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It's the noise that brings me back to here again. I can hear Garcia's voice sounding worried and the mutterings from someone else. I open my eyes just a slit and turn my head in the direction the voices are coming from.

'He's awake. He's coming with me.'

I try to get my eyes to focus properly on what is going on. More people are arriving now and voices; though they are trying to keep them hushed are getting raised in anger. There is one though, one voice which is drawing my attention to its owner.

Floyd.

I want to call out to him, but I don't. I lie there and watch what is going on in the room and I try to listen and make out exactly what is going on here.

'You can't just take him home!' This voice is now raised above the others.

'Try and fucking stop me.' Floyd this time in a low hiss. 'He is mine and I'm taking him now.' And he is walking towards the bed and his eyes are looking down deeply into mine. 'Time to go home Spencer.' But I want to tell him that I'm not ready and just find myself nodding slowly.

'Help me.' I tell him and put my hand out to him. There is some desperate need deep down inside of me which I cannot fully understand yet; a need to be with this person. I know with him that I will be safe. He will look after me.

-o-o-o-

I don't care what this blond woman is saying to me. I equally don't care what the staff are saying. I am going to get Spencer out of this place and with me. Daja can forget the any deals he thought he had. Ambrose can fuck off too. I just want this person with me. In my sight; at all times and I can't do that with him here.

'You can't!' And Garcia, I think that's her name is touching my sleeve.

'I can and I will. Don't touch me. If you want to see he is OK then help me. Getting in my way is not going to help anyone. I'm taking Spencer with me now. Your opinions, anyone's opinions they can keep to themselves. He is mine.' I shrug her hand off me and grab hold of Spencer's arm. 'You're OK with this babes?'

He nods. He looks at Garcia but he nods. He is good with this.

There seems to be a slight problem with his walking. And standing. That woman is still standing there hovering trying to stop me. 'Help me then. You are so concerned about him, then you help me.' She virtually flies forward and one of Spencer's arms is over her shoulder. One is over mine and so it doesn't really matter is he can walk or not. I'll bloody drag his arse out here if I have to.

'You are making a mistake.'

I am told with great authority.

'Fuck off.'

I tell him with equal force in my voice. I'm not going to have people pushing me around anymore. I don't know why it went on for so damned long. This Garcia person and I slowly make our way out of the room.

'You have to sign paperwork.' I am told.

'Screw you.' Is my reply. His head has dropped forwards and I think maybe he has fallen back into that dark place I meet up with him sometimes, but that's alright. He can be there if it helps him heal. As soon as I have him home things will change. I will have the control back again and Daja and Ambrose can fight it out between them. I'm having no fucking part in their games anymore.

The elevator pings and the two of us drag him into the large car. I watch as she presses the ground floor button and we are moving again.

'I'm really not sure this is wise.' She says. I can see the worry on her face.

'I can care for him fine.' I tell her. 'We need to be together.'

'I'm sure this isn't legal you know.' She moves some stray hair off Spencer's face.

'Do I look like I care?' I scowl at her and she looks at me for a second or two and then her eyes go back to Spence.

'You have medical training?' She is looking at my Spencer with a look I don't much like.

'He will be fine and if you're going to talk to me then look at me.' I am though looking at Spence who is in white hospital pyjamas. He will be OK. I have him now. She looks up at me with a frown on her face.

'I can help you.' She looks a bit sure of herself.

'Great.' I respond as the elevator comes to a stop where we need to get out. 'Get me a cab.' I pull Spencer so his weight is on me and away from this odd looking being I am in the elevator car with. 'Now would be good.' I snap and she nods and moves away slowly from us as I begin to half drag him out of the car.

If we are being watched I don't notice. I don't look around to see who is there. My focus is now on getting him out of this damned place without dropping his useless body onto the floor. I am smirking. I know I am. I love him when he is like this. Totally under my control. There really isn't much better. I will explain something to you, cos I just know you're dying to know. Later though, cos I need to get my boy home first. The strange thing is that no one tries to stop us leaving now we are here. I'm certain that telephones are ringing like crazy though. That thought puts a smirk on my face.

