Ok... This took an unexpected turn. Mostly because I am in a ruminating over the bad parts of my life, it's also almost the anniversary of my dad's death so I always get kinda depressed and gloomy, things like that. It affected this chapter immensely, seeing as this chapter was supposed to be light and fluffy with a cute meeting with Kakashi and his team. The furniture plot went up in flames... And this is what I got. Enjoy? I guess...

Also, I have been planning to dedicate this chapter to ryuusakiuchiha who has been supporting this story every chapter, and who has been my motivator to publish a chapter that I have been stuck on, but... I'll do that on a less depressive chapter, K hon?

Warning: drugging, non-explicit rape, kinda kidnapping but not really... So anyone triggered, I didn't bother sectioning the story as I feel it ruins the flow.

''You make me wanna die.'' I proclaim looking at all of the clothes still left to sort. I may have been in the brothel for only a short time, and a courtesan for even shorter, but that doesn't mean I never received gifts. Quite the opposite actually, I often received more than the courtesan I was assisting. It did make them oh so jealous, I would be lying if I said that I didn't derive sick pleasure from seeing their constipated faces while they watched me open present after present, elaborate kimono, expensive jewelry, imported tea sets... I have them all, and now, I've come to realize, I have too much. Where am i supposed to put all of this shit? I only have one closet...

And so came the decision to buy even more furniture... At this rate I just might go broke. But it's ok, I'll just go and do a little ''R&R'' with a customer and problem solved. Anyway, let's go shopping!

It is only a week later that my furniture is ready to be delivered. It is there that I have run into a problem, the shop, weirdly, doesn't do deliveries, and as such I am obligated to hire someone to do that for me. Who better to carry around heavy objects than a ninja? And so, after I had put on a lovely kimono and just a bit of red lipstick, a dab of perfume behind my ears and on my wrists I was ready to go, the scent of orange blossoms trailing behind me.

I'm off to see the Hokage of Konoha, the Hokage of Konoha, the Hokage of Konoha... Hmmm... Doesn't work as well.

As I walk down the street people are waving at me, some stop to greet me, others just shoot a smile across the dirt path. I have been here, in Konoha, for about half a month now, and boy time sure flies. The people here already know me as the kind nee-san, since I always stop to help old ladies cross the road, or play with the kids in the park near my apartment, always seen with a smile on my face... It's all part of the plan actually. The more people like me the more they will talk about me to others, the more they will be on my side if anything goes wrong and the more willing they will be to help me out in a pinch. Not even starting on the fact that I invite people over for tea and snacks all the time. Including the not so cleverly disguised ANBU that are in charge of seeing if all the information I've given the Hokage about me checks out, since they can apparently sense when somebody has worked on their chakra, and isn't as ordinary as they seem, not that I would ever call myself ordinary, but... We're getting off topic here. We're off to see the Hokage. The Hokage of Oz.

Everything is, as always, busy in the beehive. The Hokage tower always gets the most people going to and fro doing their own thing, or whatever it is that they have come to do. Despite my subpar singing about the fact that I'm going to see the Hokage, I'm not even gonna be in the same room as him. The Hokage tower is much like a government operated facility where public workers offer a plethora of services such as creating an ID, opening businesses, requesting a mission and etc. It is the last one, obviously, that I am here to do today. Like everything else in this godforsaken building to make a request for a mission you first have to wait in line. And wait, and wait, and wait. When that is finished and you fill out a form detailing the mission parameters such as rank and the thing you actually want done you then have to wait in another line to pay for said mission, once it has been approved by the ''paperwork chuunin'' as they call them.

Luckily for me I never have to wait much. The guys have no trouble letting me ahead for most things, this being no exception, makes doing grocery shopping a breeze too. With that done, and the mission waiting for a ninja to be assigned to, I'm off to do my other ''chores''. I have to get more ingredients for the red velvet cake I was planning to make so i can *cough*coerce*cough* the ninja next door to do some light recon for me in the shadier parts of the village, all in the guise of me looking for my younger sibling or whatever seems to tug at his strings, we'll see. You might be thinking that it can't be that easy to fool a ninja, and it's not. I have been working on this one since I have moved here, not to mention that the ninja in question is a jounin. But, I also have ninja training, don't forget. Shishou has, amongst other things, trained me in poisons. I have been slipping that fool a little bit of aphrodisiac in every cup of tea he drank, a miniscule amount really, practically undetectable, unless you were an Inuzuka or something of the sort. And finally, after three weeks of trying I have come to the point where he let's down his guard around me. All that is left to do is sleep with him, and then comes the part where he will do something for me, a favor. That's the whole point. Why do I have to sleep with him, and not something else you ask? He's hot and I'm horny. Reason enough.

