
"I could care less about what happens to Sappho, but Auron is getting under my skin." Hades asked. "But what to do? Breaking his soul didn't work."
"So? Put Guido on it," suggested Gant. "He's a sneaky little shit like you."
"That...might actually work," Hades said. "I'll tell Guido to find them after he comes back from the Seraphic Gate. Is that all right with you, Calamity?"
"Fine by me," Calamity said. "As long as he leaves Sappho alive. Playing around with her is fun, but I've got plans for her. She's an essential bargaining chip."
"Sending her to Academia and Puritanland was funny," Marjoly commented. "But why'd you let her go to Christmas Town to warn them?"
Calamity shrugged. "Give her a little false hope. I'll destroy Christmas Town, but not yet. Business before pleasure, I always say."
XXX
Sora, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Riku, and the goddesses ventured to the next floor.
A man, clearly human, was standing in front of the stairs. He wore an expensive black suit, silk tie, and dark sunglasses. His black hair was neatly combed. A strange tattoo was visible on his right wrist.
"Who are you?" Riku asked.
The man bowed. "My name is Guido Kandori. I'm the former CEO of the Saeki Electronics and Biological Energy Corporation. I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of being my next opponent."
"Are you a supervillain?" Goofy asked. "Cause you kinda look like one."
"I'm not a supervillain," Guido replied. "I'm an ordinary man, like yourself. Only with a hundred times more money, intelligence, and taste."
"Hundred times more intelligence than Goofy?" Donald snickered. "A hundred times nothing is still nothing!"
"You tell me, Guido," Terpsichore said. "If attempting to destroy your world makes you a supervillain."
"He did that?!" Sora asked.
"He is a heretic," Terpsichore said. "He allied himself with the Lord of Darkness to plunge his world into everlasting darkness."
Guido shrugged. "I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids."
"So he was killed by those kids?" Donald asked.
"Yes," Terpsichore explained. "He was resurrected four years later by a group of fanatics, and stopped again. I handled both his deaths."
"What can I say?" Guido said. "You got me, Lady Valkyrie."
"He was brought back to life?" Riku asked. "How?"
"Kotodama," Guido explained. "And of course, the power of my…patron saint."
"Patron saint?!" Sora asked. "The Lord of Darkness, whoever he is, hardly sounds saintly!"
"Allow me to introduce you." A glowing blue light surrounded Guido. A mysterious creature appeared above him. It looked like a large, winged gargoyle.
"Thou art I, and I am thou," the thing said in a deep voice. "I come from the sea of thy heart. I am the Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep!" A wave of black energy swept across the room, pushing most of the party back.
"What is that thing?!" Riku asked, standing up. He was the only one able to. "I'm getting two different signatures. One's Guido's, the other's..."
"A Persona!" Mickey cried. "It's the strongest one I've ever seen!"
Sora tried to stand up. "Ugh, dark power...it's stronger than Xemnas or Xehanort's Heartless."
"I kinda need you," Riku said. He drew the Way to the Dawn and attempted to hack at Guido, who responded with shots from a semiautomatic pistol.
Hmm. I wonder if that summon gem Lorne gave us has any use. Roxas pondered.
Sora reached into his pocket and took out the blue orb. "We could try."
Since a Persona is just a summon. Fight summons with summons. Or just hit the Persona with its weakness. But Guido's Persona doesn't seem to have any elemental weaknesses from what I can see.
How do you know this? Sora thought.
Had to fight Persona-users a couple times. They're gifted with strong hearts and wills. So naturally Xemnas wanted them for our Nobody army.
Disgusting!
Axel and I failed that mission anyway. We found a Persona user, but she was much stronger than us. So try Lorne's present. Unless you want Riku to be like Swiss cheese.
Sora held the gem to his chest and concentrated. A beautiful blue light surrounded him. Four music notes appeared around him and glowed white. Four cavemen, with matted hair and animal skins, took the place of the music notes. The first had an animal horn, the second a reed of grass, and the third a primitive lyre. The fourth held nothing.
Somehow, their names came to Sora: Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom.
Toot blew into his horn. Whistle blew into his grass. Plunk plunked his lyre. Boom hit his stomach. The music was hardly polished.
