It's time for the long-awaited hot wing contest! (By the way, the hot wings are mouse hot wings)
I own Warriors as much as I own Earth, Saturn, Jupiter, and the Sun. (Which means I don't)
It took me a while to get enough votes to decide which cat should win.
Enjoy!
*
Spark: Aaaaaaaand we're back! These poor leaders have been eating for a LOOOONG time. I think it's time for them to stop.
The Four Fat Leaders: YAY! (burp)
Crowd: NOOOO!
Spark: (grins evilly) But I think they should keep eating!
The Four Fat Leaders: AWWW!
Crowd: MUAHAHAHA!
Fat Firestar: But we're getting fat from eating! (holds up a scale in protest)
Fat Blackstar: Super…hot…wings…so…hot…can…I…have…some…water (pants)
Tigerstar: (still riding the exercise bike that powers the Evil Fire of Hotness that makes the hot wings hot) You can NEVER have water!
Spark: As much as I hate to agree with the cat who killed Gorsepaw—
Crowd: (begins crying into handkerchiefs) Why?! WHY?! He was so young!
Spark: —I have to say you're right, Tigerstar. Blackstar, you cannot have water.
Tigerstar: SEE?
Spark: Shut up, Tigerstar. (hits Tigerstar on the head with a brick)
Fat Leopardstar: If I win, can I claim the island for RiverClan? (stuffs another hot wing into her mouth)
Fat Onestar: You're a she-cat, Leopardstar! She-cats are weak and never do anything!
Fat Firestar: Yeah! She-cats are stupid!
Fat Blackstar: Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Sandstorm: What did you say, Firestar? (angry she-cats begin to fan out from behind her)
Spark: Settle down, Sandstorm. You can kill Firestar, Onestar, and Blackstar later. (pulls out a schedule) Can I pencil you in for three-thirty p.m., two sunrises from now?
Angry Mob of She-cats: YAY!
Fat Firestar: I WILL WIN! (grabs the hot wing plate and shoves it in his mouth) OW! HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!
Fat Onestar: HAHAHA!
Fat Leopardstar: (signs up for the Angry Mob of She-cats Club)
Spark: (holds up a timer) ONE MORE MINUTE!
Fat Blackstar: NOOOOOO!
Crowd: (stares at him)
Blackstar: MOMMY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
Spark: Um….thirty more seconds….
Fat Firestar: (eats all the hot wings at his table)
Tigerstar: (hatches an evil plan)
Fat Leopardstar: (tries to eat her remaining twenty hot wings)
Fat Blackstar: (abandons his hot wings and starts dancing) OH! OH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BABY YOU GOT ME! OHOHOH!
Russetfur: (snaps a picture with her cell phone)
Rowanclaw: (stares at his leader with his mouth open)
Tawnypelt: I'm gonna go back to ThunderClan.
Fat Onestar: Can't…eat…any more… (faints on the ground)
Spark: FIVE!
Crowd: FOUR!
Spark: THREE!
Crowd: TWO!
Spark: ONNNNNE! Drop those hot wings and line up over here!
The Four Leaders: (drag their fat bodies along the ground to Spark)
Spark: (strolls over to the four Hot Wing Tables and inspects them with a magnifying glass) I see….
Fat Firestar: (crosses paws) Please StarClan…
Fat Leopardstar: PLEASE! For the She-cats!
Angry Mob of She-cats: YEAH!
Fat Onestar: Come on…I gotta win…
Spark: Um-hmm… (makes notes on a clipboard)
Fat Onestar: PLEASE! I need to show everyone that WindClan is the BEST!
Spark: (muttering softly) And two plus two equals four…
Fat Blackstar: (taps foot impatiently)
Tigerstar: (sighs)
Spark: (chews on the end of her pencil) Carry the nine…
Fat Firestar: ((texts Spottedleaf on his cell phone)
Spark: (snaps paws) Um…what does that make again? Eight…no, five…
Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!
Spark: (surprised) What? Was I taking too long?
Crowd: (slaps their faces with their paws) YES!
Spark: Heh…heh…
The Four Fat Leaders: (cross paws hopefully)
Spark: Okay…. Blackstar!
The Three Fat Leaders Besides Blackstar: AWW!
Fat Blackstar: YESSSSSS! (starts break dancing) IN YOUR FACE MOMMY!
Spark: Um, Blackstar?
Fat Blackstar: THANK YOU!!!!
Spark: Blackstar….?
