Disclaimer: I don't own warehouse 13, I merely borrowed its characters in an attempt to tell a fantastic story.
AN: Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, for reviewing and giving me good advice and kind words and constructive criticism. It was you who became the driving force behind this story, because I honestly didn't think anyone would want to read this. I tried my best to write an original story while still remaining true to the characters we have fallen in love with over the last four years. If in some way I did not, I apologize. Without further ado, here is the final chapter of Dream a Better Dream.
Chapter 10: Aftermath
In the wake of terrible tragedy lies bitter sweet happiness: laughter tinged with tears, hope echoed by sadness, and a deeper love, whose weight crushes the soul. In this love, hope and laughter we begin to rebuild the tattered remains of our life, but we leave the old walls lying destroyed and undisturbed inside our towers of defense, as a shrine to the true happiness that once was ours.
And this can either offer us strength and hope.
Or it can destroy us.
There were tears, and hugs, but Myka seldom remembered the moments after she woke up.
And despite having been told that she was asleep for 36 days, she was exhausted.
From the moment she opened her eyes to see Helena, sitting at the side of her bed, clutching her hand as if she were afraid without it she would float away, tears streaming down her pale cheeks and a mix drink of sorrow and joy in her dark eyes, Myka felt the seeds of doubt begin to sprout in her.
"What are you doing here?" Myka croaked, trying to sit up but failing miserably, and not just because her arms were still strapped to the railings of the bed.
She felt panic choking her at being held down and defenseless. HG saw the distress of a trapped animal in Myka's wide eyes and moved to undo the straps holding her captive.
"Damn it!" she swore, more tears falling as she struggled with the leather and metal clasps, her vision was blurry and her hands were shaky, and her fingers would just not cooperate and she was getting frustrated.
Myka's heart monitor spiked, and her feet began to jerk slightly with the need to run. She didn't remember getting to the hospital, what had happened? Why was she here? The last she remembered was standing with HG in their bedroom.
"Please, darling, stop struggling, I don't want you to hurt yourself," the inventor pleaded as she took a deep and calming breath, she swallowed the lump that was lodged in her throat before turning her attention back on the restrains. She got them off quickly.
Myka scrambled backwards, holding her wrists in her hands, staring dumbly at the brace covering her left leg, and at both wrapps on her wrists.
"Why was I tied down?" HG could hear the pain in Myka's voice, causing her own heart to twist painfully.
"You cut yourself, do you remember?" Helena asked slowly, wondering if she should call in a nurse or a doctor to help, but instead she wanted to be selfish for a moment and have the curly haired woman all to herself.
Myka misunderstood the question the artificer was asking, she narrowed her eyes, "For the last time, Helena, I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was trying to wake up!" she snapped.
"Is that why you went in that barn?" Helena's concern shifted to anger, "Because, if you ask me, anyone who chases down a man on her own in a dark, god forsaken barn in the middle of bloody Alaska, I must question their sanity and will to live!"
"Wait?" Myka's face fell blank, "You-you believe me?"
"Believe you?" Helena's brow contorted with confusion, "Darling Claudia called me, you and Pete were on assignment, do you remember that?"
Myka nodded slowly, "Yeah, yeah. What happened, was I hit with an artifact?"
"Yes, a Doctor William James' Manuscript." Helena didn't say more, afraid to ask what had happened in the 36 days her agent was trapped in the labyrinth of her own mind.
"That explains the weird day I had." She mumbled, no longer looking up but staring at the fringe of the thermal blanket over her.
"Was it only one day?" Helena tried to keep her tone light, not wanting to alert the agent.
Myka's eyes held so much pain and sorrow when she finally looked up at Helena, "Just one day. One perfect day."
"Darling," She rose from where she was sitting and moved to stand closer to Myka, "You were unconscious for over a month."
She let that information sink in as the younger woman's eyes grew distant once more, "A month?" her voice rose in pitch.
"Nearly five weeks, actually." She brushed a stray curl behind her ears, enjoying the soft skin beneath her fingertips for the brief contact.
"So did they…?" she seemed unsure how to finish the question, she was trying her damnedest to live in the present, knowing full well she did not have the strength to look back on her perfect day.
"We caught the men responsible, retrieved a great deal of the artifacts," HG watched Myla closely, trying to figure out where her mind kept checking out to, "And Steven and Peter just put the manuscript in the static bag. Which is why you're here now, back with us."
