Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Suggested Listening: "Bones" by Ben Howard, "Halcyon" by Ellie Goulding, "Sweater Weather" by The Neighborhood, "Lonely Hands" by Angus & Julia Stone, "Youth" by Daughter
Sighing heavily, Leah trailed her fingers over the numerous bottles of wine on the shelf of the corner grocery a few blocks from her loft, hand pausing momentarily over a bottle of merlot she'd tried before. Taking a deep breath, she tried to squelch the weird, somewhat lost feeling deep in her gut.
She didn't think it would feel so odd, trying to remember what normal, less broken people did with their Friday nights – Friday nights that didn't include the bar she normally called home.
The itch was still there, buried somewhere. It was like a debilitating habit – an addiction that wouldn't be easy to break.
But that wasn't happening. Not anymore.
If she was going to have any real chance at mending the pieces of her life, she had to go cold turkey. Cut the problem off at the source. Make a clean break.
Starting with Friday night.
In her purse was a movie she'd picked up at the video store she'd spotted a few doors down after getting off her train from the city, even if she wasn't sure she was going to watch it. The idea was stuck in her head though, some foreign notion that involved it, a pair of sweatpants, and a bowl of popcorn in her lap.
Come to think of it, she was pretty sure she didn't even own a fucking pair of sweatpants...
Leah shook her head, trying to rid herself of the ridiculous thoughts, realizing they didn't matter. So long as she didn't do what she'd been doing. What she had done before, because that was a better step than none at all.
And she'd taken the first step she needed to the night before.
Closing her eyes, the memories were still loud and clear in her mind.
When she'd finally pulled away from Embry, still standing outside his hotel room, he'd smiled at her before reaching around and quietly unlocking the door. He didn't speak – didn't invite her in – but a part of her knew she couldn't leave. Going home wasn't an option. She didn't want to be alone, still somewhat unsure of her determination and whether or not it would see her through the night. If it would still be there in the morning.
So she followed him into the darkness of the room, one hand subconsciously reaching out, capturing the hem of his t-shirt between shaking fingers. Hanging on, even as he slowed down slightly but pretended not to notice.
Eventually, she let him go, closing the door and allowing her body to relax against the cool wood. Embry took a few steps into the silent room before turning around, catching her gaze.
"I'll be right back," he whispered, soft eyes holding hers for a moment and his voice nearly getting lost in the darkness.
Leah nodded, watching him make his way across the room, turning on the light in the bathroom before closing the door.
She lost track of how long she stood there, seconds ticking by before she finally straightened, absentmindedly kicking off her heels and leaving them where they landed by the door. Leaving the lights off, her feet carried her across the room even though she wasn't completely sure why. Hands moved, reaching behind her, inexplicably steady fingers finding the small zipper on her dress. Lowering it in one swift movement, she allowed the garment to fall to the floor. The sounds of Embry moving inside the bathroom barely registered as she stepped over the heap in which it landed.
Again, she wasn't sure why she had done it – what she was hoping to accomplish – when she leaned forward, hands pressing into the plush comforter covering the immaculately made bed. Why she crawled onto it, crossing the short distance before reaching the pillows and allowing her body, clothed in nothing but her underwear, to stretch out on her side. To feel the icy cold material against her flesh.
She'd always avoided beds...
But all she knew was she was still exhausted. Still so tired.
She didn't want to leave. She wanted to be there...where she felt safe, knowing if she woke up in the morning and Embry's face was the first thing she saw, she wouldn't forget. She would remember his words.
She would remember he was there, and she would remember why she was too.
Her eyes were still wide and alert when the bathroom door opened, flooding the room in light for a single moment before it once again was plunged into darkness. Leah held her breath, listening as Embry hesitated in the doorway. As his feet finally carried him toward the bed, the sound of every movement loud and clear in her ears.
Leah still didn't breathe when she felt the bed behind her give way beneath his weight, her entire body stiff, waiting for him to say something – to protest. To tell her whatever she was doing wasn't a good idea, considering what they'd just been through and what Embry had witnessed earlier that night.
Swallowing thickly, a deeply embedded part of her expected him to send her away.
But Embry never spoke a word.
Leah finally drew in a deep, relieved breath the moment she felt that consuming heat at her back. When a strong arm wrapped around her body without a single sound, pulling her closer to that warmth. Wrapping her in it the same way he had minutes earlier when they were standing in the hallway, the same way he had so many years ago when her life had irrevocably changed. Before it all fell apart, back when she was terrified and alone and in danger of losing herself completely.
