Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and characters


Chapter Nine

I walked out of the locker room with Kevin and immediately spotted Bella standing with RJ and Samantha next to the chain link fence. It amazed me how after just five hours apart, I could miss her so much. But honestly, it took all I had to not break into a run to reach her as fast as possible. When I arrived by her side, I threw my arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to me. "Hello Bella love," I whispered against her hair, kissing it gently.

I felt her arms wrap around my waist and squeeze. And I knew that she had missed me just as much. I turned my head just in time to see Samantha rolling her eyes playfully at us. I stepped back and Bella's hands slid off my waist, only to find my hand. All three eyes turned at that moment to look at Kevin, who stood slightly awkwardly next to me.

"This is Kevin," I said hastily, hoping to put my old friend at ease. "We knew each other when I lived in Chicago."

For an instant, I saw Bella's eyes narrow as I introduced Kevin to RJ and Samantha. As I said my girlfriend's name, her eyes returned to normal and a smile once again graced her face.

"I thought Kevin could join us for pizza," I added after everyone had been introduced.

"Of course!" Samantha chirped. "The more the merrier, right?"

With those words, we headed down the street, towards the local pizza place. Once there, we ordered and then went to find a table.

"So Kevin," Samantha said when we were all seated. I reached over to the edge of the table and placed our number there. "You said you knew Edward in Chicago." She put her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands, her full attention on Kevin.

"Yeah," Kevin confirmed. "We met in third grade. Even at eight he was one fast cat." He bumped my shoulder and I laughed with him. It seemed like a different life time ago that I had met Kevin. Mom and I had moved into the small house during the summer between second and third grade. It was then I had changed elementary schools, leaving behind everything familiar. Mom had sunken deeper into her depression, spending her days sitting on the couch, staring at the television as daytime television flashed in front of her.

But then, something had changed. One day I had come home from school and found her standing in the family room. I should have rejoiced that she was up and dressed. That she had showered and done her hair. But even at eight I had known her jean skirt was too short, her red shirt too tight and low. And her hair and make up were just a little too desperate.

A week later I had met Kevin.

Two weeks later she had met James.

"I was always trying to get him to play baseball with us," I heard Kevin say as I tuned back into the conversation. Beside me, I felt the ice coming off of Bella in waves. Before I could turn to her, Samantha caught my attention.

"Why didn't you?" Samantha asked me.

"Yeah man," RJ added. "From what I saw you have real talent."

"I was busy," I said, trying to sort through the truths that I wanted to say and leave out what I didn't. "My dad died when I was six and I had to take care of my mom."

If possible, the tension coming from Bella turned colder.

The pizza arrived and we all dug in. I glanced at Bella and saw her eating her pizza almost robotically, her eyes never leaving the slice in front of her. "Bella," I whispered, completely at a loss. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and continued to chew, her jaw moving up and down. I put my own pizza down and felt my stomach begin to twist in familiar knots. Old feelings I hadn't felt in over a year began to surface and I wondered if she had finally found the hidden "thing" within me that made me unworthy of love.

"So Edward," Kevin said, thankfully unaware of anything wrong. "How did you end up living with the doctor and moving to Washington?"

"What happened?" Samantha asked.

I tried to swallow around the lump that was forming in my throat. I wasn't ready for these kinds of questions, although I knew they would come. But right now, I just wanted to figure out what was wrong with Bella, why she sat so still and silent.

"His mom died," Kevin said before I could respond. "Then his stepfather went to jail and killed himself."

Just then I heard a crash. "Oh crap," RJ said. I glanced at him and saw his soda spreading out from his knocked over glass.

Samantha squealed and grabbed a pile of napkins before the brown liquid could fall into her lap. I grabbed more napkins and helped mop up the mess.

"Sorry about that," RJ said ducking his head.

"No worries," Samantha said, pushing the dirty napkins away from her. "Nothing got on me, so no stains." She smiled at him, then turned her attention back to me and Kevin. "I'm sorry Edward, that must have been tough," she said sympathetically.

