Authors note: Hello again! Sorry for the long wait on the posting of this chapter. There were just a few things I couldn't get right and seeing as this is a very important chapter, I wanted everything to flow smoothly and make sense. It's pretty information heavy.
That being said, I know there has been some frustration and confusion regarding some of Harry's reactions. I promise that all of Harry's reactions and everything he hears is relevant and will become important later on in the story, so please be patient. All good things to those who wait.
Now after this posting, since we don't have a BETA, I really want to go back and edit chapter's 1-4, so it may take a little longer to post the next chapter. I will reupload those chapters after their edits are made and then move on with the story.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and DM'd us! We appreciate the reviews and have gotten some awesome feedback. Keep reviewing!
And now the moment you've all been waiting for!
We do not own Harry Potter. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.
~oOo~
"Gabrielle, I have to tell you something." Harry almost whispered into the air.
Gabrielle drew back a bit to get a better look at his face, concern and worry etching her features as she took in his haunted gaze. "What is it, Jake?" she asked.
Harry drew in a deep, shuddering breath as he calmed himself. The calm before the storm.
He was beginning to feel slightly ashamed for his breakdown as the seconds passed. He had not meant to show how upset he truly was, let alone cry in front of Gabrielle. Come to think of it, the only time he really broke down was in front of Hermione when they visited Godric's Hollow, and he saw his parent's graves for the first time.
He pushed aside his uncomfortable feelings and spoke again. "Before I tell you anything, please, please understand that I never intended to hurt you. I really, truly care about you, and I hope you can understand that betraying you or hurting you are the farthest things from my mind."
Alarm shrouded her eyes, and she leaned back even further her eyebrows furrowing. "Jake, what are you.."
"Please, just let me explain." Harry interrupted, feeling his heart flutter in panic again. "I...I just...I don't even know where to begin."
Silence followed his statement and Gabrielle was so still it didn't even appear that she was breathing.
When Harry spoke again, his voice was painstakingly quiet. "I've lied to you, Gabrielle."
Her brows remained furrowed, and she didn't make a sound. The seconds that passed felt like hours until she finally leaned back, sighed cautiously, glanced around the room with a look that told Harry her worst fears had been confirmed, stood up, and gracefully walked over to his small dining table. She sat herself down and silently demanded an explanation with her expression alone.
She didn't look angry per se, just expectant. Waiting for him to speak again.
Harry slowly rose from his spot on the ground, noticing how the difference in movement rustled the dust around him. He focused on it, trying to find something, anything to ground him into this moment. Into reality. He took a reluctant seat across from her, failing to meet her eyes. He hung his head low and crossed his fingers together.
Harry was desperately trying to think of the best way to come about this moment. Even with all the extra weeks he had to prepare to make the blow as painless as possible, he had concluded that there was no way in hell this would be painless. Which was probably why it had been so hard for him to tell her in the first place. He knew he was going to hurt her. And risk her telling everyone she knew that he was still alive and consequently blow his cover and everything he's worked for in this new life he'd built for himself.
Her voice filled the air after she watched him struggle with his thoughts for a bit. "Is this why you've been casting Glamour spells on yourself?"
Harry's breath stilled, and he froze entirely. His eyes widened in shock as he processed her words and after a brief pause, he breathed out, "How did you...?"
"Bill told me," Gabrielle said gravely. "He and Fleur confronted me about a month and a half ago about the glamour spells they detected. Bill is a curse breaker after all. It's his job to detect those kinds of things."
Harry's mind started racing, panic etching over his features and stealing over internally. How long had they known? Does he know who he really is? He must have really underestimated Bill if he was able to detect glamours cast by the elder wand. It still leaves a trail though, how else would it have been tracked after all the death it's caused?
Harry's breathing became labored, and he covered his face in his hands as he asked, "What exactly did Bill say?"
Gabrielle, in an attempt to calm him, reached out and gently touched his arm. He lowered his hands and looked at her in bewilderment. He blinked a few times as he took in her stern expression, but still detected no traces of anger.
"They told me where they detected the glamours, how to look for them so I could confirm for myself, and to hear you out when you finally decided to tell me," Gabrielle said. "Though be warned, I do not take being lied to lightly, Jake."
Silence followed as Harry tried to control his breathing again. This was one of the most challenging things he'd had to do in a very long time; almost on par since he decided to leave his old life and start anew. And the most difficult part of this whole situation is that he would lose her and end up alone again. He knew there was more to life than just her, but it certainly made life more enjoyable to have someone there who cared for him and liked him for who he was as a person and not because he was The-Boy-Who-Lived.
