It would help to set the mood by listening to:

2 A.M. by Alexz Johnson

There's Us by Alexz Johnson

I Don't Know If I Should Stay by Alexz Johnson

Pressure by Paramore

(Just in case you didn't notice I love Alexz's songs and her voice is increadable. I also think Paramore rocks!)

Escape

Alice stormed into Edward's room. I halfway had all my stuff crammed into a little duffle bag Edward had bought me; I turned around to face her.

"You have to stay, Bella! Think of Edward and the twins! You're being completely selfish, Bella; they deserve to have a father!" I stood there stunned as Alice left the room crying into her hands, feebly. The muffled sobs faded as she dragged herself down stairs to the empty living room; no one was home yet, Esme was volunteering at the hospital helping Carlisle and Rose decided to stay with the boys; mainly Emmett.

If I stayed here he'd abandon me, leave me, all alone like before. He…he…he didn't matter.

"That's not true," I muttered to myself.

He did matter. He was the father of my children.

I was staid on escaping; I threw more things into my bag at a faster pace. It seemed like the more time I spent here, it grew impossibly unbearable to live anymore. Internally I was dieing of a pre-broken heart. I knew someone I loved would break it again sooner or later; I decided I wouldn't give him the chance. Selfish I may be, but I wasn't about to risk my children getting rejected, having to suffer the same heart break I did.

Alice zipped back into the room. Her arms pulled me into a tight hug.

Alice cried on my shoulder. "I-I didn't want things to come to this point, Bella. I thought I could stop it. I th-thought you'd want to stay. You don't have to leave; it won't do you or Edward any good," she explained desperate to reason with me, trying everything. "Jasper's gone. He-he won't come back; s-s-so you can stay. They'll be safe I promise."

She knew I wasn't leaving for that reason; I had to read behind her words. Alice needed me; if I left I don't think she would be able to hold herself up. We'd both suffered a great deal of pain here in this house. I guess to her advantage she could leave it behind, start all over again. Though, I could never leave the memories etched in my mind or thoughts of Edward that lagged after, where as she could. I had physical proof of his being with me. Alice had memories and thoughts the same; she could choose never to visit of Jasper again. I could never erase his presence off of my life; as I watched them grow boy or girl they'd be a beautiful representation of him.

"Alice, come with me," I said, finally meeting the empty gaze of her obsidian eyes. I could tell that she'd just had her heart ripped out. What Jasper had done really caused her pain. "I can't do this without you," I added. A small, sad smile lightly touched her pale lips.

"I'll go." She nodded.

"Alice, get ready now and I'll meet you as soon as I'm done here. You should go hunting. Then wait—"

"Bella, I know," she interrupted. "Go easy on him; it's going to be hard for both of you. I'll be out front when you finish." She sighed. With a trail of cool wind she'd taken my bag with her and the purr of the Mercedes Guardian faded away as she pulled out of the drive way.

Suddenly, I felt misguided and lost. What would I do with out Edward? I lay on my side, for the time being, facing the expanse of the CD filled wall collection of Edward's; the sun just reminded me of him. I turned my back on the glittering red orb over looking the mountains as it slowly set. Its reflection ricocheted onto the honey colored maple bookcase on to the floor. A tear fell down to the side of my eye, I pushed it away quickly, and then took a deep breath. Composure was key.

Cold, comforting arms completed me as they locked me in place with his chest, his lips at my ear. That familiar scent filled my lungs and in the same way my heart fluttered happily.

"So is this what you do when ever I leave the house? It isn't the most becoming of you to stare at the wall," he said in a playful disapproving tone. I could tell Edward was smiling. I dare not look at his exquisitely, handsome face. "I guess I shouldn't have been away for so long. I think I'll have to make up for that," he whispered huskily, kissing the hollow beneath my ear.

