A/N: Another chapter! YAY! Thank you Charahkids for being my beta! and thank you for all who have read the story and follow it. Personal thanks to reviewers is of course below.
Chapter 10
Dropping his phone on the bed after disconnecting with Sarah, Chuck closed his eyes, blocking out the sunlight that filtered through his curtains and let his mind wander for a second. Not focusing on anything in particular. He hated lying. He hated secrets. And he especially hated lying and keeping secrets from Sarah, especially when she knows he's doing it and he still refuses to come clean.
But he couldn't do it. He couldn't let her be burdened with his misery when she was in such a dangerous situation. He wanted to keep her safe, and while he was miserable and being bullied here at home without her it was nothing that he couldn't survive. Couldn't handle. He's dealt with bullies his whole life and this was nothing.
Though if he was honest with himself this was a whole new level than he was used to. For one he hadn't been molested by past bullies, but at least he hasn't gotten any wedgies or swirlies. He figured when that happened it would be about the time he should tell at least Beckman about it, or at least call Casey.
Letting out a deep breath and holding it out until his lungs burned with the desperate need for air, Chuck finally reopened his eyes and gave the camera in the corner one last glance before finally sitting back up and stepped out of bed.
He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he grabbed some clean boxers and a shirt and headed for the bathroom, ignoring the delicious smell of coffee coming from the kitchen that was beckoning for him to go there instead. But he knew there was where Ellie was and he quite frankly was not ready to talk to her yet about what had happened last night.
Closing the door he turned on the shower to let it warm up and stood in front of the sink. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and felt a pang of sadness at his appearance. He barely recognized himself. He could see his face had gotten thinner, and his skin seemed paler than usual since he'd been spending all his time in a bunker. He could see the stress and exhaustion in his eyes that he felt throughout his body. He hoped this mission would end soon.
He took his time in the shower, feeling his muscles and skin tingle happily as the hot water cascaded over his body. Lathering himself up with soap he felt as if he was cleaning away all the secrets and lies, all the bruises and imaginary marks that he could feel all over himself. He was starting fresh only for it to come back as soon as he left the soothing water, but he enjoyed for the moment and felt a smile upon his face. He stood there for an indeterminate amount of time until finally the water began to turn slightly cold and he was forced to exit and start his day.
Chuck walked back into his bedroom in clean boxers and a white undershirt and glanced again at the camera like he did every morning since it was installed before moving about to get dressed for day. Looking at the clock finally as he buttoned up his Nerd Herd shirt he internally groaned at realizing he was ten minutes late from meeting Agent Coleman out front and quickly bent down to put his converse on and tie them.
With a final swipe of his hands down his shirt to smooth out any winkles, Chuck grabbed his phone from the bed and headed out of his room and down the hall quickly.
"Hey you." Ellies voice stopped him as he passed the kitchen, coming to a complete stop. "How are you doing?"
Chuck back tracked the few steps passed the entryway and spied her leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in front of her sipping it.
"Hey Ellie, what's up?" He asked her nervously, hiding his cringe and berating himself for not using the Morgan Door.
"I don't know, you tell me." She said, taking another drink from her mug. Chuck shrugged his shoulders nonchalant, hoping that she would drop the entire subject but knowing she wouldn't. Ellie placed her mug down on the counter and crossed her arms over her chest expectantly, ever patient.
He tried not to make eye contact with her, knowing that she could probably wrangle out the answer if he did. She had nothing on Casey in interrogation so he kept his eyes looking just passed her and hoping she wouldn't notice. The silence stretched out between them and it seemed as if Ellie wasn't going to leave it without some kind of answer.
"I just…It's nothing Ellie, I'm sorry." He stumbled bleakly, knowing that his sister would not leave it at that either. She quirked her brown at him and shifted to her other leg.
"It didn't seem like nothing to me Chuck. It looked anything but." She said. Chuck didn't have a response for her, his mouth moving up and down like a fish but no sounds would come through. Ellie waited for his reply but none was forth coming and they stood there in silence for several moments, until Chuck glanced down at his watch and noted the time.
