Chapter 10: A New Year …
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did, Severus Snape he most would never have died.
Waking up next to her was something that he still couldn't get over it. He slept with his face buried in the mass of brown curls that flow everywhere. It has been almost five mornings starting the day without regrets, fears or doubts. She was there, with him, they made love every day and night, read books and research papers at each other. He felt like they were the only people in the world. Lucky for them, it was the Muggle world. They walked around town holding hands, talking, laughing without worries or looking over their shoulder. That night at the concert in Royal Hall was wonderful. Beautiful notes filled up the place while she leaned her head on his shoulder. Severus Snape was the most at ease that he had been in his life. He had shared everything that he holds dear to him, although some people will be shocked by this fact. Well, almost everything.
The Potions Master had his townhouse basement turned into a modest but fully equipped laboratory.
-"This is what I wanted to share with you. I have a couple of projects, of my own incentive, but they are at the moment, well… in a little bit of a halt… He handed her some parchments and notebooks with formulas, lists of ingredients and so. She examined them for a while and asked him:
-"What are you trying to do, Severus?" she asked him, spotting one in particular with great curiosity and a smile. "This can't be the work of a… Slytherin's son…?"
-"Which one are you referring to? " Roxanne handed him a rather large bundle of parchments.
-"Ah yes… you could say, is an antidote of sorts… for snake's poison…" Snape said to her, a tad mortified by her smile.
She looked at him very puzzled. "What? ... You know they are already available… for ages, by wizards and Muggles alike… I'm confused."
-"I know… It's just that… I've been reading, as well as hearing… things. Old… dark magic" He handed her older books. "After the rise of the basilisk that was hidden at Hogwarts, my mind began to wonder…" He sat down in a small desk.
-"You mean… the Dark Lord?"
-"I do not know… Maybe it's nothing… But one cannot be too careful…"
-"You fear for your life… So… you are still… close to him…" she said, with an inquiring look on her face.
-"No! It's just that… Look… After that… rat, Peter Pettigrew decided to come out of hiding, well; I know something is brewing…" Unconsciously, he laid a hand on his left forearm.
-"Look… I would like to help… if you let me…"
He stood up and went to her. Stroking her hair he said: "q
-"Anything that I could be of assistance, Master Snape…" She knew that there was more to the story, but she didn't want to push him away. He made a copy of all of his notes and shrunk some of the books for her.
The year was coming to a close. It was New Year's Eve and they've decided to go back to Hogwarts. The students will soon start to come back to the school. He was certain that in those short days he surely had used up all the happiness he deserved and more.
Snape had received a note from his Headmaster, asking him about his holidays, and in his very particular way, put him out to speed about life at Hogwarts, especially about what he had planned for receiving the New Year's in a special way for the guests. The Potions teacher knew that it was his way to ask him to go back.
She started to open her eyes and saw him staring at her. "Good morning" he said.
-"Who said it was…" she answered him, guessing what he note in his hands was. "We have to go back, and je ne veux pas revenir en arrière …"
He brushed away her hair and started to kiss her neck and shoulders. His hands wandered down her back and legs. "Why can't we always start up the day… like this…?" She was right… He knew that the moment they put a foot back in the castle, nothing will ever be the same. He knew that he had to let her go. She was his, but had to let her go.
His breath got heavier and heavier, his hands kept roaming her body. He took her from the back; each stroke inside of her was a mix of rage and frustration. She was moaning and out of breath, but he didn't make a sound. Each one of his movements was strong, like he wanted to erase all the tenderness he had shown in the past few days. He needed to go back to his old-self, no matter what. He took hold of her arms down by her side, and didn't let her move. He was just using her, without mercy or shame. He let out a visceral sound that it was almost primitive, spilling into her all the feelings that he was losing control of. He collapsed to the side, without even touching her. He lay there, looking at the ceiling, unable to say or do anything. She collected herself and sat by his side, taking his hand.
-" Qu'est-Ce, Severus?" He didn't react. She tenderly placed herself on top of him, her head in his chest. His heart was racing, his breathing very fast. They just stayed that way for a while.
-"I am sorry…" he finally said to her. "Please… forgive me. We will have to end this."
-"I have nothing to forgive you for, nor I will end this, not without just reason, which I fail to recognize…"
-"You must… please. I lost control, I am going to harm you… I know I will. Everything that comes close to me I eventually… break it…" He moved away from her and stood up, throwing a robe on to him.
She also put on a robe and got close to him.
-"Talk to me…" She grabbed his hand as he was trying to leave the room. He sat down in the chair with his head between his hands.
-"I… mustn't… There is nothing to talk about. We must leave and not let this become more than it is… That is all."
-"Severus, look at me… Ne vous occupier due me… du tout? He quickly looked at her, surprised. "If you do, please… I must know why we must part… like this."
-"I do care, Roxanne, and that is the problem. I do not know what the future holds…"
-"No one does, even if omens or prophecies are foretold, they can be challenged… and… turned around."
-"I know that! That… it's what I am bound to do, in a way!"
-"And you have to keep me out?" She kneeled in front of him, taking his hands.
-"If someone knows that I… care… for anyone, they could use it against me. And believe me; I am not good at protecting the ones I care for…"
-"You don't know that. And I can assure you, I am capable of taking care of myself… I know we can't hide in here forever, I know that. It would be foolish to think that it would be a good life, living forever in this… bubble. But you don't have to let go of me…"
-"Roxanne… I wasn't looking for this. I had made my peace, a long time ago, with the fact that one is giving just one love in a lifetime, and I had mine… and lost it. I am afraid that the guilt and regret will always be more powerful than any other feeling that I could have…"
-" I will help you in that antidote research of yours, if you sill want to do it. But I know that guilt or regret are not the only feelings that are present in your life… I will help you to see that" She took his hand and made him stand up. "Come… let's have lunch. We must have a full stomach to face reality… Just… don't let me go… not yet…"
They finally arrived at Hogwarts late in the afternoon. Special preparations were taking place for the special dinner. They entered together into the castle and parted ways by the marble staircase… with a warm smile.
