It isn't me
10: Do you like Barry, Dawn?
(No I don't - yes you do)
She never ever wants it to end. Could that be so wrong? No. Since he's like candy, drenched in sugar and increases her sugar-rush, tastes the sweet temptation that he creates inside her and she never ever wants it to stop. She knows that she's ridiculous and naïve, but why would that be wrong when she's a seventeen-year-old girl in love with the most wonderful, wonderful boy in the word? And she never comes with an answer, because there not any and that's enough for her to believe, to understand that this is real.
"Drew, why didn't you tell me before? Why did you wait?" she asks and smiles and laughs and he only smirks. Flicking with his hair as usual, and she loves, loves, loves the gesture so much since it's his and she wants everything that's his.
She's lost. She's in love. She's stuck in the trap and doesn't want to get out. Maybe that's wrong.
"Why didn't YOU tell me before", he asks back and moves his finger across her arms, making her shiver. His fingertip is so warm, creating butterflies and flying fairytales inside her that she believes, trusts is real. "You can't just blame me here."
She grins. Wants to hug him but doesn't, because she can't move too far, yet. Even though she wants. This has gone on for only one week but it feels like an eternity. Since the start, since she met him for the first time on Slateport's coast, before her first contest, she has felt something for him. Maybe it wasn't love, not from the start, but it grew, grew and grew and now it's too big for her to handle. And he wants to handle it for her. She may be naïve but why would it end, when it's so clear and pure and perfect? Brendan's doubts couldn't change a thing, he may be worried for her but he has a girlfriend and she's happy. Drew is wonderful. Why would it end? No. There is no point. "You always said the rose was for Beautifly."
"Don't drag that argument for an eternity. It wasn't just me. It was you as well that denied it."
"Not as much as you do."
He smiles. "Maybe not."
She smiles back and rests her chin on his shoulder. "But now it's different. I like you. Love you."
He looks out from the window, where the sunset sun draws red lines in the blue, blue sky. Doesn't answer. That doesn't matter. He must feel the same as her. Doesn't he?
"I want to go home", Misty says with tears in her eyes, trying to remove the pasta sauce from the face with the napkin. She feels embarrassed and naked and vulnerable (and tomboyish and inhuman.) She couldn't act like a girl, she only messes up, strings the reality to twisted dimensions even though she knows nothing will change. She's like this. She messes things up. Ash doesn't want her.
His brown eyes searches for her baby-blue but she eagerly looks at the table, with burning tears and blushing cheeks. Why doesn't he say anything? Is he laughing? Oh, Mew, why did she ask him for a date, why couldn't you turn back time and try again? This is totally ruined and she can't do anything about it.
"I'm sorry Ash." She isn't used to apologize, usually it's different but she isn't angry anymore, just sad. This isn't his fault. It's easier that way, when she can blame someone, but now she can't, only herself. Her stupid, stupid clumsiness. She hates it.
She hears a chair move back, scrapes on the floor and she looks up, notices that he has reached up from the chair and moves towards her. With hands on the table she looks up, tries to read his intentions but to no avail, you just never may to read this guy. He doesn't touch her, he doesn't, he just stands there and she doesn't know why but somehow it feels soothing; that he doesn't walk away and leaves her here with only her shame to keep her company. Maybe she has misread this guy. Just maybe, maybe.
Maybe.
"You don't have to apologize, Misty", he says with a calm, soft voice she doesn't recognize, with him there's all jokes and no real seriousness but perhaps there is a side he hides well, to pick up when he really needs it. Like now.
She smiles. Smiles through her angry tears.
"But I look awful", she murmurs, desperately hoping that he would disagree.
He does. But not in the way she has hoped. Maybe it doesn't work to fly with chapped wings after all.
"No, no", he exclaims, walking to the other side of the table again. "You only look like a pizza and-"
"Thanks Ash!" she grits through her tears and starts to cry again. Her flushing cheeks remind her who he is and who he always had been. She's stupid if she assumes something else. Ash is the best, best friend you could have, always there for you, always cares for you, but taking him to the altar is one hell of a challenge with many tears and disappointments on the way. And she's still not sure what he fells for her. How could he when he acts like this?
