Anchor. Chapter 10
The night of the last full moon, Sirius' did not dream. Instead he remembered. His mind opened to things the twelve years of Dementors had oppressed.
"Well, look who decided to stop by." James smiled brightly, opening the door to him. Sirius grinned back at him and stepped into the warm house.
James had lost weight in the time he spent in his home, bound by the fideous charm. His jet black hair, always messy, was combed back as though done in a hurry. Even his clear hazel eyes seemed to have dulled.
"I wanted to see how little Harry is doing." Sirius said, shrugging off his traveling cloak. James led him from the living room into the kitchen, where Lily sat at the table. Harry was curled in her lap, fat fingers playing with her fire engine red hair.
She smiled at Sirius. "Hello, Padfoot. Long time no see."
Sirius reached down to hug her, "Been busy with the Order. I've been missing my godson."
Lily laughed and handed the chubby baby to him. Instantly, Harry opened his arms up to Sirius, an adorable smile on his face.
Sirius played with him for about ten minutes as the young parents watched, pleased with the relationship between their son and his godfather. Finally, Lily announced that it was time to bathe and put Harry to bed. Sirius kissed the baby on his forehead and put him back in his mothers arms.
"Would you like something to drink?" James asked.
"What do you have?"
"Pumpkin juice, butterbeer, or something strong if you prefer that."
"Strong as you have."
They poured themselves a glass of scotch and clinked their glasses. "What's the news?" James asked.
"Nothing different. Bodies are being discovered everywhere. But no end in sight."
James buried his face in his hands, groaning. "I'm afraid, Sirius. Truly afraid."
Sirius reached over and took James' hand, "Why, Prongs? You are safe here!"
"It doesn't matter! Voldemort wants Harry dead! He won't stop until he gets what he wants! My son is a little over a year old and he is already this close to death-"
"Enough!" Sirius interrupted sharply. "I will die before anything happens to you, Harry, or Lily! Dumbledore is on our side and he is the only one that Voldemort is afraid of. There is little he can do to Harry."
James shook his head, pushing his glasses back up his thin nose. "You already said it, bodies are showing up every where. He is doing quite a bit. And we all know that there is traitor in our midst, telling Voldemort everything we do."
"I've told you who the traitor is-"
"Why? You fail to give me a proper reason to justify why you believe Remus- our Moony- would betray me, my wife, and our son to the death."
Sirius leaned across the table, still holding James' hand in his. James was a relatively small man, standing much shorter then Sirius and Remus, so his hand was tiny in Sirius'. "Don't you see? He hoped for so much. Graduated top of our year. And as soon as he tries to start a life on his own, the ministry took it all from him with these anti-werewolf legislations. I truly believe he joined the Death Eaters as a spy in retaliation."
"Retaliation? Sirius, Remus is a good man. He has always been. Much better than you and I. He would never turn to the darkness."
James' voice was stern, marking the end of the discussion. Sirius took a deep gulp of his scotch.
"All in all, Prongs, I'll never leave you."
James smiled, "I know. That's why you are my best mate, my brother, and the godfather of my child. I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was getting late so James walked him to the door, holding it wider then he should, breathing the crisp October air.
"Do you think it will work?"
Sirius clasped his traveling cloak around his neck. "What?"
"Making Peter the secret keeper. It's been a week but I still prefer it be you."
Sirius nodded, "No one will suspect Peter. That way, if the Death Eaters kill me, you will still be safe in the house. But no one can know that we switched. Not even Dumbledore. We cannot risk Remus finding out and relaying the information to the Dark Lord."
He gave James a tight, brotherly hug.
"Be safe, Padfoot."
"I will. I promise."
It was just the next night that Sirius discovered Peter missing. He immediately thought of Remus, assuming the werewolf had learned of their secret and murdered the short, fat man. He rushed to James' house to warn him and made the most horrific find of his life.
The house was destroyed, Harry was crying in Hagrids arms, and James and Lily lay dead in the front lawn.
Sirius landed his motorcycle and collapsed to his knees before James' body. He was so small in death, his hair was astray, his skin was blue and cold, his glasses were missing, and his eyes stared blankly up at the night sky.
Sirius reached out slowly, hands trembling. He hoped with every fiber in his being that it was all about to disappear, that he would wake up in his bed.
But to his terror, his fingers touched James cold, hard skin. Without a moment hesitation, Sirius released a shriek of grief as he pulled James into his lap.
