Chapter Ten
Memories always keep me grounded. They haven't always been the most reliable, but I trust Katniss when she tells me if it happened or not.
Every five to ten minutes she takes out the compass and compares it to the paper map that I handed to her. After a while, Cressida asks the question.
"Why not turn on the visor map," she says.
"The secondary mission objective has been removed, they are trying to get us to the primary mission objective," says Katniss.
"Old habits die hard," I say. "Plutarch being the gamemarker and trying to get to go to a specific place, or to do a specific thing."
I feel a drop fall on my arm. My eyes widen as I look and see it is bright red.
"Katniss the zone is activating," I yell out.
She turns around and waves us to make a dash for the hovercraft that has just come into view. Everyone makes a run for it. I grab April who was covering our rear.
"No need, run," I yell at her. She digs into the ground and starts to make a run for it. I see Katniss there waiting for me by tree. I see a couple more dots of blood on her skin, and know that it is beginning.
"Run Katniss," I say to her.
"No," she says shaking her head. "Won't leave you behind."
She told me once that she felt so guilty for leaving me behind when we ran from the mutts. She grabs my hand and we start to run. In front of us is Liam and April running, Liam behind April. Cressida and Pollux are almost at the hovercraft as I see the root systems of the trees are sticking up.
We jump over the roots and find that one catches my foot as I trip and fall on the ground. Katniss stops and helps me up.
"Come on," she says. I see her and I can see the blood color rain covering her shirt and mines. The forest begins to blur. It must be the effects of the rain.
They made it, I say to myself as I see Cressida and Pollux go into the hovercraft. They pull Liam and April inside, as they wave us to hurry up.
My legs begin to slow down and I push myself to continue walking at least. I grab her hand which is now drenched in blood and slippery. My breathing is heavy and my eyes start to blur and come into focus. We pull each other to the hovercraft that is now a couple of feet away.
Finally I see Liam's hand which I reach out to. Once our hands meet, he violently pulls us into the ship. We fall on the ground with a loud thump.
"Quick, get their clothes off of them," someone yells out.
I turn and can barely see her there still holding my hand, her eyes closed. That is when I close my eyes and can feel myself drifting off.
I look around and find a familiar sensation as the electrical current freezes my muscles. I see her being taken by Capitol soldiers head hangs low.
Where am I? I look around and find the smooth concrete walls of the detention center. No, it can't be, it isn't possible.
I feel the violent tensing of my body from the electrical charges. They last longer and longer between each interval. The door opens and there I see him. Those glasses are unmistakable, that evil smile cuts through me a quickly as I put up my defenses.
"Been a long time Peeta, where have you been hiding?" he says.
The face of my tormentor stands before me and all I can do is close my eyes mumbling, this isn't real, this isn't real.
"No no, this is very real," he says. "Open your eyes; I have a surprise for you."
As I open my eyes, I see it in the dim lights of the cell, the sharp point, the green color, the plunger in his fingers. The vial is the same as when I was tortured all these years ago.
"Turn on the electrical field," he says. I brace for it as I know what is coming. The current grabs me and holds me there motionless, not even my screams are able to get out. All I see is him placing the point of the needle on my heart. The cold sharp tip is laid there looking for the perfect spot. He stands up the needle and with all my strength I try to stop him, but it is no use.
The stab on my chest and all of the sudden everyone is around me.
"Peeta," someone says. "It is okay, it is okay, you are in the hovercraft. You and Katniss passed out when you got inside.
I look around and see them all there with the exception of Katniss.
"Where," I try to say. "Where is Katniss?"
"Uncle Peeta, we can't get her to wake up," says Liam. "It took an hour to get you to wake up."
I sit up and can remember the time we say Beetee and Wiress drenched in this red liquid, they were in a catatonic phase and even then it took a while for Beetee to come back.
My entire body feels like the energy had been sapped and I am running on empty. I see her a couple feet away from me, and I make my way over to her. The pain in my muscles is so severe that I grimace as I slide over to her.
