Chapter 10: Love and Desire

"It is bad, isn't it?"

Leandra Hawke sighed and looked at Daylen. She was likely the only one in their family who still looked upon him with love. He had made mistakes, horrible mistakes, but now…now…he was trying to make up for them. She understood what that was like, to be the pariah of the family; she had been one herself when she had eloped thirty years ago.

If anyone understood him, it was her.

It had been a long time since she had gotten the chance to visit him, for the longest time Solona had blocked every attempt, denied every request, but since his imprisonment, her brother had been a model prisoner, never offered the guards any problem. When he was needed to provide information he came downstairs without complaint, and returned just as quickly.

In short, he had proven that he was not actively trying to be a problem, and with the keep in the state it was in now.

It had problems enough already.

The young lord sat on his bed, while Leandra sat at his desk. The guards felt it better that she not get too close, just because he had tried nothing before this did not mean that he might not try something now. It was a delicate balance that he walked, a thin line between being a prisoner and simply being forbidden from leaving his room unsupervised.

So far, he had managed to walk it well…

…So far.

"It isn't good," Leandra admitted, "We have Templars in every corner of the keep now. They have patrols marching in and out, night and day. One of the Knight-Lieutenants has even moved into the guard captain's office, at least, until Aveline returns from her honeymoon.

Daylen frowned.

It was one thing for the Templars to offer their support, it was quite another to have a full garrison occupying the Viscount's keep. Such a thing had not happened in years, not since the fall of the Threnhold regime.

Father would never have tolerated such a thing, but at the same time, Father was no mage. He had never given the Templars any reason to doubt him, if he had…

The nobles would have never allowed him to assume the throne in the first place. Back then they had been strong enough to resist Knight-Commander Meredith's desires.

Under Solona, that was obviously no longer true.

Now…they were surrounded by Templars, and no one but the Viscountess was speaking up against it. According to Leandra, the court approved of the extra security, it made them feel safe.

The fallen lord shook his head.

It was only a matter of time until that changed.

Right now the Templars were not flexing their authority, they were letting business in the keep proceed as usual, but as soon as the Templars decided to start taking steps, the nobles would complain, but by then it would be too late, the Order would be too entrenched in the keep.

After that, there would be no getting them out, not without chantry intervention.

Which, in Daylen's mind, seemed unlikely, Meredith had the excuse and the power now.

It was unlikely that she would give it up.

"Has my sister gone to the Grand Cleric," he asked, "Surely she can do something about this?"

"Sebastian is meeting with her now, with luck she will rule on our side, but even if she does it is unlikely the Templar presence here will end anytime soon."

Leandra shook her head.

"There are too many Templars in the city now, the Gallows would not hold them all. Knight Commander Meredith requested reinforcements and she got them, she has enough Templars to not only hold the Gallows, but the keep as well."

Daylen's eyes narrowed.

He did not like the sound of this, any of it.

"How did the Knight-Commander manage that?"

"Apparently she sent word to the Lord Seeker directly. The Seekers have spoken with the Divine and convinced her of the need of having addition troops here. Between the attack on the Gallows and two assassination attempts on your sister, the chantry feels that tighter security is needed."

The woman shook her head.

"Most of the Templars here now are from Orlais, a few came from Starkhaven and Ostwick, but the bulk of them were handpicked for this duty. Men and women that the Knight-Commander assures us can keep the circle under control."

Right, Daylen thought.

But who will keep them under control?

"What about the First Enchanter," he added, "What does the circle have to say?"

"The Circle is currently under lockdown while the Knight-Commander roots out any conspirators the assassin might have had. The mages are confined to quarters until further notice."

Daylen nodded.

It seemed that the Knight-Commander had thought of everything, and now everything going her way. The circle fully under her heel, and now minders in the Keep to stop the nobles from raising any stink about it.

It was an impressive show of force, even during his darkest days he had not been able to manage so much, but with the Qunari out of the city, and the mages in lockdown.