Myka threw her head back into the wall and looked up, laughing once mirthlessly, "Right, back to reality… Why are you here HG?" Myka shut her eyes tight.
"I came for you, Myka," she spoke softly, "Claudia called and I came straight away. I worked with Arthur and Steven and Peter to retrieve the artifact."
"Why?" there was anger in her voice now as she turned her eyes on the Brit.
"What do you mean why, Myka?" Helena pulled back, even though the increased space seemed to physically hurt her.
"You worked so hard to build your perfect life outside of the Warehouse, you didn't need to come back." Myka swallowed the bitter taste of the words in her mouth as she pulled on the closed off mask.
"But, Myka, I-,"she tried.
"What I meant," the agent interrupted, "Was that I didn't want you to come. You should have stayed with Nate in Wisconsin.
"Darling, you don't understand," Helena's eyes pricked with tears once more, her heart was breaking, or at least what was left of it, reserved for Myka.
"Helena, I want you to leave," Her eyes were hard as jade as she stared down the woman, her jaw clenched, hands balled in fists, "Please, I need you to leave."
Helena clutched at her locket, making no move towards the door, the two woman stood, each waiting for the other to break first.
The door opened before that happened, "Squeal of delight!" the tech geek's voice was thick with emotion as she entered the room, having eyes only for the agent who had become a big sister to her, "You're awake! It actually worked?"
She fell to the bed, hugging Myka who squinted in pain, but held the young agent closer anyway. Artie was right behind the red head, looking happy, his glasses strangely misted.
He cleared his throat gruffly as he approached the edge of the bed, "Agent Bering, it's good to see you up right."
Myka pulled him in for a hug as well, "Yeah, HG was telling me that I was unconscious for over a month?" she rose an eye brow, looking for conformation.
"865 hours actually," Claudia shrugged, trying to hide the tears in her eyes, and Myka saw a weariness there that hadn't been there before, the purple shadows beneath her eyes, the fact that it looked as if she had lost some weight in a scary way.
"Jesus, Mykes you scared us," the red head cried as she hugged Myka once more.
"You said HG was here?" Artie looked around, "I wanted to thank her…"
It was then the agent noticed that the inventor had left, a pang of sadness tore through her, but she swallowed it, accepting her reality in small doses.
She couldn't trust this was real with Helena here, it was too perfect. And she couldn't risk yet another non-goodbye with that woman. The one she dreamed was nearly too much. She wasn't 100% sure that this place she was in now was real either. It felt real, but, then again, so had the day she just lived.
She stayed in the hospital for another three days, mandatory no matter how much Myka fussed. She still believed she had somehow tried to kill herself while in a coma, and they had to keep her for a psych evaluation and observation. Pete and Claudia took turns with her, never leaving her alone, catching her up on things she missed in the last month, telling her stories, keeping her company.
They didn't want to admit they were afraid for her. She had this strange look in her eye, and she would go into this trance, that took a bit of yelling to retrieve her from. But she seemed anxious to get home, get on with her life. And she vehemently refused to tell anyone what happened while she was… away. When she screamed at Pete to stop badgering her and back the fuck off, they stopped asking.
She was on what amounted to house arrest. She spent most of her time in her room, reading. Sometimes she would go sit outside and just stare at the leaves. She hated walking around with the crutches she had to use thanks to her fractured leg, but she didn't complain out loud.
Abigale was constantly trying to get her to talk about her experiences when she was locked in her subconscious, but Myka couldn't stand the thought of anymore psychobabble bullshit, so she avoided the Warehouse shrink.
One morning, as Myka sat by herself in the garden, Pete joined her. He was quiet for a moment, debating internally how to broach this subject without getting his throat torn out.
"I can't believe she left." He spoke, not bothering to mention to whom he was referring, "I mean, after all the shit she did and said to me, I figured she would stick around for a while. I guess she's always been good at playing me though, right?"
"I told her to leave." Myka's voice was flat as she continued to stare into space.
"Why would you do that, Mykes?" Pete's eyebrows mashed together as his mouth turned down.
"I figured the faster we got it over with, the less painful it would be when she went back to him." She shrugged.
"Uh, earth to Myka," he tapped lightly on her temple, pulling his hand back when she made a grab for it, "HG left Nate a long time ago. She was coming back to stay, this time."
"She left him?" she turned to look at Pete finally, the barest hint of emotion in her eyes returning.
"She didn't tell you? She was with you at the hospital when you woke up, she was sure of that." Pete shook his head at his partner's foolishness.