Fat Blackstar: (pulls out a speech and clears his throat) I'd like to dedicate this victory to my dear mother, Shadowstar. May the light of StarClan shine on her forever—
Spark: (yells through a bullhorn) BLACKSTAR YOU DIDN'T WIN!
Fat Blackstar: (crestfallen) I didn't?
Tigerstar: NO! So SHADDAP!
Fat Blackstar: Ma—ma—ma—ma—
Tigerstar: (points his paw at a kitty bed that magically appeared) Go lay down.
Fat Blackstar: Aw man! (pads over to the bed with his tail between his legs)
Spark: The REAL winner is… (pulls out a microphone)
Crowd: (leans forward eagerly)
Spark: FIRESTAR!
Fat Firestar: (starts crying and dabs eyes with a handkerchief) This is the greatest day of my life! (wipes hot wing sauce of his mouth)
The Angry Mob of She-cats Including Leopardstar Now: Grrrr! (holds up torches and pitchforks)
Fat Firestar: BURRRRRP!! (licks lips) Tastes like hot wings.
Crowd: EWWWW!
Fat Onestar: My one chance to make WindClan great, and I blew it! (breaks down sobbing)
Spark: Blackstar had fourty-nine wings left out of his original two hundred…
ShadowClan: Great, we came in last place.
Spark: (adjusts microphone) Onestar left twenty-five wings on his plate out of two hundred…
WindClan: (sighs) WindClan will never be great…
Spark: (coughs) Leopardstar won the silver trophy and came in a VERY close second with the three hot wings she left…
Angry Mob of She-cats Club: (lift Leopardstar on their shoulders) LeopardSTAR! LeopardSTAR!
Spark: And Firestar is the WINNER! (confetti falls around everyone and the song "I've Got the Power" begins to play)
Tigerstar: And the time to carry out my evil plan has come! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Crowd: (looks at Tigerstar with frightened expressions)
Tigerstar: Just practicing my evil laugh?
Crowd: Ohhhhh.
Tigerstar: (sneaks up behind the dancing Firestar)
Fat Firestar: (kisses Spark)
Spark: (giggles)
Sandstorm: (calls a meeting of the Angry Mob of She-cats Club)
Tigerstar: (lights a match and sets Firestar on fire)
Fat Firestar: (doesn't notice anything and keeps dancing) Who let the Twolegs out? WHO! WHO WHO!
Every Cat In The Clans Except The Angry She-cats And Tigerstar: Uh…Firestar?
Fat Firestar: (bursts into flame) You get the limo out front… ooh—ooh—ohh… (now is a dancing flame)
Every Cat In The Clans Except The Angry She-cats And Tigerstar: FIRESTAR! YOU'RE ON FIRE!
Fat Firestar: Wha—? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!! (hops around trying to get the flame off him)
Tigerstar And The Angry She-cats: (dump a giant bucket of water of Firestar on Fire)
Fat Firestar: (who is now a blackened, sooty, smoking cat) WHO DID THAT?
Tigerstar: (whistles innocently)
Fat Firestar: (points an accusing paw at Onestar) You did it!
Tigerstar: (wipes sweat off his brow) Whew!
Fat Onestar: (turns around with a hot wing hanging out of his mouth) What?
Fat Firestar: What happened to the love we shared? (runs away crying)
Spark: Well….that wraps up another episode of The Random Factor!
______
Meanwhile, in a hidden cave far away…
______
Sandstorm: Okay, and…Leopardstar?
Leopardstar: Here!
Sandstorm: Good…Tawnypelt?
Tawnypelt: Present!
Sandstorm: Excellent…and last but not least… Minnowpaw?
Minnowpaw: I'm over here.
Sandstorm: (checks off names on a clipboard) Good. We're all here.
Heathertail: What's the plan?
Willowshine: Yeah! We need to teach those StarClann-forsaken toms a lesson!
The Other Angry She-cats: YEAH!
Sorreltail: Maybe we should smash them on the head with bricks!
Sandstorm: Hmm… I have a plan…
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What will Sandstorm's plan be? Find out in the next episode of The Random Factor!
Send in your application if you want to join the Angry She-cat Club!
Here's an example:
Name: Sparklepelt of RandomClan
Position: Warrior
Description: She-cat with red eyes and midnight-black fur that has magical sparkles
Reason For Joining Angry She-Cat Club: Because I want to destroy the stupid toms in the Clans
You can personalize your application. This is just a small example.
Review!
Remember to send in episode ideas and cats Spark can co-host with!