W00t! I wish I could say I had a crazy little Tenth Parody Spectacular planned, but I'm a procrastinator, so I promise there will be something for the fifteenth song. But for now, content yourselves with a parody of The Tango Maureen from Rent!
Disclaimer: I don't own PotO, and I don't own Rent. Sadly. I ordered it off Netflix though (I rented Rent, hardyharhar…)
Oh yeah. And I'm changing some of the opening dialogue to fit it too XD
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Raoul: (Playing with a video camera) And so, into the abyss…the lair. Where a huge organ is being tuned…
Erik: (Turning knobs) A …B…(bangs keys) I dragged it all the way down here for this?!
Raoul: Close in on Raoul's nose dive…
Erik: B …
Raoul: …will I get out of here alive?
Erik: (Notices a presence) (growls) Fop?
Raoul: uh…hi?
Erik: I am going to kill you.
Raoul: (Cowers) Can I, er…lend an ear?
Erik: GET THE F-- OUT OF HERE!
Raoul: Great! Well, nice to have met you. (smacks forehead)
Wait!
The camera won't turn off…
Erik: (groans)
Press 'power',
Hasselhoff. (goes back to tuning)
Raoul: (Fiddles with camera)
Say something, anything.
Erik:
Go away, fop.
Raoul:
…anything but that.
Erik:
You're annoying
Raoul:
You're weird.
Erik:
Irritating
Raoul:
Freakin' crazy
Erik:
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Desperatly in love
That I always fall short of
And to top it all off
I'm with you.
(inward smirk)
(Asks Raoul)
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
Raoul:
As a matter of fact…
Erik:
Hey, fop, I know this act
It's called the Tango Christine
The Tango Christine
It's a frightening world of despair
And she keeps you dangling
Raoul:
You're wrong!
Erik:
You're heart she is mangling
Raoul: (Also trying to convince himself)
It's different with me!
Erik: (Whose ingenious plan is working)
And you toss and you turn
And unendingly yearn
And you return when she spurns, it's not fair,
Raoul:
I…think I know what you mean…
Both:
The Tango Christine!
Erik:
Has she ever widened her eyes and called you
"Angel"?
Raoul:
What?
Erik:
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
Raoul:
Once…in that motel
Erik: (Grits teeth, but continues with masterplan)
Raoul:
Did you bow down to her on the floor?
Erik: (sighs)
Yes, so be…cautious.
Raoul:
Did she moon over other boys?
Erik: (rolls eyes)
That's a dumb question-
Raoul:
I'm getting…nauseous!
(Erik begins to play the violin…you didn't really think I would force those two to tango, did you?!)
Raoul:
Where'd you learn to play?
Erik:
That's none of your concern, fop.
Raoul:
Can I try?
Erik:
No! (conks him on the head with violin)
(Tries to convince Raoul, who is swaying around with a concussion)
Guess what? She cheated.
Raoul:
She cheated??
Erik: (Grinning at his own genius)
Christine cheated.
Raoul:
I'm defeated!
I should give up right now
Erik:
Just go away young fop
Run and don't stop
Raoul:
I'd fall for her still anyhow…
Erik: (Persists)
When you're singing her song
Tell your sanity "so long"
You'll think only of her
all day long
Raoul:
But hey, might as well-
Erik:
Dance the tango to hell!
Raoul:
At least I'll have tangoed at all!
Both:
The Tango Christine
Gotta sing till your diva is through
Erik:
And though you desperately love her
And don't wanna leave her
But the end, it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Erik: (Under breath) He doesn't need to act for that…
Both:
Till you glum and you bum
Erik: (Imagining strangling Raoul)
And turn blue!
Raoul: What?
Erik: (ahem)
Why do we love when she's mean?
Raoul:
And she can make such a scene…
Erik:
Try the camera.
Raoul: (Puts camera in front of face and wails)
My Christine (the 'ine' echoes throughout the cavern)
Erik:
Press 'Power'.
Raoul:
(sniff) Thanks.
Erik: (smirk)
Y'know, I feel great now!
Raoul:
…I feel lousy…(runs off)
(TEN MINUTES LATER)
Christine: (sobs and runs in) Raoul dumped meeeee!
Erik: (smiles- his plan has worked)
Let's tango, Christine!
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Read, review, you know the drill XD