I waited nervously as the Capitol drew closer and closer. After a while, I heard Gale clamber out of his compartment and laughed at his hungover state. He just smiled, his hair ruffled. "Where were you last night?" He asked. "I drunkenly called Peeta." I admitted, laughing. He laughed with me before walking past me to the bathroom. I listened for a moment, then heard the shower switch on. Great minds think alike, I thought with a smile. I went back to looking out of the window, the sound of the running water from Gale's shower soothing me. I knew I wasn't in a good place right now emotionally, so I wondered how I was going to handle the Capitol. I couldn't break, not here. It was only for a little while. As I was about to get up, Gale walked into the compartment, dripping wet, with only a white towel wrapped around his waist, his chest bare. I wondered if this was some pathetic attempt to seduce me, so I pretended not to notice him and just threw him his clothes. He caught them and walked past me to the bedroom, to get changed. He spent longer than I thought he would in there, so when he came out, I asked, "What were you doing in there?"

"I made up the bed, that's why I took longer." He explained. I tilted my head back in understand and he went to get some food from the cart on a plate. I stood up to join him, feeling like I needed some food in me to soak up the remaining alcohol before facing the Capitol. My second experiences with alcohol had been much more pleasant than the first, probably because Haymitch wasn't around. Me and Gale ate in relative silence, simply enjoying each other's company. In a weird way, it felt like the old times, before the Games. I could feel my friendship with Gale slowly healing, although things would never been the same. He was openly in love with me and he had been part of the reason my younger sister was dead. I didn't like to think about that because it made my stomach twist in pain, but I had to get used to my darker thoughts if they were going to creep up on me when I was least expecting it.

Before either of us knew it we had arrived at the Capitol train station. The train rolled under a tunnel, surrounding us in complete darkness for a moment, before we emerged on the other side, hoardes of Capitol folk stood, waiting for the train to arrive. I would never get over how different and odd these people were compared to the people back home. Once they saw me, they started cheering and clapping, desperately trying to reach the train. The doors to the train opened and I instinctively grabbed on to Gale's arm. He led me out into the crowd, who launched themselves at me. There was lots of shouting and screaming and my eyes were scanning the station for my mother. I couldn't see her over people pushing and shoving to get closer to me.

"Where's Peeta!" Someone shouted above the noise and the shouts disappeared as they waited for my answer. I felt like I was being interviewed with Caesar again. "He's at home, he's sick. But he'll be fine." I said with a smile. The way I spoke about him, it was as if we had been together for years. "He sends his regards." I added with a smile. In the corner of my eye I saw Gale push away an overenthusiastic fan with an unnecessary force. I shot him a dark glance that said we would have words for that once we were in private. Over the crowd I saw my mother trying to push her way towards me. I stood on my tiptoes to get a better view of her and the crowd followed my gaze, welcomingly moving aside to allow my mother through. She smiled and walked towards me, taking me into her arms and hugging me.

All the years I'd spent pushing my mother away after my father's death had made me forget how much I needed her. I'd become so cold and self-sufficient, but Peeta's love for me had thawed me out and now I accepted my mother with open arms. I put my arms around her and immediately felt comforted. She smiled and her beauty was breathtaking, even after all these years. She took my hand in hers and led me away from the crowd and out the train station.

"Goodbye Katniss."

"Bye Girl on Fire."

"See you later Mockingjay!"

The crowd shouted after us, seemingly disappointed that I was leaving so soon. "It's okay, she's got an interview with Caesar Flickerman tomorrow." He shouted back to the crowd as he ran to catch up with us. He went to take my other hand but I swiftly moved it out of the way, hoping my mother didn't notice. I thought I saw her eyes flicker, but I didn't say anything. "Where are we going?" I asked. "We're going back to my house." My mother said with emphasis on the 'we' and giving Gale an unwelcoming glare. Gale looked at her and then stumbled out, "Uhh, yeah, I've got to go and report back to officials anyway." Gale said, taking off in the opposite direction. I stared at my mother in admiration. I would never get used to seeing her as such a strong, independent figure.

We were relatively silent whilst walking to my mother's house in the Capitol, chit-chatting about trivial things, leaving the real talk for when we were inside – somewhere more private. It was rather windy and I was glad to be inside. My mother's apartment was really homey and I sat down at the mahogany table whilst she made tea. There were many inventions in my mother's apartment I didn't even know existed. When she set a steaming mug of sweet tea in front of me and sat opposite to me, a stern look in her eyes, she spoke. "Now, talk." She commanded and I was given the near impossible task of wondering where to begin.