Nightfall dropped by soon enough and it was time for dinner. All the teachers and students gather in the Great Hall for the special feast. Snape and Miss Dumont sat across each other, in the company of Madam Olympia, Karcaroff, Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall even Hagrid and Professor Moody, whom never looked very comfortable at these social events.
-"Je vous manque déjà…" Snape thought that had heard her voice, whispering to him, but when he looked up, she was talking vividly to her Mistress. He smiled to himself and dismissed it.
-"Did you enjoy yourself, Severus?" asked Dumbledore. "Yes, I did, Sir". He couldn't help but to glance towards her. "Good, good. Well deserved, my boy, and about time… Severus here…" Dumbledore said looking first at Roxanne and then the other companions, to diffuse his intentions "works too hard ad enjoys very little in life. And, no matter what, we all need balance in our lives…" "Tellement véritable, Professor Dumbledore…" and she smiled at the old man.
The feast was coming to an end. An assortment of desserts and sweets appeared on the tables. Dumbledore went for his usual sherbet and in a very playful manner asked Miss Dumont about her favorite sweet: "Dark chocolate…"was her answer. "Tastes just like you, bittersweet…" she said in her mind.
Severus Snape looked up again in her direction, stunned, but this time, she was clearly looking back at him. She got up the table and followed the group students and teachers that were heading towards the gardens around a castle. He also stood up and went straight towards the group, but stayed behind until she was walking alone. "I need to ask… do you know… Legilimency…?" he asked in a very low voice.
She stopped and looked at him. "Why do you ask, Severus?"
-"If you don't, then, I am going mad…" he replied. He offered his arm and walked towards the castle.
-"Well, the truth is… I had read about it, and some old teacher lecture me very briefly, but I never really… practiced… So, did it worked?"
-"Barely a whisper… enough to make me… mad…"
She smiled and quickened her pace. A group has formed around a fire pit and they took chairs with the rest of the teachers. Professor McGonagall was going around with a tray and offered her a mug. "Warm dark chocolate… I heard this is your favorite… Miss Dumont?" Minerva smiled at Snape at ask him "Black coffee as usual, Severus, or would you like some chocolate as well?" "Coffee is fine, Minerva… Thank you…"
It was a clear, cold night. There were some patches of snow on the ground and up in the night sky, the stars shine trough. The fireworks started as Professor Flitwick's chorus performed for the public, signaling the approach of the midnight hour. Everybody bids their good wishes for the New Year's. "Happy New Year, Master" said Roxanne, kissing him politely at cheek when no one, hopefully, was looking, lingering just a bit too close to his lips. Snape took a deep breath, trying to get her scent.
-"You are determined to make this harder than it should be, aren't you?" Now he was the one going in her mind.
The fireworks ended and everyone slowly started to go inside the school. By the marble staircase, everybody bids their good nights and scattered throughout the castle. Severus Snape hurried down to the dungeons, straight to his personal chambers. He summoned a firewhiskey and took it in one straight shot. He took his robe and his suit and served himself another drink. This one, he drank it more slowly. "I need to pace myself. It's a long time until June… This cannot be…"
There was a timid knock at the door. "Bloody hell, what now…" he mumbled…
-"I won't start this New Year's without a proper kiss…" said Roxanne as she threw herself towards him and kissed him. He managed to close the door behind her , but then took her by her arms and separated from her. "What?" was the only thing that he could mutter.
-"I did not like the way we parted yesterday. It has been beautiful and, I won't have my fears, or yours, to spoil those memories…"
-"Your… fears, Roxanne?"
-"Yes Severus. I am afraid... Afraid about what you can't tell me… Afraid that I would not be able to… let you go…"
He took his wand and wave it around the room "Mufliatto", he whispered. He seized her robes and carefully removed them. The lights dim themselves as they walked towards the bed. They sat down and she untied the ribbons in her nightshirt, offering her breasts to him. He grazed his fingers around them before taking them with his lips. She sat on straight until her body couldn't handle it anymore and let herself go onto the bed. He finished opening up her nightshirt, revealing all of her body. He leans down and kissed her around the navel, towards the sides of her hips and into her thighs. "This… is what I crave…" he murmurs, as he gently parted her legs, and took the first taste. She quickly started to moan and squirm around the bed, playfully getting away from him , and later holding him in place, reaching her selfish climax.
-"Witch… you are not going to make this easy… are you?" "No…" she replied "I can't help myself" With a very lusty expression on her face, she thrust herself higher in the bed. "Come… take me… now… Master…" He quickly finished to strip down his clothes and lay on top of her. He moved her hair from her neck and started placing small bites all over it. She took his face and kissed him hard, biting his lips and sucking his mouth, almost in the style of a Dementor.
He kneeled in front of her and took her legs, one by one, kissing her feet and placing them on his shoulders. "Allez…" she whispered, trembling with anticipation. He rammed himself with all of his weight. She bent her legs onto his back, making him go deeper into her. He drove himself in over and over again into her, sometimes getting out of her completely, only to plunge back in when she started to plead for it. He worked hard on her, trying not to lose control every time she screamed out of ecstasy, but it was too much. He need it to let go, the pressure was making him crazy. Seeing this, and in a surprisingly swift move, she pushed him, making him sit, wrapped her legs around him and plunged herself into him, making him grunt in pleasure, filling her completely.
They held each other tightly, the room spinning around them, trying not to fall. Out of breath and drunken with pleasure, they kissed, trying to figure out how to let go.