"I'm really sorry Ellie but this is going to have to wait, I have to go." He said and began walking away but was stopped by her hand on his forearm.
He looked back at her and felt his stomach bottom at the look of love and concern that was written so plainly across her face. And he was going to lie to her, again. He would always lie to her now. There was no way around it, but he kept his mouth closed for the moment.
"Chuck, seriously. You come home after we haven't seen you in weeks and have an emotional breakdown on our couch. Something is wrong." She accused, gazing hard at him and gripping his arm tightly. He couldn't return her gaze and instead stared at her hand where she gripped him, holding him in place when all he wanted to do was get away and get the day over with.
They stood in silence for several more moments, the time ticking by slowly as it drew out. Ellie finally released her hold on him and dropped her arm to her side as she continued to stare at him worried. She sighed wearily once she realized that no answer would be forth coming from Chuck and he felt an ache inside his chest at knowing that he was causing Ellie, the woman who had essentially if not completely raised him.
Even when his mother was there she wasn't always actually around. Always preoccupied with work, on the phone, looking at paperwork. Chuck remembered the sometimes strange people that would show up at odd hours to speak to his mother. And most importantly, the long absences throughout the 9 years she was there, the longest being the last one where she had yet to come back from.
Through all of that Ellie was there for him making sure he was up and off to school, fed and lunch packed. She checked over his homework and made sure he was bathed and put into bed on time before waking up the next day to do it all over again.
He knew it all began when he was really young but he knew the sacrifices she had made for him. How she could have been out with friends or on school functions but instead decided to stay home with him and take care of him and when their father was around, take care of their father as well. He still felt guilty, even years later that she had missed her junior prom because he had gotten a bad case of the flu and her senior prom because he had broken his hand and needed to be taken to the hospital. But she never grumbled or complained, though he knew how much stress it must have been for her.
With those memories flying through his mind at top speed, and seeing the concerned look on her face, he hated himself more at that moment for all the lying he's had to do, especially now when all he wanted to do was have her wrap her arms around him again like she did last night and comfort him, whisper that everything would be alright and believe her.
"I'm sorry Ellie, I have to go." He told her finally, still not meeting her gaze and he rushed passed her and to the door. He grabbed his keys from the bowl that sat on the table and exited the apartment, not looking back to see the hurt expression that he knew was on his sister's face.
Closing the door firmly behind him he closed his eyes tightly against the bright sunlight that smacked him in the face and grimaced as he took some calming breaths to sooth his beating heart. The day was starting off bad and he'd only been up for a little over an hour. His mind felt scrambled as he mentally grasped for something solid in hold on to only to find nothing and he felt lightheaded.
"It's about time, what took you so long." Agent Coleman's voice sounded and grated in his ear and he grimaced once more before finally reopening his eyes.
Agent Coleman stood there by the fountain, dressed in her typical short skirt and tight blouse, arms crossed over her chest with an annoyed look on her face. To protect his cover with Sarah they've been meeting outside the apartment and carpooling that way, even though Ellie and Devon knew and believed that the people living in Casey's apartment were his family. Still, Chuck felt it was easier and needed less explaining if they weren't see together much.
However now it was blown out of the water as Agent Coleman reached out and grabbed the same arm that Ellie had released just moments ago and looped her arm in his elbow and leaned her head on his shoulder with a flirty grin. He looked at her confused for a moment as she tugged him along out of the courtyard, panic coursing through him as he spotted Ellies shocked face at the window of their living room as he left.
He felt the heat rise up his neck and onto his face as he imagined what Ellie must be thinking right now. What she saw. He could only hope that it didn't end badly for him and that he can convince her that what she saw isn't what she thought. Or something like that.