She does as she is told though and gets a cab. Then thinks she's going to come along with us.

'No.'

A simple word and all I need to say, but I add

'Fuck off.' Anyway. Just so she gets the message. I lift Spence into the cab and slide in next to him at the back. 'Go away.' I tell her as she moves in again and then slam the door and tell the cabby to just drive. I have no intention of going straight back to the apartment in this cab. I know that blond tart has taken the number down, so I get him to just drive around for a short while. I end up changing cabs three times. They can probably still trace us if they try nice and hard, but it at least gives me some breathing space. It seems that Spencer has been sleeping through most of this. Only awakening to stagger from one cab to the next.

Home at last though. Well Danny's old home and my new one. The place I will care for him and keep those other shits away from him. I drop him down onto the bed and go and get a drink and a smoke. I need to unwind a bit now and so that is why I am standing in the bedroom doorway looking at him.

I just stand and look at him. This is actually something I can do for hours. Just look at him. I know deep down that what I have done here is going to cause a fuck load of trouble. Trouble from every bloody angle you can think of, but for once…but not the first time I've been a selfish prick and done what I wanted and not what I was told. He is dreaming. I can see his eyes darting back and forth under his eyelids and I wonder if I am part of that dream. I crouch there in the doorway with my smokes and a bottle of drink and look at this thing I treasure beyond anything else and I try to figure out exactly what it is about this person which drives me to such lengths and I don't know what I will do when it finally ends or why I let it go this far in the first place. It wasn't like I was told to do this. I went looking for him. I followed him then befriended him when he was still a young boy. I must have seen something then. I had to beg them for this. I had to get them on my side. See my reasoning behind it without them seeing what I had planned for him. They should have known. I've done it all before. They could have stopped it way back then, but they didn't. They let do this and now they don't like it. Not my fault.

I go into the room now and lie down on the bed next to him, dropping the near empty bottle on the floor. I roll him over onto his side and curl up behind him and wrap my arms tightly around him pulling him close. I'm tired again. The day hasn't turned out how I expected it to. I thought I'd be out there trying to get into the pants of some do gooder priest. They will come. Daja will arrive at some point soon. I know it. I need to be properly awake for him. I need to get back what I used to have. For now though I plant a kiss on the back of Spencer's neck and breathe in those special smells.

-o-o-o-

'I couldn't stop him!' Garcia I think has been crying. I don't want to deal with this. I wanted Reid to be here safe when I arrived but that was maybe too much to ask for. 'I got the registration of the cab.' She is muttering, but I know if this Flanders has taken Reid then a cab registration isn't going to be a whole lot of help. 'I'm sorry.' She is saying now, but I can't listen to this.

'Trace it. I want to talk to the driver.' I tell her as I walk towards the elevators. There is nothing I or anyone else can do until we've found where Flanders has taken him. Until then I need to sort things out with Sam. God I am so tired. I feel so empty and numb to it all now. Too much. Just too much. The elevator doors slide open and I walk into the lone comfort of the small car. I push my hands through my hair and try to make myself look reasonable, but I don't think I'm making too good a job of it. When the doors slide open again I am relieved to see that the place is quiet. Quickly I walk to where Sam was yesterday and I can see Johnson standing outside with a mug of coffee in his hand. He looks and me and nods and I nod in return. 'How is he?' I ask him.

'He is a lying little shit.' Johnson takes a drink from the mug. 'But I think he can leave now. The question is where he will be going to. I think the Child Protection lot still want him going to a foster carer of some description, though who in their right minds would take Sam in, I don't know. Sorry sir. I didn't mean that to sound offensive.'

I frown slightly. I know what he means and I don't know who would be able to cope with the child.

'He needs twenty four seven supervision.' Johnson says and I nod at him.