Embry didn't move. He simply held her.
And she let him.
One by one, every tense, exhausted muscle in Leah's body relaxed. She finally closed her eyes, her entire body curling into his, wanting to lose herself in all of it. She listened to him breathe, each exhale warm as it pushed through her hair, his mouth unmoving even though it rested gently against the back of her head.
Neither of them moved, but it wasn't long before she closed her eyes, Embry's even breaths – the rise and fall of his chest against her back, the comfort of his arm wrapped tightly around her – pulling Leah into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When her eyes opened the next morning, it didn't take long for that heat to soak back into her senses. Leah held her breath, realizing neither one of them had moved throughout the night.
A part of her didn't want to disturb that.
That was all it took, a few moments at the beginning of a new day – Embry's arm still draped across her body, the sound of soft snores filtering through the early-morning light – for her to remember every word that passed between them the night before. To once again feel everything that pushed through her veins in that car. What she felt when she was sitting outside Embry's door, and when he pulled her into his arms after she told him she would try.
To realize it was still there.
All of it, and so was that strength, tucked right beside a fierce – and maybe even premature – determination to do better.
Blinking, the bottles of wine reappeared in front of Leah. Hesitating for a single moment, she took a deep, cleansing breath, eventually letting her hand move from the bottle of merlot. She continued down the aisle till she reached the whites, her eyes landing on a Sauvignon blanc with a colorful label.
Something different.
Pulling her lip between her teeth, she reached up, deft fingers swiping it from the shelf and depositing it in the basket hanging from her arm.
Walking slowly back up the aisle, Leah's mind drifted, thinking of dinner. The thought didn't stay long, interrupted by the trilling of her cell phone.
Shifting the basket to her other arm, Leah reached into her purse, rummaging through its contents until she located the phone. Pulling it out in one swift movement, her gaze fell on the caller ID, a subtle warmth crawling through her veins the moment she did.
A slight smile pulled at her lips when she hit the button to answer it, lifting the phone to her ear.
"You better have a Brat Pack movie to contribute to my Friday night in or else I'm hanging up on you," she said in exchange for a greeting, letting her eyes trail over the bottles of wine to her left.
On the other end of the line, Embry snorted in surprise. "Well, lucky for you, I remembered to pack my copy of Pretty in Pink before I left."
Laughing, Leah welcomed the way Embry made her feel – like she wasn't facing a night she wasn't sure she could handle. Like her idea wasn't the most ridiculous thing she could come up with. Reaching into her purse to snag her wallet, she precariously balanced the shopping basket on her hip and the phone against her shoulder.
She and Embry went their separate ways that morning – Leah back to her apartment to shower, change, and face two days worth of work she knew she'd have to catch up on, and Embry to his meeting with the head of the company that wanted to invest money in the new garage. When Leah finally showed up at the office, she dodged Autumn's twenty questions about the day before – most of them skeptical in nature and probing about the sickness Leah hadn't actually come down with. Eventually she sent Autumn to a not-so-important meeting with a smaller client just to get the other woman out of her hair for a couple hours.
Finally leaving work for the day, she kept her phone close by. Staring out the train window on her way back to Bucktown, a part of her thought about calling Embry to see how the meeting went, but another part didn't want to push it. She wasn't sure how far he would step onto the welcome mat she'd barely placed outside the door.
And Leah wasn't sure how far she could step onto it just yet.
Yet she couldn't ignore the relief she felt standing in the aisle of the store, catching herself not minding so much – recognizing that same warmth, even though it somehow felt different – as she listened to his familiar laugh dwindle on the other end of the line.
"Perfect," she murmured, letting a moment of silence pass between them before pausing in the middle of the aisle. Frowning, she could hear the sounds of many voices on his end, like he was caught in the bustle of a large crowd of people. "Where are you?"
"Some place called Whole Foods," he replied eventually, and Leah pulled her lip between her teeth to keep from laughing. "I asked concierge for a grocery store, and this is where they sent me. This place is fucking...overwhelming."
"Yeah," she murmured. "It's a little much. A far cry from the Thriftway in Forks."
"No shit," he countered. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure it has what I'm looking for...I just need to find it first."
Leah fell in line behind a small handful of people at the single checkout inside the store. "And what are you looking for exactly?"
Embry chuckled. "Dinner."