I tried clearing my throat this time. "It's okay," I finally managed to say. I bit my lip and debated my next words. I glanced at Bella's still form. "It was actually the best thing to ever happen to me." My words were quiet and Bella's gaze flickered to mine. The brown warmth returned to them and she reached out to lay a hand on my thigh under the table. The knots in my stomach loosened minutely.

Samantha nodded and I looked at Kevin, who encouraged me to continue. I took a small breath. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen was working a trade shift at Mercy Hospital in Chicago. I was brought in one night and he was my doctor."

"What happened?" Samantha gasped.

I shifted slightly and unconsciously, my hand slid into Bella's, her fingers filling the spaces within my own. "My mother's husband got a little out of control one night." I left it at that and hoped it was enough. "Like I said, Dr. Cullen was there and he knew that my mom had died and so he agreed to take me in. I moved with him back to Washington when it was time for him and his wife to go home," I said the words quickly, hoping no one would ask any more questions.

Awkward silence fell and I instantly regretted that I had ruined what should have been a carefree night of pizza.

"I think you are right," Kevin finally said, finally breaking the awful silence. "You look happier than I've ever seen you. Not in all the nine years I knew you."

The ice returned to Bella and the knots tightened in my stomach.

"Yeah," I managed to agree. "Forks definitely agreed with me."

"So Kevin," Samantha said, as if sensing my intense desire for the conversation to end. "You are an amazing pitcher, what's the fastest you've been clocked at?"

Kevin beamed at her. "One hundred three," he said. "And you should see my curve ball break."

Later that night, when we returned to the dorms I asked Bella if she wanted to take a walk. We walked in silence for the first few yards, waiting to get away from the crowd of people. "Bella," I whispered when we were alone. "What happened?"

She looked up at me and chewed on her bottom lip. "He was your friend for nine years."

It was statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway.

"Your best friend."

Again, not a question, but I continued to nod.

"How did he not know? How could he not help you?" Her voice grew louder as the words started to pour from her. "He knew you before James even started to hurt you! How could he not tell someone? Anyone? I remember when I was a freshman and we had to watch that damn child abuse video in health class. It explained to us everything, about how we should tell if we suspected a friend was being hurt! How could he let you live like that!"

"Bella," I said quietly, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Honey, he didn't know."

"That's bull shit," she said and her eyes widened, as shocked by her own words as I was. "I knew the second I saw you that something had hurt you. Your eyes alone betrayed your pain. And you weren't even living it anymore! I've seen your scars and I can't imagine the pain they must have caused when they were fresh. You couldn't have kept all that pain a secret!"

"I hid them," I answered back. "Every mark, every bruise he gave me, I hid it. Bella, I didn't want Kevin to know. School was the only normalcy in my life. I didn't want anyone to know so I got very good at hiding it. After I moved to Forks, everything changed and I was so confused I didn't know how to hide it anymore."

"He knew you for nine years."

"I was an excellent liar."

Bella stared at me, her hands fisted in front of her. I reached up and ran a hand through my hair. For several moments, the silence roared between us. "Bella," I finally whispered. "I saw that video too. I remember watching it and almost laughing out loud. There was no way anyone could have helped me at that point. If Kevin had told, I would have denied it with my last breath."

"Edward," Bella said just as softly. "Why?"

"If someone had tried to remove me from my home, what do you think would have happened to my mom?"

Her eyes slid closed as she reached out and closed the space between us. "When you first introduced Kevin to us," she explained as she rested her forehead on my chest. "I thought maybe he was just an old acquaintance from Chicago that you ran into again. Someone you didn't know very long. Then when we got to the restaurant and he said that you guys had been good friends since you were eight, I just lost it. I wanted to yell at him then, but I knew I couldn't."

"Bella, listen to me, okay?" I pulled her back and leaned forward until I was eye level with her. "You heard me tell Kevin that Carlisle finding me was the best thing that has ever happened to me, right?"

She nodded.

