Chapter 18
The Very Nature of Friendship
Section Specific warnings: Wheeljack being Wheeljack.
OoOoOoOo
Wheeljack watched Thundercracker nervously pace about the lab, obviously upset. His field was spikey, and broadcasted his distress in a way his body language could not. Wheeljack debated with himself for a moment whether to even ask about it. It wasn't his business and it Thundercracker wanted to speak of it-generally if the mech wanted to talk, he would talk. Generally. Sometimes he needed a little prodding. In his way he was even more of a bottler than Prowl. Whelljack wondered how it was that neither mech had exploded. He was certainly more prone to brooding. "Okay. I will bite it. What's wrong?"
Thundercracker stopped, and looked half surprised, as if he had not even realised he had been pacing. "I-he keeps trying to corner me. He-I have nothing to say to him. I've said that already but he just won't stop. I can't hardly stand to think about it much less look at him. It just-I think of Starscream all over again. I don't want to forget...but being reminded constantly. It hurts." He vented heavily.
Wheeljack sighed, moving closer to the seeker. "Skyfire. Have you thought to speak to your mates about it? They could tell him to back off."
Thundercracker gave him a cross look, "They don't have to solve everything for me. I'm an adult. I can deal with this myself. I just-" his shoulders hitched up, "I just...I hated him for so long. He never could understand that you can't separate Trine. He wanted to take Starscream away from Warp and I. Wouldn't listen. Didn't care. He hurt Scree so badly, and never even seemed to realize what he was doing. Maybe he didn't care." Thundercracker vented hard, "Honestly...I don't think Starscream ever recovered from it. He always blamed himself for the accident. We almost lost him first to the injuries, then to the depression that followed. He lost his place at the academy, because they blamed him. He lost everything he held dear, but his trine...and I don't think that he thought we were enough. Do you understand what I am saying? He loved that stupid shuttle more than he ever loved us. It was painful. Hurtful. Then...frag if the same thing didn't happen with Megatron."
Wheeljack listened patiently, thinking not for the first time that the seeker was surprisingly like Bluestreak at times. "Do you want me to talk to him? I will...but I wonder if it is really Skyfire that you are angry with. Kinda sounds like you are still mad at Starscream to me."
"You'd do that? I mean talk to Skyfire. I just...it's a constant reminder that I don't need. I know I'm still mad at Scree, but there isn't much I can do about that anymore, now is there? I can't very well raise him from the dead and have it out with him, now can I? I wish I could. I miss him so much. I miss them both."
"Thunder-of course I would do that for you. I would think at this point it was clear. You are my friend. Friends do these things for each other." It was nearly a painful thing to watch the surprise and then hope light up the carrier's face. Wheeljack just wanted to hug him. No one should ever feel that surprised by such a small kindness. "Don't worry yourself sick about it. It's not good for the sparklet. I will talk to him. I promise. And...maybe you should talk to a grief counsellor. Eventually. When you are ready. I know it's a hard thing to talk about. I know...lost some friends and loved ones myself. It never quite goes away, but there are things that will help you feel better. And if you don't want to go that route, well you always have an audial with me. I care about you, a lot."
A small smile inched over Thundercracker's faceplates, "I care about you too." His wings flicked, "Never had many friends, never was the 'Decepticon' way."
"You aren't a Con now," Wheeljack added.
"I know, but it is a hard mentality to shake. I still don't know if I'm coming or going sometimes, and I just don't understand you Autobots more than half the time. E-even with the s-spark bond."
"How is that going?" Wheeljack asked, and smiled at the way Thundercracker's wings fluttered. "That well?"
"Better. It's going better. I had my doubts, but I think we-I think we will suit each other well. They really do care about me and the sparkling, and I think-I hope-they will be co creators. It's still scary, I won't lie. The interfacing is good."
Wheeljack snorted, "I can imagine it is. I've heard stories."
"All true, I'm sure," Thundercracker said, field ripe with smugness. "I'm starting to feel like a very lucky mech, I guess. Now at least. My emotional protocols are still all over the place. I can't imagine I'm easy to live with right now. I will be glad when the bitlet is out, and I'm sure they will be as well."
Wheeljack patted his arm, "I know, my friend. I know. It is tough going and it will never really get easier. Relationships are like that."
"I was scared at first that they only wanted me for the bitlet. That they were g-going to take it away, but they aren't like that at all. They care. Sometimes I don't understand how they can. I'm n-"
"Stop right there. If you say you aren't a good person I'm going to drop kick your aft across the room. You are a good mech. You care, and I'm glad that I have had the opportunity to be your friend."
"You know I feel the same way," Thundercracker said.
"Mmmm...I know. Well...enough of this mushiness," he grinned, "the sparkling's frame is finished. Would you like to see it?"
Thundercracker found himself grinning. "You know I would."
Wheeljack led him over to the other side of the lab, to a berth with a cloth draped over it. He carefully pulled back the sheet revealing the frame ready and waiting for the sparkling. "What do you think?"
"I think...I think it's beautiful," Thundercracker said and reached out to touch the protoform. "Perfect."