Leah's mind drifted for a moment while she chewed on his response. Granted, it had been dark in his hotel room, but she couldn't remember a kitchen hidden anywhere inside the suite.
She opened her mouth to respond, aimlessly tossing a magazine into the basket, before Embry interrupted her.
"Speaking of that...do you have plans tonight?"
Taking a deep breath, earlier thoughts came back to her quickly, eyes falling on the basket containing the magazine and the bottle of wine she'd picked out at random. Heaving a forlorn sigh, she shook her head. "No..."
"Good," Embry came back, the metallic sound of a voice over a loudspeaker echoing through the earpiece of Leah's phone. "Because these dinner plans involve you."
Lips parting, Leah's eyebrows arched in surprise. "Oh, really?"
"Oh, yes," he replied knowingly. "Where are you right now?"
Smirking, Leah shook her head, the tone of his voice nothing if not determined. Letting her know without saying it that regardless of what she thought, there would be no opposition to his idea – and it wasn't up for discussion.
But deep down, Leah wasn't sure she wanted to protest.
"About four blocks from my place," she answered.
"Good," he said quickly. "Go home when you're done. I'll be there in an hour."
"Embry..." Leah mumbled, not entirely convinced that what she was about to say was what she really wanted. "There's gotta be about a thousand better things to do in Chicago on a Friday night than babysit me."
Embry scoffed. "Who said anything about babysitting?" he retorted. "I need to eat, you need to eat, and I need a kitchen. Problem solved."
Leah blinked, staring blankly at the back of the bald head of the person in front of her. "You're cooking?"
Silence. "Is that so hard to believe?"
"Well...no, but..."
"But nothing," he cut in, Leah's mouth still hanging open. "Wherever you are, go home when you're done. I'll be there in about an hour or so. Maybe a little longer...if I can ever find where they hide the meat in this place."
Laughing in spite of herself, Leah shook her head, her stomach suddenly a huge fucking ball of nerves as the reality of what was going to happen that night set in. A part of her unable to not feel like it would be some sort of a test – a do-over for both of them while, at the same time, the first attempt by Embry to stick his toe in the door she had barely opened for him the night before.
But even she knew it was something she couldn't argue – the necessity of it. The knowledge that she had welcomed it, despite only saying a few words.
Still, it all felt new. Foreign, but in a completely different way, and that time she had nothing to hide behind. No walls, no boundaries. Whether she liked it or not, she'd let her guard down the night before just long enough for Embry to climb in with her.
He was there...and he wasn't going anywhere. That much she did know. That much she'd figured out already, and a large part of her couldn't refute the fact she was thankful for it, even if she didn't know how to say it. Even if she didn't know how to tell him.
So she said the next best thing.
"Fine," she gave in, offering a small smile to the checker as he greeted her. "You remember how to get there?"
"Yup," Embry answered surely. "So I'll see you in an hour?"
Leah nodded, swallowing what little anxiety lingered in her throat.
"See you in an hour."
Leah was standing in the middle of her kitchen – tightly gripping the neck of the wine bottle under one hand and using the other to twist the corkscrew further into the top of it – when she heard the knock on her door.
Taking a deep breath, she released her grip on it, wiping clammy palms on the front of her shorts before turning and hurrying toward the entryway. She paused for a moment in front of the mirror that hung opposite the door. She'd gone no frills for the night – tattered jean shorts, a simple white tank top and her midnight hair swept up into a messy bun.
Leah closed her eyes, unsure of why her appearance suddenly mattered. Embry had seen her in worse and less and the way she looked in that moment was nothing compared to that. Groaning quietly, she turned around, taking the few steps needed to reach the door. She unlocked the deadbolt, letting trembling fingers curl around the doorknob.
She opened it to a grinning Embry, who was holding a paper bag under one arm and a six-pack of beer in the other hand.
Leaning against the doorframe, Leah shook her head, laughing before she could stop herself. "I have booze here, you know," she chuckled, pointing at the container of bottles in his right hand.
Embry lifted one eyebrow teasingly, eyes never leaving hers. "I brought my own this time." His lips pursed together, still watching Leah as she found herself unable to look away, captivated by how his expression closely resembled the one she had seen a week earlier in the bar. The one she'd seen for the first time in six years, an expression that carried a lightness – an exuberance – she'd stolen the moment she opened her mouth and spoke to him.
The eyebrow went back up. "Can I come in?"