"Augh," Guido winced. "That's...so...bad..."
"That's it!" Mickey cried. "A Persona requires concentration to use! Break Guido's concentration..."
"And he's vulnerable!" Donald cried. "Ifrit--"
"Wait, Donald," Urania said. "We can combine our magic."
"Yes!" Clio said. "We can perform Great Magic too. We can fuse three of our spells to make one big one."
"Great," Donald said. "Let's do it."
"Let me help," Polyhymnia said. She waved her wand over Donald. "Spell reinforce!"
"Thanks," Donald replied. "Go ahead."
"Venti, the four gods of the breeze. Heed my call and come to my aid!" Clio cried. "Great Gale!"
"Ye, you shall look upon the calamities of heresy with beclouded eyes!" Urania chanted. "Petro Disruption!"
Donald raised his staff. "I invoke the rites of fiery Muspelheim, and give thy soul up to the inferno's embrace! Ifrit Caress!"
"Tower Inferno!" All three called. A giant pillar of fire enveloped Guido.
When the flames subsided, Guido's expensive suit was scorched and he looked exhausted, but he was still standing. "That might have hurt a lot, if I weren't already dead."
"That wasn't enough to take him out?!" Mickey cried. "Let me try." He levitated himself into the air. "Pearl Rain!" Thousands of Pearl orbs rained down on Guido, who fired at them to dispel them. A few stuck him.
"Very good, Your Majesty." Glowing blue sigils appeared on the ground around Guido. "Now it's my turn. Harken the angel's summon. The true path shall guide you. Find peace in annihilation!"
Brace yourself, Sora. Great Magic coming up. Roxas warned.
"Phantom Destruction!" More dark energy surged through the room, knocking everyone except Riku against the walls.
"That seemed like a desperation tactic," Euterpe commented. "He must be getting weak! Let's keep at him!"
Polyhymnia raised her staff. "Mediarahan!" Sora and his party members were healed, including Sora's summons.
Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom kept playing their simple but cacophonous song.
Guido rapidly fired at Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom. They groaned and slumped. Sora quickly dismissed them.
Terpsichore and Erato cowered behind Goofy's shield. Erato fired several shots at Guido. Guido fired at Goofy, whose shield prevented him and his two companions from getting shot. Terpsichore cast a protective shield spell to further augment Goofy's defense.
Mickey hurled his Keyblade at Guido, which struck him in the back of the head. Euterpe stabbed him in the side with her spear.
Sora reached into his pocket. He meant to pull out the thunder magicite, but his hand closed on the dragon charm from Leon. "Come here!"
Fireworks went off around Sora. A giant green dragon materialized in a cloud of smoke.
"Who are you?" Sora asked.
"My name is Elliot," the dragon replied. "I'm a guardian spirit."
"Like Mushu?" Sora asked. "He was a bit smaller than you..."
"Not quite like Mushu. He's more of an ancestral guardian. I help children in need."
"I'm not a child!" Sora snapped.
"You're too young to vote, aren't you?" Elliot retorted. "Come on. Let's finish this. Climb on my back."
Sora hopped on Elliot's back. Elliot flew swiftly, avoiding Guido's shots. Elliot opened his mouth and let out a torrent of fire.
Guido collapsed. He waved a white handkerchief. "I surrender."
"How did you escape the Cesspool?" Terpsichore asked.
"Hades summoned me," Guido answered. "He said Calamity had use for me."
"Hades is involved? Figures," Sora sighed. "I don't think he likes me very much."
"Understatement of this still-young century," Donald said.
"Guido, why did you try to bring darkness on your world?" Riku asked.
"Light has its place in the world. So do shadows," Guido replied. "You of all people should understand."
"It is possible to escape the darkness. You just have to want it."
"It is not easy for one embraced by shadows to escape its grasp."
"Of course it isn't," Riku said. "But you could do it."
"Hmph." Guido shrugged. "I'm not as young as you. I cannot change my nature so easily."
"You know what Nyarlathotep's promises are worth!" Erato said. "Why support him any longer?"
"Wouldn't be the first time a human made a deal with the devil for an empty IOU. And it won't be the last." A darkness portal opened behind Guido. He bowed deeply and stepped backward into it. It closed and faded.
