Author's Note: Hello. I'm getting through this really quickly because I just did what I call "Lightning packing" which is basically packing a bag in less than fifteen minutes. Woohoo.

Chapter Nine

She knew she shouldn't have been looking at is phone, or even be tempted by it.

But that curious pit in her stomach egged her on, telling her to look.

As his phone vibrated for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes, she finally picked it up. She found a slew of text messages, all from Tiffany.

Hey, Toby, I've been thinking a lot about your whole dilemma. We need to talk.

Toby! You need to text me back! You can't just ignore what Chanel told you the other day!

Toby, if you don't tell Spencer about what happened, I guarantee someone else is going to tell her and she'll be really upset.

If you don't tell Spencer, you're going to hurt her! She'll find out eventually.

Toby, freaking text me back! You can't ignore me!

Fine, I see that you're just not going to answer, but you need to tell Spencer about Chanel dropping the l-word on you. It's a big deal, especially since the only person who should be dropping the l-word on you is Spencer!

You're going to hurt Spencer! Don't be stupid about this, Toby!

Spencer tried to process what these urgent texts all meant. The l-word? Chanel said she loved Toby?

Spencer's blood became cold. Why would she say that? When did she even get the chance to say that? Toby ripped up her phone number. When did they meet up?

Above all her other thoughts, one poignant, fearful thought racked Spencer with nervousness throughout her whole body.

Did he say it back?

Toby walked in and found Spencer sitting at the island in their kitchen. She had a glass of red wine to the side, but she was absentmindedly staring at his cellphone, which he had left there by accident. He could tell something was really wrong.

Spencer didn't move or even flinch when he walked in. Toby was almost scared to say something to her.

"You left your phone here this morning," she said, her normally soothing voice harshly cutting through the silence. She was stoic as she took a drink of wine. "Tiffany kept texting you throughout the day. It was almost obsessive," she added calmly.

He didn't even question her picking up his phone. "What did she want?" he asked, a lump rising in his throat due to his nervousness.

"She wanted to talk to you about Chanel."

He felt his heart race. He really hoped she didn't find out about—

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Chanel?"

Damn it.

"I…I don't know," he choked out. Spencer let out a small sigh before she looked at an imaginary chip in her nail polish. Toby dropped his things and sat down next to her. "Spencer, she doesn't matter anymore."

Spencer let out a sardonic laugh. "Toby…don't tell me that. I know you want that to be true, but you don't have to pretend. She was your first love, and I know that your first love always has a little piece of your heart," she replied. He wasn't quite sure whether she was sad about this or accepting…or both.

"She doesn't have to have my heart. I want you to have all of it," he replied sheepishly.

"I'm not mad at you about it. I'm just a little sad that you felt you couldn't tell me."

Clearly, it was bothering her more than she was letting on.

He took her hand. He felt her get a little uncomfortable at that, and it honestly hurt him. "Spencer, nothing really transpired at that meeting—"

"Toby, she told you she loved you," she answered sadly.

He thought about that for a minute.

"I only told you that a month or two ago," she said.

Before Toby could process what was happening, Spencer had already gotten her coat and her bag. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going out. Clearly, we both need time to think," Spencer explained.

"Are you coming back?" he inquired nervously.

Spencer saw that he was scared. After a moment of staring, she nodded. "I just need time to think. And I think you do, too."

With that, she was out the door.

Spencer walked into the bar, shaking water droplets off her body. She was hoping to find a certain hazel-eyed brunette.

To her discontent, she had already clocked out. She was really hoping she could interrogate Tiffany on what Toby had told her.

She decided that it was probably for the best that Tiffany wasn't there; maybe ignorance was bliss. But still, she wanted so badly to know every single gory detail. She hated to admit it, but she was jealous.

Of what, she wasn't sure exactly. She knew Toby loved her, but…Chanel had some kind of quality that was just kind of mystifying about her. She was just charismatic in a subtle way.

Why was she saying this about someone who would want nothing more than to steal her boyfriend for her own? Spencer suddenly felt ridiculous for thinking of Chanel in this light.

Deciding not to waste the trip to a bar, Spencer flagged down the bartender and ordered a cocktail, which she drank quickly before getting something stronger.

