Big thanks to the really great reviews – one and all- I can honestly say they helped this very tardy, pathetically slow writer, strive to write a little bit faster and better with each new posting. Roz.
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. The Effects of Gravity Chapter 10 - Stubborn Sam"John, does Jim know yet?" asked Jennings as softly as he could not wanting to put more pressure on the man. Still there were people out there that needed to be told about Sam, about the events of the day, sooner rather than later. In their small tight community of Hunters this news would be telegraphed rapidly and all that knew John and his boys would share in the loss.
"No…not yet," answered John. He couldn't meet his friend's questioning look, his brow knotted in a frown as he stared out into the distance as they sped back to Farnborough. With a tired sigh he rubbed his gritty eyes and added. "It can wait until I get my boy back."
Jennings gave him another knowing look adding, "Its alright Johnny, I'll do the necessary, you just makes sure that Dean is going to be okay."
God knows how you're going to be able to do that, John. To fix that gaping hole in Dean's soul that losing his brother will have made. I couldn't do it with my wife and look where it left her – permanently hospitalised for nigh on 25 years now.
And call it what you like, Sanatorium, Nursing home, Mental Institution, or just plain honest Nut House, what it all boiled down was she had been left so permanently broken, that neither myself or anyone else was unable to put her back together again.
How on earth was John going to be able to pick up the pieces left of his son and make him whole again, when he himself was so fucking broken?
The older man sighed, his eyes too bright at recalling just how devastated he and his poor Martha had been when they'd lost Efram and James. Two bright lives taken so devastatingly and cruelly from them.
So why the hell did this keep happening to them all? This was beyond cruel, this life that they led, when it kept on taking the best and brightest from them. Just like it had taken Sam.
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David tarried by the doorway, a small frown on his pinched features. Sam's angry insistence that he come out with him was so tempting, but the fear of Miss Charlotte and her threats still kept him rooted to the spot.
As he eyed the older boy he could sense the energy draining from him and felt a pang of guilt ripple over him. "Sam you have to go. I can't go out there." He seemed to stumble over his words, till they came out in a strained whisper. "I don't deserve too. Not now."
The tremor and timidity in his young voice puzzled Sam deeply. Somehow he had to reach him, get him past this fear. "David you deserve to get out of here more than anyone else. Please don't let that evil bitch win now. Come on kiddo, its you and me together all the way – remember?"
David shook his head in refusal, a look of panic flitting across his sunken features as he retreated further way from the doorway, as if trying to shrink back into the darkness.
Sam sagged against the frame, unsettled by this strange reaction, and knew that he could not go back in there even if he wanted to do. Just standing there was taking the last of his reserves. "You know I won't leave you here. Let it go David, and come out with me."
A small sob could be heard as David declared painfully. "Please Sam. You don't know what I did."
"Then tell me David. I promise it will be okay. But we really do need to get the hell out of here."
A petulant pout marred the youngster face, and he cocked a knowing eye up to the older boy. "You won't like me anymore if I tell you. Then you'll be just like Katie."
"Katie?" queried an exhausted Sam more than a little confused by the little boy's train of thoughts.
He got no further as the bitterness expelled itself from the child around him like a cold punch of air. Too many years to wonder about and to puzzle over why his sister had not come back had left its marks on the child. "She must have hated me something fierce. That's why she left me. That's why she never came back. "
Sam tried to reason with him again, the pain starting to worsen in his shoulder, beyond the dull ache he had managed to keep in the background, so it was with gritted teeth he hissed. " Come on, you don't know that. From what you told me your sister loved you, and wouldn't have stopped seeing you without a reason."
If Sam could have reached down and grabbed the pesky little ghost child and dragged him physically out of that damned tunnel he would have at that point, his patience growing thinner as his strength deserted him. But David, never really corporeal enough for such physical threats, just wavered too far away for him to even think of trying to grab him.
David resisted all attempts to cajole him back out, answering Sam's reasoning for why his sister had left him with his own. "No, you don't know what Miss Charlotte would say. Such horrible things, always whispering in the darkness that I was such a bad naughty boy. That's why Katie didn't come back for me – because I was so wayward."