"That wasn't an exaggeration. Sweetheart, when I said yes to the Cullen's, it opened up a whole new world to me. If anything had happened before that night, if by some chance Child Protective Services had found out about what was happening at home, I would have been placed in the foster care system. I would have missed out on the best things in my life. I would have missed you. And Bella love, there is nothing I regret about anything because it all led me to you."

"Edward," she whispered and she brought her hands up to her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't apologize," I said gently.

She shook her head. "I could tell at dinner that were you confused and hurt, but I was too caught up in my own anger to do anything about it. I guess I just wish that something could have happened to have saved you from all the pain. But you're right. Anything else would not have brought you to Forks."

"Exactly." I smiled at her.

"I can't imagine that."

"Neither can I." I kissed her gently, reveling in her taste. "Neither can I," I repeated against her lips.

"I love you," she breathed.

"As do I, my love."

Later that night I lay in bed, Bella's delicious taste still fresh on my lips. In the bed on the other side of the room, Matt snored away. I licked my lips one more time, then forced the image of James to appear on the ceiling above me. When his pale eyes were looking at me, I focused my attention on his hands. He held the chain whip in his hands and I shuddered for a minute as the remembered pain swept over me. I narrowed my eyes and imagined grabbing the chain and heaving it to the other side of the room. I could almost hear the clatter as the chain hit the wall. I handed James a feather and he looked at it, confusion filling his blank eyes. "You can't hurt me with that," I whispered inside my head.

He waved it around and it fluttered in the wind. I smiled to myself as I watched. "You can't hurt me anymore," I whispered, this time out loud.

He glared at me, but didn't speak. I snuggled deeper into my pillow, watching as he tried to throw the feather away, but it remained stuck to his hand. I laughed at him and he glared harder at me. Then without warning, he smirked and the feather turned into a knife. "I told you," he leered at me. "You won't escape that easily." He grabbed my left arm and traced the long scar with the knife. He lifted the steel blade again and placed it back at my elbow. I watched, unable to move as the scar was ripped open again.

My eyes flew open and I felt my chest jerking as I rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. I could feel the sweat drenching my body and I shivered against my damp sheets. When I could breathe again, I lifted my head and risked a glance at the other bed. I closed my eyes and dropped my head again, letting the relief flood through me as Matt slept peacefully.

I yanked my covers back and got out of bed. Despite the shivers wracking my frame, the room felt too hot and stuffy. I went to the door and stepped out into the dark hallway. The hallway offered no relief, so I made my way down the stairs and through the outside doors. The cement felt cool beneath my bare feet and I padded over to one of the benches. I sat down and tilted my head up, breathing in the cool night air.

I knew what I had done wrong. I hadn't finished visualizing the nightmare before falling asleep. I had let James in and before I had kicked him out again, I had fallen head first into the dream.

"Edward?" I heard the familiar whisper and opened my eyes to see Bella approaching me. "Baby, are you okay?" She crawled into my lap and ran her fingers through my damp hair.

"Yeah," I whispered. "How did you know I was out here?"

"I was going to the bathroom when I saw your shadow walk past, heading down stairs."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"Do you remember Senior prom?" she asked.

I closed my eyes and saw her wearing a deep blue gown. Her pale shoulders had been bare, her long hair swept up into a waterfall of curls. I remembered placing the red roses on her wrist and her pinning the white rose to the jacket of my tuxedo. "Of course," I answered.

"I didn't want to dance."

I felt my lips turn up into a smile and a pressed a kiss to her temple. "Honey, you never want to dance."

She laughed. "I know. But you made me."

"Like I always do."

"You made me stand on your toes and the swept my around the dance floor in a perfect waltz."

"You were so beautiful that night," I murmured.

"So were you. That was a magical night."

"You know, I think most men prefer the adjective handsome."

I felt Bella's shoulders shake as she giggled. "Handsome is so boring though," she explained. "It just doesn't capture you. You are so much more. Honestly, it's the only word I could ever think to describe you. Even that first day in biology, all I could think was 'Oh dear Lord, he is beautiful.'"