Tatsumi-san is fresh from a mission. I can see it in the way he is uncomfortably shifting every couple of minutes. He must be injured or something. So I decide to ask, since he seems content in being boring and creepily watching me when he thinks I don't notice.

''So... Tatsumi-san, have you been on any exciting missions lately?'' I make sure to act like a ditzy civilian girl.

''Yes, I have actually. This last one I have been on was quite... interesting.''

''Oh? Can you tell me something about it? You don't have to mention details or names or anything, just... What is it that you found interesting?''

''I was in Suna. I saw a woman that looked remarkably alike yourself.''

What?

''Like me?''

''Yes. And when I approached her about it, to ask if she has any connection to you, she said that it was a henge of a courtesan she saw in Tanzaku city of the Fire country. Said his name was Mitsuki, that he was more beautiful than the moon itself, and that it was the reason she uses his face to help her sell wares.''

The fuck is happening right now? This is way to suspicious for my liking, Im getting the feeling like this is going to go to hell, and fast. Now, how to get out of this situation?

''Oh, is that so?''

''Yes.. And, this got me thinking. About you of course, Mitsuki from Tanzaku. You who has been trying to poison me... Or whatever it is you were trying to do and thought I didn't notice. Did you think I became a jounin by luck? Huh, Mitsuki-chan?''

At this point I start to notice my tongue going numb in my mouth, slowly spreading until I can no longer utter a word. Going down my body like a swarm of flies is the tingling sensation of my limbs falling asleep and me being unable to do anything about it. It terrifies me. It terrifies me even more that I can't even call for help, I can only move my my eyes to track Tatsumi's body as he comes next to me and places my head in his lap. I try to communicate with my eyes a message to release me, that it isn't what he thinks. It's true that I was slipping the aphrodisiac in his tea, but it is nothing poisonous, what more, it is even pleasant. Surely, even though it was an underhanded tactic it doesn't deserve me being killed over it.

He starts to run his fingers through my hair, taking out the decorations I have put in it.

''As it turns out, that woman was selling paralytic toxins. And I thought to myself, what better way to get back at you than to fight fire with fire. So I used your tactic and put some of it into your cup, Mitsuki.''

Fuckfuckfuckfuck How did I not notice? Am I so fucking sure of myself that I completely let my guard down?!

I can hear him whispering to himself 'so pretty, so pretty, so beautiful, and mine, become mine, be mine'

And it leaves a feeling of dread inside me. A deep coiling sensation that is crawling up my gut and blocking my airways. It suffocates me, leaves me breathless and full of air in one quick inhale. It makes me almost choke on it, that little black shadow possessing my mind saying : This is your fault, you deserve this.

Tastumi starts to remove my clothes slowly and my thoughts make a screeching halt. This... This isn't what someone who want's to kill you does. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but at least I get to live. I think.

''You are so beautiful, so pure.'' He whispers as he runs a hand down my bare body. It leaves me shivering even though I can't feel anything. I know with an unyielding certainty that he is going to rape me. He doesn't seem so good looking anymore. I can see a disturbing glint in his eyes, shining brightly in the dimming light of my tea room.

He picks me up in his arms, carrying me bridal style to my bedroom. It doesn't escape my notice that he knows where that is even though I have never showed him. He places me gently on my bed and leaves the room, throwing an ''I'll be back soon.'' over his shoulder.

I have no idea what to do. While I can't deny that I somewhat instigated this, it can't be all there is to it. This guy's a full on psychopath. Sociopath... whatever. I just know that there is no way of me getting out of this unscathed. If I get out of this at all. With a startling thought I realize... I can't speak, but I can scream. But I can't just act on an impulse. No, no, I have to be really smart about this, don't waste a chance. If I scream now and no one hears it... i have wasted what might be the only chance I have to escape this maniac. God, how did I not notice this?

