What could I do? No, what couldn't I do? The horrifying question is, what couldn't I tell Jacob?

It wasn't right. To tell him I loved him. It's not like there isn't anything wrong with it. Sure, I loved Jacob as a friend. But of course, I think I set my proximities straight. I set the boundaries. I think Jacob understood that. Of course he did. He's my best friend.

From the very beginning of this day, I couldn't keep myself in control; let alone control my fidgeting. Charlie also couldn't help but stare sideways from his paper when I was in front of him during breakfast. I was much too fidgety.

Those three words haunted me.

"I love you."

They kept playing in my head like a song that I can't keep out. It was driving me crazy. I tried, for once, laughing at myself. Why was I so berserk? I took this all wrongly. In the wrong perspective. I know Jacob would understand. He'd known the meaning behind it.

If he did, then why am I acting so different? I should calm myself down. Chin up, head held high. I can do this. Maybe at lunch I could talk to him. Just talk to him and tell him that what I said wasn't what he thought had meant. Right. I was going to tell him. . .

"Ms. Cullen?" I stopped short from my reverie. I looked up towards my teacher who seemingly called my name but didn't. He was looking towards the right part of the room. He was looking at Alice.

Of course I'm not Bella Cullen. Why would I think that. . . ?

"I'm sorry. I wasn't quite paying attention." Alice responded. When I looked towards her direction, it looked like she had just seen a vision. And she looks like she'd been terrified of it.

"Bella, are you alright?" Angela, on my left, asked me.

"Yes, of course I am." I answered boringly.

"Are you sure?"

"Should I be?"

"I think you should be. But I guess you're not." She said patiently. She looked down and looked at me again, not paying any attention at all to the discussion. "You're shaking, do you realize that?"

So I'm not really good at controlling myself. My mind's controlled but physically? No, I've got to disagree.

"It must be a really unlucky day today, Ang. Sorry." I smiled at her sheepishly and looked towards the front so that I could pay attention again.

Angela has been with me all morning. She knew that I wasn't stable enough. I lost balance a couple of times and tripped but good thing Angela was with me. She was being my guardian angel today.

When the lunch queue was up, I didn't bother to get anything. Angela got a trayful of food. Huh, guess I'm not the only one who's being indifferent.

"Angela, that's so much food." I said almost plainly. I sounded like I was so distracted.

"Oh. Ben commented that I was too thin and I thought so too, so I decided that maybe I have to get some fat in me." She chuckled. I chuckled along with her.

When we got to our seats, we made sure that it was far from Jessica's table. We both knew that they dislike me so I disregarded the chances of ever being accepted by them ever again. And when we also got to our seats, I (personally) made sure that we were far away from the table of the Cullens.

"So, Bella." Says Angela, catching my attention. "We're far from the Cullens today."

"Really? I didn't notice." I answered dully. I was really sick of lying now. I had to do it everyday.

"Bella, I know you. You can't lie to me. You did this on purpose. But good thing Edward isn't there." She murmured and giggled at the same time.

"Well, maybe I did. But it's for a very good reason." I still answered her plainly. It was like I was avoiding her happy aura. I felt bad for her right now. "Angela, I trust you with my whole life. I have to blurt this out."

The traces of joy on Angela's face disappeared. She suddenly became serious and ready to listen. "What is it?"

"I. . ." I stuttered. "I'm still in love with Edward."

"That's not so bad. How's that bad?"

"It's bad because I told Jacob that I love him." I blurted out the words so fast and low that I hope Angela could hear me.

"Oh. Oh. . . Well it's not. . . how do you feel about tha—?"

"Hey Bella! Angela. Nice afternoon, ain't it?" Jacob suddenly interrupted Angela's sentence. I was not ready for this.

I felt myself tense. Every muscle of my being was frozen. I was so frozen to the point that I might even doubt that my cardiac muscles were still intact and in use.

Jacob took a seat on my left, facing Angela. I could see from my peripherals that he was really happy.

"So, Bella. How's English?" Ugh. He sounded like Mike. I wanted to make his mouth shut for once.

"It was great. I got an A+." I was definitely not amazed at announcing this A+. I looked at the table so that my hair could cover my face. I looked to my right and mouthed to Angela, help me.

"O-kay." Murmured Jacob, obviously noticing my accent. "How was your night?"

"Jacob! Uhm. . Bella can't talk right now. She has a stomachache. She hasn't been talking to me straight all morning." Angela interjected. She really is turning into my guardian angel today and also the hero of the day.

"Whoa, Bella. Are you alright?" I put a hand on my stomach to show that I had a "real" stomachache. I nodded at Jacob.

"Jake, I'm alright. Please give me a moment." I pleaded him.