"But then, what word does that leave for you?" I asked her. "If I'm beautiful?"

"Plain," she said with a sigh. "Boring."

"Isabella Marie Swan!" I pushed her back and gave her shoulders a shake. "You are so far off the mark, it's not even funny." I tilted my head as I thought. I looked at her now, her creamy skin reflecting the moonlight, her deep eyes sparkling as she waited. Her long hair tumbled in wild disarray, touching the middle of her back. But this didn't even begin to describe what was captured on the inside.

"See," Bella said as I remained silent. "You can't think of anything either."

I shook my head. "How can I possibly describe you in one word? All the words running through my head don't even begin to do you justice."

I watched her blush turn her cheeks red. "Edward," she sighed. She rested her head on my shoulder and I moved my hand in large circles over her back. Several minutes later I heard her breathing even out as she fell asleep.

I knew I should take her back up to her room and let her sleep in the comfort of her own bed. But I wasn't ready to let her yet. I shifted slightly, arranging her into a more comfortable position. I ran my hand through her hair and enjoyed the feeling of her heart beating against my chest.

I stayed outside, watching the stars until the sky began to lighten and goosebumps began to dot Bella's arms. Then I carefully lifted her and carried her back inside.

The rest of the week passed quickly, in a whirl of classes, practices, homework and Bella. We fell into a routine quickly and I treasured the classes I had with her because the offered me another hour with her. After our morning class together, we headed off in our own directions. I went to class and took my notes. I went to ensemble practice and then to baseball practice. Bella always showed up at the baseball field and would watch intently, no matter what we were doing. After practice, I hurried to the locker room, eager to change and be with her again.

Then, after the long day, we would head to the cafeteria, grab some dinner and then work on our homework. Because Bella was taking two English classes, her homework was filled with writing, so we usually studied in her room, where I would lie on her bed working on chemistry while she typed away at her computer. Other nights, when she had only reading, we would head outside and complete our work in the waning California sunshine.

Before I knew it, it was Friday and I was downstairs with Matt, RJ and Kevin, waiting for the girls. We were going to the pep rally and then the first home football game of the season. The Stanford Cardinal were hosting the Washington Huskies.

Bella and Samantha came bouncing out of the dorm and headed for our group. "Hey!" they both yelled as they approached us. Bella came to a stop next to me and as always, our hands migrated to the other, our fingers lacing together. I noticed Samantha stopped next to Kevin and I felt my eyebrow raise a bit as I watched her greet him enthusiastically. I snuck a peek at Bella and saw her shaking her head a little.

We took off then, heading towards the main quad where the rally would be held. "Hi sweetie," Bella said as we began walking. "Happy two years."

I turned and smiled at her. We had taken turns all day wishing each other a happy anniversary. A part of me couldn't believe that Bella and I had been dating for two whole years. It seemed like just yesterday she had entered my life. "I'm looking forward to after the game," I said, my smile growing as I thought of what I had in store with her.

"No fair," Bella said, pouting a bit. "I want to know what we are doing."

"It's a surprise," I leaned over and kissed her quickly. "But trust me, you will love it."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course I will. I would love anything you do." She skipped along next to me, our hands swinging between us. "I am so incredibly glad that it is Friday," she said. "I'm toast."

I laughed. "Me too. Tomorrow, I say we do nothing but sleep and relax."

"Sounds good," Bella answered. "Then on Sunday, we get to go see Alice and Jasper! I can't wait!"

We had talked to Alice on Wednesday and confirmed our plans for the weekend. We were going to head over to Berkeley on Sunday to see our friends and hang out. We had been warned by Alice to not wear anything red or Stanford related. Like Bella, I couldn't wait to see my sister.

As we neared the main quad, the number of people walking increased and we followed the crowd to center of the school. The pep rally was a lot like the bon fire that had been held before school started. The only real difference was that the football players weren't there and there was no fire. But the band and cheerleaders were there and we sang the school song, listened to the student body president explain to us that we were going to kick butt on the field today.