"Don't be angry now, Misty, I'm only toying with you and-"
"I don't want you to fool around with me, Ash", she snarls and throws the napkin in his face. "This is the most awkward date I've never attended and you act like you don't care. Don't you care about me? You act like this is nothing for you, like an originally meeting but it isn't. It just isn't."
She wonders if she should just leave the restaurant and him but one part of him still wants to give him a chance. Chance to prove something different, different rules and endings in this play.
"Come on, Misty, don't do this", he murmurs and starts to tear the napkin, small bits falling down at his lap. His eyes wander around, not looking at her and she isn't surprised, he never does that when he's nervous or stressed. Wait, nervous? Is he nervous? Then maybe, maybe-
Maybe?
"This is hard for me you know", he continues, crossing his arms. "Since I've knows you for so long and we've this 'best friend' relationship for so long and doing this, taking this farther, higher, I don't know what to do, how to treat you. I want to act cool, act like I normally do but you don't seem to want that anymore."
She signs, wiping away tears that have started to dry on her cheeks. "I don't want you to change. I never wanted that. But I want you to realize that I like you. I don't want you to avoid the truth. I'm still a girl after all and this is very embarrassing for me."
He smiles and gets his stupid comments out again. He will never learn. "Are you a girl? Really."
"Ash!"
"Sorry, sorry!"
She mutters for herself and knows that he laughs on the inside and finds this more hilarous than the soap operas that wander around the television. He's the guy to laugh when a girl is crying. Stupid bastard. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm even interested in you", she says, rolling with her eyes.
"I don't know."
There's a pause no one seems to be interested to fill. She doesn't know what to say anymore. But then Ash surprises her by reaching out a hand and dragging her up from the chair. She blushes. Arceus, she blushes even though he has treated her more badly than a rock. What's wrong with her?
She's in love with him. That's what wrong with her. And she can't seem to be displeased by it. Not at all.
"Let's leave this place. And go out."
She stares. The words "go out" don't fit if you try to describe Ash's intrestests. But she agrees – she likes to dance – and wraps her arm around his as he leaves the money on the table and walks out to the closest pub in Cerulian City.
He knows the city fairly well. She likes that. Thinks of that as a sign. That maybe he likes her after all. Deep inside. If you squint.
"So, what have you been up to, Dawn?", Kenny asks as he's ordering a coca-cola in the closest café in Oreburgh city. She thinks about the question for a while, wondering how she would lay up the answer, flicking with her pink skirt as she lets her mind wander. He nods at the glass filled with coca-cola, a gesture that wonders if she wants the same. She nods.
She can admit she's a little nervous. For him, contests have been everything. And telling him that she doesn't want to bet on them fully anymore isn't that alluring to tell him. But still, it's Kenny after all and he often understands, at least when it comes to her. He really is a great friend. Somewhat annoying but if you've travelled with Ash you know about true pain. Geez, that guy really has the ability to make her mind go fuzzy. He's a great friend though and she doesn't regret spending time with him.
"I'm trying for the eight badge run", she finally admits, as she pours up cola in her glass. "Not that I want to completely end my Contest-career, it's more like I want to try something else."
He laughs and lays his elbow on the table, while looking her straight in the eyes. He really has big eyes, which makes him look younger than he really is, a fact he loathes. When she traveled with Ash and Brock (and Pikachu) she thought that Kenny might be in love with her and after Ash participated in the league he told her that it was the case but understood that she didn't feel the same. And she doesn't. She can't find it when it comes to him, the flatter, the thin-winged butterflies. But she's happy that he'd understand that she can't give him what he wants. It makes things easier. Much easier.
"I knew it", he exclaims and clinking his glass with hers, a gesture that only makes her confused. "Come on, Dawn, I know you that well that when you understood that you're cute even though you don't brush your hair three hours a day that you would understand the happiness in training your Pokémon and gaining experience."
"Oh", she says, smiling slightly. "I thought you would be angry."
"For that? Come on. So, do you've a boyfriend yet?" he then asks and tilts his head in what he thinks a wondering gesture but that she counts as a 'tell-me-or-I-leave-you-here-with-the-bill'- gesture.
"No."
"No? Why?"
"I don't need a boyfriend to gain badges you know."
