Sacrifice

The sound of Sam snoring was like a bear hibernating, with just a quick sneak peak his way I could see the big smile on his face. Sam looked like he had won the lottery; I could see his joy even in his sleep. Meanwhile I was sore from back to front, wondering where all my beliefs went. My body was my backstabber, I felt like Cesar as I pulled the knife out of my own back. The difference, I betrayed myself.

I stood up slowly as I made my way to the bathroom, I felt dirty. The shower was calling my name and I longed for the heat against my skin; and the time alone to think about what took place last night. I was already naked but when I looked down I was surprised to see the bruising on my neck, the bite marks on my breast. In between my thighs was raw and red, at the time it was rough crazy passionate love making. However in the daylight it was bruises and pain, it was horrific. The pain was a reminder of what we had done and how we had done it. I had been mated the traditional way and that was the one thing I never wanted. There was however one thing I did always want, Sam.

"Love scars."

I turned to see Sam standing in the bathroom doorway; he was actually in a good mood. The words he just said irked me to no end. The fact that I was naked and he had the right to just invade upon that irked me, but then again there was no longer a reason for him to hold back. The distance between us had been crossed, he had me once which meant now it was expected; we were having sex now. That was a part of our relationship; modesty was no longer existent. I had been had every way possible by this man.

"What did you say Sam?"

"I said they are love scars, reminders of our passion; wolf love."

Those words went all through me but not in a good way.

"Sam I look like I was raped by a gang."

Sam's face curled into a ball; his body tightened and his eyes said that my comment hurt.

"You look like you were mated by a very passionate wolf; now that you have had sex you know soon you will have the ability to shift. That is the difference between us men and you women. We are born with the magic to shift and we give it you females with our love seeds."

"Not every woman can shift after they have sex Sam that magic has to be in your blood already; the sperm just releases it so in that sense were special too. It's not all about your magic sperm. I've even heard of a woman who was able to shift who had never even had sex."

"That is a flat out lie and it's an abomination for you to even say that out loud. I can't have you saying things like that Leah."

"I say what I want, I do what I want and what I want right now is a shower."

I turned my back to Sam as I climbed into the tub; I turned the water on then stood back as it heated up. Suddenly the shower curtain opened and Sam climbed in, he was naked. That long thick dick of his was standing up straight; hard as a rock.

I moved forward towards the water to create space between us, he grabbed my waist from behind and pressed himself against my back side.

"No, not right now I'm still sore."

"I will be gentle."

"Sam, please just give me a little space right now."

"Last night you gave into me and you submitted and we made love and now you push me away again. I'm over the chase Leah; your mine now and I'm not going to beg for what's mine."

"I'm simply saying that I'm sore and as my mate I would hope that you would accept that and wait till I feel better. Do I really have to ask to say no to sex, is it a choice anymore?"

"It's not a choice it's a duty and yes should become your new favorite word. I would do anything for you and you need to do anything for me; no matter what. You have your shower alone, I know how you are and you need space. However tonight I expect two things from you, dinner and sex. You rest for now my love."

Sam moved gracefully and quickly out of the shower and as soon as I heard the door shut I felt free. This kind of love wasn't for me; it took me back to the day my mother left."

I could hear them fighting, I could remember the look of despair on my mother's face and I remembered the last thing she said to my father. She told my dad, it's your choice; you can have me and treat me as your equal or you could not have me at all. My father responded with, I will not have any woman who can't obey me. My mother walked to the door and before she left she cried. It was more like a howl and it broke my heart; I had never heard a sound like that before. She said, you have broken my heart; I wanted you but not like this I can't take it anymore. I can't live as property anymore no matter how much I love you.

My mother turned to me and she put her arms out; just as I tried to run to her my father pulled me back. My father told my mother, if you leave you leave alone. I saw that she was about to let that door knob go and she was going to stay. However after hearing her cries I knew I had to make a sacrifice. Go mommy be free.

Those were my words and I do not regret it because I knew I would be alright and that I would see her again. Here I was many years later and it seemed history had repeated itself. I had a good man, a man I loved but he refused to love me as an equal. Sam was an old dog who could not learn new tricks.

When I returned to the room Sam was gone so I slipped on my favorite jeans and a black T-shirt. We needed to talk about what our next move was; we needed to bring my father home.

I rushed down the hall; I needed to catch up with Sam but to my surprise Seth was coming out of a room.

"Seth, what are you doing here?" Seth wore his hair in a pony tail but I knew it was chin length; I had seen his hair free from the restraints before. He was wearing a black short sleeve shirt and dark blue jeans; and those boots I had secretly liked a lot. They were rugged yet stylish and he always wore that leather bracelet. Seth was sexy yet modest at the same time, that's the look he had and there was something unapproachable about him. He was the type of guy who liked to be left alone and no one knew much about him, Seth was private. Seth was all about duty and his people and doing whatever it took to rebuild that and I could respect that. At least he had a purpose in life and he was devoted to it, so much so it didn't appear he had a social life. Seth looked up at me the same way he always had, dismissive yet nervous if that made sense. I seemed to be someone he didn't really want to deal with.

"Jake decided we needed to stay here; once I told him my sister's plan he said that he had to find her. Jake left and he told me and Embry to stay here and keep watch of Sam and what's happening. I'm going to keep him connected to what's going on here."

Joy set over me in a rush and for some reason I was thrilled that Seth would be here with me; I had come to respect him. I rushed to him and hugged him and he was still.

"Oh, I'm sorry I was just really happy; I don't know it was ah foolish of me to hug you like that."

Seth was reserved and I could not read his thoughts.

"You been mated, I can smell it on you; the shower isn't as strong as my nose. The walls are a little thin as well or it could be I just have really good hearing; you guys kept me up last night. I know how mated men can be and something as simple as that friendly hug you just gave me could get us both killed. So now I need to shower excuse me." He seemed angry and deeply annoyed with me.

Seth moved away from me so quickly my head spun, I watched as the door slammed behind him. Something came over me and I decided to follow him because it was what I wanted to do and Seth was so regal. That was intriguing as well as not being wanted.

Seth was taking off his shirt as I entered the bedroom and he had tossed it on the bed, he looked up at me but he didn't seem surprised.

"You want to break rules; you want to feel free then go skinny dipping or stay out past curfew. Don't follow a man into his bedroom, well my bedroom for now while we stay here at the Cullen's. Don't do it because you're angry that you allowed yourself to be taken the way you were. You got nothing to prove." Seth seemed nonchalant but the way he spoke had a ring of sarcasm and humor, a side of him I had never really seen.

"Why do I make you so uncomfortable Seth?"

"At first it was because you were the biggest pain in my ass. I have to watch over Jake, I'm his beta and I think he was becoming fascinated with this thought. The thought of taking you from Sam and that could destroy everything were working for. I want to re-build my old tribe and Sam giving us a chance here was a start. Maybe in time we could have become a part of his pack or worked together. I didn't want to become enemies with him and you without even knowing it you were causing that."

"You said at first so what is it now?"

"My sister she spoke highly of you and I see you; I notice you more now. You want to be different and you see things differently and you got guts and I respect that."

"That makes you uncomfortable with me?"

"Attraction is sometimes immediate and then other times it just slowly grows and festers; sometimes it can begin before you even realize its happening. You can just suddenly start to like a person. You may not realize it till you hear them getting fucked and you realize it's bothering you."

"I know what you mean Seth, about attraction." I approached him slowly but he began to back away from me and that sent a fire through me. I watched as he shook his head and his eyes seemed pained.

He backed up into the wall, there was no place else to go and his breathing was becoming erratic now and so was mine.

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