Meredith now had everything she wanted.

The next move was Solona's, but it needed to be made cautiously, even a whisper of rebellion might be enough to set the Templars off…

Then where would they be?

They heard the sound of heavy footsteps and voices in the hallway. No doubt a Templar patrol questioning what was going on.

Daylen glared at the door.

He was surprised that Meredith had not requested that he be moved to the dungeon. That she had not tried to link him to all this madness. It would have further weakened his sister, having her authority so clearly questioned.

Of course, him being locked up here meant that she could blame something else on him later. It was something he would do, if he was in the Knight-Commander's shoes. For years she had sought away to erode House Amell's power, a goal she had worked harder towards since finding out that Solona was a mage.

If Meredith got anything on Solona, she would strike without mercy. House Amell would be torn down, root and stem. She had done it before, to the Threnholds.

He had no doubt that she would do it to the Amells.

Daylen rapped his fingers lightly on the mattress of his bed, thinking.

What he had done in the past, he regretted it. He had been out of control a spoiled child lashing out at those who loved him. He…they…

He shook his head.

There must be something that I can do?

There must be some way that I can help?

One thing had not changed, he loved his family, and wanted it to flourish, everything he had done in the past had been to secure that, at least that is what he told himself.

Leandra gave him a worried look.

"Are you all right dear?"

He sighed heavily.

No, he thought.

Not really.

He had told no one, but…since coming back to the keep, he…he had had nightmares every night. Strange nightmares that he did not understand, he saw himself in those dreams, standing over him, while Quill held him down. He felt the blade severing his hand, and Neria's blood magic washing over him.

Those dreams often woke him from a sound sleep. He awoke confused, often not remembering where he was for a few moments.

Sometimes, he did not even remember who he was.

Frightening dreams to be sure, and once he was awake, truly awake, that fog went away and he remembered everything, but there were times…times that he was afraid.

Afraid that the fog wouldn't pass, that he would wake up, and not remember who he was anymore.

That he…he…

He swallowed hard.

That he would wake up not knowing who he was anymore!

That he was really someone else.

He said none of this to Leandra; his dear cousin had enough on her plate right now.

No, he would survive this. He was an Amell after all.

Amells did not fear simple dreams.

"It is nothing," he said, "Just…I just had a rough night."

She nodded, and let it pass.

He looked down at his one hand, flexing the fingers, trying to think.

Once upon a time, he had had this entire city dancing to his tune.

Why could he not think of something that could help them now?

Leandra gave him that motherly smile of hers, one that she had no doubt used on her own children many times.

He was grateful for that smile.

It was nice to feel loved again, loved for the right reasons. Leandra wanted nothing from him, she never had.

She just wanted him to try and be happy.

He reached out and touched her hand.

He wished that was still possible, for her sake if nothing else.

He hated the fact that he had disappointed her.

"I'll try to think of something," he promised, "If I do, please bring it to my sister. She may be able to…"

"I will dear, I promise. I can…"

There was a loud knock on the door.

Daylen sighed heavily.

It seemed that there time was once again up.

Damn.

"I must be going, dear," she said turning towards the door, "But I promise I…I…ca…"

Leandra paused; her hand went to her head. She started to sway and…

"Oh."

She started to fall.

Daylen was on his feet in seconds. He caught her.

"Cousin," he gasped, "Cousin are you alright!?"

"Um…yes…I…oh…oh my."

He helped her to the bed; she sat there a moment shaking her head.

"I…oh…oh my, I felt so dizzy, I…"

The guards burst into the room.

"BACK AWAY DEATH'S HAND," their leader growled, two Templars also began to enter.

Daylen backed away quickly holding his arms in the air, but part of him seethed at their interruption. Leandra needed him, she…

"I'm fine," Leandra said shaking her head.

"Milady?" the guard said.

"I said I'm fine," she repeated, "I tripped, Daylen caught me, he did nothing I assure you, let him be."

