What's a Girl to Do? (Season 6)

by originella

Newly released from prison, Murphy Gallagher-Blomqvist is determined to prove her innocence, no matter what its cost. With two relationships fizzling out and one reigniting, Murphy must figure out where her loyalties lie as she navigates through life, once the charges are dropped. When she calls her own marriage into question, Murphy must figure out what she wants once and for all.

10. Alive or Dead

Chapter Ten: Alive or Dead

Since I'd gotten shot while pregnant with the boys, I hadn't had to have any dialysis treatment, but I was on a kidney transplant list. I had been waiting anxiously, and now that I was over two months sober, the doctor's were beginning to think that I was becoming a candidate for a second kidney in the near future. When the call came on the first of March that there was finally a match for me, I immediately called in sick to work and made my way over to the hospital as soon as I had dropped the boys off at daycare and Iana at preschool.

"Name, please," the receptionist asked when I approached the desk.

"Murphy Gallagher-Blomqvist," I replied, getting my ID out of my wallet and handing it over, and somehow managed to smile at her.

"Oh, yeah, they found you a kidney match," the woman replied, typing in the information onto her computer. "Have you been fasting for over twelve hours?"

I nodded; I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, and had not eaten since around eight-thirty the night before, and it was after nine a.m. "I haven't eaten for about twelve and a half hours now, if that's appropriate."

The woman nodded, handing me my ID back. "Very good," she replied, and promptly handed me a clipboard. "You'll have to fill this out for any new information in your medical history, Mrs. Blomqvist, and then someone will be with you in the next ten to fifteen minutes to prepare you for surgery and to put you under."

I nodded, gazing at the clipboard for a moment before raising my eyes to hers. "Sounds good," I said brightly with a smile. "Thank you very much." I crossed the room towards where the chairs were kept, picking one at random and checking my phone before I began to fill out the paperwork in front of me. I'd told Nicholas, Ian, Lip, and Debbie about my impending surgery, and all four said that they work accommodate me and come around later, after it was all over, to check up on me.

I tapped my pen against the stack of papers on the clipboard for a moment, bringing my bottom lip into my mouth and biting it, hard, as I attempted to focus on the medical jargon in front of me. Other than my own personal pathology—plus the reading I'd assigned myself on bipolar disorder since finding out that Ian was my twin—I didn't know a lot about medical treatments on the whole. One could easily say that it was not my designated forte, and while I knew a vague amount of terms from my years under Dr. Normal's regime, all I knew was, I should've done a little more homework on the whole kidney aspect of things...

"Murphy?"

I looked up then, a few moments later, when a nurse arrived to collect me. Getting to my feet, I forced a smile to my lips. "Yeah. Good morning."

"Morning," she replied breezily. "I'm Rebecca, and I'll take that, if you don't mind," she said, her tone gentle, as she reached out for my clipboard.

"Uh, yeah, thanks," I said, handing it over and catching her name as Ophelia on her name badge, which swung from her neck.

"Nervous about any of this?" she asked as we walked through the doors and down the long, well-lit hallway.

I let out a laugh. "Well, no guarantee I'll wake up, so..."

Rebecca looked slightly shocked at my apparent nonchalant attitude as we reached the exam room, where I presumed I would be put under, before being deposited onto a cart and brought into surgery itself. "While there are risks to any surgery, Murphy, as I'm sure you know, I know that you're in good hands."

"I don't doubt it," I replied.

"Good," Rebecca said, managing to smile at me as she motioned for me to sit down. "I'm just going to check you over and make sure that you're equipped for surgery this morning. Does that sound okay to you?"

I nodded. "Whatever you gotta do."

"Great," she said, and I removed my jacket and purse, which she promptly took from me. "These will be placed in your locker in your eventual recovery room."

"Sounds good," I replied.

Rebecca looked me over quickly yet efficiently for the next several minutes, until she nodded in satisfaction. "Everything looks fine, Murphy," she said with a smile. "I'll leave you to change into a hospital gown, and I'll go let the anesthesiologist know that we're ready to wheel you into surgery in the next few minutes."

I did my best to smile and act calm. "Sounds good, Rebecca. Thank you."

"No problem," she replied, pulling out a drawer in the set of them across the room, managing to correctly guess my size as she handed over a periwinkle hospital gown, patterned with microscopic white polka dots. "I'll just go let him know. Feel free to change in the bathroom here," she said brightly, opening another door located to my right, placed just next to the exam room's door. "We'll be back with you shortly."

