Characters: Misty, Ash.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Romance

Shipping: One-sided Pokeshipping

Notes: Uh, dang. This was sort of sad. One-sided Pokeshipping, my first try. Help me improve!

Mahogany Mementos

It was deteriorating.

"It" being my infatuation for this oblivious aficionado of a trainer. It started out with this complete stream of denial, because honestly, I have to admit at first I looked down on Ash. He was a year younger than me, after all.

I asked myself, "Why would I like someone that's so stupid?"

Of course I was cognizant of the answer, yet also of course I didn't let myself believe that I knew the answer. Now I did. In a way, he had sort of put me in my place. He made me realize that sometimes, being smart wasn't so great after all.

When you're smart, you know things that you don't want to know.

The thing I admired the most was the he was so caring. He was incredibly strong and brave and sometimes, I felt even overshadowed by him. It scared me. But of course, I never let that part of me show. In fact, he seemed willing to accept that I would always act like I was above him.

Why?

And sometimes I would just stare at him. I couldn't help it. I admired every single trait he had, and I could do nothing to stop myself from it. From his skin tone to his skinny build to his eyes. I loved it when he looked at me for that reason.

People tried to convince me he liked me, too.

I knew it wasn't true.

I had figured out his type. He couldn't distinguish flirting and friendly advances apart from each other. What he considers friendly, I consider romantic. It sucks, doesn't it? Whenever he touches me I feel a spark, but he appears to be unfazed and gushes on about whatever he has to say at the moment.

We had fallen asleep together in the same bed, held hands, been so unbearably close it makes me want to scream - but it never ever had effected him, not once.

Brock was trying to tell me I was being paranoid, but no, I wasn't!

He didn't like me. Not a single bit.

I can't blame him, though. I'm not attractive with my pale skin and too-skinny build and weirdly shaped facial features. Oh, and don't even get me started on my hair. It's rare when I fall into self-pity rants, but it seems like now is one of those rare times.

Ash was my weak spot.

He made me second-doubt myself, and I thought I was supposed to be confident.

I mean, I had to be, right? Being the "runt" of the family after all.

Nope. It's all a lie. Right now I have the self confidence of a Caterpie. I am weak and at this point, pretty much worthless.

A somber wind hushed my musings and soon enough Ash came into view. He had just come back from training, and was soaking with sweat. He was so hardworking.

"Whatcha upto, Mist?" And... so casually sweet, something that I could never pull off. I brought myself to look at him, and man did I regret it. I could literally feel myself wanting to gravitate towards him.

"I was just thinking about stuff," I said. I didn't want to act all down and mopey around him and bring him down, too. The least I could do was keep him happy.

"Uh, what kinda stuff?" he questioned me, resting an elbow on the table, hinting at something I couldn't quite decipher.

Maybe I should...tell him.

"Okay, I have a question for you. What's the one thing that puts you down the most?" There, that's a good question to start. I'll work from there.

He shrugged and scrunched his eyes thoughtfully. "I don't like it when people think...that I'm a bad person, or annoying, or really any sorta negative thing about me."

This kind of surprised me. I expected him to say "failure" or something along those lines. But it did make sense. Being a trainer, you can't let something petty like failure get to you. On the other hand, your reputation really mattered...

"I can see that," I replied. "Okay, random scenario: Some girl is madly in love with you and you put her down a lot without even knowing it. How would you feel about that?" Oh god oh shoot please let him be dense enough to not see any double meanings in this. I need to stop spouting out this crap.

He started at me very intently for a moment, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I would, see why I was putting her down and try to stop doing that, because I know how it feels."

"What if you just put her down by existing. She's just simply...sad that she can't be with you."

For a second, he seemed very sad, but it faded away very quickly. I wasn't even sure if I saw it all. "Heh, sucks for her then," he said playfully.

I felt like he had slapped me in the face. "What if I had this huge crush on you, huh?" My words were dangerously venomous.

The next stare he gave me I couldn't bare. His deep beautifully coloured copper eyes seem to bore holes through mine. "Do you, though?"

"Oh for Mew's sake, it doesn't matter!"

I sensed him recoil.

"Just...I..." he stumbled repeatedly and didn't seem to exactly know what to say, so I cut in for him.

"Yes, okay. Yes!" I grit my teeth and tried to concentrate on everything but this, but it wouldn't work.

I didn't have to wait long for what he had to say.

"I don't like you that way."

I immediately burst out laughing. "I knew it! This has by far been the stupidest thing I have ever done. I mean, what was I thinking? Oh geez, I'm...I'm stupid." The tears kicked in hard and fast.

The problem was though, where exactly are you supposed to flee in a dense forest filled with wild pokemon?

But for me, the answer was clear: Anywhere away from here.

I took my bag and had the decency to at least murmur an excuse, and did a pretty good job holding a facade over my overwhelming sudden emotion.

All I knew was one thing: I never wanted to go back.