Gabrielle remained patient as he gathered his thoughts, and surprised him even further when she gently took his hand in hers. The churning in his belly momentarily stood still, and he took the opportunity of clarity to begin his tale.
"Gabrielle, I'm afraid," Harry said. He took a deep breath and continued without meeting her eyes. "I just wanted to start over. I was so tired. I was tired of continually trying to live up to everyone's expectations. I wasn't just someone everyone knew like Celestina Warbeck or even Gilderoy Lockhart. Anyone who saw me looked at me like a god. And if something didn't go as planned, the press and the public were relentless for months. When everyone looks to you for guidance and advice and to change their world, and you only just started to do something worth-while in your life, it can be a very lonely place. Even what I was doing before, I can't fully take credit for, because I had a shoo-in with the minister and it's what the country wanted.
I'm afraid because everyone I was close to seemed to hate me. I knew they didn't, but with every retelling of our story, they became less important. I eventually had a falling out with my best friend, and nothing had ever quite been the same."
Gabrielle's face remained neutral and stern during his retelling. Harry could not discern her expression as she listened, and he was trying to tell her as much as he could before he lifted the charms from himself. She remained silent.
"And because of this," Harry's voice faltered slightly. "I hope you can find it within you to forgive me. Forgive me for lying to you, and forgive me for betraying your trust. Because I'm afraid to lose you."
Harry whispered this last statement while he gently squeezed her hand in his grip. After a moment he slowly removed his hands from hers, took out the Elder Wand, and gave it to Gabrielle. Her brows furrowed more in confusion as she took the wand from him.
"I want you to cast a Finite Incantatem," Harry said. "And no matter what happens, know that I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. And know that I will always care for you."
At this, Harry remained silent and stared into her beautiful, crystal blue eyes as he waited for her spell. Her silence during his brief explanation made him nervous and uncomfortable. Now the ball was in her court, and he was at her mercy.
Gabrielle stared at the wand that was gripped in her hand. Her movements were precise, but she was breathing a little faster than usual in anticipation of what was about to happen.
Her eyes gradually left the wand and met Harry's. Harry locked onto her gaze as their eyes met and didn't look away as she gracefully raised his wand.
She took her time and examined his features, no doubt trying to detect where his glamours were one final time.
And then he heard it. Her softly spoken Finite Incantatem.
Harry felt the familiar tingle of magic as the glamour spells were lifted. He felt his eyes prickle for a second, his hair grow shorter and messier, and a faint tingle on his forehead signaling that his scar had appeared again.
Harry heard a soft intake of breath from Gabrielle as she took in his changing appearance. Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. She immediately sat up straighter in her chair as though she were about to stand up and run away, her whole body tense.
Harry shifted uncomfortably, hoping against hope that she wouldn't freak out.
"H…Harry Potter?" She said, unable to take her eyes away from him. "But...I thought…"
"I know, it's so messed up," Harry replied before she could say anything more. "Please, just let me explain." Harry went to reach for her hands again, but she withdrew.
"Explain then," Gabrielle said forcefully as she looked at him in disbelief.
Harry cleared his throat and gulped to try and relieve the sudden dryness. "I faked my own death during one of our Death Eater raids." He paused briefly to process her facial expressions before continuing. She gave him no sign of understanding. Just shock and disbelief with a slight tinge of anger.
"I had a major falling out with Ron, and nothing was ever the same again. Hermione was treating me different too. I felt more like a burden to the Weasley family every time I visited, and I was just a constant reminder of the war and the people we'd lost. With everyone. The original order members could only think of my parents when they looked at me as well as everyone else who died this time around.
The Ministry was an entirely different situation too. I was pushed through and became head of the Auror office by recommendation by Kingsley Shacklebolt alone, not by any real effort I put forth. And the entire country expected me to rebuild the ministry from the ground up with Kingsley while simultaneously becoming the poster boy for the new world without Voldemort. The working days were excruciating, and my relationship with Ginny failed because of it. I just wanted to live my life without someone recognizing me as their savior and to finally earn something on my own without being a burden to everyone."
As Harry finished this explanation as best he could, Gabrielle's brows furrowed together even further. Her look of confusion only sent Harry's pounding heart into more of a frenzy.