She gave the guard a hard look.

"Please, let him be."

The guards relaxed but they did not take their eyes off him. Daylen could care less. He was worried about Leandra.

What in Andraste's name had just happened?

Leandra stood and smiled at him.

"I'm fine dear, really," she promised, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Daylen watched her go, he seemed calm, but his heart pounded in his chest.

What had just happened?

Was…was something wrong with Leandra?

Worry ate at him, making him hate this room, and Solona for forcing him to remain here. What he had done had not taken away what he felt for his family. He still cared damn it!

He glared at the door.

He knew Solona had her own problems, but family should still come first.

If she was neglecting her family.

It isn't her fault, his conscience reminded him. You remember what leading this city is like, and you did not have a garrison of Templars breathing down your neck.

Daylen sighed.

Yes, he did know, and that is what bothered him.

If something was wrong with Lady Leandra, it was yet another distraction, another log of wood on House Amell's funeral pyre.

He frowned.

Too many logs had been added to that fire lately. They likely could not afford many more.

One thing was for sure.

Something was definitely going on.

IOI

While Leandra visited with Daylen. Sebastian Vale, Lord Consort to the Viscountess met with Grand Cleric Elthina in the chantry, with so much going on, he had hoped that his old mentor would help him, that she would finally make a stand when it came to the virtual army of Templars that had now come to "defend" their great city.

Elthina listened, as she always had, but as always she preferred to stay out of such matters. The Divine herself had allowed Meredith to bring in reinforcements.

The Grand Cleric advised him to have faith. That with the Maker's aid, they would all be able to work through this.

It was with this advice in mind that the Lord Consort left the Chantry. He tried, tried to keep his temper in check, tried to remind himself that the Templars served the chantry for the good of all.

He shook his head.

Some days were easier than others, to keep that in mind.

Sebastian clenched his fists in impotent rage.

He feared that he had failed his wife, yet again.

It was not an easy thing, being married to such a powerful woman. He loved Solona, and he loved their children, but sometimes, just sometimes…

He felt like he was nothing. That no matter what he did, his wife would always do better.

That she…did not need his protection at all.

He had never been one of those men, one that had to save the damsel in distress. He liked strong women, he always had…

Then why did he feel so useless right now?

He had made many friends within chantry; he had thought that at least one of them would aid his family in convincing Meredith to remove these reinforcements. If the Grand Cleric had supported them, then the nobles would have rallied around them. Even Knight Commander Meredith would not be able to deny that much pressure.

Sebastian sighed heavily.

He had failed again, which meant that it was up to his wife to save them all…again.

The Lord Consort cursed under his breath.

How he hated that.

"Hello Sebastian."

He looked up and smiled.

"Lady Bethany," he said with a gallant bow, pushing back all his dark thoughts.

It did not matter how he felt right now, he needed to show strength. Even among his own family.

He needed to be strong.

…For them.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he said with a smile.

She laughed lightly.

"Actually, I was about to ask you the same thing. You look troubled, Milord."

She gave him a gentle smile.

"Is there anything that I can do?"

Sebastian shook his head, part of him wanted to tell her the truth. There had been a time when Bethany and his wife had been as thick as thieves. Though those days were gone, he still saw her as a valued member of this family.

Solona had told him what she had done in the Vimmarks, a horrible thing to be sure, but at the same time she had done it with the best of intentions, and since that time she had done nothing to harm either her family or the crown.

Sebastian believed in redemption, and the value of forgiveness.

Bethany Bradley was no less deserving of such mercy than he.

"I had hoped to convince the Grand Cleric to intervene on our behalf. I understand the need for protection, but a full garrison of Templars in the keep…"

He shook his head.

"It seems too extreme if you ask me."

Her smile widened slightly.

"Brave words," she said

"Perhaps," agreed, "But true words, someone needs to say them."

She lowered her head, she sniffled. Her hand went to her eyes.

He gave her a worried look.