Chuck shook his head, clearing the cobwebs and confusing thoughts as he was shoved roughly into the passenger's side of Agent Coleman's car, hitting his head on the top of it as his tall frame hunched into itself once more to fit in the seat. He looked up once more to see Coleman give a small cringe at the mark that was developing on his head from the frequent head bangs and it confused him. Normally she would grin like the Cheshire cat, enjoying the pain that she frequently inflicted on him.
This time however she smoothed his hair down onto his forehead soothingly before closing the door and walking around the vehicle to get inside the driver's seat. He watched her warily as she turned on the car, revving the engine and bracing himself as much as possible for her to fly out of her spot. However the expected lurch and belt burn that he had come to know didn't come as she pulled out slowly and pulled out onto the street.
Chuck didn't say a word, afraid to break whatever peace was between them for the moment as they drove toward the Orange Orange. He kept his eyes straight ahead watching the car in front of them as the Agent followed at a safe distance, or as safe as any Agent would follow as they trudge the morning traffic to work.
It felt like it took hours to get to the spy base instead of the twenty minutes it actually was, and as the Agent pulled up into the spot behind the Orange Orange, Chuck couldn't help but sit there for an extra moment or two longer as he waited for whatever was about to happen to happen. But to his surprise, and alarm the Agent just gave him a large smile and patted him gently on his thigh, causing him to jump slightly at the touch bumping his head once more on the roof as she exited her car.
He sat there for a few moments longer as Agent Coleman stood at the door waiting for him to follow. Reluctantly he unbuckled his belt and got out of the car, closing the door and followed. He jumped slightly as she ran her hand down his arm in what would normally be a comforting manner but coming from her after everything she'd done to him left nothing but alarm in its wake.
They entered Castle's main room and he stopped as Coleman walked around him and towards a computer console nearby. He hesitated, debating if he should say or do something before heading back to his secure little corner but decided against it and began heading down the corridor, only to be stopped when Agent Coleman called his name.
"Can you come here please?" She asked him standing next to her empty chair. He approached her apprehensively and waited for whatever to happen to happen. "You're good at computers right?" She asked him. Chuck just nodded his head. She gave him a kind smile before indicating he should sit in the chair in front of the console that she had claimed as her own all this time. He did so hesitantly, Coleman lurking a little too close to him for his liking. He inhaled deeply trying to calm his nerves, readying himself for whatever she would dish out to him but all he got was a whiff of her perfume that smelled very familiar as it was the same one that Sarah preferred and it made his heart ache slightly missing her presence.
He sat in front of the computer, not touching it as he waited for her to tell him what exactly it was that she needed from him. She crowded over him, invading his personal space as he once again bunched his long body together as close as he could to take up as little room as possible and avoid touching her, but no matter how much he did she would just crowd him more. Finally she hunched down, giving him a clear view of her own assets as she pressed some buttons on the keyboard and brought up a search engine that he recognized as the CIA's.
It was a comprehensive search engine only used by the higher ups in the government, normal people such as agents and civilians like him didn't have access to it, and according to Beckman shouldn't even know that it exists. He'd had used it many times in the past few weeks, seeking out information he received from his flashes. It was the only reason he was allowed to, because of the Intersect in his brain Beckman informed him that there really wasn't anything that was on the server that he didn't already have in his brain and the president had granted him permission himself in order to conduct analysis.
But Chuck didn't think anyone other than Beckman and the president knew that he could get into it and his heart raced at top speed, causing his nerves to tingle as he saw the presidential seal turn on the screen and the blinking of the login plate waiting for his input. He felt his face begin to flush and sweat start beading on his forehead as he waited for her instructions, deciding to play ignorant to what he was seeing.
"This here is an intelligence search engine." She explained and moves the mouse the select the login user name.
He waited with baited breath as in what seemed like slow motion, she leaned over him and the keyboard and began typing in some login name and password. Seeing that she didn't expect him to use his own secret credentials, he let out his held breath slowly as oxygen entered into his starved lungs. Bringing up his left hand, he wiped his forehead with the back of it, feeling the moisture come across it as he rubbed it off on his pant leg, feeling his hands begin to get clammy.