After a moment, Gabrielle abruptly stood up from her chair. "You've put our family through hell." She said with clenched fists. Her eyes grew dark, and if Harry was not mistaken, her hair was not as shiny as it usually was. Did it turn almost gray? "Do I even know who you are?"
Harry, in an attempt to plead for her understanding, brought his hands together and said, "Gabrielle, please believe me when I say I have tried to tell you as much of the truth as I could. I admit I lied to you about my name, appearance, and school. Everything else I either told you the truth, changed the subject or didn't answer."
Gabrielle scoffed, "Oh and that makes it better?" She moved her hands to her hips, and Harry stood up to be on the same level. "How many opportunities have you had to tell me? What do I even call you now?"
Panic setting in, Harry answered her immediate question. "You can call me Harry in private but please, don't tell anyone. If anyone else found out about this…"
"Yeah, I get it," Gabrielle said matter-of-factly. She let out an exasperated breath. "I don't even know what to think right now." She turned from him, her hands above her head and her eyes leaving him to stare up to the ceiling in disbelief.
Harry kept his distance. "Gabrielle, I'm so sorry."
At his words, she turned around to face him and after a moment, said, "I have to go." She checked herself to make sure her belongings were all with her, took out her wand, and began walking to the door.
"Gabrielle," Harry said, feeling the dread well up in his chest. "Don't tell anyone."
Gabrielle paused with her hand on the doorknob and looked back to him. She was definitely upset and confused. She went to answer, closed her mouth, opened it again and said, "Just give me some time."
~Gabrielle~
As soon as Gabrielle closed the door and she heard the faint click of the latch, she leaned against the frame for support. Her mind was whirring so fast she couldn't even think straight, let alone process any kind of emotions or coherent thoughts.
She had apparated back to the mansion as quickly as she could and immediately sought the comfort of her bedroom.
She started pacing to keep her mind and her body busy. She was on the verge of tears; she was so angry and shaking. She felt betrayed.
Her trust for Jake had all but dissipated after she found out that he didn't even exist. Jake; her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who didn't exist and was replaced by Harry Freaking Potter.
Harry Potter; the savior of the Wizarding World who disappeared in a freak British Ministry raid accident.
The worst part about this was that she was really beginning to fall for Jake, and now her trust was utterly obliterated. Part of her wondered what she did to deserve being lied to like this, and stopped to examine herself in the mirror.
While her Veela appeal wasn't always as active as her sisters, she could still clearly see her part Veela heritage when she was upset or angry. Her skin and hair had darkened to an almost gray color, her hair had begun to stick to her shoulders unnaturally, and her nose seemed elongated; no doubt resembling the tell-tale beak.
She always hated seeing herself like this and steadied her breathing with some deep breaths.
Her features slowly turned back to the way they were after she cleared her mind; a trick she had learned through a few occlumency lessons at Beauxbatons.
After calming herself, she tried to reevaluate the situation: Harry Potter was alive, and she was apparently dating him as Jake Meier, who she was previously falling in love with. Now she didn't know who was who, what the actual truth was, or who to believe or trust. He had asked her not to tell anyone and a secret this big would turn the Wizarding World upside down.
She couldn't process any of her emotions properly and settled on one feeling that she could definitely grasp onto: betrayed. Betrayed and confused.
She latched onto these feelings and tried to understand where he was coming from, but she just couldn't. Maybe after a few days, she would be calm enough to grasp some kind of understanding. However, at the moment she wanted to pull her hair out.
A plethora of different words raced through her mind, some of them being selfish, betrayal, lies, and WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK AM I DATING?!
A strangled growl of frustration ripped through her throat. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep or even think straight that night and resigned to laying down in her bed as she desperately tried to organize her thoughts.
A cloud of dread seemed to cover her like a blanket. This was going to be one grueling process.
~Harry~
The next few days for Harry were agony. He couldn't stop thinking of Gabrielle, and her disappointed face seemed to haunt his mind for the days to come. After the weekend had ended and Harry went back to work, he still had not spoken to her. The passing days really worried him, but there really wasn't much he could do now except wait for her to contact him, or the press to find him.
Despite having work to distract him, Harry was definitely quieter than usual; and he could sense it. After his morning potions session with Bernie (By this point, they had moved on to some more advanced potions work), he returned to the front desk to help with customers.
Nothing terribly exciting happened, and the customers were few and far between. Eventually, Bernie came out and placed another potion vial in front of Harry.