"Bad man..." Goofy commented. "But good manners."
"So, what exactly is a Persona?" Riku asked.
"Personas are parts of a personality that manifest themselves as mythological characters. They're the blessing of Philemon," Mickey explained.
"Except Guido is different," Terpsichore added. "His Persona is a blessing from Philemon's opposite."
"Guido's gone, but the signature from his Persona isn't..." Riku observed. "And it seems to be a lot stronger."
"Exactly. He's near," Euterpe said.
"Who's 'he'?" Sora inquired.
"The Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep," Urania said. "No point refusing to say his name now. He's already here. Probably on the floor right below us."
Sora felt a sudden warmth in his pocket. He pulled out the summon gem for Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom. It was hot. It had also changed color from blue to dark purple. As he ran his fingers over it, the music notes appeared. Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom appeared, but they looked starkly different. They looked like modern men – thought they still resembled the earlier cavemen -- and wore modern tuxedos. Toot held a polished trumpet, Whistle a silver flute, and Plunk a violin. Boom was dressed in a black hooded cloak and carried a scythe.
"Well, it isn't Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Doom," joked Erato.
XXX
Lionel's front door opened. Jecht came in. "I couldn't find Maia Pleiades anywhere. I went to the camera shop, but Gordon wasn't there either."
"Hmm," Lionel mused. "Kairi told me that Sora and Riku went camping somewhere."
"Both of them disappearing, Chappu reappearing...could it be coincidence?" Jecht asked.
"Let's not jump to conclusions," Lionel said. "Maybe they went into town. I'll just wait."
"So why did you want me to find the Pleiades?" Jecht asked.
"I wanted to apologize to them before I died."
"You won't die."
"Let's not kid ourselves. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in the air. I don't have much time."
XXX
Sora, King Mickey, and their friends descended the stairs to the tenth floor. There was a raised platform in the center of the floor.
Roxas…or at least, it looked like Roxas, stood on the platform. He was dressed in the familiar Organization cloak.
The Roxas thing walked silently towards them, the Oblivion Keyblade materializing in his left hand.
That's not me, Sora. You have to believe me. It isn't me…look, the Keyblade's in the wrong hand! I always carried the Oblivion in my right hand!
"That isn't Roxas," Sora said.
"There's a high amount of dark energy coming from that thing," Riku said. "It's not a Nobody, and it's not human. It's identical to the signature Guido's persona put out."
The Roxas Imposter reached the foot of the stairs.
"Figures you'd take that form, Nyarlathotep." Euterpe said. "It suits you indeed."
"Thanks," Nyarlathotep said. "I like it myself. A little on the plump side though."
How many times do I have to tell people I'm not fat?! Roxas whined.
"Why did you take that form?" Riku asked.
"My true form isn't humanoid," Nyarlathotep replied. "I felt a human form would be more comfortable for you."
"Can't you show us anyway?" Riku asked.
"You'd lose your lunch. Seriously."
Riku growled. "Change forms. Please."
"Why? Because Roxas outdrew you? Or because he's a twisted version of your friend? The friend that you're insanely jealous of?"
"You're two games too late to be tugging on that thread," Riku said.
"Excuse me?" Nyarlathotep asked.
Riku shrugged. "I used to be jealous of Sora, but I'm not anymore."
"That's not what you told Maleficent."
"You…saw that?" Riku asked incredulously.
"So you've been spying on us, yada yada yada," Urania interrupted. "Now why don't you run crying to your mommy like the pathetic little bastard you are?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Nyarlathotep replied. "You're all trying to kill my mommy. That is enough reason to strike out against you. You also beat up my little friend."
"Guido?" Riku snorted. "He's more your personal slave than a friend."
"Do you pity him?" Nyarlathotep asked. "Why don't you put yourself in his shoes, Riku Beechwood?"
"I did wear Guido's shoes," Riku said. "I didn't like them, so I took them off."
"Why?" Sora asked.
Riku gave a small smirk. "Cause they were killing me."
Nyarlathotep shrugged. "Guido was like you, Riku Beechwood. He desired power. And I was willing to give it to him. Through him, I helped the humans in that pathetic world realize their wish for annihilation."