Blinking, Leah nodded wildly, taking a step back. "Yeah...of course. Sorry."
Holding on to the door, she stepped aside long enough for Embry to walk by, closing it behind him. Once he was out of sight, she paused for a moment, taking another deep breath to gather her bearings. To push all the inexplicable nerves as far down as she could before following him into the kitchen.
Embry was standing at the kitchen island when she walked in, pulling packages out of the grocery bag.
"I like your place," he said quietly without looking up from his task.
Leah smiled as she approached the island, sliding into one of the stools she'd pulled up to it earlier. Reaching forward, she pulled over the bottle of wine to finish uncorking it. "Thanks," she murmured, finally removing the cork from the bottle. As she untwisted it from the utensil, she let her eyes wander over the spread of groceries Embry was placing over the countertop. Italian sausage, fresh basil, mushrooms...
"So...what exactly are you making?"
Grinning easily, Embry didn't look up from what he was doing. "Spaghetti...well, my version of it."
Lifting her own eyebrow in curiosity, Leah poured herself a glass of wine – still watching Embry as she did – trying to remember any time from before when he had indicated an interest in cooking. Regardless, she came up short.
"Wanna help?" Embry's gaze lifted, sincerity plastered across his expression.
Eyes widening slightly, Leah shook her head. "You don't want my help, trust me...pretty sure I could burn water if I tried hard enough."
Rolling his eyes, Embry folded up the paper bag and placed it on the counter behind him. "Where do you keep the knives?"
"Top drawer, right next to the stove."
Following her instructions, Embry retrieved a chef's knife from the drawer, bringing it back to the island and sliding it across the butcher-block surface toward Leah. "Pretty sure you can't screw anything up by helping me chop stuff."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Leah grumbled, a quiet chuckle following her words when Embry handed her the basil and garlic. "You might lose a thumb from all the way over there." When Embry laughed, she let one corner of her mouth lift with an amused smile. "I definitely did not get my mother's cooking genes..."
Embry paused for a moment, watching her as she opened the container of basil. "How is your mom?" he asked tentatively.
Leah shrugged, ignoring how her heart pounded instinctively beneath the question. How the subtle ache in her chest appeared, the same one that showed up almost every time she thought about either her mother or her brother.
"You tell me...you probably talk to her more than I do."
"Why do you say that?" Embry's voice was farther away, thick with a nonchalance she knew he was using on purpose. Still, Leah glanced up to see him searching her cupboards for pots and pans.
Swallowing, she took a calming breath, pulling out a few sprigs of basil from the packaging. "I only talk to her every few months or so, and when I do, it's not for very long." Lining up the herbs beneath the knife, Leah began to chop.
"She never said anything, you know..."
Looking up from what she was doing, Leah frowned at Embry's back as he filled a pot of water at the sink. "What do you mean?"
"About where you were," Embry replied, still not turning around. "We would ask...a lot, but she would never give us the answers we wanted."
"You asked her?" The surprise in Leah's voice, to hear Embry talk about how he and the others had attempted to find her, wasn't something she could hide.
Finally, he turned from the sink, his gaze finding hers as he approached the stove. "Yeah. Like I said...a lot. But I guess if there's one thing you did get from her, it was the fact you're both stubborn as hell."
The small truth of it allowed the smile to stay where it was, but inside, Leah couldn't quite swallow back the subtle flare of regret and anger she felt listening to Embry talk about it. Anger toward her mother, and anger toward herself.
A part of her couldn't blame her mother for what she'd done, for simply doing what Leah told her to do – to keep her mouth shut, to listen when Leah asked her not to tell anyone where she was. She never wanted to be found and she made it perfectly clear to her mother, using every tactic she could think of to keep her quiet. Threatening to never come home again if she breathed a word of it to anyone, even though in reality, Leah never had any intention of going back to La Push.
The anger in Leah's stomach melted quickly into a crippling remorse, but she kept it inside, letting her eyes follow Embry as he moved around the kitchen. Leah's actions, the belief that her pack had never tried to find her. But more so, it was the hard place she had put her own mother in – a spot somewhere between a fierce sense of loyalty toward her daughter and the fear of never seeing her again, suddenly slapped her in the face with a jarring clarity.
But after a handful of years, and especially in that moment, it wasn't difficult to see the other side of it.
Sue Clearwater had given up on her daughter – on the hope of ever getting through to her. Of ever getting her to come to her senses. She'd lost faith in Leah's threats. She'd given up, thinking her daughter was too far gone.