"Look alive," Bernie said, gently pushing the vial in Harry's direction. "You need to take that to Minister Delacour for me by the end of today. He's feeling under the weather again."
Harry barely moved his head to give a blank stare at the vial set before him. An extreme sadness took him over as he thought of Gabrielle from a few days before. The feeling was so overwhelming, his chest felt hollow.
"Bernie," Harry began. "I don't think it would be such a great idea if I brought this potion to them."
His interest Piqued, Bernie turned around from the shelf he was examining and gave him a pointed stare with squinted eyes. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Without answering, Harry gently shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. He was staring at the vial without truly focusing on anything in particular. Bernie walked cautiously over to where Harry was standing.
"You told her?" Was all Bernie asked.
After a beat of silence, Harry gave a simple nod to confirm Bernie's suspicions. Harry lowered his eyes from the vial to the counter and pressed his lips together. Gabrielle had become a significant part of his life in recent months, and it pained him to know that he had ruined yet another good thing in his life because of who he was.
"Well, slap me silly," Bernie said. "You actually did it."
This comment surprised Harry out of his reverie. "What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, looking up.
"I honestly didn't know whether or not you'd actually tell her."
A little insulted, Harry defended himself. "I'm not that much of a terrible human being, Bernie."
"I never said you were," Bernie said, cutting him off. After a brief pause, the silence was broken again. "That was no easy thing you did. I commend you for telling her."
"Well, you basically told me that if I didn't do it, you would do it for me eventually," Harry said, slightly annoyed at the praise.
Bernie crossed the room and stopped just outside his office door before turning back around to face Harry. "I was doing you a favor."
"And what, pray tell, would that favor had been?"
"You know just as well as I that you needed to tell her. You are not the type to lie to the ones you care about, Harry." Bernie turned back to the door, facing away from Harry as he said his next words. "And trust me when I say nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than walking this earth knowing that the one you love doesn't know who you really are."
Harry processed his words for a second before Bernie turned the knob of his office door and snuck inside.
Harry was once again left alone with his thoughts, the fire that was stirred up by Bernie dissipating and the hollow feeling in his chest returning.
~Gabrielle~
The evening was coming to a close, and most of her family had gone to bed. Gabrielle remained awake, even after her sister and Bill had retired to their chambers.
The night was not coming easy to Gabrielle, and she remained wide awake, unable to rest the whirling thoughts inside her head. Eventually, the idea of remaining stationary in her bed seemed unbearable, and she decided to walk around for a bit.
She went into the kitchen, magicked a cup of tea, and walked outside to the back of the mansion.
The night air was crisp and refreshing, and Gabrielle was glad to have a temporary relief to the constant headache that had become a common expectation over the past week.
The past week. An entire week and a half had passed since she found out that Harry Potter was, not only alive and well, but also her supposed boyfriend. Which in all honestly, confused the hell out of her. In her mind, she was dating Jake Meier, a man who attended Durmstrang. But after being alone with her thoughts, she realized that's all she really knew about his schooling and nothing else substantial.
I wish I would have asked more questions. I really know nothing about the situation. Gabrielle thought as she sipped her tea. Maybe she had run off too quickly? Regardless, she wasn't going to beat herself up for running off. I believe my reaction was well within reason.
And if she was honest with herself, her celebrity school-girl crush was, in fact, Harry Potter. He saved her from the Black Lake at Hogwarts during the Triwizard Tournament, and she even had the opportunity to speak with him at Bill and Fleurs wedding. Needless to say, she had thought about Harry Potter romantically more than once.
How she would have reacted to Harry Potter being in that apothecary instead, she didn't know. Part of her wanted to think that she would have treated him like any other average person. However, another part of her knew that she would be starstruck with the idea that he would invariably be the one to come to her rescue and amazed at his popularity by just walking out on the streets.
She could also see why he would want to get away from all that too. Afraid that she was possibly shallower than she realized, Gabrielle let out a sigh of long-suffering into the night air.
Just then, she heard the door from the mansion open behind her and Bill stepped into the crisp night air.
"Couldn't sleep either?" he said as he walked over to where she stood. He was in a long stripped nighttime robe with fluffy slippers.
Gabrielle let out an exasperated laugh. "How'd you know?"
Bill breathed a small laugh out his nose before replying, "just a lucky guess." Silence followed before he turned to Gabrielle and asked, "Is everything all right? Something seems to be bothering you."