I got to my feet as soon as Rebecca left, getting off my shoes and socks before I stepped onto the cool, tiled floor of the bathroom. Pulling off my shirt, jeans, bra, and underwear, I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment, remembering the key times in my life when I had stood naked in a bathroom. The first time was after Dr. Normal caught me with Jessica in my childhood bedroom, and how I'd been subjected to his abusive attack. The second was that drunken night in Mexico that I'd shared with Mickey, which had the word 'Mistake' written all over it. And the third and final one was after I'd come out of jail, realizing that Trevor had betrayed me, and a lump rose in my throat as I looked over my body.

The scars from Dr. Normal's belt; as well as the one from the bullet wound, which, by extension, had led to my kidney removal, and scar from that. Plus, there were the affects I'd gone through from the childbirths, and even though I had taken good care of myself after each time, I felt physically different, now that I'd carried children inside me, and knew I would never be, or look, the same again. It was when I heard a creak outside the bathroom and a door opening that I hastily moved to yank the hospital gown over my head, straightening it quickly, and pulling my hair out from beneath the back and slowly opened the bathroom door.

"Ah, there you are, Murphy," Rebecca said brightly. "This is Dr. Norris, the anesthesiologist on call this morning."

"Good to meet you, Dr. Norris," I said, putting out my hand.

"Good to meet you, too, Murphy," Dr. Norris replied, and I could see that a movable bed had already been brought in for me to lie on for transport. "Why don't you get on there, Murphy, and we'll discuss the process."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me," I replied, walking steadily past him and perching on the edge of it for a moment, before straightening the bottom of the gown again before I moved into a lying down position. "What do you need to know?"

"I need to know where you would like the needle for your I.V.," Dr. Norris said patiently, having already prepped the needle himself, which was connected to a bag of medicine, all on its own wheeled pole.

I nodded again. "Right, yeah," I said. "My right inner elbow, please."

Dr. Norris nodded. "Fair enough," he replied, snapping on a pair of gloves. His hands were warm, even beneath the latex as he gently moved up the sleeve of my hospital gown to get a good look at the area. "Oh, and look at that—there's a nice, big vein waiting there for me," he said with a chuckle, before moving back to retrieve the needle, as Rebecca hastily stepped in and sanitized the area. "Think you can count backwards from ten for me?" Dr. Norris asked, coming closer to me with the needle.

"No problem," I said, watching as he brought the needle closer. "Ten," I said quietly, as the needle went into my arm. "Nine, eight, seven..."

. . .

"Wow..."

I turned and looked over my shoulder at Lip, finding that I was smiling up at him as I managed to shrug my shoulders simultaneously. "Don't know why you're so surprised. I told you, I know how to do a thing or two..."

"What happened at work today?" he asked, leaning down his head and brushing his lips along my shoulder, the sensations within me causing my skin to ripple with pleasure. "You said that that tool Nicholas pulled something in court?"

I sighed. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Scar, you know I want to talk about it, because I fucking care a whole hell of a lot," Lip said then, his voice firm, as his arms snaked around my naked waist. "Come on. I really want to know what happened today."

I sighed. "It's not just because you lost Xan?" I asked. "I mean, you just up and gave her mom that ten grand? She's an addict..."

"So am I," Lip said simply, his lips returning to my shoulder again. "But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. What happened with Nicholas today?"

I bit down on my lower lip. "He said that I was getting distracted during trial proceedings, and so he took it upon himself to take my questions from me and passed them off as his own work. I don't know if the judge bought it, though. I think there's some history there..."

"Yeah? How do you mean?"

I smirked then, rolling over so that I could see Lip's expression. "Don't really know. But just something about the way he was looking at Nicholas when he was acting so pompous while asking the questions. Like he knew the language I'd used was different than his..."

Lip grinned. "And is it?"

"Yes," I replied. "Sometimes I proof-read Nicholas's for spelling or grammar errors."

"Ever find anything?"

"Here and there, never anything too severe," I reply, rolling on top of him then, and feeling him becoming stiff as I do so. "But I think that tonight was just what I needed..."

Lip looked proud of himself as he rubbed his hands up and down my back. "Yeah? How do you figure that, Scar?"