"We've been trying to locate someone but we've been unsuccessful." She told him standing up again. "But maybe you'll be able to be more successful."
"Wh-who are you looking for?" He stuttered looking up at her for the first time. She gazed at him hard, studying him and Chuck felt as if she could see right through him and read his mind and see his inner workings, but then she blinked and turned away.
"We are looking for this Agent, named Bryce Larkin."
Chuck's eyes widened as his body felt as if someone dumped a bucket of ice water on him at the sound of Bryce's name. Red flags drew up in his head and vision that something wasn't right and he stared straight ahead at the blinking line in the search space, afraid to turn to look at Agent Coleman.
"Chuck?" She asked him, giving him a nudge with her hip. He shook his head lightly before finally turning his eyes away from the screen and looking up at her questioningly. "What is it?" She asked.
"Nothing. Nothing absolutely nothing. Bryce Larkin? Uh…what are you looking for him for?" He stumbled, taking deep breaths and trying to calm his racing heart. He had no idea who this woman really was and he was alone with her and didn't want to raise any suspicions about him. Even if he needed to defend himself he knew he'd already fail due to her being a girl.
"He stole something really important and we've been tasked to bring him in." She explained stepping back a little which gave Chuck some relief. "Problem is, his covers been deactivated and he's been proclaimed dead."
Chuck's eyes widened once more as he realized who Agent Coleman really was and what they were after. She was a Fulcrum agent and she was here to find Bryce Larkin and to find the Intersect. His mind raced with that knowledge and his first instinct was to call Sarah. He wondered if she would allow him to get up and use the restroom or something so that he could do just that but he was glued to his spot as she reached over from behind him, arms wrapped around his neck as she began typing into the keyboard.
He tried to hold his breath, not liking that this woman was using the same perfume as Sarah, not liking that his body reacted in any sort of way to it. Her arms were heaving on his shoulders and her breath was warm against his cheek as she turned her head to look at him with that flirty grin she tended to have and it took all his will power not to turn his head to look back at her, but stare directly in front of him at the screen.
After a few seconds the computer beeped with a result and Bryce Larkins CIA file came up on the screen. On one side was a series of pictures through his years of being an Agent. They all looked official, probably used for the file and his access badges. On the other side was his stats and information, links to reports he's filed and mission statuses through the years. He wanted so badly to click on them and read them. To learn all he could about his former best friend's time in the CIA, something he's thought a lot about since he was sent the Intersect. But he knew he had to play it cool, had to play ignorant as to not arouse suspicion until he could call Sarah.
"If he's dead than why…"
"Because he's not really dead Chuck. You see your partner, John Casey was the man who shot him, killed him. But he didn't really die, you see. We have ways of keeping people alive who have use for us and Bryce Larkin was one of them." She explained. Chuck looked at her then, not able to stare at the stoic expression of Bryce any longer.
"Well if you had him what happened?" He asked, knowing full well what happened next.
Agent Coleman stood up then and turned away from Chuck for a second. He was glad, grateful, even for the bumps that appeared on his skin as the cold air of Castle engulfed him completely again. He turned in his chair to watch her as she turned back to him once more, an angry look upon her face.
"He got away that's what happened. The enemy got their hands on him and he's been hiding in their ranks ever since. Its imperative that we locate him." She said determinedly. Chuck just nodded his head in agreement, not quite sure what else to say.
With that he turned away from her, looked panicked for a moment at the computer screen before he began typing so more. With two weeks practice Chuck was well versed in the working of this search database and was able to navigate along it like a pro, much to Coleman's delight. She stayed by his side the whole time, watching with rapt attention as he searched for Bryce in the system.
However nothing he did was bringing up results, much to both his dismay and delight. He didn't really want to find what they were looking for, obviously not wanting to betray his friend but he couldn't think of a way out of it without putting him, the real Intersect in any more trouble. Luckily he didn't seem to have to worry about it as the CIA must have known that eventually someone would come looking for him and didn't put any link from his new cover to his profile.