Cutting her losses, and Leah knew it, so she'd stopped trying right along with her mother.
And that hurt worst of all, knowing that was something that lay ahead of her – something she would someday have to fix, even if she had no idea how. Even though she knew deep down, she was the one who had broken it in the first place.
Still, a part of her couldn't help but think – the same part watching Embry's fluid movements as he navigated her kitchen – that maybe her mother could have fucking tried a little harder too.
But Leah pushed it from her mind, saving it someplace inside her for later, focusing her stare on the basil spread out across the island. Focusing on the night in front of her and reminding herself to take it all one step at a time.
"So how did the meeting go this morning?"
Pouring olive oil into a frying pan that now rested on top of the stove, Embry turned around, a blinding smile on his face.
"I sign the papers next week."
Letting go of the knife, Leah couldn't help it as her mouth fell open in astonishment. "Oh, my god! Embry...that's fantastic!"
Leaning against the counter next to the stove, Embry crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I know. Jake was there over conference call and he liked everything he heard and so did the old man, so...everything's pretty much a go."
Smiling, Leah brushed the basil into a small pile before reaching for the garlic. "Well, congratulations, big shot." Looking up, she winked at Embry, who still had the grin attached to his lips.
"Thanks," he said quietly, his eyes dancing as he watched her. "I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet. Probably gonna need at least another day or two to wrap my head around the fact it's actually real, you know? That it's actually happening."
"So, you never told me," Leah continued, looking up from the garlic, "where's the new garage going to be?"
"Just outside of Port Angeles," Embry replied, not moving from his spot, his gaze still fixed on Leah. "Jake's got his eye on a building for sale on the west side of town near the highway. Now that the meeting is over, I'd imagine he'll probably be heading up there Monday to get the ball rolling. They're not asking much for it, and the market is better there than anywhere else in the county."
Leah wasn't sure why she frowned, the sound of the knife clicking against the kitchen island the only one she could hear. "So, you'd have to move there?"
"I don't know yet," he responded, finally taking a step forward and transferring the sausage to the counter next to the stove, unwrapping it as he continued. "I haven't really decided what I want to do, although it would probably be easier if I did move there. It would be an almost forty-five minute commute one way if I didn't."
"That'll probably be an...adjustment," Leah ventured, using her index finger to clear the knife of garlic shards, a part of her instinctively wandering back to her own memories – her own moments – where she couldn't keep her mind from home. When she couldn't help but wonder about the people she left behind, how they were doing, how life was without her.
How things might have different if she'd kept them close by...
"I wouldn't be too far from home," Embry interrupted her thoughts, negating them without even realizing it. "I think that would make it easier."
Leah didn't reply, part of her buried deep down wanting to agree with him but failing to materialize a response. Instead, she took a deep breath, letting her curiosity roam. Another part of her wanted to know more – for him to tell her more than she allowed him to say during any of the time they'd spent together that week.
To hear everything else she'd missed in his life.
"So where are you living now?"
"In an apartment down by the marina," he answered, the sausage sizzling as soon as it hit the hot skillet. "Turned eighteen and pretty much got the hell out of my mom's place. It's not much, but I can walk to work from there. It's small, and nothing like this," Embry peeked over his shoulder, nodding toward Leah's loft, "but it's helped me save up money to hopefully buy my own place someday soon...and it's enough for just me."
"Just you?" Leah chuckled, pausing to take a sip of wine. "You cook, you have your own place, you're about to own a business..." She leaned back in her chair, offering him a coy, curious smile when he peered over his shoulder. "You think one of the girls on the rez woulda snatched you up by now."
With a shy smirk, Embry lowered his gaze, shaking his head. "You would think."
Leah wasn't sure why she asked, but the words fell quietly from her lips anyway. "Have there been any? Girls, I mean."
Embry's smile stayed where it was, but he still didn't look at her. "There've been a few. Longest lasted almost a year, but..." That time, he took a breath, meeting her eyes. "Since I couldn't tell any of them...about the pack, I mean...it got kind of hard after a while to come up with excuses for disappearing for hours at a time without them thinking something completely different..."
Leah swallowed roughly, knowing what he meant as she grimaced behind her hand.
Knowing perfectly well what a life like his – a life she used to have – could cost them.
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again to find him watching her. "I'm sorry, Em," she said quietly.