The tiny spirit seemed to shrink even smaller, to whither physically under the gaze of Sam's tired eyes and his voice hiccupped with pent up pain and fear as he finally admitted. "I don't mean to be naughty or wilfully bad - not least to you."
Sam's brow furrowed at the child's strange words. "I don't understand - how were you ever bad to me David? You got me out of that hell house."
A true smile followed, dimples and all, as he acknowledged. "Hey, without you I'd have been dust by now."
David flinched visibly under the open smile and his form wavered between solidness and vapour as the distress eating away inside him became visible. "No, it was my fault,"
A long stream of white air drew around him as he uttered up a confession, tears filling his charcoal eyes. "Don't you understand it yet? I made you fall. I wanted to see you so much that I pulled you down to me."
Sam physically froze in the doorway at the little spirit's admission, recalling the fall in all its glory and the nightmare that had followed.
There had been a brief moment when he had felt something punch through him like a jolt of electricity as he struggled to maintain his balance on the edge. It had been like a nudge that rippled across him, so that he had been pushed backwards defying his struggles to stay upright. And then he had fallen. And dad had left him.
Now all the pieces came together, and the guilt he had carried with him that he had screwed up the hunt yet again was immediately lifted from his shoulders. 'At least that was something his dad couldn't screw him down with this time', he thought bitterly.
For a moment he closed his eyes, fighting back the tears, the relief and anger melding into a fierce tightness in his chest, but it soon passed and he let out a long shaky breath as the tension dissipated at seeing the small broken boy before him.
They had both suffered enough today and all he wanted was for them to step out into the clean fresh air and leave the nightmare behind them, once and for all.
Sam bent slowly forwards, the effort costing him dearly, but he was not willing to give up on the child. "David, really it's okay. You were just lonely, and I can understand why it happened. I really do. But what you have to understand now is that I am not going to leave you here. So you'd better believe it when I tell you that we're both getting out this stinking hellhole together."
Unconvinced David shook his head, still too caught up in what his actions had caused. "But you got hurt because I've been naughty Sam. Just like she always said I was, so you have to hate me now. You just have to..."
"Hey I don't hate you, not because of some stupid mistake. Besides you didn't bring the house down on top of me afterwards, did you?" demanded Sam.
He couldn't help but chuckle softly at the appalled look of denial flashed across the small ghost's face, and he continued. "So then getting my scrawny butt out of that really crappy situation back there has been all your doing, right? So that makes us something like brothers, and brothers don't leave another behind. Not ever."
A look of astonishment washed over David's face and a small smile lifted his lips as he asked in disbelief. "Brothers?"
"Yep, so come on you have to listen to me, because I'm the big brother here and little brothers have to listen to them. Always."
Sam laughed again, realising that he sounded just like Dean. God how he missed not having his own big brother with him, and the need to get out into the open and find him suddenly overwhelmed him. He lurched back to stagger against the wooden frame of the doorway, fingering it for support, and knew that it was now or never for both him and David.
As if sensing all of this shyly David nodded up at him, the light glowing in his eyes again, the tears falling again but without the heartbreak behind them. Now a bright smile covered his pale face and with a fierce pride he swept up to Sam and said loudly. "Come on then Sam, I'll take you out of here, big brother."
Sam gave out a long breath of relief, and slowly straightened up, the view from the doorway a delicious sight. In the pale moonlight the shapes of tall trees could be made out.
Real honest too goodness nature at its frigging best, he told himself as he slammed the heavy door to the tunnel shut behind him to stagger forwards into the fresh air.
"Come on Dean, come get me now," he whispered against the gentle breeze. "I've done my bit, but I could really do with a little helping hand right about now."
Sam stood tall again, searching out the surrounding areas for any signs of his brother, or even his dad, but he soon realised he was alone. Only the soft breeze lifting the leaves on the trees seemed to answer him in return.
In the distance, up the sloping tree line, he could glimpse the orange burning the night sky from the fire consuming all that was rotten in that house. A second of absolute fear stole his breath away at the sight at realising that was where he needed to return to find his brother and father.