He heard Coleman's frustrated sigh next to him a few hours later as he yet again hit a dead end. He paused his fingers from their typing to look at her to see her scowl down at the computer. Letting out another annoyed huff Agent Colman reached over in front of Chuck and turned off the database. They had been searching for at least four hours and nothing had come up.
"I'm sorry." He said in a soft voice, not wanting to make her angrier but not able to take the silence that surrounded them.
Agent Coleman didn't respond right away, just staring at him for a moment contemplating something before she finally sat down for the first time in the chair near him. He resisted the urge to scoot his chair a bit further back from her as she leaned over with a sad smile and held on to his hands. He felt his hands clam up immediately as he fought the urge to tug them free from her tight grasp, but she didn't seem to notice as she leaned closer to him.
"It's not your fault Chuck, you tried." She said comforting him. "You got a lot further than we ever have." Chuck quirked his brow slightly but quickly turned it back to its lax position the best he could.
"Us? As in Agent Leyan?" He inquired. Coleman nodded her head answering.
"He's my partner. We thought the answer would be here, in this base but it's not. I was sure if anyone could find anything it was you; I told him that since the beginning." She told him, giving his hands a tight squeeze to which Chuck luckily hid his grimace.
"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but thank you for giving me a chance to." He said and stood up from the chair, taking the moment to get away from the Agent in front of him. But she held on tightly to his hand even as she continued to sit. Her gaze was focused on one part of his body suddenly and he felt heat rise from his neck and up to his cheeks and he tried to gently get away.
His squirming brought her out of whatever trance she was in and she looked up at him, eyes heavy as she licked her lips seductively. He looked away from her and down the corridor towards the secure room he should have been in already doing dailies and wished that he was there now instead of in the current uncomfortable situation he found himself in.
His brain worked quickly as he finally disentangled his hands from hers and backed away a bit, scooting the chair he'd been using in a bit so no one would trip on it.
"I'm just going to, you know-" 'Call Sarah!' his brain supplied as backed up a bit. "Get back to my own work that the General assigned. You know how she can be." He stumbled hitting the table behind him hard as he turned quickly around.
Agent Coleman let out a light laugh as she stood up and walked over to him. She looped her arm through his quickly before he could protest and leaned in against him till she felt her breath once again on his cheek.
"I think it's time I give you your reward for helping me and being a good little asset all this time." She whispered to him and let out a giggle. Chuck let out a strangled smile as he tried unsuccessfully to get her unlatched from his arm.
"Oh we'll, I'll accept a thank you in less pinches really." He suggested helpfully, causing her to laugh again. He didn't quite get it, he didn't understand what he was saying that she was finding so funny.
Without another word she held tightly to him and walked with him down the hallway. He let out a sigh of relief believing they were going to his secure room where he could contact Sarah and tell her to send help immediately. That he was stuck in Castle with a Fulcrum Agent and they were after Bryce Larkin. But at the last turn Coleman went left instead of right and stopped in front of a door that he recognized as a supply closet.
He knew this one well as it was the one that he and Sarah used, unofficially, whenever they were trapped in Castle for long periods of time, or just whenever Sarah needs to let out some steam. Or just whenever let him. It was a private place, probably the only one in Castle aside from the bathroom as there was no security camera in there.
With that thought dread and fear took over Chuck as he watched her open the door then shove him in, closing the door behind them.
Sarah couldn't sleep. She didn't know why, well. That's not true. She knew exactly why. What she had learned earlier that day from both Beckman and Morgan has bothered her greatly and she held in all the anger that she just wanted to release. More specifically on the Agents who were currently taking over her base with her asset.
She couldn't believe what Beckman had said, how she knew who they were. She couldn't believe that they would put Chuck in such danger and she was never more glad that she had been prepared for him in case he needed to get away.
They had spent the rest of the day shutting down the operation and getting ready to leave. They already had their flights back to Burbank scheduled for the day after next and she had packed up her suitcase and cleaned the room ready to go the second she could. And thankfully the others were as well as she learned.
