Jacob Black

I walked very slowly to my house. For one, I knew Billy would be waiting for me to spill all the details of what had happened in Volterra. I also had to face the Elders---that meant telling them about my new position in the pack, which I had begun to hate with a passion. And then there was Emily.

I could hear the humming voices in my house---me and my freaky sense of hearing as a werewolf. It sounded like they had been there for a while. Sighing, I hopped onto the porch, pausing for a second before opening the door. I couldn't postpone this forever. Inevitability winning this argument, I finally twisted the door knob.

"Jacob." my father seemed relieved. His eyes were soft as they appraised me, as if seeing if I had every limb attached. "I'd heard you guys were back. Good to see you're okay."

I nodded.

"We've been spending the days here the whole time, you know." he continued, chuckling nervously, "Waiting for the news." I could tell there was a double meaning in his words. Did everyone make it back? he was practically saying, Is everyone who went okay?

The room silenced, awaiting my answer. I shrugged off the pairs of eyes I felt drilling into me. The Elders watched me intently, along with Seth and Leah. She was looking over my shoulder with her annoyed face, as if expecting someone…like Sam.

"Where's Sam?" Seth finally asked aloud, curiosity burning in his wide, innocent eyes.

"He didn't make it." My voice cracked in the ghost of the whisper I had said those words with. My ears roared as melancholy became tangible in the atmosphere, and as if hearing through a thick bubble, as if there was a wall between me and the world, I could hear Emily. Her sobs were tearing through the air, ravaging the somber silence. They were wild, disturbing---and agonizingly heartbroken. I could feel my heartbeat stutter---I could feel her pain too. Seth stood frozen, his lips parted open in a perfect 'o'. Billy's face crumpled as he shook his head.

I knew that they all knew that someone else had to take Sam's place. They all knew that the second in command would take his place. And they all knew that that someone was me. No one dared mention it. How could they? Someone had died. And they all treasured Sam---he deserved it. I wasn't jealous, not wishing for attention or anything. All I wanted to be is to not be the one to have to tell everyone.

Emily's knees gave out, but I ducked so I could catch her.

"I'll take her to the reservation's clinic." I heard a young werewolf say. He held out his arms, and I gently rolled Emily into them. Somehow, her chest was still shaking. I could practically feel her bones rattling.

"You!" Leah snarled. She was trembling from head to toe. Her dark eyes were slits. "You let him die!"

She was shrieking, stepping forward. The boys that had been left behind from the trip from Volterra surrounded her, stopping her attack.

Seth was among them. "Leah," he said gently. "It wasn't Jake's fault. You know that."

"How do I?" she spat at him. "Now he gets the precious position of head of us. There's no way in hell I'm staying in the pack. She had furious tears streaming down her cheek.

I could feel the effect of her words now---I was getting angry. "You think I wanted Sam to die?" I shouted back. "He was everything to all of us, Leah. You think I want that? To have an entire pack on my shoulders. I suck at the leadership thing. I'm not the Alpha type or whatever you call it."

I felt tremors running down my back, feathering heat across my spine.

"It makes my life much harder than it needs to be." I muttered.

I heard Billy clear his throat to speak, but he didn't say anything when all the heads in the room turned to him. What was he going to say? 'Aw, sure, you make a great leader, kid'. That's what he was thinking; it was clear. His eyes were sympathetic as he looked at me.

Sam was dead---no one would be happy about the replacement of him. They didn't think of it as a promotion of some sort for me---it was the reminder that Sam had died. Sam, the great guy who had led us through the dark hour of our lives: our first phasing. He was so calm, so concentrated. He didn't deserve to die.

And I didn't deserve Alpha. I didn't want anyone's joy. I wanted them to understand that I was doing this with gritted teeth. That I hated that he was dead.

I could see Sam's wolf form falling to the ground in slow motion every time I close my eyes. It was like a constant screensaver.

"You can have Alpha if you want." I growled, seeing her eyes becoming infernos of their own. "I don't want it. I'm no good."

"Jacob…" my dad warned quietly.

"Don't" I turned to him. "I don't want to know."

I knew I was being immature and self-centered---and that I was in a havoc of Sam's death.

Leah flicked her brunette head towards the small wooden table. Before I could see the resolve in her eyes, she tossed the porcelain vase my way.

Leah took off through the door, and I could hear her clothes tearing as she shifted. I worked---I was already more than incensed---and I phased.

I raced after her, seeing the images of trees and more trees in her mind. She had run so fast that she was already immersed in the forest.

Her thoughts were clouded with triumph that she had gotten me to follow her. It only made me run faster. I could hear her hysterical barks as my paws slapped against the ground, trying to catch her.

Not what Sam would have done…I heard a small voice think. Seth.

Damn it, kid! I thought to him loudly. Go away.

As if defying me on mass decion, I could hear various other voices begin to ricochet around my head. Some of them were digging for what had happened to Sam, to see my memory of his death.

Leah, I could tell, was trying to focus on something else---she was shouting an obnoxiously loud Disney tune. She was running and running, way past the reservation.

I heard the quiet gasps and unanimous graveness as the pack saw Sam's final fall. Leah's piercing howl sent shivers up my spine---she had seen the memory. Now she was pushing for more speed. She only wanted to get away from this 'cruel, messed-up world', as her thoughts had put it.

Stay outta my head!

She was growling fiercely.

The instant after she said that, I caught a glimpse of her mind---she had slipped from her angry self, letting an errant thought show.

Her heart had shattered, and had absolutely lost its will to live. At the same time, she was enraged and devastated.

And she didn't want twenty teenage wolves hearing her every heartbroken thought---she wanted to be tough. She wanted to prove that she belonged in the pack. Only now, it had a different Alpha, one that meant so little to her. And it would be a constant reminder of Sam's absence.

I could practically feel the edges of her mangles heart burning through that one second. That one second, she had let us see insight into her mind.

I stopped running after her, and said my first command as the Alpha of the Quileute werewolves of La Push.

Let her be, I said, Let her go.

Because I knew that feeling of heartbreak too well myself. After all, Bella had once upon a time chosen that filthy leech as the thing to center her life around. The wolves heeded my command; all of them phased back into their human form.

Sorry. I thought once all of the guys were gone. Sorry, Leah.

In that one word of apology, I was trying to tell her that I understood, and that I knew what living everyday alone while you waited for your fairy tale to come along.

Bull. She thought bitterly, and her thoughts disappeared. Leah had gone out of the pack-thought-hearing range.

I feel so guilty for not updating as often as I'd promised. I'm really trying, though. My schedule is hectic---my life is full of scheming IB teachers. They are ruthless when it comes to homework and project loads. No excuses, I know, but now I have to make an exception to my promise: if the day that I am supposed to make my update is a Monday, expect it on Tuesday...If you remember, I have FYO until 11:00 pm, so that means zero time to write.

I want to know what you think of Jacob's POV. I was debating whether I should have only a couple of chapters in his POV or the middle part of "Dark Hour" (like Breaking Dawn...). Please let me know in your review.

Unfortunately, we did not reach the 250 review mark with last chapter. That kind of put me down a bit...but I realized I was asking too much of you guys. So the 250th reviewer will get a shout-out in the next chapter.

-Alice