I grinned. "I don't know. Just the concept of fucking in general," I said, a ripple of laughter escaping my lips then as Lip promptly lifted his hand to smack my ass. "Hey! Careful with the merchandise there, Gallagher..."

Lip promptly grabbed me by the waist then, pulling me so that my back was on the couch and he was now on top of me, and I felt a short gasp escape from my lips then as he pinned my arms to each side of my body, and I was immediately putty in his hands. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, Scar."

I blinked then, struggling to find my voice. "So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm crazy about you," Lip replied, looking shocked that the words were falling from his mouth. "I'm falling for you, Scar..."

I felt my heart hammering in my chest then, knowing exactly what to say, although the anxiety pierced every bone in my body. "I'm falling for you, too, Lip..."

. . .

"Murphy? Murphy..."

The familiar voice called me from oblivion then and, as I opened my eyes, I was momentarily blinded by the lights around me. Struggling slightly, I managed to push myself upwards from my lying-down position, and looked around, feeling at ease when I saw Ian sitting beside me. "Hey, there," I said, my voice slightly scratchy, and my twin smiled indulgently before handing over a cup of water. "Thanks," I said, taking it and sipping it carefully. "Are you the only disciple who is here today?" I joked.

Ian grinned at me. "No, don't worry. We're taking sitting with you in shifts. Nicholas, Lip, and Debs are down in the cafeteria."

"And the twins? And Iana?"

"With Liam, don't worry," Ian said gently, and I immediately felt relieved. "How are you feeling though, Murph? Any pain?"

I shook my head. "No. I feel..." I sighed, leaning back down against my pillows. "...not bad, exactly. Just...confused..."

"Confused?"

I scoffed. "Yeah. I guess the whole thing about uncovering repressed memories when you're under heavy drugs is true..."

"Yeah?" Ian asked. "You remember something?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah. About...Lip...and me..."

Ian made a face. "Dear god, do I even want to know?!"

I smirked, bringing the cup of water back to my lips. "No," I said, sipping it steadily. "No, I don't think you do."

. . .

I was released from the hospital after only three days and permitted to return home immediately, and even Nicholas seemed to tread extra carefully around me. He handled the pick-ups and drop-offs of the kids until the second day of the second complete week of March, when I woke up early and decided to go into work. I didn't discuss it with Nicholas, but the fact that I came downstairs all dressed and ready was a surprise for him; I'd only just resumed cooking and cleaning over the weekend, despite his warnings to take it easy.

"Murph?"

I smiled at everyone gathered in the kitchen, kissing each of my children's foreheads before I moved to kiss Nicholas on the cheek. "Morning," I said, getting a cereal bar from the cabinet and chewing it as I made sure all of their lunches were prepared.

"Uh, Murph?"

I sighed, turning to look at my husband. "Yes, Nicholas?"

"You're dressed...like you're going to work..."

I nodded. "Well, I am going to work..."

"The doctors said three to six weeks, Murph..."

I rolled my eyes. "And I say they can't order me around forever," I said, my voice peppered ever so slightly with annoyance. "You know me—I tend to bounce back from set-backs quickly," I went on, as Nicholas proceeded to rub his temples in exasperation. "So, I am going into work this morning, and if I don't feel up to working the full day, I won't. Satisfied?"

Nicholas sighed. "Okay. Fine. I obviously can't order you around forever either."

Something in his tone caused me to stop preparing the kids' lunches then, and I immediately attempted to lock eyes with my husband. "Nicholas... Is something going on here? Because, if it is, as your wife, I'd like to know..."

He sighed for a moment, looking as if he wanted to say something, but immediately looked at his phone then and turned to the kids. "Okay, kids! Say goodbye to Mama, because we've gotta get going this morning!"

Iana immediately got down from her booster seat and dashed over to me, hugging my legs as I bent down to kiss her forehead. "Bye, Mama," she said sweetly as I handed over her lunch. "See you later."

"See you later, baby," I replied as I turned to see Nicholas adjusting his briefcase and then picking up the baby bag, and then picked up the twins. "Need any help?" I asked, crossing over and putting the boys' lunches into the baby bag.

Nicholas shook his head. "No, I got it," he said, kissing my cheek. "Say goodbye to the boys then, honey. Boys, can you say bye to Mama?"

"Bye-bye, Mama," Clayton said.

"Bye, Mama," Fionn put in.

I smiled at the two of them and touched their heads briefly. "Put hats on the two of them, will you?" I asked.