She had tried to call Chuck all afternoon, but he hadn't answered. She had checked the security feeds for Castle and his house and didn't see him there at all and she wondered if perhaps he took the day off and was out with Morgan.
She grabbed her phone off the bed side table and brought up the GPS tracking app she had installed on it and looked at the dot. According to the GPS in his watch he was still at the Buy More area, and his phone location was the same. She thought about hacking into the other systems but decided against it, giving Chuck some privacy for at least a little while.
She ached to call him again, to have him answer and to hear his voice. To apologize to him for getting all worked up earlier and explain to him that she's just worried and scared. To hear that he was safe even with Fulcrum Agents running around so close to him.
As if on cue and he was reading her desperate plea her phone rang and she knew it was him. She smiled down at her phone for a second expecting to see his smiling face, but frowned when it came up unknown.
"Hello?" She answered hesitantly. There were no sounds on the other line at first and Sarah strained to hear if someone was on the other end. "Hello? Who is this?" She asked again and waited.
Her heart beat rapidly at the inhalation of breath and what sounded like a muffled sniffle and she knew who it was right away.
"Chuck?" She asked desperately, waiting for him to answer. When none came she tried again. "Chuck is that you?"
Another deep gasp and a slight clearing of a throat was heard before he replied, not making her feel any better at all.
"It's me." He croaked.
"Chuck, what's wrong? What happened?" She asked him alarmed. But no reply came. Only sad desperate sobs that broke her heart. She listened to it for several moments before she got up from her bed begun getting dressed. "Chuck." She said desperately.
Finally a loud sniff could be heard and she hears that he was trying to get his breath back. She didn't know what would cause him such distress but she vowed that she would hunt down what or who caused it and break them till they hurt more than Chuck at that moment.
"Sarah." His hoarse voice came through again, and Sarah listened with abated breath. "I think you need to come home."
A/N: So, I'm aiming to get one more chapter out than I'm afraid there wont be an update most likely until about the 6th or 7th of May(maybe a few days later.) The reason is the Kentucky Derby is next week and I normally work about 60+ hours and wont have any time or mental capacity to write. Of course I say this every year. Though if i HAPPEN to write something of course I will post it.
sevenrez: I totally agree with you. I really feel that those who overcome the angst in their lives are the strongest people out there. Its why I love to read that stuff and I can't help but write them. I'm glad you are enjoying this.
Neale: I promise a happy ending.
knightrid3r: I try to come up with original ideas. I try to think of what most people would expect and go eleswhere. There is so much about Chuck and his world that could be explored and I feel that most stick with cliched storylines. I'm glad that I seem to be keeping chuck how he would be on the show. I like them being true to themselves. Thank you for reading!
Nomadic Nerd: 1)While I like Beckman personally, I understand how Chuck would be afraid to tell her, to complain to her. Afraid of what the alternative would be. 2) Oh don't worry. I already have the ending battle between Sarah/Coleman. And its beautiful. 3) Yeah i didn't think that one through, I'll have to come up with some logical explanation and put it in an upcoming chapter lol. Thanks for pointing it out though!
Wade1978: I always thought Chuck would wilther in a bunker. He's too much of a butterfly.
noblz100: Oh don't worry. What I have planned, she's coming out in full force...er...you just gotta be patient.
phathead01: Yes, I'm sad that they left but what can you do. I'm not going to change my writing and my story to please people, I'm going to write what I want to write and go where the story directs me. And if people like it, I'm glad, if not *shrugs* your loss. And to be honest, have you seen my other stories, its pretty obvious what my main genere is lol. I'm glad you are enjoying it and I always look forward to reading your reviews. Its followers like you that I know I'm doing alright and whose opinions mean the most in any case.
batty02: Yes, I think my next story will be a nice vacation piece. Or maybe i should write a littel sabatical in here. They definitely deserve it! thanks for the idea!. I can put all that mushy 'romance' stuff people keep wanting in!.