"Your help got him killed...twice," Terpsichore snarled. "You don't help humans at all. You just travel from world to world causing mischief! It was through your help that Maleficent amassed so many Heartless!"
Nyarlathotep smirked. He transmuted into Riku, only with blazing yellow eyes as opposed to blue. "Humans are such sinful creatures. I am merely a mirror of their baser urges, just as my mother is."
"Mother?" Sora asked. "Who's your mother?"
"You don't know?" Nyarlathotep jeered. "Oblivia."
"What?!" Donald and Goofy gasped.
Nyarlathotep turned into a likeness of Xehanort. "Kore stabbed my mother. Darkness poured out of her pierced heart. I was born out of that darkness. Kore would have destroyed me, had she and Mnemosyne not been preoccupied with controlling the immense energy that was also released from my mother's body."
"Change forms, please," Donald complained.
"Would you rather I changed into something cuter?" Nyarlathotep turned into Mickey.
"No!" Donald and Goofy snapped.
"That's hardly...frightening," Mickey said.
"Oh, really? Need I remind you who I am, Mouse King?" Nyarlathotep reverted to his Roxas form and snapped his fingers. "I can make nightmares reality...and your reality a nightmare."
Hundreds of infant mice in blue rompers appeared. "Hello, Pop!"
Mickey gasped. "No..no...NOOOOOOO!" He backed away.
The baby mice ran forward. They bounced off the wall and tugged at Mickey's clothes.
Mickey staggered into a wall. "No...it was just a dream! It was just a dream! A dream! You don't scare me!" Giant sweat drops rolled down his face. "No! Go away!" Mickey passed out.
"The King's biggest fear is baby mice?!" Sora asked incredulously.
Riku kicked aside one of the mice. "Make them go away, please!"
"They're so adorable, though," Nyarlathotep said.
"We can get past you," Sora said confidently. He drew his Keyblade.
Tell him to take off my face! Roxas whined. He's getting it ugly!
"I can hear you, Roxas," Nyarlathotep said calmly. "All too clearly."
"So if you were born out of the darkness in Calamity's heart, does that make you a Heartless?" Goofy asked.
Riku looked shocked. "Did Goofy just make a clever observation?"
"Hmph, I am darkness," Nyarlathotep said. "Which makes me forever tied to the Heartless. I can extract hearts like they can. I honestly thought personally removing the heart from the Princess of Life would guarantee that Maleficent's efforts to open the final keyhole would fail. Had the Keyhole remained incomplete, it would be impossible to seal. I should have stolen all seven hearts...ugh, hindsight."
"You stole Kairi's heart?!" Sora cried. "How...how dare you!"
"Um, instead of yelling at me, why don't take a look at the King?" Nyarlathotep pointed behind Sora.
The baby mice continued to swarm Mickey, squeaking. They pulled his ears, tore his clothes, even bit him.
"They're...eeeevillllll!" Mickey moaned. He was curled up in the fetal position and shaking.
"This is the mouse who destroyed Tyrant Baal once and for all?" Nyarlathotep asked. "Methinks Mickey Mouse's power was overrated! Honestly, it's just pathetic. You're...you're embarrassing me! I'll fight you later!" He vanished in a puff of black smoke.
"Well...that was lucky," Goofy said.
"Too lucky," Euterpe commented. "He's up to something. He was under orders to keep us from the Dainslef...most likely by Calamity."
"Think he stole it?" Riku suggested.
"Nah. Nyarlathotep would have rubbed it in our faces if he had," Erato reasoned. "Something made him leave."
"He's not physically human," Riku commented. "But he's still human in spirit. That arrogance, the way he looks down on others. It's something only humans can do."
XXX
At Castle Oblivion, Hades was currently yelling at Guido. "I told you to stop Sora! What part of that didn't you understand?!"
Guido got down on his knees. "Please accept my humblest apologies, Lord Hades."
Nyarlathotep, still in the form of Roxas, appeared. "Don't be so hard on him, Hades. You couldn't win against Sora either."
"Who asked you?!" Hades snapped.
Nyarlathotep smirked. "So what's your excuse?"
"Main character power," Hades said. "And if he gets the Dainslef, I'll hold you personally responsible. I don't care if you are Calamity's kid!"