"Milady?"

She sniffled again.

"Nothing…it…it is nothing," she cooed, "It, it is just that for a moment there, you sounded like my dear Perrin. I…I suppose I should not be surprised."

She wiped idly at her face.

"He considered you one of his best friends after all."

Sebastian winced.

Perrin Bradley had been a good friend, not just a peer, but a good man as well. When Sebastian's family had been slain, it was Perrin that had went with him, watched over him and kept him out of trouble.

His death was not just a blow to House Amell. It was a loss to all of Kirkwall.

"You honor me, Milady," he said.

"No," she said, "it is you that honor us all."

Her eyes shone.

"My sister is lucky to have someone like you in her life. Having you watch over her, protecting her."

Sebastian was not sure why, but Bethany's words prickled some of those dark emotions.

Did he protect his wife, or had he failed in even that?

He had not stopped Daylen or the Qunari.

How long would she need him at her side if she had to fight all these battles herself?

Again she gave him that shy smile, she blushed slightly.

It made him smile.

"I don't suppose you would consent to walking me home. My guard's wife was sick today, he had to rush off, and with so many Templars on the streets…"

She didn't need to say anything else; he understood her fear of the Templars.

The least he could do was help remove that fear.

"Of course," he agreed readily, "No young lady should be out alone on these streets."

Again she blushed.

"Thank you Sebastian…I…I mean Milord, I…I feel safer already."

The Lord Consort grinned and offered her his arm.

Giggling she took it.

He fell in step beside her as they walked back to the keep. He could not deny that it felt good to be needed, that this girl needed him to watch over her.

Of course, what else could he do? She was family.

You always watched over your family.

He led her up to the gates of the Bradley estate. She curtseyed to him, as he gave her yet another gallant bow.

It was strange, he no longer felt as down as he once did. Elthina's decision not to aid them did not seem as dire as it had been a few moments before.

It seemed that all he had needed was to perform a little Andrastian charity.

After that, even the darkest shadows did not seem so troubling.

He returned to the keep, with a little more spring in his step.

It had been a minor thing, helping Bethany, but…right now, it was just what he had needed.

He could return to the keep with his head high.

He and Solona would think of something.

They always had.

They had faced too many storms together.

This one… would not stop them.

IOI

Bethany watched as Sebastian left her door, as he made his way back to the keep.

All trace of shyness and fear had left her features, now she smiled a cold, cruel, predator's smile.

Great things often had small beginnings.

Emotions were such fragile things. Master Alex had taught her that. There were spells that filled a person with fear, doubt, or anger, but there were also spells that lifted a person up, that made them feel calm and at ease.

Though spells could be subtle, they did not need to be forced into a person's mind, and once they had first taken root, there is no telling where they might go.

Bethany's hands twisted into angry fists.

She had not lied when she said that Sebastian reminded her of Perrin. They had both been good men, cut from the same cloth. At least until Daylen had taken him away from her.

She had believed in her cousin, had wanted her to give Perrin justice, but instead she chose to coddle his murderer. The monster that had taken him from her, the monster that had left Bethany alone.

What did Lona know about such a loss? She still had her husband?

How could she understand what that loss had felt like?

Bethany smiled.

It would take time, and a bit of emotional prodding, but in the end, Cousin Lona would know her pain.

She would know it, quite intimately.

She would know what it was like to have someone twist the man she loved mind. She would get to see the results, and in the end.

Bethany Threnhold would be there to see it.

Doubt led to fear.

Fear could then lead to anger.

Anger could lead to temptation.

The Templars and mages would keep Lona distracted; just long enough for Bethany to complete her work.

Her eyes never left Sebastian as he disappeared into the crowd.

It would take time, but it would be worth it.

If she could not have Daylen's head, she would be satisfied with another prize.

"She doesn't deserve you," she said to no one and all.

She sighed deeply.

Her golden eyes shone with a predatory light.

"You're almost too perfect."

"I must have you."