He wept for a few minutes until he remembered that this murder scene had a survivor. His damp eyes shot up to where Hagrid was still holding Harry, bent over in mourning. He carefully laid the corpse back on the grass beside his wife and crossed over to them.
Hagrid's black eyes landed on him. He was crying, too. "Oh, Sirius. I'm so sorry. I know what they were to you."
Sirius didn't respond. He wanted one thing. "Give Harry to me, Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'll look after him."
An argument ensued. Apparently Hagrid had orders to take Harry to Dumbledore. Sirius fought against him, needing Harry. He saw the strange lightening bolt shaped scar on the tiny forehead and sobbed. He was a piece of James and Lily, he couldn't let him go. Not when Remus was out in the night, searching for the boy.
But then a thought hit him. No, Peter was the secret keeper. It was a possibility that Remus had killed Peter and rushed here to finish his murder spree, but suddenly it seemed unlikely. All he could think of was Remus, the kind, gentle man he knew for ten years. The one who was respectful to anyone, male or female, young or old, Gryffindor or Slytherin. The one who trusted himself fully to his friends when the full moon left his so weak he couldn't even raise his head. Suddenly, the mere thought of Remus' betraying them seemed unlikely. He remembered how everyone looked at him like a mad man when he proposed the theory but now he saw himself through their eyes. Remus wasn't the traitor.
But Peter was.
Peter was the one who was always afraid to do anything unless he knew what was in it for him. Peter was the one who immediately sought out the three most intelligent, big, brave students to protect him.
Rage boiled within Sirius. He was angry at Peter for being a pathetic, unfaithful snake. He was angry at himself for losing trust in the most loyal, courageous man he knew and putting into one who couldn't even make himself go out at night unless someone was there to watch over him.
So he left. He gave Hagrid his bike, eyes now pouring tears of rage, and left. He didn't know where to go, where to begin his search, but he knew Peter must die.
During the night, he drifted in and out of known places that wizards gathered. He kept his face covered by a thick hood. He didn't want anyone to recognize him and warn Peter. Throughout the night, he heard whispers that Voldemort met his downfall as he attempted to take baby Harry's life. No one knew why but no one questioned it either. They celebrated and blessed the names of the fallen Potter family. Sirius didn't join in; he just slinked away in the darkness. This was no time for celebration. Yes, the most evil wizard to ever live was dead, but so were the only people he had left to call family. He thought of Remus was he trudged down the dark London streets; how could he possibly apologize to the werewolf? James had supported Remus financially since he was unable to apply for work due to the laws against his kind. Sirius decided then and there that he would buy the poor man whatever he needed. A flat, food, supplies. Remus would never want for anything.
It was morning when finally Sirius found Peter. The small, tiny man jumped at the sight of Sirius tall, powerful body. The large man was insane in his grief and anger, chest heaving and teeth grinding. Peter looked around the crowded street nervously before turning back to Sirius. He began to sob, shrieking.
"Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?"
Sirius, who was reaching for his wand to end the pathetic life before him, froze.
"What the fuck do you mean?"
They had the attention of all the muggles around them now. Everyone was focused on them, whispering, pointing.
And then, another horrid realization struck him. Only he, James, Lily, and Peter knew they had switched secret keepers. No one else. He would be accused and charged with this crime. And there was no evidence to prove otherwise. He was about to be convicted as a traitor.
But before he could think anymore, a bright light erupted from behind Peter's heavy body, followed by a massive blast that near deafened Sirius. It was all so fast. One moment, they were screaming at each other, next moment, Peter was gone and thirteen muggles lay dead around him inside the massive crater that had formed from the explosion.
He saw Peter's severed finger on the ground among the destruction and laughed. It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny at all. But he didn't know what else to do. He laughed at the irony of the situation. He laughed at his own foolish mistake. He laughed at the fate that he was about to face.
His laugh was different from the bark like one he developed after becoming an animagus. It was high pitched and hysterical. He kept on laughing until the aurors came and took him away.
Sirius shot up. His face was streamed with tears. It was so long since he let his mind recall the worse moments of his life. His heart felt like it was about to tear itself out of his chest, just to be free of the pain. At that moment, not for the first time, Sirius wished he was laying cold and dreamless beneath the ground with James and Lily.
Sleep is the cousin of death. The dream is kin to your last breath. Please review!