"I guess I didn't really give her a chance," Myka turned back around, mask firmly back in place, "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."
Pete didn't know how to deal with this Myka. This impossible to reach woman who would rather sit and stare at nothing all day then let her partner in. As far as Pete was concerned, there was only one person who could reach her now.
Pete left to the Warehouse, leaving Myka all alone in the B&B for the first time in two weeks. She hobbled her way to the kitchen, hoping nobody had found her stash of whiskey in the kitchen. She didn't drink from it before, out of respect for Pete living under the same roof, and it was far too early to start drinking, but right then, she didn't care.
She poured a shot and set it on the counter, staring at the amber liquid, knowing this first shot was going to lead to another. And another. And another. Until she couldn't feel this aching emptiness throbbing inside of her.
She took a breath, and threw down he first shot.
"I don't care, Claud," Pete said as he paced the office in the Warehouse, "You found her once before, I'm sure you can again."
Claudia sat at her desk, watching Pete was making her dizzy, so she looked to the others for help. Jinks was leaning on her desk, hand on the back of his neck, the two resident doctors claimed the couch, their poses identical while the women were so different, and Artie sat in his own office chair, staring carefully at Claudia.
"Pete, you don't understand, I got lucky!" The red head tapped her fingers quickly on the arm rests, "She kept Emily Lake's cellphone, and it was easy enough to track."
"Can't you do that again?" Pete tried.
"You don't think I've tried?" Claudia's voice dripped with acid, "Please, Pete, that first day she came back, I tried to call Helena, figure out where she ran off to. The number has been disconnected."
"It's prudent that we find Helena," Abigale interjected, "Agent Wells and Agent Bering have had a very close relationship, and this latest incident of reckless behavior did not deter her from her downward spiral. In fact, it seems to have aggravated it, whatever her experiences were in her mind, she isn't coping with them. I fear, without someone getting through to her, Myka will truly be lost."
"How do we find her?" Every one turned to Claudia for answers, but, for once, the young woman had none.
"You could always just ask." At the sound of Ms. Fredricks' voice, everyone jumped and turned to look where she had appeared behind Pete, "I always know where all my agents are, and the Warehouse seems to be quite fond of Ms. Wells."
"Well, where is she?" Pete asked, hands open and face pleading.
"I imagine she is on her way to the bed and breakfast." She smiled knowingly at the baffled agents.
"What? How?" Artie asked, his jaw hanging.
"Ms. Wells never left Univille, and she has been keeping a close eye on Agent Bering, but this is the first time you have all left her alone long enough for Helena to speak with her." She shook her head at them, as if they were foolish children, but smiling fondly still.
They looked sheepishly away, "We were afraid she was going to do something to herself." Steve admitted when no one else would.
"Don't worry about Agent Bering," she assured them, "Everything will turn out exactly as it should."
Helena was good at breaking and entering. Well, it wasn't really breaking, she supposed, if you could get the lock undone. Unlawful entering, maybe, but this B&B felt like home to her, so she didn't feel too bad, even though she had sworn off illegal activities.
She tip toed down the hall, she knew no one was here except her and Myka, she just wasn't sure where to find her. The Living room was empty, and the dining room, the kitchen had one knocked over shot glass and a cabinet that was left open, but no Myka.
She heard a thump overhead and moved quickly for the stairs. All the doors were closed, save the very one that lead to Myka's bedroom, it was left slightly askew and it was from there that came a low string of curses.
Helena sighed sadly before opening the door.
Myka sat on the edge of her bed, a half empty bottle of whiskey held tightly between two hands. She was staring out the window, a million miles away. More specifically, 1,411 miles away in Kamloops.
If she was honest, sometimes she was still confused. She would wake in a cold sweat and think she needed to go check on Caleb, she would go down stairs and half expect to find Leena in the kitchen, and sometimes, she reached out in her sleep and expected to find a warm body.
She thought she hadn't allowed herself to give in to the fantasy, but it had originated in her mind, and she still felt the echoes of it in her empty chest.
Thanks to the alcohol burning in her stomach and her current indulgence of the way things could have been, she didn't think anything of the beautiful, raven haired woman standing before her now. She gently removed the bottle of Jack from her hands and placed it somewhere out of her sight. She crouched down so she could look up into Myka's eyes.
"Myka, darling?" Myka touched HG's face softly with the tips of her fingers, and while she leaned into the warm touch, she knew Myka wasn't really there, "Please, darling, come home. Come back to me." She begged.