She lies there, motionless, but I can see her chest rise and fall as she takes a breath. I grab her hand and rub it with my other. Leaning in to her ear, I whisper.
"Katniss," I say. "It is time to wake up. We still have a lot to do, still have so much to see."
She lays there, no reaction to what I just said. I kiss her on her forehead. Her head is a lot warmer than usual. Her body must be fighting a fever. The feeling of not being able to do anything is enough to break me. I can still remember seeing her there in the Capitol hospital after the fire bomb sent us both flying.
"Uncle Peeta is Aunt Katniss going to be okay," says April concerned.
She sits there looking at me wishing that everything would go back to the moment that we had in the train. I never wanted this for them, to steal their innocence with the Games, with the violence of the old Capitol.
"You remember those stories right? She is the Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion. She is a fighter April, she will not go so easily," I say reassuring her. The faces of everyone else look at me, unsure of what our next step is going to be.
Her compassion has driven her here to the hovercraft that Gale and Johanna took without permission. They caused us to come here, and I don't know if I would have done the same thing if she wasn't here.
How could someone still wish to have someone in their lives after they caused them so much pain? It is what really defines her. She had always told me that she is a person who doesn't forget nor forgives, but I think of me, and how she could be with me. I did try to kill her, not just once, but twice. She still stood and waited for me, she still knew that I was in there. She told me that she had hope that the boy that gave her the bread was still in there.
It took me a while and a lot of fighting but I finally can feel that I am almost the same. The pain of it though still haunts me, how I was unable to stop my hands from placing them around her neck. It still brings tears to my face. She can't go, I think to myself.
I turn around and look at her there.
"Come on, sweety," I say. "I need you to open up your eyes."
It can't be like this after all we have been through. If she hadn't waited for me, she would have made it before. If only I hadn't tripped and fell. Why do I cause pain and hurt to everyone that I touch.
I fix her hair slowly caressing her face. It reminds me of the time she was hurt in the cave, all because of me. The pain of seeing her there so helpless, is enough to engulf me in sadness.
I grab her hand and place it on my cheek. It is still warm to the touch. I have to trust that she is still in there, fighting to come back to me.
"You can't leave me," I say lowly. "It is you and me..."
The feeling of losing her is too much. We had finally made it to a place where we were happy. We made it to where we could trust each other. The times we spent in the forest, we have finally found each other. I cannot bear to think that of a world that does not include her.
"Against the world," I hear her say hoarsely.
I open my eyes, and see her eyes have opened. She tries to muster a smile but is too weak to do so. I smile but can see that she it still frail and in pain.
"Hey hey hey," I say. "You gave us a big scare. Sorry you gave me a big scare."
She rubs my cheek with her hand. It is our way of telling the other that we are okay, and to not worry.
"Trying to grow it out?" she says finally cracking a smile.
"Well you did say you liked it," I say following her humor. She smiles and I catch her hand which feels very weak. I rub it in my hands, and although her eyes are open, I still feel the fear of losing her, choking my throat.
She tries to sit up, but is clearly unable to.
"Easy, easy," I say. "Liam, Pollux, help her sit up."
They both come and grab her by the arms, and help her sit up. She lets out an anguish cry and I know that she got the brunt of the blood rain.
"Did we ever find out what that was, and how to counteract it?" I say looking back at them.
"Speaking with Plutarch over the COMs he wasn't too happy that we had disobeyed the President," says Cressida. "Especially by the way she talked to him."
I turn around and look at her. Remembering the conversation that she had over the COMs, it leaves me with a shock face. Leave it to Katniss to argue with the President of Panem. To the one person that holds all the cards. It doesn't surprise me though she did upset Snow and then Coin.
"The President? That is who you were talking to?" I say.
She shrugs it off, as if she was arguing with buttercup.
"He doesn't understand loyalty," she says. "Paylor did, she understood war."
