Reliability
By: Aviantei
10—Parking Lot II
Surrounded by its white companions, that single cloud is dark with rain
The breath hitched in Megumi's throat, her windpipe swelling from the pressure. Akashi had changed back into his school uniform, but his athlete's intensity hadn't faded in the slightest. Or maybe it was just his intensity overall, something Megumi had been ignoring while she scrambled to hold onto her position. The occasional sports club member drifted past, chatting with their friends, but an oppressive silence hung over the Boys Basketball Club's Captain and Assistant Manager.
"How did the game go?" Akashi asked, the barest amount of inflection available for it to count as a question and not an all-out demand.
Megumi's throat tightened further, but her mouth popped open to answer anyway. "We won."
"I don't need obvious statements, Megumi." Akashi's posture was straight, but his hard mismatched eyes conveyed every filament of disgust within them. Megumi had no doubt that she deserved it. "We do not achieve anything but victory. I'm asking for a report on the other details."
Megumi swallowed hard, fighting to keep from eye contact. It was easy when she didn't want to look anywhere near him. "What other details would those be?"
"Do you need everything spelled out for you?" Akashi adjusted his grip on his school bag, and Megumi clenched hard enough on her own that her fingers started to feel numb. "I need to know how the second string is handling itself to make sure everyone's member placement is accurate. I expect you were paying attention to such things?"
"I'm not sure it's my place to decide—" The moment the words started to leave her mouth, Megumi knew they were the wrong ones to say. She snapped her jaw shut so hard her teeth started to grind together. "Coach Shirogane and Higuchi-senpai say I'm doing fine for just starting. You don't have to worry about what I can do."
Akashi's scoff seemed to echo, even though they were in the open air. Megumi forced herself to look up at the sky, still stained orange. It wasn't blue, but it was good enough. "As Captain, your skill level is very much my concern," Akashi said. He stepped closer, and Megumi hunched in on herself. It was so very hard to feel small when you were still standing. "Just because you're in a lower position does not excuse you from putting in the work and effort required. I told you already that your circumstances don't exclude you."
He had. Megumi struggled to take even shallow breaths. Not even having the courage to speak, she nodded.
"Then next time you take on the position of a manager representing our school, I expect you to act like it." Akashi kept walking, passing Megumi without so much as looking at her. That was for the best, since Megumi felt like she would melt at the slightest acknowledgement. "No more slacking off, Megumi. Understood?"
His footsteps were sharp against the concrete. It wasn't until Akashi's presence had faded that Megumi managed to whisper, "Yes, Captain."
Megumi's personal afternoon of relaxation turned into several hours of curling up in her futon and trying to erase every ounce of stimulation that had built up over the school day. Any unexpected event or pattern served to upend her already fragile state of mind, and she'd almost cried in the middle of class because someone had dropped their book to the floor, causing a racket. Having Akashi sit in front of her, even if he ignored her presence, didn't help. The gray haze of rain clouds had taken over the view from her window. Megumi shut her eyes and willed the world to go away.
When she woke up from her impromptu nap, evening had fallen and a faint drizzle had started to patter against the window. Megumi fumbled around in the dark to turn on the lights, and whipped up a quick dinner of vegetable stir fry before settling in with her homework.
The world felt much more peaceful after a nap, even though it was more of a reflection of Megumi's calming nerves. They were still frayed at the edges, and she knew the slightest wrong move would just make everything feel awful again, but for the moment, she was safe, and that was what mattered.
Not willing to take any chances, Megumi kept to herself and tried to finish up her homework so she could get started on the next section of Higuchi's training regimen.
Choukou: Hey, Me-chan, you okay? ల(｀°Δ°)
Choukou: I know it's hard to answer messages sometimes, but I haven't heard from you at all since yesterday. （●´･△･｀）
Choukou: Are you tired out from your practice game? Track meets used to wear me out, too. ( ﹏⁰)｡
Choukou: But— ( ³⌓³)
Choukou: You didn't finish telling me about how things went. (꒪⌓꒪)
Choukou: I wanna knooooooooow. ヾ(｡﹏｡)ﾉﾞ
Kenta: Hope you're getting some good rest. If you're feeling up to hanging out again, we should make plans for this weekend.