It looked too far away, to hard a journey, when all he wanted to do was sink onto the soft grass and sleep. Perhaps waiting for daybreak wouldn't be such a bad idea, he tried telling himself, as he shivered in the cold of the night.
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The torch was the only way Dean was able to navigate his way down without falling over roots and bushes as he came to the edge of the lake. His legs were still wobbly and his head was singing a loud jingle with every step he took, but he still he persisted. This was still doable he told himself as he wormed his way down to the waters edge, the hunt for Sam being his only real focus.
The noises behind him had dimmed as the Emergency Service workers voices became muted and more distant, till only the sound of his heavy laboured breathing broke the smothering silence.
Despite the pounding in his head he remained alert, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Then glinting under the moonlight, casting a strange rippling shadow on the dark water, he caught sight of the remnants of a small wharf, the wooden structure almost stripped bare by time and vandals.
Instantly a huge megawatt grin broke across Dean's tired face, as he reasoned that the smugglers tunnel wouldn't be far from that old structure. 'Not if the bad guys had to carry all that naughty heavy stuff by hand', he told himself
"I'm coming Sammy. Just hang in their little brother." ordered Dean out loud the boom of his voice echoing across the open water.
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The little spirit once free of the house had gone ahead to stand in a little clearing. He had the most peculiar looking on his grey face that was turned up the sky - as if seeing the night stars for the first time. They smothered the hemisphere, a blanket of sparkling smudges of light that kept the little child's eyes locked to the heavens in awe.
In the dim moonlight Sam walked slowly over to where his little rescuer stood, a tight smile of appreciation on his sweating face. The effort of following after him was taxing to say the least, but he still felt a little spellbound watching as the ghost shimmered and flickered in the night air.
"I've been waiting…so long," whispered a soft voice to the left of where Sam stood and confused he swung his torch around to find the owner.
Barely able to remain on his feet he was still able to stagger back from the slowly forming figure, punching back the darkness with a burn of silver shimmering light. Hoping beyond hope that this was not another encounter with the fiery poltergeist of earlier that day, Sam swallowed back the moment of panic.
After his day from hell this was the last thing he needed. Another Casper deciding to join their ranks was not part of the plan he wanted to shout out angrily. He regretted the loss of his backpack right about now as rock salt and a shotgun would have come in really handy he figured.
The apparition was morphing into something distinctly human in form, and it spoke again, taking the eerie silence of the night away as it whispered. "I've being waiting forever Davy."
At hearing his pet name the child's eyes grew wide, and impossibly black, as he spun to the familiar voice with a tight gasp of disbelief before he was able to ask. "Katie?"
His older sister, not more than sixteen years and little in stature, stared pointedly at him, a needful smile spread across her pale face as she flickered and drifted across the open space towards her brother.
"Why didn't you come back for me?" demanded the little spirit angrily of her, taking a step back as she took solid form in her approach to him. His tiny fists shook angrily in her direction as he added. "I was alone for such a long time. Why didn't you come for me?"
The young girl, delicately pretty, wearing the same dark eyes as her brother stopped calmly in front of him. "I never left you Davy. Never. I just couldn't get back to you in there."
Her long slim fingers pointed beyond the break in the heavy tree line to the amber glow coming from the remains of the house. "I tried to get back to you, but she wouldn't let come in to the house again. So I've waited for you. - I would have waited forever Davy."
She opened her arms and David rushed into his sister's tight embrace, her face burying into the crown of his head as she whispered through her tears "I could never leave you me dearest little one."
Katie, her skin so pale against the dark night, looked teary eyed up at Sam. "Thank you," she whispered and took her baby brother's hand in her hers. David also looked up at him, and for a moment he appeared so real, so human, that Sam wanted to touch him and feel the warmth of his skin, but knew that it was just an illusion.
"Dean is coming now, you'll be better soon." acknowledged David, his heart whole again, safe once more in Katie's hands, a wistful look touching his eyes knowing that this was the end of their long day's journey and new found friendship "I will never forget you. Goodbye Sam."
Both ghostly children had found their earth bound desires and with a sigh that lingered in the air for the longest second their spirits found freedom to disappear like mist on the wind.
