Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or Family Guy.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
-Oscar Wilde

A Beautiful Mind

05:55

A thousand televisions turn on across the city, a familiar message on their screens.

"Good Morning, Jump City! I'm Tina Tucker," said a perky woman, sitting comfortably in a chair.

"And I'm Dan Simmons," said her partner, resting in his own seat two feet to her left.

"And you're watching 'Sunshine at Six!'" The last line was cheerfully delivered by both individuals simultaneously.

Mr. Simmons kicked off the inanities. "Our top story today continues to be: 'will the Earth be swallowed by the sun?'"

Ms. Tucker interrupted on cue. "But first, here's Olivia Williams with the weather. Olivia?"

The screen flashed to a young woman near the shores of the bay.

"IT'S RAINING SIDEWAYS!" she shouted.

The screen flashed back to the studio.

"That's a shame, Olivia. When do-" Dan was cut off by his partner.

"Is that Robin and Starfire behind you?" she excitedly asked.

The screen flashed to Olivia.

"YEAH!"

The screen returned to the studio.

"What are they doing up at this ungodly hour?"

The screen returned to Olivia.

"THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS!"

The pair of heroes heard the shouting reporter and turned towards the commotion just in time for the cameraman to zoom in on them. Robin instinctively jumped away from the Starfire, trying to snatch his hand back from her. Unfortunately for him, the alien princess was in a slight state of shock, and he couldn't break her grip. He did, however, manage to move her arm slightly. Feeling her arm change position, Starfire pulled it back to her side, with the Boy Wonder's hand still firmly in her grasp. The resulting collision landed both teens on the sidewalk, Robin on top of Starfire.

"THEY'RE GONNA MAKE OUT!"

"So, back on topic..."

Hope rolled her eyes and suppressed a grin. "Batman or Spiderman?"

Beast Boy could hardly hide the astonished look on his face. "What?! That's silly- Batman, of course!"

"Oh, really? Spiderman's faster, stronger, more agile-"

"I'll take Robin's word on that one- Spidey's no faster than Batsy." Beast Boy remembered that particular conversation quite clearly- Robin had been quite descriptive of his mentor's fighting skills.

"Fine, but Spiderman is still stronger, and you can't forget about those web shots."

"Pfft, that's nothing. Batman's a tactical genius, he has all those fancy gadgets and whatchamawizits, AND he's got the 'cool factor' going for him."

"The 'cool factor?'"

"Yeah- the reason I always win my fights. 'Cuz I'm just cool like that."

Behind Beast Boy, Hope rolled her eyes and bit her tongue.

"Hey, I saw that!"

"No you didn't, I'm behind you."

"You still did it, though."

"Yes, but you didn't see it."

"You never did answer-"

"Superman or Wonder Woman?"

Beast Boy winced. "Oooh, tough one."

Hope smiled to herself. That ought to throw him off the trail for a while- she still hadn't told him who she really was.

Starfire was in a state of shock, her eyes wide and unblinking as Robin dragged her through the wooded area like a balloon that wouldn't let go of his hand.

Behind the two heroes, a swarm of journalists searched for Jump City's newest TOP STORY.

A helicopter passed overhead.

"And then, Wolverine would be all like 'snikt' and 'grar!' while going in for the finisher, but Nightcrawler's just way too fast and would teleport behind him and-"

"And what? Wolverine can take anything that he can dish out, but I doubt that the same can be said for Nightcrawler."

Beast Boy raised a finger in objection, but dropped it back down to his side when he couldn't think of a response. Hope continued.

"I'm surprised that you picked Nightcrawler, though- I thought you would have related much more closely with Wolverine."

Beast Boy smiled. "Well, I mean Wolverine's a nice guy and all, and he's very animalistic, but us funny colored furry guys have to stick together, ya know?"

Hope smiled and rolled her eyes at the ridiculous shapeshifter.. and then ran smack into said shapeshifter.

"Oof! Why'd you stop, Beast Bo- oh."

Another corrupted emotion stood directly in their path, nervously holding her arms behind her back.

"Uncertainty," said Hope, identifying the woman in front of them.

Beast Boy took a step back, edging closer to Hope.

"A-a-and m-m-me…" stuttered a voice behind them. Instinctively, Beast Boy moved once more, placing himself between Hope and the jittery woman advancing on them.