For a moment, I tried to think. What was I going to tell him? Am I supposed to tell him that I still loved Edward and I also love him? I tried to picture the outcome in my head. It didn't look really great. There was smashing and pounding and blood.

That last thought shouldn't have entered my mind because the next thing I knew, I could smell it. Imaginarily. I became really sick. I think I might hurtle something out but I had to stop it.

Good thing my stomach cooperated. I was intact.

"Angela, can I talk to you for a second?" Oh God, no. No, no, no. It was Ben Cheney.

"Su-sure, baby." She looked at me cautiously, trying to think if she should go for it or not.

"In the other table if you will?" Oh no. He was going to take Angela away.

"You should go see what he wants, Ang." I tried to tell her humorously. Angela nodded and Ben laughed.

"Thanks, Bella." He grabbed Angela's lunch tray and left.

Well, whoopdeedoo. There went my luck.

"Hey, Jake! I think I'm feeling a bit better now." I told him. I hope that it wasn't obvious that I was faking.

"That's good." He held my hands. "I, uh, thought about last night." I really didn't want to talk about this right now. No, rephrase. I never want to talk about this.

"Okay. So what do you think?" I tried to smile a little. I wanted to remove my hands right now.

"I'm not really good at this. So, I'm gonna tell you straightforward, alright?" I nodded. "I love you and surprisingly, you love me too."

I fell silent for a while. I don't want to take this in.

Jacob stared at me for a long while. He was probably waiting for a response but sadly, I didn't have any fake throws at him.

Maybe I should give up. Maybe I should keep it real to myself. I needed to be honest to myself every once and a while. Today might be a good time to start. I was nervous with myself. Like there were two parts of me that were totally different personas.

That was when my eyes suddenly opened to the truth: I loved Jacob.

I didn't know where that came from but I was positively sure that I love him. I just don't know where to position myself.

Every spark of our friendship reappeared in my mind. All my life he has been there for me so now maybe I was prepared to take it in to the higher level. The higher level meant welcoming him. It was not as strong as commitment but it was similar to that.

Jacob huffed and I guessed that he was already becoming impatient. I might as well tell him the truth now.

"A relationship, huh?" I shyly told him.

"That was what I was thinking." He let go of one hand and took something from his jacket. It was a box.

I wanted to scream. What was this? A movie? I'm not twenty one. I'm not even legal enough to drive! Why would he ask me to marry him?

I wanted to slap myself. No, he's not asking me to marry him. Of course not. He knows better than that.

"I'm not going to ask you to marry me, Bella. You can breathe." I started breathing again as he instructed me to do. He opened the box and took the ring inside. He placed it on my middle finger. "Now, this is not an engagement ring, that's why I didn't put it on your ring finger. It's sort of like a friendship ring but not quite.

"We're not friends but we're not lovers, that's what the ring stands for. We're in between. Bella, I want to be yours as much as I want you to be mine. All I need for us to be like lovers is your approval. Will you give it to me?"

Once again, I found it hard to breathe. Yes or no? What's the answer? Oh no, this is going to be a long day. I gulped. "Yes."

"Yes? Yes!" He slapped his hand on the table and stood up. "Whooo!"

"Jacob, sit down! Everybody is going to want to know what's happening." I snapped at him. Jacob sat down but managed to gain the eyes of everyone in the cafeteria. Including the Cullens. Even Edward was there to witness everything. Edward doesn't look so satisfied at all.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you." Jacob kissed my forehead. He smiled calmly.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I kissed his cheek.

I suddenly felt good. Like the air in this room suddenly felt lighter. I felt that everything was suddenly falling into place like I had wanted them to.

I never knew in myself that I love Jacob. For the first time in my life, I made my eyes open to the new direction that my life was headed on to. A new direction with Jacob. I felt that everything was going to go the way that I had wanted them to. There would be no obstructions. There would be no war. There would be peace.

Negativity had finally left me. There was, never again, the chance to think of the things I needed to think about always. The war between what I know and what I feel was finally over. I think I finally realized that all I had missing was Jacob.

This was healthy. This was life. This is what I want. All of the things in the world went into place and there was nothing alive to stop us.

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AN: Bella's in love with Jacob now! What do you think? In my opinion, as the author, I think the chapter's a bit off. Haha. I can't quite put myself in Bella's shoes because I really can't forget the chapter that I've lost and found just an hour ago that I've written a year ago. The chapter is actually AHEAD of the ones I've already written. Haha. I just can't seem to imagine the things that I've written. It's like, hard to believe!

So anyway, please REVIEW! You would know soon enough what would happen. I also remembered the deleted chapter! GREAT! :D So now I think I have a twist in the story for Jacob and Edward. Haha. REVIEW PLEASE! :) Thanks.