After the rally, we followed the marching band to the football stadium. The game passed quickly, we spent it cheering loudly, rooting for our new team. The Cardinal beat the Huskies 27 to 26, making for a very good game.

At the end of the game, Bella and I walked out with our group of friends, but then it was time to say good bye.

"Are you guys sure you don't want to come?" Samantha asked. Her cheeks were flushed with adrenaline from the game. She skipped in front of us. "We were going to head out to get milk shakes, soothe our raspy throats."

"Um," Bella said, looking at me through her eyelashes. "I'm pretty sure that we'll pass this time, but next time, promise."

"Come on Sam," Kevin said. "Would you want to spend your two year anniversary with at a crowded restaurant?"

"I suppose not," she sighed.

"Don't worry, we'll keep you company. I know a chocolate shake with my name on it," RJ added. Samantha smiled and linked her arms with Kevin and RJ. Matt looked on, an almost bored expression on his face.

"Like Bella said," I added. "We will for sure join you guys next time. I just have something planned."

"No problem," Samantha said, smiling now. "I understand. You two love birds have fun."

I grinned. That was the plan.

"You guys have a good night," I said waving as I led Bella away. She waved over her shoulder and then turned her full attention to me.

"Edward?" she asked as we got in the Volvo.

I slid into my seat and smiled crookedly at her. "Don't worry, you'll see where we are going soon enough."

She huffed and sat back in her seat. Her expression grew more and more perplexed the further I drove. I guided my car towards the surrounding hills, then turned onto obscure roads that appeared to take us no where.

Which was exactly my destination. The middle of nowhere, with no one around except me and the girl I loved. I maneuvered down the small road, the trees practically hitting my car. Despite her confusion, Bella never once asked me where we were going, nor did the smile leave her lips.

The trust she had in me was awe inspiring.

I pulled up to the edge of the woods and Bella looked at me, curiosity shining in her brown eyes. I smiled at her slightly, suddenly struck by nerves. Maybe this was a bad idea. What if she hated it? What if this wasn't what she wanted?

I took a deep steadying breath and pulled out a black blindfold. I bit my lip and looked at Bella. "I have to get some things ready," I said, my voice held a hint of my nerves and I took another deep breath. "Would you mind wearing this until I'm ready?"

Bella shook her head and I carefully slipped the blindfold over eyes, blocking her vision. "Only for a few minutes," I said softly right before I kissed her lips. "I'll be right back."

I left her sitting in the car as I ran around to the trunk. I pulled out the large pad I had brought and spread it out several feet front of the car. For a second I stood still, looking out. From this spot, I could see the entire Palo Alto valley. Soon, dusk would set in, but for now, the sun hovered just above hills. I hurried back to the trunk and pulled out the rest of the supplies I had brought. I set the food next to the large pad, spread the blankets out, placed the presents atop the blankets. For a second I stared at the scene I had created and I wrung my hands. Doubt pounded at my brain and I was tempted to grab everything, shove it in back in the car and hurry away, taking my sweet girl to the fanciest restaurant I could find.

I looked back at the car and saw her still sitting in the front seat, the blindfold still in place. A smile played along her lips as she waited patiently for me. Love for her almost brought me to my knees and gave me the courage to walk to her door and open it slowly. I reached in took Bella's hand. Gently I kissed her fingers and then helped her out of the car. I led her to the spot I had chosen, positioning her to lookout over the valley. Ridiculously, my hands shook as I lifted the blindfold from her eyes. I watched her face as she took in the scene in front of her. Her eyes lowered and she looked at the pad and blankets spread out in front of her.

"I thought we could watch the sunset," I said hoarsely, the nerves still tearing at my throat.

She nodded, still silent as she lifted her gaze. Her brown eyes met mine and she lifted her hand. Gently, more like a breath than a touch, her fingers skimmed my face. "I love it," she whispered as her fingers fluttered over my lips.

"Are you sure?" I breathed, my uncertainty clinging to me.