After a couple of slow blinks, Myka focused her attention on Helena's chocolate eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I made a promise that I wasn't going to leave you ever again, and that is a promise I intend to keep." HG rose, and stepped back from Myka, sensing her about to explode.
"I thought you'd gone back to Wisconsin? Now that I am back and all, wouldn't want you hanging out somewhere you didn't want to be for the sake of your virtue." Myka growled, "Where did you put my drink?"
"I've hidden it away for now, you don't need it." Helena spoke sternly, leaving no room for argument, "And for your information, Agent Bering, I left Nate soon after your last visit."
"Why?" she asked, and Helena could still see the doubt in her eyes.
"Because he wasn't you." She admitted in a near whisper, "And I knew I made a mistake, I just didn't know how to fix it. I couldn't come back here with half assed apologies and expect you to take me back, not after all I did to you."
"No," Myka shook her head, fear returning to her glazed over eyes, "This isn't real, right? It can't be…"
"God, Myka, I wish this weren't real!" Helena ran a hand through her dark hair, "The things I did to get you back…" Myka could see the horror as she relived something that had happened while she was in her coma, "I nearly killed a man, I broke his bones! I hung his partner upside down in a barn and held a gun to his head! I wish I didn't have to do that… I wish I had returned to you sooner, stopped you from running into that blasted barn! But I was scared, Myka! Terrified that if I didn't do absolutely everything in my power I was going to lose you. This time for good."
Myka wanted to give in, to run to HG and hold her, tell her that it was going to be alright, that this memory wouldn't haunt her forever, but she didn't move, something held her back, and HG could see the doubt and confusion still there in her eyes.
"Tell me what happened," HG resumed her position on her knees in front of the woman she had always loved, "Please, tell me what happened that you are so afraid to believe me when I say I want you?"
Tears glistened in both women's eyes as they stared into one another for an extended moment, Myka took a breath, the last person who she wanted to tell was also the one she felt most compelled to confide in.
"We were married," she began, and Helena's eyes widened briefly, weather at the thought of being married to Myka, or her disbelief that she was actually talking to her after she had so firmly shut everyone out, "You and I. We lived in a house in Kamloops."
"Were is Kamloops?" Helena inquired, eyebrow quirking.
"British Columbia," Myka looked away briefly, face flushing, "In Canada. God it was so real…"
"It wasn't real," Helana repeated firmly, "So tell me anyway."
"It could have been real," Pain resurfaced in her eyes, "I wish for your sake it was real. Christina was there."
"She was?" Helena felt the words leave her as a breath, of course Myka's perfect world would consist of the one person Helena missed most, which would make her whole again, "What was she like?"
A smile, though still tinged with great sadness, appeared on her face, "She was a teenager, but smart, and beautiful, and exactly like her mom. She worked with Claudia in the warehouse, even though you hated it, she loved it, so you let her keep doing it."
"Tell me more, who else was there?" Helena prodded.
Myka opened her mouth, then shut it, rethinking what she was going to tell her, "Leena was alive. She ran a B&B in Kamloops."
"Tell me, why in god's name were we in Canada?" Helena chuckled through the tears she felt flowing down her face still.
"Artie and Mrs. Fredricks had retired," she explained, "And so I was the new supervisory agent, and Claudia was the controller, so we decided to relocate, and we built Warehouse 14. And it was perfect, organized exactly how I would have had it." She sighed wistfully and Helena smiled, "You were a regent, Pete and Steve retrieved artifacts and everyone was happy."
"That sounds beautiful," HG nodded, "But what aren't you telling me?"
Tears came faster now for Myka, "We had a baby boy, Caleb. He was only eight months old, but he was so amazing, he had my eyes, and these dark curls. Christina adored him and everyone fawned over him."
"Why does this memory cause you the most pain, love?" Helena knew the answer, but she wanted Myka to be able to tell her.
"Because I can never have it," she whispered, "I didn't think I would ever want a baby, and then I found out that I have cancer and all hope went out the window?"
"Why didn't you tell me?" HG asked, "I would have come back to you."
"I know you would have, but you were so happy with your new life, I didn't want to pull you away from that because I was selfish."
"You could never be selfish with me, darling," Helena reached up and brushed tears from the other woman's flushed face, "I already belong solely to you."
A sob was retched from Mykas chest, and Helena moved to join her on the bed, to hold her head to her chest and let her cry as she ran a hand over her wild curls.
