Well I'm really sorry for this chapter being late, since I had promised that when you guys reached 30 reviews I would update and that's been a week ago, it isn't that I hadn't finished the chapter it just that my beta reader was busy so yea, anyway my beta reader will remain busy for awhile so if anyone would like to be my beta reader please message me b/c without one I can't continue this story anyways, I would like a beta reader that isn't busy as well, one that can edit in at least once a week plez well thx and enjoy

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters

Sesshomaru POV:

I had an uncontrollable desire to rip my claws through the flesh on my chest, but I kept myself in check. Pain-- it was the worst type of pain that I had ever felt in my entire life. I could no longer think straight, for my mind was overwhelmed with such inhuman agony. It was as if someone were slowly trying to pull my heart out from my body, as if someone with invisible hands had gripped my heart and was tightly, hurtfully, squeezing it. I kept this immense pain to myself, and I made sure that no one had noticed.

I walked in front of my pack, showing my authority as alpha, and hid my gaze from everyone. I knew that as soon as I locked gazes with anyone that my mask would fall. I knew where and why the pain had come from. It was the Miko's fault; it was her fault for existing.

Flashback

I stood a few feet from my father, trying to ignore the words that spilled from his mouth. I gazed silently up at the high palace walls, looking at the patterns that adorned them for a distraction. It didn't work.

"Sesshomaru! Listen to me!" I heard my father say. I sighed, turning to look him square in the face. I tried to put all of my anger, all of my malice, into that stare. He didn't seem to notice.

"When a demon finds his soul mate," he continued, "it is extremely deadly if he is separated from her-- It was for this reason I had to leave your mother. Sesshomaru you must understand; I do not love your mother. Our marriage was arranged," The words, no matter how tenderly spoken, were leaden with torture.

"Please you have to understand," my father said to me. I paid no heed to his petty excuse. I could no longer look at him ; he had betrayed mother. And for what? Some stupid wench of a human? The man I had once called father was now a stranger.

"I do not care if you are soul mates with that vile human! The easiest solution to this is for you to kill her." I responded to his stupid reasoning.

"I can't do that Sesshomaru. I cannot kill her… You see... she is with child..." He said his words calmly, reassuringly, but once again, I knew the emotions were fake.

I was enraged, furious; he had conceived a bastard son. My eyes bled red, for I could no longer stand his presence anymore.

"Do as you wish, Father. Just make sure that that half-breed never has the chance of meeting me, because at the first scent of the child, I will kill it." I turned my back on the man I had once called father.

End flash back

I grimaced internally in pain once more. What would I do to rid me off this pain, what? I debated all possible options, and I found the only solution. I would have to distance myself from the Miko as much as possible, and then after my son's birth, I would kill her. My beast growled at me; it seemed that it was enraged that I was going to kill the Miko. No matter; I was the one in control, my beast would not interfere.

"Mama, do you see that? Over the tops of those hills lays our home, Mama! I can't wait for you and me to play in the garden together," I heard Rin say to Kagome. I mentally scolded myself; I would not allow myself to acknowledge her as another being, for if I did, I knew I would not be able to dispose of her once she completed her mission.

Rin and Kag-the Miko- walked faster and soon, the Miko had whisked by my side. I breathed in her intoxicating scent; my beast and I purred in contentment... Before I lost control I regained my composure. She and Rin had gone ahead to look upon our home.

She gazed back at me and tried to lock our eyes, but I could not allow that. So, instead, I put to use one of my many skills; I let my eyes fall on her, and then I looked through her. She froze; she had realized that I had looked through her, as if she weren't there. The way it should have been.

"Mama", Rin said pulling the Miko from her frozen position, "Mama come on. The palace is this way!"

Kagome's once lovely and exotic scent was now laced with such agony that it burned my nose. Hatred like no other filled my being, but, at the same time, an eerie feeling of longing filled my body. The need to reach out to her and soothe her aching soul, the need to stop my cold exterior just for her, was so overwhelming.

I had to do something, quickly, before I lost control and fell deep into my utterly disgusting desires. That's when I realized if she hated me, she would stop perusing me; it would put an end to her clouding my judgment. I had to make her hate me. Simple, I thought. I was proved wrong...

"Miko we will arrive in my home in a few hours, and when we get there refrain from talking to me unless I speak to you first," My eyes, like my tone, were hard and cold.

It had been the most difficult thing in the world to say. I had feared that she would see through my lies, that she would see my deepest desires. However, I carried through with it, not for my sake, but for the respect I held for my mother.

I would not disrespect her memory by loving this human. I would not fall as low as my father had. I wouldn't-- I mustn't.

So here it is, the bad news, one if I don't find a beta reader I won't be able to update as frequent, like maybe once every 2 weeks, also if I can't find one by the end of this month I'm going to put the story on hold b/c I've been wanting to start a new story, two the next chapter will come out when the story has 45 reviews, oooo it might take awhile I see since some of u read and don't review, anyways yea till next update.