Choukou: Hey, hey, Me-chan, can you send me a message please? (ⅈ▱ⅈ)
Choukou: Just so I know you're alright. ╏ ⁰ ⌂ ⁰ ╏
Megumi grimaced at the torrent of messages that assaulted her phone the moment it turned on after class on Thursday. She hadn't remembered to power it back on the day before, and it was watching the club members check their own before practice started that reminded her. She started to type out a quick message to Choukou en route to the locker room, but the thud of approaching footsteps stopped her.
"Good, I managed to catch you, Kaizuto-san." Higuchi jogged up to Megumi's side. She scanned the area for their captain, still fearing an additional reprimand. Akashi's words still stung at her, and it had been the fact that he would be absent for the first stringer's practice match that had bolstered her enough in returning to the next club meeting. "Do you have any questions about what you need to do today?"
Megumi ran over the mental layout she'd been given before. "I just need to do my usual duties and make sure everyone is focused on practice," she said. It was simple enough. "Coach Shirogane said after warm ups to have everyone split into self-run practice games. It should be fine." The idea of talking to so many people was still intimidating, but she had done well enough with the Second String on Tuesday she felt at least confident enough to handle that much.
Because that's all you can handle.
Higuchi gave Megumi a questioning gaze. She shook her head to dissolve his concern, but it didn't seem to work. It was bad enough that Akashi didn't have any confidence in her abilities, she didn't need Higuchi doing the same. "Alright," he said. "If things get out of control, don't be afraid to knock these idiots into shape. And well, if things get really bad, you still have my contact info right?" It had been tucked into the club learning regimen for her. Megumi waved her phone by means of confirmation. "Good. Now, are you free after practice? I still wanna go over the second string match you watched."
"I can do that." The fact that she hadn't been able to say anything to Akashi's demands still weighed on her mind, even if it wasn't right at the forefront. Higuchi gave her another long look, one that seemed to be digging up every little thing that Megumi didn't want him to see. "Thank you for your help, Senpai. But shouldn't you be making sure the First String is ready to go?"
"You're right." All too relieved that he'd dropped the subject, Megumi released a sigh. Higuchi rolled his shoulders and headed to the boy's locker room to finish getting ready. "I'll see you after practice, Kaizuto-san."
Megumi repeated the sentiments. And then she tried to prepare herself for the ten minutes she'd have to endure in Akashi's presence until the first string had departed.
"Alright, practice time is over!" Megumi called out to the last of the gymnasiums from the doorway. "Make sure all the equipment gets picked up properly. I'll be back to check if you guys need help soon." With that being said, Megumi shut the door and rested against the wall. Running between the two gyms to keep everyone taken care of on her own had been exhausting without a doubt.
Higuchi-senpai didn't look this worn out when we got back from our match. I mean, he has more experience at this than I do, but am I that out of shape? Cutting her train of thought short before she convinced herself that an exercise program would be in her best interests, Megumi pushed herself off the wall and headed back to the second stringers. Just look on the bright side. You made it through this with zero problems. Sure, we didn't hit the schedule by the minute, but we got everything taken care of that we needed to. That should be good enough.
The cleanup went without a hitch, and Megumi ticked off the last of Shirogane's checklist for her before heading back to change. There wasn't a doubt that she lingered in the locker room longer than necessary, but getting interrogated by Akashi again was the alternative. Megumi paced in circles around the lockers, trying to get a grip on her breathing before it went haywire.
She was just meeting with Higuchi for another club tutoring session. She could do it.