"We'll probably go to Plan B on that one," Nyarlathotep said. "I found something in the Seraphic Gate that is far more important to us." He pulled out said object.
Guido arched an eyebrow.
Hades flared red. "Get that thing away from me!"
XXX
Sora and his friends arrived on the Seraphic Gate's eleventh floor.
A young-looking woman stood before the party. Her dark red hair was gathered up in two ponytails. She wore a leather brassiere shaped like a bat and a short leather skirt. Her eyes were large and bright red. A small pair of bat-like wings were on her back.
Oh, holy crap! Sora, run. Don't chat her up, don't look her in the eye. Just run!
Why? She doesn't look so bad.
She might look sweet and cute, but trust me…
"Excuse me," the woman said. "But you're Sora, aren't you?"
"Yes," Sora said. "How do you know my name?"
"How could I possibly forget? You're the bastard who killed my boyfriend!" She drew a spear that dwarfed even Euterpe's.
"I don't mean to argue with you, but I'm not going to apologize for something I have no memory of!" Sora said. "I don't know you, and I don't know your boyfriend. You've got the wrong guy."
No, she doesn't. Her name is Etna. She hails from the Netherworld. And you knew her boyfriend as Saïx…
"What?!" Sora asked. "Saïx?"
"That's not his real name," Etna said. "But you don't care, seeing as you pretended to forget him."
"But he killed a lot of innocent people!" Sora protested. "And destroyed a lot of worlds! I had to kill him to protect…"
"You think I care about that?" Etna asked. "I'm a freaking demon!"
"Um," Sora said, starting to back away. "Would you accept a letter of apology?"
Etna glared. "He and I were going to get married once he got back to normal! I had the wedding planned and everything! I even booked the chapel, ordered the flowers, and hired the caterer. You denied me my dreams, and you want to just write me a letter?!"
Now would be a good time to RUN, you idiot! I'd do it myself, but I can't control the body…
"Um, I'll reimburse you for your wedding stuff deposits," Sora said nervously. "Just don't hurt me."
"I only want one thing," Etna said, her voice getting louder. "Your head! I don't care about our level difference. I'm going to beat the living crap out of you!"
"Level difference?" Sora asked.
Etna pulled up a screen. It read:
Etna/Beauty Queen
LV 1000
Sora/Keyblade Master
LV 99
Goofy/Captain of the Guard
LV 99
Donald/Black Mage
LV 99
Riku/Keyblade Master
LV 99
Mickey Mouse/King
LV 500
Euterpe/Battle Maiden
LV 1000
Clio/The Historian
LV 600
Urania/The Oracle
LV 600
Terpsichore/Lady of the Light Feet
LV 500
Erato/Guardian of the Heart
LV 500
Polyhymnia/Keeper of the Sacred
LV 500
"There must be a mistake," Sora said. "And Your Majesty, why is your level five times mine? I can understand the goddesses, since they're...goddesses."
Mickey looked away and whistled.
Strange music began to play.
"The Etna Boogie?" Urania asked. "This looks like a textbook case of Kefka's Law."
"Kefka's Law?" repeated Goofy.
"Whenever you hear a bad guy's theme music before a fight, that boss is going to be a pain," Urania explained. "There's also the Sephiroth Corollary: if the bad guy in question is a cameo from another game, run away very fast."
"Is she from another game?" Riku asked.
Etna handed him a piece of paper. "My resume."
Riku glanced over the paper. "Let's see. Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. Phantom Brave. Makai Kingdom. Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories. Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness. An anime series and several comic books based on the Disgaea games. OK, we're in trouble."
"At least she's alone," Clio said.
"Am I, now?" Etna smirked and pulled out a cell phone. "Come out, Prinny Squad." Nothing happened. Etna scowled. "I said, get your feathered fannies over here!"
"We're coming, Master Etna!" A crowd of penguin-like creatures ran in.
"So what if you have a Prinny army?" Erato asked. "Sora doesn't have anything to fear from a flat-chested fornicatress like you!"
Etna kicked a random Prinny, which flew up through ten ceilings and into orbit. "You did not just go there!"
"Now you've done it, dood!" Another Prinny said.
"Yeah, say your prayers, dood!" added another Prinny.
To Be Continued