A few months later…

Ryan sat on the sofa in Pam's parents living room and leaned over kissing Regan's stomach. The baby gurgled and what appeared to be a giggle came from her. Ryan smiled looking down at her before reaching over and brushing the thick dark brown hair she was all ready beginning to get. She was perfect, in every way. Sitting up, he looked at the clock. He had another half an hour and looked forward to his Saturdays so he could spend a little time with Regan and see how she was doing.

His mother usually came with him but this afternoon she had errands to do. She sent some new outfits for Regan, along with some blankets she had bought. Pam's mother of course welcomed him with a pleasant smile and took him into the kitchen. The same somewhat awkward talk went on between them and finally she took him upstairs to see the baby.

The last couple of months had been long and horrible. Ryan day after day went to work, came home, and just worked towards Saturday so he could see his daughter.

Things had been so weird. He knew everyone was talking behind his back, and the only reason people were nice to him was because it was pure pity. He even knew his mother couldn't believe what a mess he had gotten himself into, worse than even New York.

He really didn't know if he should stay around here. By the end of the year he would decide if Boston would really be the best choice after all. He would see what worked with Pam's parents, maybe decide visitations, and if he could still be somewhat part of Regan's life he would very much want to be.

But be a father? He honestly didn't know.

Picking Regan up, he held her in his arms and smiled.

She really was the only thing he had gotten right in a while.

That's when he heard Pam's parents talking in the kitchen, their voices low.

"He's a complete screw up, you honestly do you really believe he can keep this up?"

"Please, keep your voice down.'

"She was perfectly fine with Jim. He was a good guy, now just because she had this little fling she got herself killed and pregnant by this loser."

"Ryan isn't a loser, he's trying his best can't you see that?"

"You remember the way Pam used to talk about him. How he went to jail…the drug problems! Do you honestly want our granddaughter raised by him?!"

"I told you we would give him a year, he's been following our rules. Coming for his visits. He always brings something for Regan and he's good with her. He's always sending me emails asking how she is, remember last month when he took the afternoon off to go to her doctor visit?!"

"That doesn't mean jack. He's the reason our daughter is dead. Jim was a good guy and Pam broke his heart and shamed him away. How the boy is even able to cope is beyond me!"

Ryan sighed holding his baby, kissing the top of her head the baby thinly cried. That's when he didn't hear anything else from the kitchen. Sighing, he knew they were right.

Maybe Boston would be better after all. He was still putting money away in the bank for Regan, and maybe he could give Pam's mother the account so whenever Regan needed anything she could use the money. He would try to visit…but maybe being part of her life wasn't right.

He hated his life, he just wanted to die…

Just then he heard a noise, a glass breaking and Pam's mother crying out.

"Ah!"

Ryan's eyebrow raised as he carefully held the baby and stood up. Hurrying to the kitchen he froze in the doorway.

Pam's mother was leaning against the kitchen, holding her mouth. Her lip was bleeding and what appeared to be a large handprint was bright red against her face. Pam's father stood a few feet away breathing heavy, his eyes outraged.

Ryan looked as Pam's father turned.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

Pam's mother's eyes dropped.

"Ryan…you better go."

Ryan looked back and forth, piecing everything together. He clutched Regan to stirred in his arms.

"Did you…hit her?"

"Get out you fucking little punk!"

Pam's mother touched her bleeding lip and shook her head.

"You better go Ryan…"

Ryan shook his head.

"No, I'm not leaving my daughter with him."

Pam's father laughed.

"Oh yeah? What the fuck are you going to do about it?"

Ryan walked across the kitchen passing Pam's father, gently using his free hand to take Pam's mother.

"Come on…"

Pam's mother tear rimmed eyes looked up before Ryan gently smiled and lead her towards the back door. Pam's father started towards them, his eyes furious, trying to turn Ryan around his lip snarled back.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?!"

Ryan spun around, his eyes glaring at Pam's father.

The two of them stared at each other before Ryan shook his head, the baby crying in his arms.

"I didn't kill your daughter. I loved her."

Turning, he lead Pam's mother out.

One week later…

Pam's mother nervously sipped her coffee before nervously laughing and brushing back her fallen hair. For a split second Ryan saw the young beautiful woman she once was, and the stunning looks Ryan had fallen in love with in Pam.

Ryan sat across from her as Regan slept in her crib in the next room. The baby monitor between them.

"I honestly don't know why I even stayed with him as long as I did. Good thing we divorced when we did. Sad thing is I thought with Pam's death and the baby…it might bring us together. Give us a second chance…"

"Has he ever hit you before?"

Pam's mother looked at him and he perfectly understood. Nodding he drank his coffee.

Pam's mother then reached into her purse and slid over the piece of paper.

"I can't do this alone Ryan. But I need to know you're serious about it. No more drugs, no running away. You're a father now."

Ryan looked at the paper and slowly reached for his pen.

A little while later, Pam's mother was out back with his mother. Both were having tea and enjoying the warm spring afternoon. Inside Ryan held Regan, sitting in his mother's living room chair. The baby was dressed in a tiny one piece and wiggled in his arms.

Taking one of her little hands he kissed it and smiled.

This would be the first day of their new life together.

"I'm trying Pam…I'm trying."

He whispered.