He flipped me over to look at him, when I didn't respond as I usually would with something sarcastic. Indeed, he was smiling at me, his butterscotch gold eyes smoldered. I struggled to look away from his dazzling smile which made my bones turn soft. And I stayed trapped, losing the fight with what I knew was best if I were expected to come out of this in one piece and what I wanted. He chuckled, blowing his sweet smelling breath into my face, sending a wave of blankness in my mind. I wanted to remember some other reaction than the one he expected but I couldn't. Edward leaned closer, our lips meeting gently at first, but then the urgency was made clear as he pulled me on top of his chest, molding me to the hard cast of his body. His hands trailed up and down my sides making me melt into him. My thoughts were at a loss by this point as his hands lid down my thigh tracing tiny circles, but I pressed through Edward's gentle caresses to think clearly. I had to stop this. His lips seemed to move in just the right way over mine, his cool tongue pushing into my mouth. I pushed against Edward's chest, unable to take anymore. He immediately drew back. I sat up breathing heavily, my heart thrumming loudly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice was like coarse velvet.

I shook my head. "Edward, we need to talk," I said, breathlessly.

"What do you want to talk about, love?" He wrapped his arms around my waist again, forcing me to lie against his chest.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly, collecting myself. He waited.

"I can't…stay here. I don't belong here," I explained through the agony. The words burned like acid in my mouth. I couldn't push my voice past a low whisper.

"Where do you want to go then?" he asked, ostensibly open to the idea. "We could always move to Mexico, or Alaska maybe, or how about Canada you've always talked about wanting to go there." He smiled, pleased with that memory. "I know we need privacy, love. It's—" he stopped, reading my face obviously noticing the frown there.

We?

There couldn't be a 'we'.

I forced myself to look at Edward who'd already caught it, confusion clouding his eyes slightly. My voice rose ever so slightly. "Edward, there is no we."

He paused as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing then spoke again. "Bella, what do you mean? I'm always going to be with you." The sureness and resolve in his tone was enough to make me crumble to pieces.

I took another shaky breath I was beginning to feel faint. The room was already spinning around me. "I mean I'm leaving you, Edward. I'm sorry. I can't stay here. You were right your world isn't for me; I don't belong with vampires. I don't belong with you." I felt something tear into me as I delivered what was hopefully my last line and then I heard it. I was sobbing tearlessly. Where did this sudden emotion come from?

I broke free from Edward's hold. "I h-have t-to go," I stuttered.

I hoped off of the bed, walking towards the door, Edward stood in front of me.

"Why are you leaving me?" he asked. I looked into his eyes; they were black with fear. I nearly gave up then but, at the last moment I seemed to gather myself.

"I just told you, Edward, I can't stay here. I don't belong here, you know that," I said seriously and tried to push past him. He held me away from the door and in his arms firmly. I realized Edward wouldn't go without a detailed explanation.

I closed my eyes shielding myself from his hypnotizing gaze—though I mostly feared his pain—no matter what color they were it seemed they always found away to trap me and I didn't want to say the wrong thing now. My feet hovered inches away from the ground.

"I want this to be as painless as possible. Edward, please let me down." The barrier between my tears and hysteria were beginning to weaken; I fought to keep my voice firm.

"Bella, I can't see why. I don't understand. Don't you love me?" His voice was excruciatingly weak.

"Damn it, Edward, let me down," I strained.

He continued to ignore me. "Why? Why must you go? Bella, look at me," he ordered. I opened my eyes knowingly—I knew what to expect, yet I didn't heed my own warnings; the sight broke my heart into a million un-mendable pieces.

Edward's once bright eyes were now swallowed in grief, I felt his heated determination to hold himself together before he finally let me go.

"I've out grown you, Edward. Let me go." These words a million times more potent than acid were like venom trickling into your veins.

Edward looked sick as realization struck him, that he was losing me. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. I could see it in his now cooled soft gold eyes that his un-beating heart had broken underneath the intensity of my words. I watched my love's face crumple in pain. He'd be nothing without me, I thought, how could I do this to him? It was wrong—evil. I was killing my love and reason for living. With that he set me down to the floor; his hands locked around my back grew less constricting then fell to his side. I turned around walking towards the door reluctantly. I didn't want this to be how we said good-bye.

