They arrive at the place Brittany wants to take them which is just a little bit out of Lima, once they arrive Santana's jaw drops open. The last time she has been to one of these was with Brittany, and that was when she was ten. That was also the last time she ever babysat her. Santana was pretty sad that day because let's face it, she's always had a thing for Brittany, even when she was a little child.
Santana couldn't believe they had just pulled up to the annual fair. Santana was here, at a fair, with Brittany, just the two of them. This was like a fricken date, except it wasn't and Santana really had to stress that fact to herself. She knew that Brittany had just brought her here to try and cheer her up and it was nothing more then that. Santana didn't even know if she should call them friends, due to the fact that she's treated her pretty shitty since she's been back here.
Santana wanted to say something, she needed to say something but she was in such shock that the words wouldn't come out of her mouth. All that kept repeating in her head were the words Brittany, gay and date. THIS WAS NOT A DATE! Santana had to keep repeating to herself, she knew she couldn't do anything. Yeah she's gay but come on, like she would be interested in Santana. A rude bitch with self-confidant issues. She may be hot, but there's way more to her then that, not to mention all her fucked up problems.
"I don't know if you still like them, but they used to be your favorite when you were younger," Brittany says pulling Santana out of her thoughts.
"I actually haven't been to anymore since you last took me," her eyes practically bulged from her head.
"Really?" She asked in shock.
"Yeah, I guess I never really had time to go after that," Santana says. She looks her with her bright blue eyes that Santana can get lost in for hours. She looks at her with sadness but also care.
"Does that mean you don't wanna go?" She asks a little disappointed.
"No, no! Of course I want to go. I was in a better mood once I first say this place," Santana says quickly trying to get ride of that sad frown on Brittany's face. Anything to make her happy, she didn't like seeing her sad and besides she kind of am excited for this fair. It could be fun.
We got out of the car and headed to the entrance, Brittany had a huge smile on her face, which Santana couldn't help smile at herself. She looked so cute, how she got excited for the smallest things, this is probably why she was Santana's favorite babysitter as a kid, because she was a kid herself. She's always been so free, never caring about what people think or say about her. Yeah she gets sad sometimes when people talk about her... which Santana will kick them all in the ass if they say that again... but she's always just so happy.
Brittany was so excited to be here. She knew she was probably stretching it by bringing Santana to the fair because that was the type of thing you do on a date but Brittany didn't care. She hoped Santana wouldn't either. The one thing that did get to Brittany was that she couldn't do anything about these feelings she was starting to develop for Santana, the girl was straight for gods sake, she had a boyfriend, well before they broke up.
She knew Santana was mean, that she's changed from when Brittany last knew her but that didn't stop those feelings from sneaking up on her. She liked Santana so much, but here she was... stuck, unable to act upon those. Brittany not only wished she could be with Santana but she also wished the girl would open up to her. She wanted to know what was going on in her head 24,7 and why she acted the way she did.
"Where to first?" Brittany asked Santana, since Brittany wanted to make her feel better, she would go on any ride the girl wanted to do.
"We could try the haunted house?" Santana asked. She didn't know why, but she got a thrill out of scary stuff. I could be the fact that she got so scared of everything in the house that for one second in her life she forgot about all the other shit and secrets that she was holding back. For once she wasn't thinking about her problems, she could just forget.
"Haunted house?" Brittany asked with a hint of fear. She hated scary things, she was terrified of them. She got scared just thinking about everything that went on in there. Brittany really didn't want to go but Santana did, so it was time to pull up her big girl pants and finally suck up her fear. "Ok," she said in a small voice.
"You don't sound to thrilled about that, we can do something different?" Santana didn't want to put Brittany in an uncomfortable situation, that's the last thing she wanted to do.
"No, it's fine. I just didn't expect you as a haunted house person," Brittany said trying to cover up her fear.
"Oh no? What type of person do I look like?" Santana laughed.
"More like a roller costar girl," Brittany told her.
"I like those too, we can do that after if you want?" Santana asked Brittany.
"Yeah sure," Brittany said as they both walked to the haunted house. Brittany hadn't even gone in the house yet and she was already scared of the decorations that were on the outside.
Once in the house Brittany looked around and saw nothing but darkness, she tried biting on her lip in order to hold the whimpers that would come out of her mouth. She needed to be brave. Suddenly something big jumped out in front of the two of them and Brittany jumped back and screamed. Santana couldn't hold back a chuckle, she couldn't deny the fact that scared Brittany looked so cute.
"You okay?" Santana said, but Brittany just nodded her head trying to contain herself.
They walked a little faster in the haunted house and saw some pretty nasty and scary things. Brittany was shaking so much from all the stuff she saw but she continued to walk in the house trying to be brave for Santana. Brittany was about to stay something when something dropped from the ceiling and landed on Brittany's head. She flapped her arms and started freaking out trying to get whatever was on her off. Once it hit the floor with a thud she saw it was a rubber spider, the poor girl was so scared she had tears in her eyes and was breathing heavily.