She finally noticed a blue-eyed blonde sitting on the other end of the bar, about four or five stools away. It was pretty empty, being relatively early in the night. She finally realized this girl was the devil she was just speaking of.

"Spencer?" Chanel asked with eager surprise in her voice. "I didn't expect to see you here!" she exclaimed.

Spencer forced a fake smile. "Neither did I," she said rather glumly with mustered enthusiasm. She quickly threw back a shot, the liquor burning down her throat. She ordered two more.

"Are you looking for Tiffany?" Chanel asked knowingly.

Spencer looked over her shoulder at Chanel cautiously. "How did you know?"

Chanel shrugged. "Sometimes I used to go to her for advice on things involving Toby," she said nonchalantly.

Spencer turned to look at Chanel. "What makes you think I'm here because of Toby?"

"Why would you come here to talk to her? I just remember that when I was having issues with him, I'd always go to either Emily or Tiffany for advice, since the blonde didn't like me much," she explained.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything. I just wanted to see Tiffany."

The two shots quickly arrived, and she downed them just as quickly as the first.

"You must be in a lot of trouble," Chanel commented.

"Please just leave me alone," Spencer said bitterly.

"I'm just trying to help you, girl-to-girl. You drank those pretty easily. You and Toby must be having serious problems. What is it about?"

"You!" Spencer snapped in the heat of the moment. "I know about you saying that you loved him."

Chanel didn't really have an explanation for this. She flagged down the bartender and ordered shots for the both of them.

Toby bit his lip as he waited for Emily's reaction.

"What do you want me to say, Toby?" Emily asked finally.

"Something comforting?" he pleaded. "Anything?" he added, finally.

Emily sighed. "I'm not going to tell you that you didn't screw up; you did. But not for going to meet with Chanel. That was a mature, adult thing to do. What you screwed up on was not telling Spencer the moment it happened. If you had been honest from the start, none of this would've happened," Emily said.

He nodded. "I know. I messed up; this is all my fault. But I don't want this to ruin our whole relationship. What should I do to prove to her that I made a mistake, and I love her?"

"Well, she's probably feeling jealous right now, Toby. Another woman told you she loves you. It's not some casual crush or anything; she actually loves you."

Toby sighed sadly. "Thanks, Em. You didn't need to rub that in."

"You wanted my honest opinion! Spencer is going to be jealous, which means you really need to articulate how much you love her and care about her. You need to tell her how much you appreciate her presence in your life and how much you need her. Girls want to hear those things. She won't leave you. But if you want things to be the same as they were, you need to talk to her about this, because that's what mature adults do. You can't just push it under the rug."

Toby sighed, but nodded acceptingly. He contemplated some grand gesture of love, so Spencer would know just how much he cared about her.

Emily took a sip of her coffee as she watched him think. She smiled thinking of all the creative, fun ways Toby could (and probably would) apologize.

And that soon made her think of something else.

Finally, logic caught up to Emily, and she was reminded of another dilemma.

"What are you going to say to Chanel?"

Toby sighed just thinking about Chanel. He didn't hate her, per se, but there was bitterness left in him for the way things ended between the two of them. She didn't even have the decency to tell him in person; she left a letter, like a coward, after she had taken all her things with her. He didn't really have any hopes to talk to her again.

"What do I have to say to her?" he asked pessimistically.

Emily scoffed. "Toby, you have to talk to her. If you don't, she'll continue to have festering feelings for you. What happens when those feelings turn into something more and she decides she wants to try her hand at playing the homewrecker?" she asked.

"I'm not going to let that happen," he insisted.

Emily smiled at her friend's naïveté. "Beyond the breath, there is no control. You can't say it'll never happen, because what if it does?" she inquired cleverly.

"I don't want anything to happen between me and Chanel, though!" he exclaimed. "What do you think I should say to her?"

"If you want my honest opinion," she began, dragging out the words for eternity to torture him, "I think that you need to let her down gently. You don't want to turn her into that jilted lover who will try to kill one of you or both of you because she didn't get her man. Let her down easily. But you still need to make it very clear that you have no aspirations to have any connection to her, whatsoever."

"Do I need to do anything else, Doctor Emily?" he asked playfully.