Nicholas nodded, but I rolled my eyes and went off to get the hats for him. "Thank you," he said, meeting me at the front door, where Iana was waiting, in her coat, hat, mittens, and her bag all over her shoulder.

I nodded. "No problem. Have a good day."

"Love you," Nicholas said.

"Love you, too," I replied, watching as Iana opened the door and dashed outside, and Nicholas moved to follow with the twins.

I worked for the next three days, managing to keep my head down at work and somehow staying religious about my medication, but never going overboard. Because of my recovery process, I hadn't been able to attend AA meetings as often as I'd liked, but I had gone the month before to get my two-month sober chip. I often turned it over and over in my hands, pleased that I'd earned something like that, after all the time I'd struggled internally with the disease that had pecked away at my psyche.

On Friday, after several days of Nicholas passive aggressively telling me that I shouldn't have gone back to work so soon, I got off work and got into my car. Although every cell of my being was telling me to call Lip and go to a meeting with him, I drove in the opposite direction. When the red awning of The Alibi Room came into focus, something compelled me to pull over, park, and head inside. Stepping over the threshold, I immediately went to the bar, where Kev was serving, and hopped onto a stool. Kev turned as I sat, with a smile for me, and immediately got me a glass of water, and I saluted him for understanding. As I sipped it, V came around the corner and saw the glass, eyeing it with slight disapproval before she saw who its holder was, and she immediately came over.

"Sorry, Murph—I thought it was a loser trying to get something out of us for free."

I smiled at her. "I'll happily pay for it, V. I don't mind."

V shook her head. "Nah, girl, you're family. Don't worry about it. Just leave a nice tip before you go," she said, flashing me a smile. "Where the kids at?"

"Nicholas has them at home," I replied.

V nodded, leaning over the bar and considering it. "You don't sound very happy to be talking about your husband."

I shrugged. "It is what it is."

"What'd he do this time?" Kev asked, saddling up beside V.

I raised my eyebrows as I sipped my water. "What?" I asked, nearly choking on it at how severe Kev sounded.

"Listen, Murph, I don't know if Fi would want me to say this, but she kind of asked me and V to help look after you, now that she's gone."

I looked at them both, my eyes sliding from one to the other like we were at fucking Wimbledon or something. "I'm sorry. What?"

"She was like a sister to us, Murphy, which means that so are you," V put in. "Hell, you named one of your sons after Kev."

"Middle name, baby," Kev said to V, before flashing me a smile. "And you so didn't have to do that, but I am honored."

I smiled at them. "Well, I'm glad to have even more siblings," I said.

"Whatever you need, girl, we're here," V said, reaching out and squeezing my hand.

I bit my lip, considering that. "Well, maybe you two could just... Tell me something, you know, about my mother...about Monica. Fi, Lip, Ian, Debs, and Carl never really like talking about her, and besides, Liam doesn't really remember her. Carl's overseas somewhere, Fi's in New York and hated her, and the rest of them are busy with work, so I wouldn't want to use my time with them negatively..."

Kev sighed. "I heard from Fi she left you a letter."

I nodded. "Yeah, she did. She said that, looking back on it, she gave up the wrong twin," I said then, a bitter laugh escaping my mouth. "You know, because I'm Frank's kid, and Ian isn't. I guess I just want to know something..."

"She was the life of the party," Kev said quietly.

I looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah," V put in. "When she wasn't in one of her down moods, she was fun and energetic and everyone around her was automatically happy."

"Wonder if it would've made any difference," I said, sipping at my water.

"What, Murph?" Kev asked.

I sighed, hunching my shoulders. "I don't know. I guess, what I'm saying is, what if Monica hadn't given me up? Would my life be better now? I don't fucking know..."

"I know it's hard, girl..." V put in.

I shrugged. "You have a good mother, V. You're one of the lucky ones..."

The door suddenly swung open from behind us, letting in a rush of late-winter air then as someone stepped inside. "Hello, my brethren!" came a shout then, and my hackles immediately came up as the door slammed behind the person, and Frank sashayed in a triumphant manner up to the bar and sat down. "Boilermaker, please, Kev."

"Whatever, Frank," Kev said, moving away from me and preparing it for him, as V patted my hand and moved away from me.

"Well, well, well," Frank went on as his drink was placed in front of him, "if it isn't my third daughter, Murphy. How are ya, kid?"