Santana saw this and the sight literally broke her heart. She couldn't believe that she had made Brittany come in here and made her scared out of her mind.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come in here," Santana says looking down. Brittany realizes that she feels bad for dragging her in here and that's one thing she doesn't want Santana to feel today.
"No, it's okay, really. But do you mind if I maybe, hold your hand for the rest of the way," Santana's eyes bulged and her jaw dropped open but she quickly closed it so she wouldn't be obvious. Brittany had just asked to hold her hand, she was in shock.
"Y-yeah," Santana stuttered out as she held out her hand for Brittany. Brittany took it and smiled at her. Both girls loved holding onto each others hand, they fit perfectly together. Right now it was like all Santana's worries had just disappeared out of her and she felt free, she felt safe.
For the rest of the walk in the house whenever Brittany got scared she would curl up into Santana and the girl would just hold her. This made Santana's heart flutter every time. She couldn't help but smile every time Brittany would curl up into her, she knew she should feel bad but holding Brittany made her feel so happy, she could get used to that feeling.
Once outside the haunted house Brittany let out a breath of relief and looked up at the bright sky shinning above them, taking it in. Neither one of the girls realized it but they were still holding hands making their way to the next ride. For the first time Santana felt like she had nothing to worry about, she felt like she could be herself whenever she was around Brittany.
"Are you having fun here?" Brittany asked hoping Santana's day was going well.
"Yeah, it's nice to just get away," Santana told her. "I like how free it feels to just be out here and forget everything that's waiting back at home for me."
"I know how you feel, reality sucks sometimes," Brittany told her.
"Sure does," Santana says. Then she thinks of something, something she's been wondering about. "Brittany, why do you put up with me? I mean I'm a bitch."
"Yes you are," Brittany said bluntly. "But sometimes you're nice, like right now and I like nice Santana," Brittany said honestly.
"Is that the only reason?" Santana was curious.
"No," Because I think you're awesome and cute and I like you so, so much that I want to kiss your face right now and when you're sad or happy... But Brittany knew she couldn't say that. "Because I know you're not all one layer and maybe if you trust me enough I can get to know those layers."
"You like getting to know people don't you?" Santana said.
"Yeah, everyone's story is so unique. I like hearing what people have been through. Everyone interesting and you, I donno, something about you makes me want to know you," Brittany told her making Santana smile. Santana thought Brittany was so smart, everything she said was so well thought out and deep. Santana honestly thought Brittany's brain was amazing, her outlook on life was one of the best things about her.
"You know I never really liked Puck like that," Santana said... Brittany looked at her to continue. "Our deal was that we don't date exclusively. That we can kiss or sleep with anyone that we want, because everyone knows Puck and me don't do relationships," Santana said.
"But you haven't slept with anyone?" Brittany doesn't know where Santana is going with this.
"I know, because honestly I don't want to just sleep around with people or kiss anyone. I want that one person I can hold at night and tell them that I love them. I want... I want to be with someone," Brittany is surprised, did Santana just open up a little bit of herself?
"San that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard," Brittany smiled.
"You're the first person I've told that too," Santana admitted which made Brittany's heart flutter, knowing she's staring to trust her.
"Why don't you let people know that?" Brittany asked.
"Because then I loose my power and I can't do that. Then that will lead to this other thing and people will know I have a soft spot and then they'll find out that..." that I'm gay. Santana thinks but instead she just trails off.
"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are or that you want that connection with someone. Love is the best feeling in the world and if you want it, you should go after it regardless of what anyone thinks," Brittany gives great advice Santana thought.
"I donno, let's just move on ok?" Santana asked wanting to drop the subject now.
"Yeah ok," Brittany didn't want to pry anymore, she had hit a pretty big break though with Santana and that was a good feeling.
Santana knew this was starting to feel like a date but she didn't want to let go of Brittany's hand, nor did Brittany. They knew they should but neither would let go. Something caught Santana's eye, it was cotton candy. She hadn't had it in forever and wanted some but she knew Sue would probably kill her if she ate that.
"You want some?" Brittany asked as she noticed Santana had been staring at it.
"No thanks," Santana said but Brittany could see through her lie.
"You know Sue doesn't have to know that you had just a little bit of Cotton Candy," Santana stares at her confused.
"How did you know that?" Santana asks.
"I didn't graduate 20 years ago, of course I know what Sue makes her cheerio's do, I went to your school too, remember," that was true and Sue hadn't changed to much over the past couple of years.
"Maybe I could have a little bit," Santana says.