Gabrielle smiled disarmingly and looked up to the stars. "It's nothing really." She replied, trying to find some shapes in the twinkling stars above them. "I guess I've just been thinking about last week's Ministry meeting with Papa."
"What's been bothering you?" Bill questioned.
"Lots of things," Gabrielle said in reply. "Maybe you can shed some light on this though."
Bill raised his eyebrows, surprised that he had a question directed specifically for him.
Gabrielle sighed before continuing. "I was really thinking about the disappearance of Harry Potter and how it triggered all these attacks and deaths. I know it's nowhere near what it was during the war, but no one can seem to pinpoint any of it except that it moves from country to country. I guess I was just wondering what was going on in Harry's life before his disappearance."
Bill leaned back onto his heels and breathed in sharply. "Oh Merlin, there were a lot of things going." Bill turned to face Gabrielle a bit better, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Why do you ask?"
Gabrielle shook her head quickly. A little too quickly. "Just trying to figure some things out, I guess. No real reason other than curiosity."
"I see," Bill said, staring out into the vast emptiness of the night sky and rolling hills behind the mansion. "Bloody hell, where to start? I guess we all thought everything was going smoothly. The world was stable enough at that point that we didn't exactly fear any Death Eater attacks or anything. I didn't really see Harry all that much, but I did talk with my brother Ron from time to time."
"What did he have to say?" Gabrielle asked, not wanting to reveal how much she knew and not sure what she should give away.
"To be honest, things were rocky for Harry and Ron. If you know my brother at all, you will come to find that he is as much of a jealous hypocrite as he is an extremely loyal friend. There came the point where I personally believe Harry was so exhausted from the constant ridicule he was receiving that when he was questioned about the events of the war, he took all the credit just to get the people off his back. It angered Ron that he was reduced to nothing in the war and only the faithful and trusty sidekick.
They had a pretty intense fight about four months before Harry disappeared. Ron wanted to be recognized, Ginny was unhappy, and Hermione was trying to be the equalizer. Though I think she was more on Ron's side on this one."
"They fought because Ron wanted to be recognized for his achievements?" Gabrielle asked, finding it hard to understand.
"It was more complicated than that," Bill said. "He was always in the shadow of five older brothers. We had already accomplished everything before so none of his accomplishments were special since we'd already done everything. Being the friend of Harry Potter and helping defeat the darkest wizard of our time was an achievement to call his own. But Harry didn't want the attention. He made it known to all of us at the Burrow. Harry was constantly being scrutinized for his every action, every good or bad decision, any place he visited, anyone he spoke to. Everything. Ron didn't have that kind of pressure, and I don't think he quite realized how much pressure Harry was truly under. So, when Harry just agreed with the reporters, it really angered Ron to know that Harry didn't want the attention, but wouldn't turn the reporters in any other direction but to get them to stop talking.
It's all entirely selfish of Ron, but I can see why he was upset. He was reduced to nothing in his mind. Hermione too."
Gabrielle sipped her tea thoughtfully. "That sounds really stressful."
Bill let an exasperated laugh escape his lips. "You don't know the half of it." Bill entwined his fingers together and continued. "My sister wasn't very kind either. And Merlin's beard, Harry was in love with her. I could see it. We all could. He would do anything for her."
Gabrielle stiffened at this new information. "Were they still together when he disappeared?"
"No. Unfortunately, part of being the Wizarding World's savior is all the overtime he had to put in at the Ministry trying to rebuild. Harry was trying to do what was expected of him according to everyone's standards and working himself down to the bone, while I believe Ginny needed someone to comfort her and be there for her while she came to terms with everything.
Everyone has their own coping mechanisms, I guess. And Harry wasn't providing. At least in the way she needed. After Harry's fallout with Ron, Ginny and Hermione were the only things keeping the group together."
"But then they broke up?" Gabrielle probed.
"Yeah. We were all surprised. Especially mum. And if I had to venture a guess, I would have bet 10 galleons that Harry was going to ask her to marry him once everything calmed down. But Ginny had reconnected with a former boyfriend of hers from Hogwarts and wanted to be with him instead. She never cheated on Harry, but she broke it off and started dating this bloke incredibly soon after.
I had never seen Harry so broken. He wouldn't emerge from his rooms for days on end, and because of his fight with Ron, no one really came to check to make sure he was all right. And everyone could feel a change in the air when Harry came to visit at the Burrow. No one knew how to talk to him, and the one time I remember seeing him, he was pale and barely moved from his seat in the living area."