I turn back to Cressida, caring more for her well being than the politics of war.
"Did she tell you what it was?" I ask again.
"A strong neurotoxin that freezes the muscles," says Cressida. "Its effects are short term and you should have a free range of motion in a half hour or so.
Relief is something that I feel, although the guilt of causing it in the first place is still there.
"Next time," I say grabbing her hand. "If I tell you to run, you run. No arguments. I can't be the reason...I mean how could I live with myself."
"I am sorry," she says. "I couldn't leave you."
She leans in and I do as well, just there staring deep into her eyes.
"Did I tell you today..." I start to say.
"No, but I already know," she says. "You know that I..."
"Yes, I suspect I do," I say.
She starts to move her arms with more control. It seems like the fog; the fact that all we needed to do was to remove the clothes so that it didn't penetrate our skin and do more damage.
You can still hear the rain outside, so it hasn't been an hour yet. April brings us some clean clothes that they found in the hovercraft. Funny that it is Gale's and Johanna's, and the only thing that we can assume is that they went out in their clothes that they were wearing in the Capitol.
The hovercraft is very simple and militarized. There are only a couple boxes there that are empty, more than likely it would be weapons and food. The atmosphere is more relaxed than what it was a couple minutes ago. They all sit with their backs to the wall looking at us, looking for direction.
Looking at the shirt, I can see his name etched in the arm.
'Hawthorne'
I slip it on and can see that Katniss is still too weak to put on the shirt. I walk over and help her place her shirt on. Once we are fully clothed, I stand and get the guys to help her get up. She still has to rest on top of the wall of the hovercraft, but at least she is getting stronger.
Once we get comfortable they hand us some dry food that was in our packs. The taste is horrible, enough to make you want to throw up. The after effect of the rain I suppose, it reminds me though of the cave.
"What I wouldn't get for some of your soup," I say smiling.
"You know what?" she begins. "I agree. This tastes awful."
The rain drops lessen and we all look to each other as to wonder if the end of the zone is near. We all start to get ready for the trek outside.
"What's the plan?" says Liam.
"We find their trail and follow it." I say.
"Uncle, from what I have learned he hunted with Aunt Katniss, what if we can't find his trial?" asks April.
There it is the pink elephant in the room. Everyone had to be asking the same question. Why would he leave, I mean what would cause him to leave? If he doesn't want to be found, I doubt we would find him.
Katniss nicely says.
"We will find the trail."
"But Aunt," she refutes.
"We will find it," she states a little bit more firm. "April, we will find it."
The emotion is still there, it is still raw. The anger that she showed, is only fueled by the fact that we almost died because of him.
I stand, a little wobbly, but still under control. I walk over to her, holding onto the wall as support. Once I am there I stick out my hand. She looks at it, a little unsure.
"What if you can't support my weight?" she says.
"Come on," I say.
She slowly sticks out her hand and as soon as the tips of our hands meet, she slides it in more comfortably. I brace myself and lift her up, until she is standing in front of me.
"Can you walk?" I say.
She nods.
We slowly walk to the front of the hovercraft and close the door.
"What?" she says.
"Are you okay?" I say.
"Yes," she says frustrated.
"Katniss, why are you so angry," I say.
She sits down and looks out the window. Obviously she does not want to talk about it. I sit down next to her; she looks at me and knows that we promised each other that we wouldn't keep anything from each other. It was the way that we were finally healed.
"I mean, we are out here..." she starts. "You almost...and I almost, and for what, obviously he left because of what happened. I am mad at myself for still caring..."
"Look, we will find him," I say. "I know you are worried, he means a lot to you."
She looks at me, and I know that although it was years ago, she will always care about Gale. I really don't know how to explain it, but although I know that she loves me, and wants to be with me, I have to accept the fact that she cared for Gale back when I wasn't there, back when we were just kids.
"We will find him," I say to reassure her.
"How do you know?" she says.