At the corner of my eye I can see his shadowy form come closer. In his hands are ropes, he must have gone to his apartment, which is oh so conveniently right next to mine. He stars tying me up, binding my arms and legs with lengths of rope and attaching it to the head and foot of my freshly installed bed frame, gilded with flowers.

He's talking to me in a quiet whispering voice, barely intelligible. He tells me of a sister he once had, a sister that was a kunoichi.

''She was so so so beautiful. She was everything I had. I was everything she had. Our parents bailed when Kyoko was four, I was six. We both became shinobi, we had to pay the bills somehow, didn't we? But... but she was too beautiful you see. She always got these 'information gathering' missions, thy call them. It's just prostitution of a different name, isn't it? You would know all about it though, wouldn't you Mitsuki? Wouldn't you? Answer me!''

He yells getting up in my face, looking at me with those crazed eyes of his. I answer as best as I can, mumbling out a few unintelligible syllables but he seems to accept it.

He starts caressing my face, gently rubbing my cheeks with a smile on his face, strangely content and peaceful. Happy.

''She died. Or better said, she was killed. Raped by the man she was supposed to gather the information from and then stabbed in the stomach. Twenty-eight times. Precisely''

This must be some divine being's punishment for me. If this is a sign that I shouldn't be doing what I planned on doing... Well message received, If I could be let go now? Please?

''You really look like her. Dark hair, bright amber eyes, light porcelain skin-almost transparent. So delicate and pure. And mine. She was mine and they took her from me.''

Creep. This guy is a total creep. Sister-fucker. God why do I attract weirdos?

''But you can be mine now. I just have to teach you how to listen. Just listen to what I tell you and everything will be alright. ''

He takes out a red scarf from one of his pockets and stuffs it in my mouth. I try to beg him with my eyes not to do this but he seems to take it as an invitation. He leaves burning kisses down my body, his hands following the trail. I can imagine my skin peeling off from his touch, the pain imaginary, but also quite real. My breath leaves me in pants as I try and gather strength to just, just get through the night. Get into the mindset of a courtesan. Yes.

And I do. I keep my mind locked away as my body moves violently from the motion of him pushing himself in uninvited and unwanted. I don't cry. I don't scream. I am empty until he empties himself inside me, and I am empty as he leaves with a promise on his lips of coming back soon.

It is night. No light is illuminating my room, no windows are letting in light. It is just me and the darkness. Just me and my thoughts. Until it isn't.

The next morning, and I know it's morning by the strip of sunshine breaking through the paper on my shoji door, I am no longer alone.

I can feel someone at the front door, their chakra hovering around for a moment before three more signatures join it. It is not a minute past that that I hear knocking.

It... I want to say that this has been my plan all along, but I'd be lying.

It is the ninja I hired for moving the new furniture, they were supposed to be here some hours ago, judging by the movement of the sun... Since it's about the only thing I can see, I have been following it's path since sunrise.

They shout out ''Hello! Is someone there? We're the ninja you hired to move the furniture.''

I try with my all to shout as loud as I can but all that is coming out is that pathetic struggling sound of kidnap victims from movies with like... Bruce Willis. I then try and flare my chakra. I have never tried it before but... It's not something I have the option to fail at, at the moment.

In a moments time I can hear them stop knocking, and a shadow of doubt comes slithering into my thoughts, what if they left?

But then I hear them breaking down the front door, their voice searching for me, and finally finding me. In my bedroom, tied with thick ropes to the bed frame. Naked. Hurt. Alone.

I don't want to cry, but I do so anyway. My rescuers bright blonde hair shines like a halo from the light of the sun sprawling behind him, and it is not until I am cut loose and tucked into a blanket that I begin to realize who my rescuer is. And it is not until his three little minions come bounding into the room their faces so familiar yet foreign at the same time, that I realize. I have been rescued by team Minato. Who have come to help me move furniture. In a world that is supposed to be imaginary. The world in which I have been reborn in. And I cant help but burst into a crying laugh at my situation, despite the strange looks it is earning me I feel finally released, free. I finally feel like I am no longer in a dream, or a fake reality. It seems Wonderland is my home now.

How is this my life?

So... R&R maybe? Idk...