Gabrielle remained thoughtfully quiet through Bill's speech and allowed him to continue, taking in all this new information. "Ron blames himself for Harry's disappearance in a way. He feels terrible about how everything was left off and couldn't even go back far enough to try and remember if anything seemed off besides the awkwardness of his visits at The Burrow. And now he regrets his jealousy. It was all a nasty bit of business, that's for sure."
Bill finished telling Gabrielle what he knew of the situation and let her sit in silence for a bit before asking, "Catch anything of interest to you in that explanation?"
Gabrielle breathed in an exhausted breath and replied, "Actually, yes. That all helped quite a bit. Thank you."
Bill nodded knowingly and patted her on the back. "You'll catch a cold if you stay out here much longer."
"And what about you?" Gabrielle asked in an attempt to give him a chance to open up as well.
Bill snorted, "I'm only up because ever since Fleur got pregnant, she snores like a dragon with a sinus infection."
Muffled laughter escaped the pair as they turned to go inside. "I just can't wait for her to start showing. It's like she's not even pregnant."
"She should start showing more around seventeen weeks, right?" Gabrielle said with a smile.
"Something like that. Not sure to be honest." Bill said, smiling at the thought.
Stopping at the foot of the stairs, Gabrielle turned to face Bill. "Thank you for talking with me tonight, Bill."
Bill smiled warmly and said, "Anytime, sis."
As Gabrielle ascended the steps, her mind was running even more than it had been before, but she seemed to come to a sort of peace after listening to Bill.
She more fully understood where Harry was in his life when he decided to fake his death and disappearance. It made more sense to her now, and she decided that she really needed to speak with him. Whether or not anything productive would come from the conversation, she didn't know. But her confusion was definitely lessened, and the dark shadows of her thoughts were no longer invading her mind in a whirlwind of confusion and anger.
When the weekend hit, she would go speak with him.
~Harry~
Friday afternoon rolled around, and Harry faithfully manned the front counter of Bernie's Apothecary. Bernie himself was in the back room, dissecting and distributing the batch of potions Harry had created that morning for the shop.
Every once in a while, Bernie would poke his head out to check on him. Harry knew Bernie was concerned because he was quieter than usual, but all Harry could do was wait and listen to Bernie's advice.
"A friend of mine once said, 'Worrying means you suffer twice.'" Pretty shitty advice in Harry's mind. But nonetheless, he carried on with his day, still wondering what Gabrielle was thinking, and who she told at this point.
The entire two weeks seemed to have taken more out of Harry than he realized as he was always tired even though he went straight to bed after work most days. He had not tried to contact Gabrielle, deciding to give her the space she needed, and often wondering if she would ever attempt to speak with him again.
Bernie came through the back and asked Harry to finish dividing up the potions after his inspection. "The potions are good. Take the Draught of Peace vials and stock the lower shelves. Any leftover ingredients we can sell as well. Get to it."
Harry went to the back room and started working without a word. Bernie watched him as he made his way to the back, sighed, and turned back to the counter.
A few hours passed and Harry barely registered the faint tinkle of the bell charm signaling that someone had walked through the door. He moved on to separating and packaging the extra ingredients and busied his hands as Bernie took care of the customer.
Harry was handling a rather delicate shipping of Ashwinder Eggs when Bernie poked his head through the archway to the back and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Jake, you have a visitor."
Harry looked up from his work. His brows furrowed in confusion, but he didn't say anything as he traded places with Bernie. One of Bernie's eyebrows raised in a knowing look and a slight smirk graced his lips, but Harry chose to ignore him.
What Harry saw froze him on the spot and sent his heart pounding.
Gabrielle was standing at the counter, hands together and looking at him with an equally surprised expression.
Harry gathered his wits and stepped forward cautiously, trying to judge Gabrielle's reaction to seeing him.
When he approached the counter, she said timidly, "Hello…Jake."
"Hello, Gabrielle," Harry said quietly, testing the waters. "How have you been?"
"I've been fine, thanks," Gabrielle said, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Look, I would like to speak with you. In private, if that's possible."
Instinctively, Harry's brows raised in surprise. He shuffled his feet and replied, "Of course. We could meet at my apartment after work today?"
Gabrielle nodded her head in agreement. She looked unsure and almost frightened, as though she didn't know what the right thing to say was. Her emotions marred her face as she battled with what to say next when Harry decided to say something in her stead.