"I know it wasn't real," Myka spoke between tears, "I knew it while I was there, and I know that now. So why? Tell me why it hurts so bad having lost it?"
"I know, I know," HG rocked her slightly, "It hurts the worst to lose the things we could never have. I wish I knew why. I wish I could take your pain away, my love."
HG hated this feeling in her. It was so hard to watch someone she loved in so much pain. Physical injuries were easy, they healed after enough time, she knew how to alleviate the pain of a bruise, a cut, a broken bone. But this was so far beneath the surface, these scars were seared on to Myka's heart, and she didn't know how to balm the burning and twisting feeling she knew she now felt.
"I know that you have lost a lot," she began, "More than anyone should, you lost an entire future that was put in front of you. You lived it, love, you lived that day and all the feelings and attachments in it. You lost your family, your son, you lost Leena all over again and Christina," her voice broke over her daughter's name, "But I promise you one thing."
Myka looked expectantly into Helena's eyes, "What's that?"
"You haven't lost me, and you never will again," Her voice was steady, her hands warm as she cupped Myka's face between them, "I love you Myka Bering, and I swear to you, I will not leave you.
Myka didn't think, partially due to the whiskey still thick in her system, but mostly because she was tired of holding herself back form the things she wanted most. And right now, that was the feel of HG's soft lips moving beneath her own.
At first, Myka tasted like the whiskey she had turned to, but soon she tasted like something else, something pure and good and Myka. And HG knew that now that she had a taste of the woman clinging to her, it wasn't going to be enough. She wanted her, all of her all the time, far beyond the foreseeable future.
The moment their lips met, Myka was finally sure this was real, the electricity she felt at their connecting, the molten heat that spread through her… it was better than she could have ever imagined herself. That's when it dawned on her. Helena was here, here. With her. On her bed. Kissing her.
Helena felt Myka fully give in as she tangled her fingers in to her raven hair that was soft as silk, pulling her closer as she deepened the kiss, tilting HG back until she fell on top of her.
Lost in the moment, they let hands wander. Helena's fingers traced over her ribs, memorizing the feel of the soft skin beneath her hands. Myka's hands traveled from Helena's hair, tracing lightly over her neck, her shoulder. She moaned into Helena's mouth when the other woman brushed her fingers over her hips. Her touch was firm and yet soft and it was doing a far better job making Myka forget everything than the whiskey had. She moved her hands down to unbutton Helena's shirt. She got half way down before HG's fingers encircled her wrists, stopping their movement.
Helena chuckled softly before rolling, reversing their positions so that Myka was staring up at dark eyes, nearly black with lust. But she could see the war of emotions playing on her face, and she stopped her hands that had begun to trace themselves up HG's thigh.
"What?" she asked breathlessly.
"We can't do this yet." HG balled her fists on her thighs and shut her eyes tightly.
"What? Why not?" Myka's question almost sounded like a plea, and HG nearly gave in, but the smell of whiskey steeled her resolution.
"Darling, I love you," Helena gasped, "And there is nothing I want more than to finally give into the want I have for you, to touch and taste you like I should have long ago, I must stop. I will not have the first time we make love be while you are drunk on whiskey."
Myka groaned in exasperation, throwing her head into the pillow, "God damn it, I agree with you." Seeing as now the room was spinning, she knew she would want to remember her time spent with Helena, and a drunk lover wouldn't make the best first impression.
Helena chuckled and moved to lay beside Myka, the two women turning to look at one another. Fingers absently tracing patterns on the exposed skin of the other, reveling in the feel of finally being this close to one another, after all the shit they had to go through to get here.
Myka smiled suddenly, a blush coloring her face in the loveliest of ways, "You said you loved me."
Helena smirked, "That I did. And I do love you, Myka Bering."
"Thank goodness for that, because I love you, Helena Wells." Tears of joy pricked at her eyes now.
The women fell asleep curled around one another, legs and fingers intertwined, foreheads nearly touching, the breath of each brushing over the face of the other. And it wasn't perfect, but it was real, which was far more important to Myka than anything else in the world.
AN: I'm just gonna leave this here and then go somewhere with no internet connection because endings make me nervous. This didn't turn out as I expected, but I am done with this story I think. I shall be back to write another, if a prompt catches my eye that is. Thank you so much for reading this. This isn't the story I wanted to read or write when I first saw this gif set, so if someone else wants to write a smutty fluffy funny story based off it, I'm sure the entire beringandwells ship would be more than okay with that