"Yey! I'll buy some!" Brittany says excitedly and runs off the buy some for her and Santana. As Brittany ran off Santana had to convince herself that THIS IS NOT A DATE but it was getting harder and harder not to think that. It was getting hard not to shove her to a wall and just kiss her face. Everything about her was so cute, Santana couldn't help those thoughts that ran in her head but she knew she had to push those feelings away.
As Santana waited for Brittany to come back she decided to wait by the bench that wasn't too far away from her. She saw Brittany turn to smile at her and it just warmed her heart and gave her the little butterflies in her stomach. Everything about today seemed so perfect.
She was so happy Brittany took her out to get her mind off of everything. Santana decided then that she needed to go to the bathroom really badly so she quickly sent Brittany a text telling her where she'd be and took off. Once she was out of the bathroom a tall guy came up to her and stood right in front of her face. Santana looked up at him and her face, her mood, everything just dropped.
"Well, well, what do we have here? Is someone on a date?" The guy asked.
"It's not a date, we're only friends," Santana snapped. She wouldn't let him get to her, she couldn't. She told herself to play if off as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Yeah right, just admit that you're gay Santana. You like girls and you're on a little date with one of your dykes right now," Azimio spat in her face.
"Fuck you, you don't know shit!" Santana snapped back.
"How would you feel if the whole school were to find out this information," Santana was dead scared. Her heart was beating out of her chest, that couldn't happen, people couldn't find out she was gay.
"They wouldn't believe you because obviously it is a lie!" Santana told him.
"Please, that whole stunt with Puck, I bet everyone see's through that as much as I do," Santana felt cold, she didn't know what to do anymore. It had to have worked, her plan needed to work.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Santana said.
"Whatever lesbo, watch your back, things could get messy for you," he said with a wink and walked off with his friends walking behind him.
Santana felt sick, like physically sick. She couldn't believe that Azimio knew her secret, how did he even know. That can't get out, it anyone was to find out she would be ruined and everything would come crashing down on her. She shook her head trying to forget it but the thoughts wouldn't get out of her head.
What she didn't know was that Brittany had heard the whole conversation between the two. Brittany didn't want to say anything, she knew that guy was a bully but she couldn't help to think if what the he said was actually true. Was Santana really gay?
No, Brittany thought. He was just a bully and was saying those things to get on Santana's nerves. She couldn't be gay, I mean she had a boyfriend and liked guys. She didn't have a chance with her because Santana was straight. Brittany wished she was, she wished she could kiss her and cuddle with her but the chances of Santana being gay were very slim so Brittany decided not to get her hopes up and just forget about what she had heard.
Brittany came up to her, snapping Santana out of her thoughts. Santana knew she should be happy Brittany came back, she knew she shouldn't let Azimio get to her because he probably just said those things to get on her nerves but Santana couldn't help think about it and just like that Santana's guard was back up. Everything that Brittany had uncovered today and broken down was put back up by Santana closing her off.
"Hey, I got the cotton candy," Brittany said as she approached Santana.
"Great, I'm just going to get fat with that, are you trying to get me fat" Santana snapped, she didn't mean to but she couldn't help it. To say Brittany was surprised by Santana's attitude was an understatement but she figured it had something to do with what the guy said so she brushed it off.
"No I... sorry," Brittany said in a small voice.
"Can you just drop me home," Santana asked.
"Yeah," Brittany was a little crushed, Santana knew she was hurting her and she hated it but she hated herself more at this moment.
They drove in silence for the rest of the way. Santana felt really bad for the way she acted towards Brittany but his words kept running over and over in her head. She hated how she carried this secret over top of her, it was slowly eating her up. She felt that Brittany was the only person she could let in and although that was scary as hell, she didn't want them to loose that connection.
Once they had arrived at Santana house she knew she couldn't let Brittany drive away like this. It wouldn't be right so for once in her life she tried to not let her emotions come out in her attitude. She was going to do the right thing this time because should couldn't lose Brittany.
"I'm sorry, for back there, I didn't mean it," Santana said with her head down.
"It's fine," Brittany said.
"No seriously, I'm really sorry," Santana told her.
"I get it Santana, I said it's okay," Brittany still felt hurt and just wanted to forget about this feeling.
"No it's not. I was a bitch and I don't have an excuse for lashing out on you, I'm really sorry. You were just trying to be nice and I had to be a total ass," Brittany smiled, she knew Santana had probably never apologized to someone before and here she was trying to make up for her mistakes.
"You can make it up to me if you come over this weekend for some ice cream?" Brittany said.
"Deal," Santana smiled. "And Brittany, I had a really good time today," Santana said as she got out of the car and waved to Brittany. Yeah, she was starting to have a soft spot for Britt and this time, she didn't mind.
Ok so I am suffering from lack of fan fiction, cause like nothing was updated today so I thought I'd end your suffering too by updating.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter, did you like it? It's longer! Hope you enjoyed it.