She smiled again and her fingers lifted my face, trailing down my arm to my hand. "Yes, baby relax." She laced her fingers with mine and lowered herself to the pad, pulling me with her.

We sat crossed legged in front of each other, our knees touching. "I brought food," I said inanely as I reached for the plastic containers.

"So this is why you wouldn't let me eat at the game," Bella said laughing softly.

"Yeah," I said, smiling at her. "I didn't want you to ruin your appetite." I removed the lids and spread our feast around us. Bella looked at me with her brown eyes sparkling and I knew she remembered. I lifted a piece of bread, spread some mustard on it and placed a piece of salami and cheese on it. Then I handed it to her.

"It's just like our very first picnic," she said softly.

"Yes, when I kissed you for the very first time."

"Seems appropriate," she replied, popping the bread in her mouth. "Tonight will be another first," she added when she was done chewing.

I swallowed hard and nodded. "I didn't want to assume--,"

"Hush," Bella said. "You aren't making any wrong assumptions."

I looked over her shoulder and saw the sky beginning to turn a light pink. "The sun is setting," I whispered.

Bella moved the food aside and crawled towards me. I unfolded my legs and she sat between them, leaning against my chest, her head on my shoulder.

In silence, we watched the sun begin to slip behind the hills, the sky an ever changing palette of colors. As I watched, I began running my hand along her arm, slowly dragging my fingers from the tips of hers, to the hollow between her shoulder blades and then down again. She relaxed even more against me, molding to my body as I continued the caresses on her arms.

Then she sat up and turned to face me. She stared at me for a few seconds. "Are you sure?" I asked softly.

Without answering my question, she reached down to the hem of her shirt and swiftly lifted it up and away. Beneath the sweatshirt, she wore a lacy, deep blue bra. "There is nothing I want more in this life," she said softly, but firmly. "Then you."

"Bella," I managed as I lifted my hands again, once again feeling her smooth skin beneath my hands. "I love you." I spread my hands over her rib cage, my thumbs reaching out to smooth over the blue lace.

She looked down and watched my thumbs continued to circle the blue lace. When she looked up, her eyes were smoldering. She leaned forward and captured my lips with her own. I kissed her hungrily and desire began to ignite deep within me. I could practically hear the electricity snapping around us, feel the sparks as they burst out. I shifted, pulling her closer to me, my hands now moving along the soft skin of her back.

Without thinking, I turned us until she lay on her back beneath my, our lips still locked together. I pulled away from her lips then, moving along her chin, gently nibbling her neck.

"Edward," she gasped.

My hand splayed out on her flat stomach as my lips ran along the edges of the lace. My hand ran over the button of her jeans, moving lower. She bucked against me and I pulled away, scared I had hurt her. "Bella, are you sure?"

"Yes my sweet, sweet Edward. I want you. I love you." She bit her lip and her face began to turn the lightest shade of pink. "Baby, I want your hands on me." She reached up and put took my hand. She guided it back to the heat within her jeans. "Here, now."

I flexed my fingers and she jerked again, but I saw now that her eyes were on fire. I smiled and my insecurity fled. "Here?" I asked softly, moving my fingers again.

"Yes," she sighed.

I bent and resumed the trail I had started against the edges of the lace. I felt my own heart rate accelerate, matching the rhythm of her breaths. Tonight was the night. The night we would truly become one.

A/N: Hey guys. Once again I have to apologize for the huge wait. Summer is coming, so in two weeks it will be a lot easier to find the time to write.

With the last few chapters, I've noticed that the number of reviews has gone down. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter, that I'm writing because I love it, not because I want to win any "review" contests. But it's amazing what reviews, or decrease in reviews can do to your confidence. I was hesitant to write a sequel because I did not want to ruin Fearless. I'm starting to get scared that I'm doing just that.

That said, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm trying to build the plot, and the added characters are needed so it's taking a bit of time to set everything up. But some conflict and confusion is rapidly approaching.

Please don't forget to review!

Thanks so much!

Mygoldeneyedangel