He shrugged, shaking his head before he turned away. "Oh, well. I got over it...everything happens for a reason, and when it's not meant to be...it's not."
Leah's stomach twisted at his words, a part of her thinking he hadn't meant them for just himself.
"What about you?" he asked tentatively, unexpectedly interrupting her thoughts. "Did you ever try to date?"
Leah's insides tightened instinctively, everything inside her programmed to shut down at the question. To run from a subject she usually avoided. Taking a deep breath, she tried to push it down. To respond differently. To find the strength somewhere inside her to answer the question – and to give him an honest response.
"No," was the best she could come up with, shaking her head and glancing up, meeting Embry's eyes and realizing she didn't need to say more for him to understand.
But that didn't stop the words from coming out.
"Last night, you asked me why..." she murmured, watching as Embry slowly turned to face her. Abandoning what he was doing as he simply watched her, his jaw tight and his expression stoic. "It was easier that way. I got what I thought I needed and I thought there was nothing to lose when I did. What happened before..." She paused, swallowing thickly and forcing the rest of the words out. "...couldn't happen if I did things that way."
She looked back to Embry in time to see the flicker of soft understanding pass through his expression.
"Leah..."
She looked away, the care in his voice prompting more words to form on her tongue – almost making her want to shut down, but she didn't, remembering the ones he'd spoken the night before. Words she was grateful for – the reason they were both sitting in the same place, having the conversation.
And she needed to say more.
"I've been messed up for a long time, Embry, and it's gonna take me even longer to get past all this shit I made for myself by doing things that way, but...I'm glad you're here...and that we're doing this." The words threatened to stick in her throat, each one of them feeling heavy and foreign and final, but she pushed them out anyway. Each one suddenly rising from a place she'd felt that morning, the night before. Words she suddenly needed to say, even if they didn't come out right.
Telling him...
"I'm glad it was you...that came back."
It took a moment, Leah's lips parting as her eyes finally met Embry's. Her breath catching in her chest when he gave her an easy, knowing smile. Before he turned back to the stove and Leah went back to chopping garlic, a part of her was relieved. A part of her a little lighter, simply because she managed to put a voice to the overwhelming and unexplainable gratitude she felt.
"Me too," he whispered.
"That was...really fucking good."
Leah watched Embry's shoulders shake as he laughed from where he was rinsing dishes in a sink that probably hadn't seen soapy water in the better part of a year.
The night had passed easily, much to Leah's relief. As they ate dinner, the conversation came swiftly and Leah's anxiety lessened as the minutes went by, and Embry was able to pick up on it.
"Thanks," he replied, grabbing the towel next to him and drying his hands as he turned around.
Raising her eyebrows, Leah took a sip of her wine before using her index finger to point to his left. "I do have a dishwasher, you know."
"I know," he answered, "but there wasn't that many to do...and I'm kinda used to being the dishwasher. If I don't do them, they'll never get done. That's kind of where the cooking thing came from too. I mean, I can't eat dinner at Sam and..."
Embry's words stuttered – cutting off almost as abruptly as they came – but it was too late, the silence suddenly thick as Leah's stomach jumped into her throat. Taking only a second to realize it was the first time she had heard Embry say his name.
He had slipped, and Leah could feel him waiting. Waiting for her to react or to see what she would say, she didn't know. Still, she closed her eyes instinctively, fingers curling tighter around the wine glass. Her chest tight, swallowing back the burn inside, forcing herself to breathe.
"I'm sorry, Leah," she heard Embry say, his voice thick with regret.
Taking another breath, she shook her head, forcing herself to open her eyes. "Say what you were gonna say," she said quietly, bending her shaking fingers into a fist. Her voice low, steady, and almost too controlled.
Embry looked hesitant, lips parted slightly and eyes latching onto hers. Seeking permission, his mouth finally moved when he found it somewhere. "I was gonna say...I can't eat dinner at Sam and Emily's every night."
It hurt. It fucking hurt like hell, stealing what little breath Leah had in her, all of it threatening to come back. Everything threatening to unravel with a simple slip of the tongue.
But she held on – to the eyes watching hers. Remembering to breathe. Nodding.
"It's...okay."
But she didn't push it. She didn't ask him to say anything more, letting her stare drop, fingers reaching out and grabbing her cell phone, which rested inches away on the top of the island.