"I'll answer any questions you may have. I hope I didn't muck things up too terrible."
"I just need some more clarification," Gabrielle responded. "I'll tell you my thoughts more tonight."
Harry nodded, satisfied with her answer. Her response made him feel slightly uneasy, but it was as good as he was going to get at this point. He swallowed hard and watched her leave the Apothecary. Only a few more hours to go.
~oOo~
Harry sat at his dining table, waiting for the protective charms he set around his apartment to be set off with Gabrielle's arrival.
The waiting set his nerves on edge as he thought of what kinds of questions she might ask. The more he thought of his responses to some possible questions, the more he felt like a coward for running and starting this life.
He didn't regret going into hiding, but the shame was still deep within him. Saying it out loud will only make it seem more real.
At last, the charms were triggered, and he instantly lifted them to admit Gabrielle into his flat.
He opened the door for her, and she stepped inside, scrutinizing his features as she moved to take a seat at the table. Harry's disguise was still on from the day's work, and when he took his seat, he removed them to fully reveal himself to her. He wanted to be as open and truthful to her as he possibly could.
As his disguise melted away, her eyes widened as though she was not expecting the transformation. She shook her head after realizing that was the whole reason for her visit and cleared her throat.
"I didn't mean to take you aback." Harry began. "I just want to be completely upfront with you. No more hiding."
"Thank you," Gabrielle said, intertwining her fingers. "I appreciate it. It's just going to take some getting used to. I've been falling for Jake this whole time, only to discover he doesn't exist."
Harry's heart sunk and his face fell. "Will this be a deal breaker for you?" He asked, looking down to her hands.
"Not necessarily," Gabrielle stated. "Initially, I honestly didn't know what to think. I've had a chance to clear my head though."
"I have to ask," Harry said. "Did you tell anyone?"
Shifting in her seat, Gabrielle answered, "No. Although I did have a talk with Bill a few nights ago when they were visiting. Which was a major reason why I came to terms so early."
Harry's face shifted into an expression of horror and worry before Gabrielle quickly responded, "I didn't mention you being here or disguised. And he didn't say anything about you being hidden or disguised either, so I think you're okay."
Harry let out a relieved, yet slightly unnerved sigh. He ruffled his hair and asked, "So what did you two talk about. Bill seems to know an awful lot."
"I asked him what all happened before your disappearance and he told me quite a bit about your friend Ron and Ginny."
Harry leaned back and felt a familiar stab of pain through his chest as he thought about Ginny and his fight with Ron. His emotions had been so raw the recent weeks that he didn't even try to cover it up, and he knew Gabrielle could see the faint traces of his agony.
"J..Harry, I'm sorry," Gabrielle said quietly. "That must have been really hard."
With unseeing eyes staring off into nothing, Harry responded, "I thought I was going to marry her."
Gabrielle didn't say anything or move, unsure of how to take this comment. They were dating after all, and a little too late, Harry realized his mistake. "I didn't say that to make you feel any less important to me, Gabrielle. It's honestly how I felt at that moment. And now that I've begun to think about my reasons for leaving a bit more, I may not have been completely over her. Or at least I may not have been ready to lose someone else dear to me. If I were honest with myself, that would probably be the biggest reason for not telling you who I was earlier. My name alone has caused nothing but problems since the day I was born."
Gabrielle nodded in understanding. Harry hoped that meant she could see where he was coming from in regards to this topic and waited for her next question or comment.
"Bill said he talked to Ron after your disappearance," Gabrielle said. Harry's intake of breath at the mention of Bill speaking with Ron was very subtle, but still sent a whirlwind of emotions through Harry. "Ron blames himself for your disappearance."
Harry pressed his lips together and scanned the room. He closed his eyes as his brows came together in a pained expression. "I know he never meant to say the things he did. But even after all we'd been through, he could never quite forgive me."
"Why was he so upset?"
"He was upset with me because of something I said to the reporters for the Daily Prophet. We had agreed not to reveal the true nature of Voldemort's death. We alluded to the fact that he had Horcruxes made, but never published it outright. The reporter asked what I did specifically to defeat him, and all I said was that no one else would have been able to kill him. I wasn't thinking the way Ron was, and in hindsight, it was rather pompous and selfish of me to say that.
Ron was upset as was Hermione, and then my breakup with Ginny made everything worse."
Gabrielle scratched her head. "I don't fully understand why that would make him so upset as to jeopardize your relationship?"