Sam scarcely able to keep himself upright as the emotional scene played out before him found himself nodding his approval as the siblings removed themselves from their earthly bonds. "Bye little brother. Find peace Davy."
He knew that he was crying, but didn't care for once. Winchester or not the tears were a welcome release. They let the emotional baggage of the day seep out of him. At least David had found his much needed escape. The weight of being abandoned by his sister now lifted as Katie reclaimed him.
Shakily he wiped away the last of the tears, realising that they hadn't just been about the small child left to die in the underbelly of that evil house and all the cruelty that went with it. No, in part, he had cried over his own fears and anger that had made up the day.
Still the tears hadn't lifted that sour taste still lingering in his mouth as he struggled to keep in check his own sense of abandonment. Perhaps he was being unfair he reminded himself, his Dad had only the one choice to make, but the look on his face as he left him behind had offered no comfort, no apology other than to say, "Deal with it kid."
"I'll deal with it, in my own frigging way old man." hissed Sam defiantly as he pulled himself up straight again, his chin square in rebelliousness. "You just wait and see…"
His hand needed to steady the torch to spot the way ahead, and couldn't help but wince and hiss in pain as he released the pressure against his shoulder and felt the warmth seep out again. The only words that could match the pain came thick and fast, the curse words easy on his lips having learnt them when only hip high from his older smart mouthed brother.
Amazingly the list of expletives had an almost endorphic effect on him and the adrenal started pumping again. "You can do this Sam. Prove him wrong," he demanded of himself before starting on the slow trek back towards the house, eyeing the distance as a challenge to be met.
A shout broke his concentration, the deep voice easily recognisable as his name was screamed out into the night. "Sam!"
A light was shone on him and he blinked rapidly against the harsh beam as his brother raced forwards to him. A smile twisted his lips, as a sense of relief took over making him feel a little giddy as he recognised that his older brother had found him. "Hey, Dean!" he answered weakly scanning over his brother for visible injury. "You Okay?"
"Sam!" Dean called out again and a second later he was reaching out to draw him into a tight bear hug, squishing him so tightly to him that he couldn't have fallen down even if he wanted to. "God little brother, don't you ever fucking scare me like this again. You hear?"
Under the tight embrace pain flared up from Sam's shoulder made real by a small wail in the back of his throat making itself heard and Dean quickly let him go, his torch quickly flicking over him.
"Oh, Jesus fucking hell Sam," cursed Dean out loud, noting the wetness on his little brother's shirt with a gasp and worried frown. "What the hell happened to you?"
Fighting down the ripple of pain the hug had induced Sam snorted. "A huge bloody house fell on me, what the hell do ya think happened?"
There was so much more that he needed his brother to hear, for him to say out loud, but his throat felt too tight, and it was too hard to draw in breath now to offer any more words. Instead it was all he could do to stay awake to wonder at his brother's concerned words as the world went topsy-turvy once again
Dean was already shirtless by the time Sam had managed to snap a pain filled response and was firmly pressing the cloth over the wound, barking out orders with practiced ease. "Okay, keep your hand here Sammy. Don't let up on the pressure" as he eased his brother down to the ground A hand brushed across his forehead, feeling the heat radiating from the touch. "Shit, you're burning up bros."
Dean's fingers lingered on the brow of his brother's head, a deep sigh elicited from him as he savoured just being with his little brother again.
For too long today he feared he would never be able to see him again, let alone touch him. Now as he pressed the shirt back over the wound, felt the warmth of his brother's blood seep through his fingers, all he could think of was at least he was still alive for him to worry about all over again.
Nothing was worth more than this he realised as he studied his little brother's pale face. It was all he had left to fight for, his family, his geeky beautiful stubborn little brother.
For a moment he struggled to fight down his tears as the realisation hit him that he had almost lost it all today. Sam by all rights should not be still alive.
Dean's face twisted into a familiar smirk, knowing the reason why. His brother was a living freak at times and it seemed no one had bothered telling the powers-that-be that Sam Winchester was one mean son of a bitch and when he put his mind to no one or anything could stop him. So whether it was a frigging earthquake or a blazing inferno they could not beat that tenacity out of him - not ever.