"Bella helped a lot, actually," Embry continued, his voice wavering slightly as Leah cradled the phone between her fingers, scrolling quickly through her work email. Letting herself be distracted for just a moment until she could calm the simmering just below her skin and the crawling sensation that still rested in her hands. "Teaching me how to cook, I mean. I think she just got sick of having us over at her and Jake's all the time too, but I know she enjoyed it. Jake's like you when it comes to cooking...just keep him out of the kitchen. I was a little bit better of a student..."
Embry's laugh pulled Leah away from her phone, looking up to see set the towel down on the counter. She lowered the device, replacing it in one hand with her glass of wine and taking another sip.
"It's almost ten," he murmured, leaning against the counter, watching Leah as she placed the glass back on the island. "I should probably get going."
"Yeah," she agreed, although a part of her that wasn't buried all that deep didn't want him to. It had been a good night – an easy night – despite the fears and anxiety Leah carried into it. Even though a part of her knew it would be, simply being around Embry was easy. It was comforting. Warm.
He brought out something in her, just like he always had.
But Leah slid from her seat anyway, bare feet hitting the wooden floor, Embry's eyes still fixed on her even as he pushed himself off the counter.
"Don't forget your beer," she murmured automatically, pointing toward the fridge.
One corner of Embry's mouth pulled into a smile. "I'll leave it here, just in case," he said quietly, his gaze dropping as he walked away, heading toward the entryway. "Or you can drink it...whichever."
Leah's feet moved without waiting for permission, phone still clasped between her fingers as she followed him to the door, hanging back a couple feet even though she wasn't sure why. He opened it, peering back as her lips parted, unable to think of what she could say. A part of her didn't want to say goodbye – the word seemed too stiff, too final. A part of her wanted to move, remembering how his arms felt around her the night before. A part of her wanting to feel that again before he walked away. Another wanting to see what he was doing the next day...
"So, I'll talk to you soon then..."
The thoughts collided in her head, almost drowning out Embry's voice, causing her mouth to go dry and all words to disappear.
Remembering she had no fucking clue how to do what they were doing...whatever it was.
Until her fingers curled around her phone.
Until she remembered the email she had read just before Embry had started talking about Bella and Jake and cooking and being a good student...
She blinked, noticing Embry was still smiling at her, but turning to go.
"Hey, Em?"
The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop them.
But they stopped Embry, his frame twisting to face her, brows arched expectantly as he waited for her to continue.
Frowning, Leah placed a hand on her hip, eyes suddenly on the floor. "So, I was checking an email a minute ago, and I had one from my boss. I guess, uh...I guess him and a couple of the other partners are meeting for dinner tomorrow night and he just sent me a last minute invite. He told me not to miss it."
She was rambling by that point, not quite sure what she was doing even though she had a good idea where it was going to end up.
"But, um...do you..." She took a deep breath, finally tearing her eyes from the floor and meeting Embry's slightly amused gaze. It made her want to stop. It made her want to stuff the words back in her mouth, but she shook her head, forcing the rest of them out anyway.
"Do you want to go with me?"
Her heart was pounding by the time she closed her mouth, wishing wildly for a moment that she'd simply kept it that way.
"On a Saturday?" Embry asked quietly.
Leah nodded briskly. "I know, they do things like that sometimes... and I mean, the firm will pay for it." She was talking again, wishing in that moment Embry would just fucking say something and shut her up. "So worst-case scenario, we can use it as an excuse to celebrate the deal on the garage. My bosses are all assholes who love to throw the company's money around, so..."
"Leah..."
Thank god.
She closed her mouth again with a snap, trying to ignore how Embry was silently chuckling, hopelessly trying to contain the grin on his face.
Leah wasn't sure why she held her breath when he leaned forward slightly, one eyebrow rising like she should have known the answer all along.
Like she should have known he'd be there when she took that step too.
"I'd love to go."
AN: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little break from the mega-angst. ;)
Big wave to any "new" readers here. With the sad news of JBNP's closing, I know FFn isn't always a favorite place to read. Should you like a closer, more one-on-one reading experience though, I also have this story posted on Tricky Raven, a wolf-centric fanfiction site that also dabbles in original writing. It's a fantastic site. I'd encourage you all to check it out and find me and this story on there. THE LINK TO TR IS ON MY PROFILE PAGE.
Finally, big thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. On that note, the next one might be a little late next week. I have a work event that's going to take up my entire weekend this week and cut significantly into my writing time. I heart you all madly for the love and for your patience (in advance).
ANYWAY, thoughts on this chapter?