Chapter 10 – Balmy Conditions

"Ana, I'm heading out to the office." It's early Monday morning and Christian is standing, leaning over his sleeping wife. He is dressed in preparation to conquer his world, donning a custom-fitted Tom Ford gray suit and Ana's favorite gray tie. "Hmm, you smell good. You always smell so good," Ana moans, forcing her eyes open to catch a glimpse of the fetching sight hovering over her. Christian flashes a boyish grin, lowers down and connects with Ana for a tender parting kiss.

"I'll see you tonight," Christian whispers.

"Okay. I love you," murmurs Ana.

"I love you more," Christian smiles before turning his heals to exit the room.

Ana snoozes for thirty minutes when she is awaken by a whimpering Ted over the monitor. "What's the matter, Teddy Bear?" Ana coos once reaching the nursery. "Let's get you changed and fed, big boy."

Afterwards, Ana sits in her study with Ted on her lap as he's grasping his own bottle of milk mixed with rice cereal. She checks her email and shoots out a couple of quick replies. It's a fairly slow morning at the offices of Grey Publishing, apparently.

Christian already approved Ana's proposal last Thursday and had his legal and analytics teams up and running on the Bryan Ashford project as early as last Tuesday. The lawyers are confident that they can in fact release Ashford from his current publishing deal. Ana now awaits the contract draft from GP to share with Bryan and Martha, which she hopes to have in just a couple of days.

So now, Ana plays the waiting game. Everything else is running smoothly. However, Ana can't shake that there is something else that she is forgetting to do. 'Oh, the manuscript,' Ana winces. There's nothing stopping her from starting on the unpublished book that she has been dreading to read. Reluctantly, she reaches inside of her desk drawer and pulls out the manuscript, placing it on top of the desk. She stares nervously at the cover as if the boogieman's going to jump out of the pages. "Oh Teddy, why does this book have to be about a lady that has a lot in common with your birth grandmother?" Ana laments to the infant who is preoccupied with his bottle. Ana squeezes off the large black binder clip, removes the cover page from the top of the stack, and starts to read.

In between playing with Ted and taking the occasional phone call from work, Ana familiarizes herself with the main character of Bryan's book, William Conners. Living in Nevada, he works as a self-employed network security specialist who is a lead expert in online fraud detection. He mainly works with the banking industry and makes a pretty good living taking home a six-figure salary. Even though he is single and makes sufficient money, William lives frugally and practically eats the same thing every day. He goes to the park frequently with his trusted companion Dixie, his chocolate Labrador retriever. William comes from an all American tightknit family. He spends Sunday morning's drinking coffee with his mother who lives thirty minutes away. His father passed away a couple of years ago.

Ana is taken by William and can relate to him on a certain level. He is a loner and has a passion for his work. He loves his family and is extra careful who he allows into his world. Ana appreciates how Bryan paints his main character on the figurative canvas, using adjectives and metaphors in ways that makes you feel as if you know the main character in real life. All while Ana is reading and consumed by the story, there is still a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that William will eventually fall in love with a drug addicted prostitute. That aside, Ana is still taken with the story so far.

Ana takes a break from the manuscript and plays with Ted in his toy room. For lunch, Mrs. Taylor prepares grilled cheese and tomato soup for Ana and purees freshly steamed carrots for Ted. Ana is used to receiving an email from Christian sometime before noon, but so far, nothing. 'He did leave pretty early this morning, so that must mean there's a hot project going on,' Ana reflects.

After lunch, Ana works some more in her study while Gail takes over on Ted duty. Ana checks in with Hannah, calls Roach to let him know how well legal is getting along in dismembering Ashford's current contract, and touches base with Kay Bestie on active projects.

Around three o'clock, Gail buzzes in on Ana's intercom, which is a feature on her desk phone.

"Ana?"

"Yes, Gail?" Ana answers.
"Teddy is napping right now, by the way. I was wondering…are you and Mr. Grey okay with grilled salmon and rice pilaf for supper?"

"That sounds good, Gail. I'll make the executive decision and say that Mr. Grey will be fine with that as well," Ana smiles.

"Alright then," Mrs. Taylor responds in a tender, motherly tone.

"Thank you, Gail!"
"My pleasure, Ana."

Ana reaches a good stopping point in her GP duties, so she decides to resume her reading of Ashford's manuscript. Just like her experience with reading other Bryan Ashford books, Ana is enamored with the material. She eventually looks up at the clock and realizes that it is now 5:30. "Where has the time gone?" Ana sighs aloud in the quiet room. Sade's 'Your Love Is King' sounds off on her mobile phone. It's the infamous ring tone that's designated specifically for her husband.

"Hi!" Ana cheerfully answers.
"Hi baby. I got bad news," Christian starts. Ana's heart skips a beat, dreading something serious.

"I'm okay," he starts, knowing instantly that this is the first line of Ana's concern. "I'm still at the office. I just stepped out of a big meeting to call you real fast. Lots of crazy shit going on. We're putting out tons of fires in the organization. I'm not sure what time I'll be home tonight," Christian informs, almost sounding helpless.

"Is everything okay? Anything I can help out with?" Ana offers.

"No baby. It's all shipping related stuff. We are finally starting to see the aftereffects of the 2008 financial crisis. Greece is in trouble, and we have some stake in there as well. So now, we are doing damage control and recovery planning. I'm afraid it's going to affect our bottom line. My goal is not to lay anyone off, but we may have to cut back employee work hours and salary for a period of time in order to recover some of the losses." Ana's heart drops at the news. "Christian…wow. I'm sorry to hear that. Do what you need to do and we'll see you whenever you get home," Ana responds in compassion.