I sat quiet for a moment and my mother waited patiently for me to begin. I decided to tell her everything and omitted no detail. She was the only person I could trust. I didn't trust Gale anymore and I couldn't talk to Peeta about this because it didn't seem right. My mother listened intently, her face giving away no emotion. When I became overwhelmed, breaking down in tears in front of her, she simply reached out and took my hand in hers and began soothing it by rubbing the back of my hand. I wanted to grow up like my mother. I wanted to be as strong and independent as her. Her life here, it was so different, so healthy.

Through harsh sobs, I finally managed to reach what was bothering me so much. My mother knew me so well. "I'm scared, mother. I love him so much it hurts. I didn't think I was capable of an emotion this intense. And it's not just one emotion, it lots of different emotions mixed into one. I feel like I can't differentiate things when I'm around him. I'm not in control. All my decisions revolve around him. I love him so much, but I don't want to be a slave to my love for him. Which is why I jumped at the opportunity to run here. I don't want to mess this up. I want to be with him, but I've put Peeta's happiness before my own. I have no idea what to do, everything feels so new and different and I feel scared and alone because I can't talk to him about this. I feel like my whole life is changing and there's nothing I can do about it."

My mother listened to me pour my heart out to her. When I was finished, she contemplated what I said for a moment. "Katniss, sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us." She said to me, her blue eyes meeting my grey ones. "You just have to learn to numb yourself to these overwhelming emotions. You always were intense and self-destructive; not a good combination." She laughed with a shake of her head. "I am confident you will make the best decision. Peeta," she paused. "He's good for you." She smiled and I finally brought myself to stop crying. But I had one more confession to make.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." I told her, dropping my gaze to the table. I couldn't bear to look her in the eyes because her blue eyes were reminding me of his eyes, although they had nowhere near the same level of intensity. "Whatever for darling?" she chuckled incredulously. "For pushing you away when Dad died," I explained, shame filling me up. I had my hands in my lap, staring down at them. "I was so blind back then, too stubborn to understand. But now I do, because," I took a deep breath, refusing to allow tears to flow again. "Because now I know that's exactly what I'd do if anything happened to Peeta." The weight of my confession lifted from my shoulders and I felt much happier although I was still waiting for her response.

My mother stood up from the table and for a moment I thought she was going to walk away in anger. But she rounded the table, pulled me to my feet and hugged me, tears streaming down her face. "Thank you," she whispered into my ear through her tears. I rubbed her back and I couldn't hold back any longer. Me and my mother cried for hours, talking about my father and Prim. What they'd be doing now, what they used to do. After a while, I had to ask my mother. "Mom, do you blame Gale for what happened?" I asked.

"No." She answered honestly. "He's just a good boy who bad things have happened to and he didn't handle them as well as he could have. His fire, it isn't good for him. But I've watched him grow up and I know he's not a bad man. He has the potential to be, though. If he hurts you," she warned, her look deadly that I didn't doubt her for a moment. "I want you to promise you'll tell me." My mother stared at me intensely, forcing me to agree. I knew she would always look out for me and from now on I'd make it my duty to look out for and take care of her.

I spoke with her all day, going out for a meal, getting coffee, seeing everything Capitol had to offer whilst talking about everything. By the end of the day, we'd caught up and I went back to my mother's apartment, exhausted. I suddenly remembered that I needed to call Peeta. Telephones were a everyday household item in the Capitol, so I picked up my mother's whilst she prepared supper and went into what would be my bedroom for the night and dialled Peeta's house phone. It rang three times before Peeta picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said in his beautifully sweet voice.

"Hey Peeta, it's me." I said, sitting down on the bed. "Katniss!" Peeta exclaimed, evidently pleased I called. "How are you?" he asked immediately. I felt the quilt of my bed, feeling comforted by it. I was trying to stay grounded. "Much better." I said, feeling relaxed as I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes, letting his voice wash over me. "Good." He whispered and I could hear the happiness in his voice. The following conversation with Peeta was odd, to say the least. It was like I had truly accepted the fact we were a couple. We had left our friendship pretence behind. I told him about my interview the next day and he wished me luck. He told me he was healing well and should be fine by the time I returned home. We spoke for hours, until my mother told me to get off the phone and come and get my supper. "I'll call you tomorrow Peeta, okay?"

"Okay," He said. "I love you." Those three words made me smile and I reflexively replied, "I love you more." He was silent for a moment and I wondered if that was the wrong thing to say. Ugh, I was so self-conscious. "Not possible." He said simply before the phone went dead and I was left to ponder on what had just happened. I went into the kitchen and joined my mother for supper. She playfully teased me about my relationship with Peeta and I went to bed genuinely happy. For the first time in months, I wasn't plagued by confusion or doubt.

I loved Peeta. That wasn't a problem or confusing, it was a fact. All I had to figure out now was to stop loving him so much that it made me stupid. Which was hard, because trying not to love Peeta would be one of the most difficult things I'd ever have to do in my entire life. But I had to try, for the sake of us.