Sure enough, when Megumi emerged into the gymnasium again, the club had all left. The lights reflected off the perfect polish on the floor. Even without Shirogane's presence, not a single member had cut corners, though that was more from their club expectations than Megumi's leadership capacity. She was inclined to consider a lack of disaster a victory.
"Ah, there you are, Kaizuto." Contrary to her expectation, it was Shirogane who called out for her, though Higuchi was nearby. Megumi crossed over to meet them near the entrance. Shirogane's sharp eyes flicked across the room. "Everything seems to be in order. Did you have any issues today?"
"No, sir." Megumi tapped her toe against the floor, trying not to let her gaze wander too much. The presence of the club's commanding members made it seem like Akashi would spring out from beneath the floor at any moment. Higuchi took note of her unfocused attention, that same reading expression on his face as before. Megumi straightened up and craned her neck to look Shirogane in the eye. "How was the first string's game?"
She knew better than to ask if they had won. With Akashi present, that much was a given.
"Everything went as well as expected. They've been trying out some new strategies, so I let them have at it." Shock slipped through Megumi's veins at the level of autonomy the first string had; there had been no shortage of Shirogane's guidance during Tuesday's game. "It's not quite a style ready to be used in a tournament yet, but it will get there."
Higuchi let out a sound that wasn't harsh enough to be a snort, but it couldn't be passed off as much else. "Sorry. I've just never seen such a ridiculous idea in my life."
Shirogane's lips stretched just enough to form a smile. "Be that as it may, I won't object if they can make it work at the level needed." Megumi watched on in curiosity, not finding the right opportunity to insert herself in the conversation. "It's not something that can be described without seeing it. I'll be sure to give you an opportunity soon, though."
"A-ah, thank you very much," Megumi said, ducking her head in a bow.
"Until then, as long as everything's clear here, there's no sense in me wasting your time. I understand you two are working out more lessons together?" Both managers nodded. "Then I'll leave you to it. We'll start out Saturday with another group meeting, so be prepared."
With farewells exchanged, Shirogane departed to his office. Megumi took a few more calming breaths, reassuring herself that things were okay. The encounter itself hadn't been stressful, but the dark press of anxiety was still wrapped around her heart, not yet faded. Higuchi's usual serious expression melded into awkwardness.
"So," he said after a moment, "I take it you'd rather not have the lesson here? School will be closing up soon, so we can go get something to eat if you like."
Megumi jumped at the suggestion, but she knew it was the best option available to them. And the farther away from the school, the less of a chance there was of running into Akashi on accident. "Thank you, Higuchi-senpai. I'd like that."
They found a fast food restaurant that wasn't too far from the station and settled down there. Despite Megumi's insistences otherwise, Higuchi out stubborned her and paid the bill. Already feeling indebted enough, Megumi resolved to do something to return the favor.
She tended to avoid eating in public, since crowds could be overwhelming, but the place Higuchi had settled on wasn't too busy. They claimed a larger table along the back booths, and Megumi kept her back to the wall. Partway through their meal, Higuchi started up his basketball trivia quiz again, and Megumi's mind scrambled to keep up.
"Well, better than last time at the very least," Higuchi said, and Megumi grimaced as she tried to return to her fries. Better wasn't good enough, not by Akashi's standards, and not for her. "Listen, you're doing well for never dealing with basketball before."
"That's not what you said before, Senpai," Megumi said. It was Higuchi's turn to grimace. He toyed with his soda cup. "You and everyone else has told me that I need to get my act together to be good enough for all of you. Going soft on me isn't going to fix anything." She couldn't afford to be given lenience. Not if Akashi wasn't going to budge in the slightest.
Higuchi scratched at the back of his neck, showing no interest in his food. "That's not…" Megumi wondered if he'd have the guts to try and tell her otherwise. It wasn't a position she was unused to. "Kaizuto, I'm not pitying you or anything. I'm just trying to make sure you're ready to do what you need to do and, well, sorry for prying, but Coach told me about why you were allowed on the team."
