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Chapter 10 "BreakDown"
Dean finally found his way back to the motel later in the night. Instead of going inside, he let himself slide down the doorframe of their room and leaned against the door. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. To be truthful, he always somehow knew that this was how it was going to end. One of them would die. It was inevitable with the life they led.
"Why did this have to happen to us? Any of this?" he whispered bitterly.
"It's fate, Dean."
Dean's heart stopped and he shot up, ready for a fight. But there was no need. It was only Castiel. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground, looking up at Dean with sympathy in his eyes.
Dean studied him for a moment before taking the spot besides him. Cas reached out, running a hand gently over Dean's cheek, and the hunter made to move away.
"Nobody's watching, Dean. Relax." Castiel said softly, and continued to stroke Dean's cheek.
He shimmied closer to the angel, and Cas put an arm around him, holding him tightly.
"What am I gonna do without him, Cas?" Dean said, his voice broken.
"The same thing that you would do with him, Dean. Save people."
"How can I save people when I couldn't even save my own brother?" a lone tear trickled down Dean's cheek, and he bit his lip hard, struggling to prevent any more from escaping.
Cas kissed the tear away before moving his lips to Dean's, kissing him lovingly. "It is Sam's choice. It is something he needs to do."
Dean's attempts at a dam for his tears broke; he was crying in earnest now. "I'll find a way to bring him back, Cas. I swear on my life."
Pain filled the angel's heart to see Dean so upset. He pulled Dean into a hug, Dean pressing his face into Cas' shoulder, hiding from the world.
"It will be ok, Dean." Cas kissed the top of the hunter's head as he felt his coat growing damp from tears.
"No. It will never be ok without Sam." Dean mumbled. "He's my brother, and he's gonna be stuck in that damn pit with friggin Lucifer. In what world is that ok?"
"I'm sorry, Dean. I wish there was another way, but you heard what Death said. Think of what would happen if Lucifer was allowed to bring forth the Apocalypse." Cas said softly.
"I know." Dean pulled away abruptly from the angel, as though regretting his momentary weakness. "That doesn't mean that I have to like it."
Dean stood up, stretching, and Cas looked a bit sad to have Dean leave his arms. Nevertheless he stood as well, keeping his distance from Dean. He knew the hunter didn't want comfort right now; he wanted to stew in his painful thoughts.
"Did you discuss how this will go down?" Dean asked, his hand on the motel door knob. His back was toward Cas, and the angel knew he was trying not to break down again.
"Yes. Everything is planned. We just to find a demon and drain it of it's blood for Sam to drink before we find Lucifer."
Dean visibly shuddered; not at the mention of Lucifer but at the thought of Sam downing gallons of blood. A warm hand on his back made the shudders stop, and the soft whispers from Cas in his ear brought back some feeling to his numb limbs.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Dean. Don't think about it too much and...if you...if you need me, just call. I'll be here if you need me."
Dean turned to face the angel but he had already gone, although his whispers replayed in Dean's head.