"But still!" He blushes a little and stops looking at her, focusing more on the drink. She can't help but to feel a little sorry for him. Feelings aren't easy. Just look at May. She's consumed by them and it takes over her life, her thoughts. Dawn really doesn't envy her. "Didn't you like Ash?"
She laughs. That's the most ridiculous thing she has heard today. "Ash? Come on, he's so into Misty. They love each other!"
"Oh. But Brock then? He seems like a nice fellow. And he cooks food!"
"I'm not that spoiled you know. And he's too old." As Kenny is busy spinning the straw around in her drink she orders a strawberry cake. She thinks she need that after the failure at the gym.
"Cyrus?"
She rolls her eyes. "You're very funny, Kenny."
"Of course DeeDee."
"Don't call me that."
"I thought you wanted a nickname."
"You have to come up with something better than that."
He signs and takes another sip. A brown strand of hair hangs in front of his face. "Professor Rowan?"
"Please."
"Barry?"
She becomes quiet, like she always is when someone mentions the blonde jester from Twinleaf Town. Not that she's that interested in him (and he definitely isn't intrestered in her), but he has an ability to mark a footprint in your face, you just can't forget him. He runs, he hurries, but he's still there.
Kenny finds her silence as a sign that she feels something for Barry. "Aha! Tell me about it. What have he done to you?"
"Nothing", she snaps, putting her spoon in the cream. "Sure, we've some contact but you know-"
"I don't know. Tell me."
"Listen I-"
But she gets interrupted by her phone, she lays down the spoon with a clink on the plate and clenches the phone between ear and shoulder, a habit she uses to much that's it goes per automatism.
It's May. A very happy May.
"Dawn, you've to hear this but I and Drew are so happy together! You see, he likes me and I like him and-"
May repeats, she stumbles on her words and Dawn's overall summary of the dialog only contents information about how 'cool', and 'hot' and 'wonderful' Drew is. She's happy for May thought since she wanted it to happen from the very start. Some people are born for each other. Like Ash and Misty. Like May and Drew. And Dawn and Barry don't really suit under that condition.
When Dawn hangs up Kenny looks at her with curious eyes. "Who was that?"
"Dialga", she jokes but becomes serious when she receives an angry scowl from him that reminds her of Paul (that jackass.) "No. It was May. You know the one, super beautiful, wonderful Coordinator in Hoenn that owns everything?"
He rolls with his eyes as he moves himself to a more comfortable position in the chair. "You sound like a fan girl."
"I am!" she exclaims. "Anyway, she's together with Drew. Drew Hayden. You know that guy, don't you?"
"Everybody knows about him. And I don't like him."
She gives him a look. This is interesting and since Kenny is such a noble and kind person you should listen to his complains. "Why?"
He shudders. "I don't know. It's just an impression. He seems cocky."
"He is cocky. Come one. You're not the kind, silent type yourself."
"Thanks."
"I think we should be happy for her though", she says and digs in her cake, lifting the spoon towards her mouth only resulting in that she gets cream in her face.
"Didn't Joanna teach you how to eat properly?" he asks and she glares. "I'm just worried about her, Dawn. You know how dangerous it is being in love. It can end."
"I know. But we must understand that she's happy and wants to stay happy. She told me that her 'friend' Brendan also told her about the risks being with Drew. She doesn't need to hear it. Drew is fine."
"Drew is fine", he repeats, but not sounding too delighted. She chooses to let that slip though, as she removes the cream with the napkin.
And then three hours pass and she finds himself with big apple cheeks and a bright smile after the conversation with her childhood friend. He's wonderful. He really is.
"But Dawn", he says after he pays for the drinks and cake. "You really should ask Barry out."
Silence. It's always this silence. Since that happened. Words just don't come out. Nothing gets said. It's like it's over. But it can't be over. She doesn't want it to be over.
"He must come home", she hears a voice and she nods, since it's true. He must come home. Things can't remain like this. Not anymore.
"He must come home."
When Drew is gazing at the stars that night he wonders if he's just ignoring the obvious and if he's okay with that.
He doesn't know the answer.
A/N: It seems like all the people ends at cafés, doesn't it? Ah well. It's too late to do something about that. I hope you like this chapter even though nothing happens :P
I know the ending is a little confusing. But that's how it should be. You will understand it, eventually. And sorry about the kind of implying twinleafshipping, but I love that ship and... yeah