"Buy Spencer flowers, because she deserves them, and if you're looking to apologize, that will certainly soften her up a bit, though you make her soften up a lot already," Emily teased.

Toby nodded with a smile. He was suddenly feeling a lot better about this whole thing.

Maybe things with Spencer would work out, and there would be no need to repair his heart once more.

At least, he hoped so.

Before I get reamed by anyone, I want everyone to understand that Spencer and Toby are in a very odd position with their relationship right now, so if you were hoping Toby would seriously confront Spencer on what he saw, I'm sorry, but I feel like he would be a bit reluctant to ask her. And I think first, he has to know WHAT exactly she was crying about! I promise, there will be some sort of confrontation on this sometime in the future :)

mickeymack16: I know! I'm so sad. But he probably won't be in the finale, due to Keegan being in NYC for his off-Broadway show. On the other hand, I'd totally love to see him (being as I live an express bus away from a venue where he will be quite often :) ). And I don't think I suck, but my English teacher's philosophy on writers is that people who tend to have excellent grammar are not as obsessive (since they're too busy checking for grammatical errors). But I seem to be doing really well in his class! So far the lowest grade I've gotten on an assessment has been a 95. And read the next reply and I'll explain that Jesus outburst.

Sarah: There are too many similarities between Jesus and Toby. I mean, yes, carpenter brought back from the dead, and aside from that, apparently, they're both lambs for God and Spencer, respectively. Does that mean Spencer is God? I wouldn't be surprised. And thank Julien for the Bee In The Curious Hive. I'll admit, I doubted him at first, but now it's stuck in my head. And I didn't really get to choose the song, that was what my choir was singing. It actually went really well, and I'm glad I have a really loud senior in my section who knows what's going on with everyone. Her name is Noa and my choir teacher says that one day, I'm going to be Noa, so I'll take that as a very good compliment (she really is a very good singer).

bluebird10023: Hmmm...let me think about...nah.

Spobyluver39: It was pretty sad when I was writing it. And I agree. Poor Spence :(

Spobyforever259: To start, a lot of things are wrong with Andrew. And can I just say I love you describing characters? You should really do it for everyone. Tiffany. Go!

AL3110: There is this one character who is going to get pregnant. I can't tell you who it is, though!

Sylviecake231: Ugh...what could you NOT listen to by the amazing Marina Diamandis, AKA Marina and the Diamonds? Well, I wouldn't suggest listening to Mowgli's Road, because it's kind of freaky unless you really understand her style. Some of my personal favorites are: first album would probably have to be- Hermit the Frog, Girls, Guilty, Oh No!, and Seventeen; second album- Lies, Starring Role, Homewrecker; I also really love her song Electra Heart :) How to Be a Heartbreaker is great, but she's so versatile. I don't think I dislike any of her songs. And her covers of Boyfriend (JB) and Starstrukk (3OH!3 ft. Katy Perry) are great. I'll admit I'm not really a fan of either original artist, but Marina makes them amazing.

Girlz-Rule: Yes, trouble is a-brewing! You'd better come back to find out what happens next!

SpobyTreegan: No, Toby knows about her son, but he doesn't realize how much his death still torments her. I think in the last few chapters of Begin Again, Spencer and Toby talk about her son.

Addictedtospoby: Ah, I try not to keep you guys waiting for too long.

vondydora: I think that Andrew is just a very insensitive person. And I think that Aria has the best intentions, but she just has a very different tactic of dealing with this situation and Spencer. Toby will not just ignore it, but I think that there's something yet to happen (or just happened in this chapter) that will change the dynamic between the two yet again.

Is it too much to hope for that I get 105 reviews? I would love that so much! So I definitely can't update tomorrow (I'm coming home and right after I come home, I'm going to visit my uncle in OC, so that'll take a while. I'm going with my BFF Michelle, who I've mentioned a zillion and one times). I can try to update on Saturday, but I don't promise anything. I know one day over the weekend, my grandma, uncle, Michelle and I are going out for my grandma's birthday, so that should be fun. I think I've just delved into my personal life like wayyy too much, but I feel really comfortable around you guys! You're just so awesome to talk to!

See you next time! -Kayson