Dean felt a surge of overwhelming pride rise in him. Pride that his baby brother had proved the predictions wrong by remaining very much alive. Even if he was left hurting, bleeding out, his Sam had still managed to survive against all the odds. That's just what he would expect from him.
For a moment longer he studied the outline of his brother's face before reaching out to pat his face appreciatively. "You did good kiddo."
Sam's eyes flew open at the contact. "Hey Dean," he offered up with a small smile on his lips, letting his slim fingers curl around his brother's wrist in a comforting touch. "I knew you'd find me…that you'd come back for me."
Dean managed to swallow down the tremor in his voice at the innocent belief that his brother had in him. "Yeah well for a while back there things looked a bit dicey I can tell you." He watched as Sam nodded, his eyes hooded with pain, and added quickly. "Best you just remember what an awesome big brother you have kiddo."
"The best…" answered Sam, his clear eyes offering up no doubt about his sincerity.
The bleeding had slowed thankfully, but it remained patently obvious that Sam needed help, sooner rather than later. The burden of being 'the best' big brother rolled easily back over his shoulders. "Okay Sammy. This is all fixable. Just stay still and I'll go get some help."
"No," cried out Sam latching on to the words that he was about to leave him, again. Unable to suppress a shudder of fear his fingers dug desperately into his brother's wrist. "Don't you leave me too Dean. Please. Don't go."
I can't do this again, he wanted to add, not alone in the dark. Not without you by my side.
Seeing the desperation on his kid brother's face Dean did the only thing he could, he bent down and lifted his brother over his shoulder, ignoring the grunt of pain it brought from Sam, and started the walk back to the fire, all the while offering up nonsensical words that matched his equally screwed up head.
All he knew as he fought down the to need curl up and vomit is that for his freaky geeky little brother he would have walked over hot coals bare footed ten times over to get him the help he needed.
That's what big brothers were supposed to do, weren't they? And for once Dean Winchester was not afraid to let the tears fall easily down his face at having being allowed the chance to play big brother again.
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"Oh my god your not going to believe the call out we've just got Pete?" demanded Janice excitedly as she quickly snapped her seatbelt in place.
Pete looked wearily at her. God knows he loved her dearly, and that both of them were doing double shifts to enable them to put their first down payment on that house – and it had really seemed important when they started work earlier that day. But right now all he wanted to do was catch up on forty winks in one of the rigs trolleys without having to play twenty questions.
Ideally the thoughts of stuffing a wadge of bandage into her mouth before shooting her full of sedatives seemed so appealing as he watched her perky face look him up and down with knowing smirk. How could she not be tired. It was just plain irritating. Still he said none of this, only turning his head to her and asked with a weary smile. "No baby I can't guess. So tell where are we being buzzed to next?"
"Pete - it's the Farnborough place again."
"That damn fire I bet. Has the Burns Unit been alerted?" he asked, struggling off the trolley and hastily getting back into the drivers seat.
"Nope – the fire seems under control, and no that's not reason we've been called out. She gave him a teasing smile as he started up the vehicle and pulled it out of the emergency bay.
"Okay Janice you know I'm not good at these guessing game. Just tell me or shoot me. Whichever one is quicker," demanded the paramedic tersely.
"God your such a grouch when you don't get enough sleep" she pouted at her partner, but when his lips thinned into a warning she added quickly. "That guy that we took to Mercy's is back at the Farnborough house again."
Realising that she meant the Winchester guy he was simply amazed. The last he had heard he had been doped up to the gills for trying to flatten one of the ER doctors with one hell of a concussion to go with it the bad attitude. Seriously impressed the by kids tenacity he gave a low whistle. "Well I'll be damned. Just how the hell did he manage to do that?"
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T.B.C.
Don't shoot me please. I know I promised to end it with this chapter, but the damn story just keeps on spreading itself out across the page and unless your willing to read another 10 pages I have to pause it here for now. Hopefully I can tie it all up by the next!
On a plus note at least Sam & Dean are back together again – for now! Roz.