Megumi squished the fry she'd been holding between her fingers. It wasn't hot enough to hurt, but salt and potato splatted back onto her tray. She had expected Shirogane to know—he hadn't said as much, but Yamada-sensei must've told him—but having that information in another student's hands felt much worse. If it weren't for the table in her way, plus her already spread out work materials, Megumi would have bolted already.
Instead, she gripped onto the rubbery booth cushion in an attempt to anchor herself. "I appreciate your honesty, Senpai, but you couldn't have chosen a worse time to tell me." Every streak of panic begged her to give up on the whole damn week and go back home, but Megumi fought it down the best she could. She even forced a smile onto her face. "If you know there's no point in hiding it, but I assume you really don't understand how this works."
"I did some basic research but that was about it," Higuchi said. At last, he unwrapped his burger. Megumi had lost most of her appetite in the usual swirl of nausea. "You're part of the team, too, Kaizuto-san. I'd like to at least be able to help."
Help was such a foreign idea to Megumi that he might as well have said it in a different language. But she knew that having a supportive ally was rare. She'd been lucky enough with Choukou and Kenta, but they had experience.
Isn't it kinda pathetic reaching out for help like this?
Don't tell anyone—
A sob caught in Megumi's throat before she even realized she was crying. "Shit," Higuchi said, dropping his burger and moving to stand. "Shit, Kazuto—"
"Stop it."
Megumi hated every second of her voice as it cracked out. She hunched over, slapping her hands over her ears. The sounds of the restaurant's background music and the door chime were muted, but what came through was still loud, far too loud. She pushed to suppress the sound of her crying but couldn't escape the racket her own body was making.
"If you know, don't push me." Even the whispers took more effort than she would've liked. "I…I know I don't show it, but sometimes—" she sucked in another breath, trying to stop before she went too far "—sometimes I just can't do anymore, like after something bad happens, and if you push me I just break and I want everything to go away, so just don't, don't, don't, Senpai."
She hated it when things go bad enough that she couldn't even run away.
Higuchi did her the favor of sitting back down. It was good, because if he'd touched her, even in comfort, she would've screamed. The near empty restaurant kept away any major attention, but that wouldn't last much longer when the commute started to pick up. How much time did she have to pull herself together? Would she even be able to make it home?
"Kaizuto," Higuchi tried, and she flinched at his kind tone, "when you say something bad, do you mean something happened with Akashi?"
He'd hit the nail on the head, which was to be expected. Higuchi was a Rakuzan student through and through. But admitting it—admitting that she'd been discouraged by such a small thing felt like a step backwards. Megumi had worked so hard to feel somewhat comfortable, and she'd let a few honest words take that away. Before she could think of a proper lie to tell, a shadow fell over the table, and both basketball managers jumped at the presence.
Choukou stood above them, a glare replacing her usual smile. The target of her ire was none other than Higuhchi. "What the hell did you do to Me-chan?"
[Author's Notes]
I feel like writing Higuchi is a constant exercise in "I feel like I'm missing something about who this character is." Even so, I'm putting my own interpretation on him, so hopefully you guys don't mind. And hey, you guys finally got some actual Megumi and Akashi interaction this chapter. Hm, wait, you mean that wasn't what you meant?
Much thanks to miss-fiora, AreYouHumanToo (Guest), SjelThief, and Annesia (Guest) for the favorite, follow, and review for the last chapter! I'm glad that this story is proving enjoyable for everyone to read. Considering I've snuck a lot of hints into this story about where it's going up to know, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what everyone thinks so far. Especially since we've hit chapter ten!
I've written a lot of fics, but there's always something exciting about hitting the double digits, y'know? If this were a [SOSS] project it'd be the end right now, but never fret! There's still a lot of this story to go. While I know the events, I'm not as sure how many chapters it'll be, so I hope you're all satisfied with being in it for the long run!
Next week, Choukou is on the scene! Please look forward to it!
-Avi
[06.18.2018]