"Listen," said Beast Boy as he reached for Hope's hand behind him, "I've already forg-" Beast Boy stopped mid-sentence, confused by the Emotion in front of him. She'd halted her advance, her face taking on a very peculiar expression. Four wide eyes were accompanied by a gaping mouth and a heavy flush creeping into her cheeks. Beast Boy followed her gaze… to the hand he'd reached for Hope with.

Turning slowly, Beast Boy found the source of embarrassment- his hand hadn't found the diminutive white emotion, but a third corrupted emotion instead.

A slightly… squishy… emotion, judging by the feeling in his hand.

His eyes went wide as he realized just what he'd done.

Wisdom buried her face into her hands, groaning at the orange-cloaked woman grinning madly in front of her.

"You realize, of course, that you just fried his brain- right?"

Rude laughed. "Hey, he started it! And turnabout's fair play, after all. Also, for your information, I did not fry his brain- although I probably could, if I went for the other side…" Rude adopted a thoughtful posture, as though seriously contemplating doing what she had just insinuated.

Giving up on Rude, Wisdom turned on Hope. "You're not helping in the slightest right now, you know!"

Indeed she wasn't. The girl was rolling around on the floor, desperately trying not to pass out from laughing at Beast Boy's shocked expression. His face twitched slightly, sending her into further convulsions of mirth.

"And Bravery- what's your excuse?!"

The green-clad emotion shrugged her shoulders, grinning slightly. "It looked fun, so I figured 'what the hell?' and went for it."

Wisdom groaned once more in exasperation before giving up and sinking into the ground. A laughing Rude and a smirking Brave followed her example, leaving Beast Boy and Hope all alone…

Well, almost alone. A nervous hand emerged from the ground behind Beast Boy. Seconds later, the changeling let out another shocked yelp, and the hand dove back down into the ground.

What do you know, Brave was right- that was fun!

Beast Boy gingerly rubbed his bottom, wondering just how he'd gotten into this mess… and Hope still wasn't helping.

Self-Loathing reeled, feeling her grip on Raven slip even further. She alone, now, comprised the Nightmare- all the other corrupted ones were back to normal.

This couldn't be tolerated. The little one would have to go.

And if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself.

"So, Raven's almost in the clear?"

"Yes- we've taken care of all but one of the corrupted emotions. Once we find Self-Loathing and set her right, Raven will be fine. Although, you still should tell her to her face that you forgive her- even if we all know it, it helps if her conscious self knows it too."

"Two," said Beast Boy, looking at Hope strangely.

"Two what?" Hope wasn't sure what her friend was talking about.

"Two corrupted emotions left."

"No, just one. You've already fixed Timid, Intelligence, Happy, Rude, Brave, and Wisdom- all that's left is Anger…"

"And you. You aren't yourself right now. Who are you, anyways? You keep changing the subject whenever I ask- why would you hide your identity?" He began to panic. "Oh no, you're Raven's 'kill Beast Boy' emotion- that's why you're being so nice to me now, because it's the opposite of killing me!" His voice jumped an octave. "I'm too pretty to die! Ow!"

Beast Boy clutched his shin, hopping around on one leg while muttering under his breath.

"Beast Boy, keep that up and I'll kick your other shin as well. I'm just a little… self-conscious about my normal state. Also, there is no 'kill Beast Boy' emotion-"

"I would have to disagree with your assertion, little sister."

Beast Boy stopped hopping around, turning to face the direction of the voice.

"You hate yourself, Self-Loathing, not him. And besides- tell her the good news, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy's face lit up, and he delivered his message as quickly as he could.

"IforgiveRavenforeverythingsocanyoupleasenotdrivehercrazy?"

Self-Loathing just stared at the changeling for a few seconds before speaking.

"I know."

With that, a host of black tendrils erupted from beneath her cloak, snatching Beast Boy and pulling him to her face.

"So… if you know, why aren't you all non-black yet?" he asked.

"Because your forgiveness would make Raven happy. Knowing that you didn't hate her or fear her would make her happy. Hell, you make Raven happy. I can't possibly tell you how much I hate it when Raven is happy."

Before he could say another word, Self-Loathing's eyes flashed, transforming Beast Boy into a fish.

"And that is why you must die, my little green friend."