I scoffed. "Worse off, now that you're here, Frank."

"Oh, come on," Frank said, getting to his feet and taking ahold of me by the shoulders and guiding me over to where he was sitting, along with some guys which could've been friends of his, although I had no idea. "Fellas, this is Murphy. My daughter."

"Who isn't your kid, Frank?"

"Come on, Kermit," Frank said. "Don't you see it? She's a spitting image of Monica!"

I yanked myself away from him. "Don't compare me to her, you sick son of a bitch! She may have abandoned me first, but you had more of a chance to make the situation right, and you chose not to. So, get the hell off me and away from me..."

"Uh-oh," Frank said, watching my expression then. "I know a marriage that's on the rocks when I see one, even if it's one-half the party."

I shot Frank a glare. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You don't appear to have been sleeping lately, my darling daughter, and you're clearly on edge about something. The kids okay?"

I scoffed. "They're fine, Frank. Not that they're any of your business..."

"Well, fine. Is work all right?"

"Yes, Frank. It's peachy."

"Well, then, it's gotta be you and Nicholas then. Am I right?"

"Yes, Frank. Whoop-di-doo. You were fucking right. Now, go jerk off in the bathroom and leave me alone," I muttered, sipping my water again.

Frank sighed. "Can't get drunk off that."

"Frank, I'm sober. Leave me alone."

"Kev, I'll have two shots of whiskey, please," Frank said, turning away from me and looking over at Kev. "Come on—make it snappy."

Kev rolled his eyes, but nevertheless produced the drinks. "Better slow down, Frank," he warned before stepping away.

Frank immediately reached forward and grabbed my glass of water away from me, before he slammed the whiskey in front of me. "This'll make you feel better."

I shook my head at him. "Get that poison away from me, Frank."

"Come on, Murphy—we're Irish," Frank said, "and today is a very special day. It's St. Patrick's Day, and thank god you're wearing green, because otherwise, I'd have to pinch you."

"If you pinched me, I'd have you on your ass in five seconds flat. Don't you fucking think about trying it, old man," I muttered, staring at the whiskey.

"Oh, fuck this," Frank said, making a grab for the whiskey and bringing it to my lips, where it poured effortlessly down my throat, despite my struggling and thrashing.

"Frank!" Kev screamed then, as I coughed, shaking all over as my senses seemed to dull almost immediately. "What the fuck have you done?!"

"Kev..." I whispered, my voice raw from the whiskey.

"Murph, it's okay. It's all okay..."

I raised my eyes to Kev's then, knowing that I was done, and that all was lost. "I'll have another one, Kev," I whispered.

"There, you see," Frank said happily, slapping me on the back. "That's my girl. She can hold it, Kev—she's a Gallagher."

"Murph, are you sure you—?"

"Yeah, Kev, I'm sure," I said, trying my best to enunciate. "Give me a bottle of Old Style, my drink of choice."

. . .

The next hour and a half was a haze of shouts, beer, and Frank and his friends—and, by extension, me—laughing in joy for St. Patrick, whoever the hell he was. As we continually slapped the counter for more and more booze, I felt no remorse going through me; in fact, I felt warm and happier than I had in a long time. Walking into The Alibi, I'd felt cold and unfeeling, and now I was slowly beginning to feel like my old self again.

I excused myself to go to the ladies room then, having taken about twenty minutes from my last beer to the present. I vaguely heard Frank ordering me another drink as I stumbled across the bar and into the bathroom, barely registering how distasteful the room itself was. I walked over to the sinks, methodically washing my hands, before I raised my eyes automatically to the mirror, and shuddered, gasping aloud then and darting back. I could barely make out my expression, as my vision was swimming, and I found I could barely stand.

No.

I began shaking all over again then as I returned to the sink, splashing water over my face to clear my senses like there was no tomorrow. It helped, slightly, as I fumbled into the pocket of my jeans, rummaging for my phone in my shaking hands. Quickly, I managed to get Lip's number keyed in, and brought the phone up to my ear, knowing that I could be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble, but I needed Lip, for he was the only one who would understand...

"Hey, Murph," he said when he picked up. "Working late?"

"L-Lip!" I managed to get out, a combination of fear and inebriation preventing me from speaking as clearly as I would like.

"Murph?" Lip said, immediately sounding concerned. "What's up?