"Don't go," he whispered, feebly. "I love you. Stay." His simple words only but a whisper knocked into me like a battering ram.

I stopped, halted in surprise. He didn't want me to leave. A few tears slipped down my face as I turned to face him one last time, the gap between where I stood and his position across the room was painful. I wanted his arms around my body, hugging, cradling me close to him. I had to be sure of one thing before I left…forever.

"Edward," I sobbed. "Please, let me do this. I'm doing this because I love you and I don't want you to get hurt. I only want one more favor, please," I begged.

"Anything," he said, gasping.

"Stay here…for me?" It wasn't a question even though it came out that way.

"How? How can I? If you leave my world stops, night as black as day. Only until now had I discovered that there was a discrepancy. And you are that difference, you have always been that difference. Please, oh please don't do this to me, Bella. I thought I could take it but I can't. The though of being blind again, Bella, I just can't imagine it."

"Don't kill your self," I said sternly, staring seriously into his tawny eyes. Our gazes locked like fettered chains.

"You are my life, my soul, my everything," he confessed passionately to me. "Love, I need you. Where will you go?"

"I don't know," I answered weakly. "But promise me, Edward. Just keep yourself alive. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened."

"Don't leave," he whispered again. I would stay if he said it again. I shook my head fixing my eyes again on the gold carpet. He came quickly to me, and gathered my delicate hands in his steely grip, closing the gap. Edward then subtly placed his index finger underneath my chin. He raised it so his cold lips were pressed firmly to mine once more.

This time without restraint, I kissed him back, throwing myself into it keenly. I chained my body to his wanting to feel him on every line of mine. His arm tightened around me, as one hand then wove it's self into my long, dark brown hair. I locked my arms around his neck wishing to ever go. I wanted to experience this with him one last time.

I pulled away slowly, keeping the feeling on my lip; stone and marble never moved so gently. His lips were always cold against my warm lips. It felt like heaven when we were so close and reluctant to go, looking into each other's eyes lovingly, only to have impending hell waiting for us in the days to come. The end was excruciating, gut wrenching, and a searing pain that I felt would never go away.

My voice was a weak but satisfied whisper against his lips, "I have to go now." I said this for a final time as I began to break my hold around his neck. I couldn't breathe from the mounting pain.

Edward suddenly gathered me in his arms and hugged me to his chest as close as he possibly dared with what seemed like all his strength but in no possible way could. He said in my ear with smoldering emotion—the pain of loss, sadness, tenderness and most of all heart-ache was even more pronounced now—in his voice, "I'll always–forever–love you Isabella Marie Cullen. Be safe for me, love." He sobbed on my shoulder, left a burning kiss on my forehead, and then finally let go of me.

I watched him, the dawning of grief carved into his features, as he had sunken to his knees detaining himself how I envisioned, doubled over on his hands and knees holding his stomach as if his body wouldn't stay together if he let go, though, he was still falling apart.

I ran out of the room, flying down the stairs—impossibly—without missing a step, to the front door; outside Alice had the car started and purring to life. I didn't feel them coming out of my eyes as I quickly strapped myself in. I tried to banish the vision of my strong Edward on the floor. Just as I was about to tell Alice to drive Carlisle came out of the house, against his own somber expression, hidden beneath his golden eyes he was sad and confused, and accepting my decision at the same time. He nodded and holding my gaze. I then realized he considered me one of his own and leaving then too, would break his heart.

"Go," I droned having left my heart behind in that house. Edward would always have it. It would always be his.

I don't want to confuse anyone any further so if there are any questions as to why Bella is leaving Edward please ask me. Because whether or not that peronson what reviewed my story was right I want everyone to be clear on her thoughts and reasons for everything. Please please please review and tell me whether or no you understand. I love you guys sooooo much.

Lots of love, your devoted writer Tiff

P.S. I hope you like.