Harry took a deep breath and began to explain to her the intricacies of the Horcruxes, their life on the run against Death Eaters and snatchers alike, and the fact that Harry himself was an additional Horcrux that Voldemort had not intended to create.
He spared no detail, going into as much depth as he could. She was willing to listen, and he was going to take advantage of her openness.
He had not visited the details of the war in many years and had to catch himself giving the 'publicly approved' version more than once.
By the end of his tale, he further went on to explain the details about after the war. The expectations of his closest friends and the public at large, more depth into before and after his falling out with Ron and Ginny, and how everything seemed to fall apart without his control.
"I eventually just felt I would be better off leaving them all alone. I felt like a burden whenever I visited The Burrow. I felt that enough living with my aunt and uncle, I wasn't about to subject myself to that again."
Gabrielle was immediately curious. "Your aunt and uncle? The muggle ones you lived with?"
Ah. Harry thought. I forget not many people know that bit of information other than the Weasleys.
Running his hand through his hair again, Harry said, "Aaahh, that's probably a story for another time."
Hours had passed before he finally finished, answering any question that came to Gabrielle during his explanation. They even attempted to clarify everything that Harry had told her as Jake during various interactions and dates to decipher what was truth and what was fiction.
By the end of it, Gabrielle looked as though she felt a great deal better about the situation. Harry also felt better as he was able to finally tell someone unbiased about everything that had transpired in his life up until that point. He never realized how much he needed to talk to someone about it, despite that in the back of his mind he still wasn't sure if Gabrielle forgave him or not for running from his problems and lying to her.
They both let out satisfied sighs before Harry asked, "Did you have any other questions that I could answer?"
Gabrielle nodded thoughtfully, "Who else knows?"
"Just you and Bernie," Harry said. "And I plan on keeping it that way. If there's a chance that even a rat will see me, I want my glamours in place and for you to address me as Jake. I know I've caused a lot of heartache to a lot of people with my disappearance, But I stand by my decision. So far it's been one of the better decisions I've made and I want it to be long term."
"How did Bernie find out?" Gabrielle asked, intrigued. She tilted her head in her usual curious gesture.
"He found out the night of the ball we went to together." Harry elaborated. "He recognized the Elder Wand. I left it in the shop that night for safe keeping in the hopes no one would recognize me. I knew Ron and Hermione would be there since they were given free seats to attend. I didn't want to risk it."
"I see." Gabrielle murmured. After another short pause, she spoke again. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. I was extremely angry with you when I first found out."
Harry gulped and nodded. "And I completely understand why."
She nodded and continued. "And I'm not going to say that this will be an easy transition for me. I'm so used to Jake now, seeing you as Harry will feel like I'm cheating on you." She drew in a breath and gathered her thoughts while Harry waited patiently for her to say more. "However, after speaking with you tonight, I feel much better about the whole situation. And I'm willing to give this a try."
Harry almost gasped, his intake of breath was so quick. "Gabrielle, do you forgive me?"
She reached out and gently held his hands over the table. "Yes Harry, I forgive you. And I'll stay here and bother your goblin face and eat at odd muggle restaurants and explore the tops of mountains with you till you really piss me off."
Harry let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and bent down till his face was touching her hands in relief. He squeezed her hands, just to know they were there and breathlessly said, "Thank you. I was afraid I'd lost you."
Gabrielle squeezed his hands back. "No, not yet. However, if you ever lie to me again, we will have a problem and need to reevaluate. But I can understand why you kept this from me for so long, even if I don't like it or don't approve. But I'd like to know who Harry is more-so than Jake from this point on."
"Of course," Harry said, nodding wholeheartedly. "I promise."
Gabrielle gave him one of her real, dazzling smiles for the first time and Harry's heart soared. Things might actually be turning around for him.
He returned her smile, and they both stood up and stretched. Gabrielle needed to return home before too long, so she gathered her belongings and headed toward the door.
"We'll talk again soon." She said. Harry recast his glamour spells, opened the door for her and she turned around as though by instinct to give him a kiss. She stopped herself, nodded reassuringly, and stepped out the door.
Harry almost expected a kiss as well, but could not blame her. He would give her the time she needed to process everything she learned today. It was definitely a step in the right direction, and he couldn't have been happier with the outcome. Now came the task of rebuilding their relationship.
For the first time that night, Harry went to bed feeling better than he had in months.