"Because," I say. "Well because you found me and didn't give up on me."
She looks outside and sees that the rain is clearing up. I reach for a button and turn on the wipers to clear the windshield. You can tell that the sunlight is quickly disappearing and then where would we sleep. Is it safe to sleep in an inactive zone? What if the animals are freed to roam through the zones but the environmental are still restricted?
I can tell that she is looking at me, so I turn my face as our eyes meet. Those beautiful grey eyes that can steal my thoughts and keep me hostage all day.
"Why are you so good to me," she asks. "When I did nothing to deserve it?"
"I am only trying to do what is right," I say. "If it was me leading this group, I don't know if I would have gone after him."
"I know you would, even against everything inside of you," she says.
"How do you know?" I say. "When I really don't know myself."
She looks at me, almost like she knows something about me that I don't know.
"Because you have too much of your father in you," she says. "Who else would continue to trade honorably with the man who stole the woman of his dreams?"
The thought brings me to a memory that I haven't thought of. It was when I was younger. I can still remember my father trading with Katniss's father. It was the right thing to do, he would tell me years later when I asked him.
"But he married the woman that you love," I say.
He smiles as he kneads the dough on the prep table.
"Well love, has you do things that do not make sense to everyone, only to the one who does it," he says. "If I truly loved her, and I do, I would want her to be happy above everything. Me giving him the right deal is allowing her to live and be happy."
Looking at her, I smile.
"Do you really think so?" I ask.
"Hmm hmm," she says. "You have a lot of great qualities from him. Our children would be lucky to learn them."
The words that have escaped her mouth are almost as if a dream. She quickly recovers.
"If we were to have any children," she says.
I grab her hand and smile, kissing it.
"Maybe someday," I say.
There a door knock, and I stand to open it. The strength in my muscles is definitely coming back, and I can see Katniss is standing much quicker than before. There stands April with a concern look on her face. Katniss knows that she meant well and that she feels awful because of it.
"April, I am sorry about before," says Katniss.
She smiles and responds. "It is okay, I know you are under a lot of stress."
Everyone is putting on their packs and picking up their weapons. We join in and begin to get mentally prepared for the trek. Pollux turns on his visor and checks outside conditions.
"All normal," he says. "No rain."
Pressing the button to unlock, the door slides open and there the forest looks eerily quiet. We start to make our way out, one by one. This time Liam is taking point as Katniss is still recovering from the neurotoxin.
We stop at the nearby path and stoop down. She touches the ground and smiles. Turning around she looks at me.
"Tracks," she says "Heading that way, no more than a couple of hours."
Seems like the blood rain isn't like regular rain, it seems to only affect people and animals. It doesn't wash away any trails or stick to any foliage. It is like it never happened, although my muscles sure remember it quite well.
We are walking as quickly as we can. The plan is to reach the kill switch and see if Gale and Johanna are there. If they are not, we will trek down to the beach to avoid the insects of that zone.
Walking along the tree line we look at the sun slowly descend below the trees. The electronic map would be useful if it wasn't tainted by the blood rain.
I stop, stand from my crouch position and look up, as I hear something oddly familiar. It is almost like a dog who hears a sound that only he hears it. I look ahead and I see Katniss doing the same thing, looking around trying to catch where it is coming from. Everyone else is still in their crouch position walking until they start to notice us standing.
We both hear it again and now we both start to walk towards it. I can hear her, doing the same thing that I am doing right now. It comes with years of hunting, you get use to the sounds of your partner removing an arrow from sheath that sliding sound that the shaft makes on the sheath. The unique vibrating sound the string makes as an arrow finds the notch on the string.
Everyone follows slowly behind us, not really questioning where we are going but trusting us enough.
A sharp snap and before they can even react, Katniss and I have an arrow drawn pointing in the same direction. Finally the different tones the string makes as you pull back the arrow.
"Really...you taught him our call signal," says a voice questioning.