"I'm... At The Alibi," I said, speaking in broken-up sentences as my vision slowly became fuzzy again, and I leaned up against the wall, in an effort to keep from falling.

"Murphy, please don't tell me that you..."

My knees buckled then as I dropped my phone, vaguely hearing it clatter to the floor as I dove for the first stall, falling to my knees. Once my head was in the toilet, I hurled like there was no tomorrow, my stomach acids burning everywhere from my intestines to my throat. I could unclearly hear Lip screaming at me from my phone, as my vision began experiencing black spots, and as I crumpled, in a heap, to the floor, my senses extinguishing.

. . .

"She's out of the woods, for now," said a voice as I slowly began to become aware of my surroundings again. "What is your relationship to the patient?"

"Older brother."

"Okay, then. And she is how old?"

"Murphy's twenty-six, and I'm twenty-eight..."

"All right. Well, she should be waking up any moment now. Your sister had a severe bout of alcohol poisoning, Phillip, but I'm sure that you'll watch over her. You mentioned in her intake forms that addiction runs in the family?"

"Yeah, our dad's an alcoholic, our mom was an addict and alcoholic. Murphy and I got the alcohol gene and really ran with it..."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Phillip," the woman went on, as I finally escaped completely from behind the curtain and looked around.

"Lip?" I managed to get out, and Lip turned to look at me.

"She's awake."

The curtain around my hospital bed was pulled back, and the doctor that Lip had been speaking to stepped forward. "Hello there, Murphy. How are you feeling?"

I sighed. "I'm okay. Now. I guess..."

"Well, you gave your brother quite a scare here," the woman said with a smile. "But, looking at your vitals, I'd say with some rest and the fluids we're giving you, you should fully recover, and be released tomorrow morning."

I nodded. "Thank you, doctor."

She nodded back. "No problem. Your brother can stay with you, if you like."

I turned to Lip, who raised his eyebrows, leaving it up to me. "Please," I said, and the woman gestured towards a chair beside my bed, and Lip sat, and then the woman left us alone. "I'm so sorry about this, Lip..."

"Sorry?" he asked. "Sorry for...?"

"Jesus," I muttered. "I'm sorry for letting Frank get to me, which directly led to my reckless behavior and breaking my sobriety. Two months...gone."

Lip leaned forward then. "Frank got to you?"

I sighed. "Wasn't all his fault, but he contributed to my actions this evening, yes."

"How do you mean?"

"Son of a bitch poured whiskey down my throat, and then..." I spread my hands. "Then, thinking clearly went out the window."

"Fuck, Murph."

I nodded. "I know. Fuck," I whispered.

"So, now comes the confessions..."

I turned and looked at Lip. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, obviously, we're going to have to tell Nicholas. Or you are..."

I stared at him in shock. "Are you fucking insane right now?!"

Lip looked startled. "What?"

"Lip, seriously, neither of us can tell him this," I whispered, my voice shaking.

Lip shook his head. "Wait. What are you talking about?"

"Lip, Nicholas said last time if this ever happened again, he'd take the kids away from me and to his parents' house, and god knows I've been on their shit list since Halloween," I said, putting my face into my hands. "Jesus Christ... If any of them get wind of this, I'm up shit creek, and I'll never live down my kids getting taken, Lip. It can't happen, it just can't."

Lip put his hand on my arm, and I immediately looked up at him. "Swear to me that this will never happen again."

"Lip..."

"Swear," he said, his silver eyes intense, and red-rimmed, leaving me to believe that I was further gone than I'd originally thought, and, suddenly, I truly came to grips with this entire situation we'd been faced with.

"I swear," I replied, meaning it from the bottom of my heart.

Lip sighed then, nodding, before he pulled back and sat regularly in his chair again. "Okay," he said quietly.

I blinked. "Okay?"

"Okay," he said. "I won't tell Nicholas. I'll cover your ass, Murphy, just this once, and try to figure out a way for you to get out of this mess without suspicion. I'll do whatever it takes for you to keep your kids, now that I have your word that it'll never happen again."

I nodded. "It won't."

Lip locked his eyes with mine. "I know it won't," he replied. "Because if it does, I'll go fucking ape shit and beat the shit out of you."

I sighed. "And part of me would let you, because I beat you right back."

Lip reached out and took my hand, squeezing it. "Gallagher's," he said softly.

I nodded back at him. "Gallagher's," I replied.