'I thought I could help him. I wanted to help him. If he goes into care, even at his age then it is the end.' I scratch at my neck as I try to work out what to do. I took the boy on as my responsibility and I'm not going to just give up on him. 'Maybe he needs to spend some time in a rehab centre.' Really I am thinking aloud but it still seems like the only logical direction to go in at this point. He needs to be somewhere where he cannot get his hands on narcotics and obviously he is getting them from somewhere. 'I need to talk to him.' I tell Johnson who just nods at me again and moves slightly out of the way so I can enter the room Sam is in. Just before I open the door I turn to him again. 'See what places are available for him please.' And once more that tight Johnson style nod and he is walking away. I push open the door and walk in. Sam is sitting on the edge of the bed looking grumpy so I just go over to him and sit down next to him .

'I thought you wouldn't come back again.' His voice is low and almost conspiratorial.

'What you did was very stupid Sam.' I tell him, but I find my arm has wrapped around his young shoulders and I am pulling him close. 'Where on earth did you get that stuff?'

He sighs, but I feel him relax against me. 'I got it from some guy outside the school. It didn't cost much really. Not for what I thought it was.'

'How much?' I ask him. I close my eyes and listen to his small voice.

'I was pretty desperate though. You know? I really needed something and he didn't really hurt me too much. He was sort of gentle I suppose, but…' and a longer deeper sigh this time. 'He didn't use protection and I was sort of worried about that.' I close my eyes tighter against the images Sam is giving me. 'Just him and a couple of friends. It seemed OK when it happened. I didn't think anything was wrong really, but I dunno. They didn't give me what they said they would so I guess I was fucked in more ways than one.'

I don't know how many times I've gone over this with Sam before. I have talked this over and over with him, but he still can't see why he shouldn't be behaving like this. 'Maybe it was something you needed to learn.' I say gently to him. Damnit I don't know what this child does to me. I should be angry. I should be shouting at him. I should be doing something other than comforting him. I know I should be, but I can't stop it. The way he leans on me pulling in all the comfort and love I am willing to hand out and I know, don't I, I know that this is just his way of getting out of trouble once more. 'I am going to book you into a clinic for a few weeks Sam.' There I've said it now. It made my head spin and made me feel sick but I said it anyway. 'Johnson is looking for somewhere.'

He is pushing away from me now. 'What do you mean?' And I look into those deep dark eyes and I try to find defiance and anger and all I see is sadness.

'You need to be somewhere so they can help you. I can't help you Sam.'

'Help me with what?'

I turn so I can see him properly. 'With your issues. The drugs. The other things.'

And still I am looking for anger. I can cope with that. I can deal with that, but not this. Not the look of horror he is giving me. The look of betrayal. 'You said you'd look after me Aaron.'

'It's all part of it Sam. They are professionals. They can help you.'

He pulls his legs up onto the bed and pulls the hospital gown over his knees and curls up into a tight ball on the bed. 'I thought you liked me.'

Damn. The child is crying. I know it's false. I know he is playing his little game but again I am pulled straight into it. I reach out and touch his shoulder. 'I do like you. I like you a lot. That's why I care.' And I do care. I do like him. In a way I have a greater bond with Sam than I do my own son. I reason that this is because Jack has people to love and care for him. Sam has no one. Only me. I need to get out of this room. I can't think straight when I can see those eyes and that slightly open mouth. I can't get my head straight if I can see the tears. Quickly I leave the room and stand outside leaning on the wall. What the hell is going on?

-o-o-o-

There's one born every minute. Aaron is one of them. Damn him. I don't want to go to no freaking clinic. I like the life I have with him. He is so damned easy to manipulate. How he ever got to be the boss of those BAU guys I don't know, but man, I can't go to a sodding clinic. I need to work him a bit more. Pull him in deeper. Things were going OK until those bastards sold me some duff shit. OK didn't sell it to me as such, it was more of a trade and one I am more than willing to conduct again, but next time I will make sure I get the right stuff. I was fucking stupid. Damnit all; first I get lumbered with Johnson and now this! I lie down on my side and make a big deal of crying and sobbing. I'm sure he must be able to hear me. They must be able to hear this racket on the next damned floor. Why isn't he coming back in again? Shit. Come on Hotchner I need you. I need to be with you slowly taking from you your sanity. That won't work if they try to "cure" me.