"Alright, see you whenever I get home. Kiss Ted for me," Christian murmurs in a melancholy tone.

"Will do. I love you."

"Love you too," Christian responds before disconnecting the call.

Ana feels helpless. She wishes that there was something she could do to take away her husband's pain. Ana knows that at this moment, Christian does not feel like he's the master of his universe. If anything frustrates him the most, it's the feeling of not being in control. The environment is now dictating to Christian what he should do versus him dictating to the environment what it should do for him. 'Well, he's had practice with me. I'm unpredictable and he was able to reel me in,' reflects Ana. 'He'll do absolutely fine and all will be well at GEH,' Ana reassures herself.

Ana leaves her study to feed Ted his dinner. She also lets Gail know that Mr. Grey will probably be home very late tonight and to put his dinner away for him to warm up later. After dinner, Ana plays with Ted on his play mat for a while before giving him his bath. In the nursery, Ana reads 'Green Eggs and Ham' to Ted before he eventually conks out. Ted's journey to sleep tonight wasn't as seamless as nights prior. Even baby Ted notices that something has gone awry. Daddy normally reads to him during bedtime, while Mommy covers the occasional midday reading.

After putting the baby to bed, Ana decides to make tea and continue reading the manuscript in order to pass the time. She's interested in finding out Christian's progress on the crisis plan at GEH. Ana now sits at the breakfast bar with the manuscript in one hand and her favorite tea in the other.

After a while, Mrs. Taylor enters, completing one final pass of the kitchen before retiring to her living quarters above the garage.

"Hi Gail. Is Taylor home yet?"

"No Ana. He's still with Mr. Grey."

"What time is it now?"

"It's close to eleven o'clock."

Ana is startled at the realization of how late it is and Christian is still not home.

"Has Taylor checked in with you?"

"He's sitting in on meetings with Mr. Grey, so he probably hasn't had a chance to break away to let me know when they'll be heading home."

"If you want, I can call Mr. Grey and check…for the both of us. We both want our husbands home," Ana smiles.

"Sure," Gail beams, subtly.

Ana reaches for her iPhone in the pocket of her lounging pants, goes into her 'Favorite Contacts', and selects 'Husband' to dial Christian. The phone rings twice before going directly to voicemail.

"Well then," Ana frowns. "He sent me straight to voicemail."

"I'm sure whatever it is, it's important. He'll call you back," Gail reassures. Ana nods, but Gail's kind words do nothing to relieve the unexplainable feeling of rejection residing in the pit of her stomach.

Ana decides to stop her reading for the night and go to bed. Snug inside of the duvet and matching sheets, she is far from sleepy. She is too worried about Christian to fall asleep. He has never stayed in the office this late and not call. Ana tries to coach herself into being the supportive wife. She knows how critical of a time this is for GEH and how the situation may ultimately impact over forty thousand of its employees. She is fearful for Christian's state of mind and feels helpless that there is nothing she can do to alleviate his pain. 'If he were here right now, I would make love him. That always seems to help recharge him. Who am I kidding…it helps me too,' Ana reflects.

Looking at the clock, it's just past 12:15. A knot forms in Ana's stomach. 'I hope he's en route, at least. We're still over an hour drive from the office during off-peak time.'

Just after 12:30, Christian finally calls.

"Hello," Ana murmurs in fatigue.

"Baby, did I wake you?" Christian softly asks.

"No. Are you almost home?"

"Unfortunately, I won't be able to come home tonight," Christian says, nervously.

"What?" Ana says as she sits erect. The color drains from her face.

"Because of the urgency of the situation, a majority of the management team plan on spending the night here to continue working on the strategy plan. I don't think that it's fair for me as CEO not to treat this matter as critical as they are."

"Um," is all Ana can say. She is stunned by the news.

"Please understand how important this is."

"I know, I know," Ana sulks.

"I'm so sorry. I have to see this through. I don't know how long we'll be at this," Christian says with regret.

"Okay," Ana pouts.

"Baby…please. I need your support on this. You have to hold down the fort at home for me. Ted needs you. I need you," Christian says, pouring out his heart to her.

Ana now realizes exactly where she is needed. Christian needs to harness his energy solely on work right now and not have to worry about affairs on the home front. Ana is prepared to step up and be the rock that Christian needs her to be while he channels his efforts into resolving the crisis at GEH.

"I'll work from home all this week. Don't worry about us. Just promise that you'll call me if you need anything at all," Ana says, fighting the knot of emotion in her throat.

"I promise, baby," he murmurs.

"Don't overdo it, Christian. Make sure you take breaks if you need to. You won't be good for anyone if you don't take care of yourself," Ana lectures.

"I know. I'll nap at Escala if I need to. I also have the huge sofa in my office and a change of clothes. I'm sending Taylor home now. He'll meet up with me later in the afternoon."

"Good. I'll have him bring you your dinner from last night," Ana smiles.

"Very good," he smiles back.

Ana sighs, "You sound stressed. I wish you were here. I'd give you your medicine and make it all better."
"Oh?" Christian perks up.

"Yes," Ana responds, bashfully.

"Well, I'll still need it whenever I get back home to you."

"Deal," Ana says softly.

"I love you, Mrs. Grey," Christian coos.

"I love you more, Christian."

It's Wednesday morning, the start of the third straight day that Ana has worked from home. Ana is functioning as if she's on autopilot. Something just doesn't seem right in the atmosphere for her. It's mainly due to Christian being knee deep in crisis resolution at GEH for the past couple of days.

Ana has not seen Christian face to face since early Monday morning before he left for work. He remained at the office for 28 hours straight, eventually stopping by the penthouse at Escala yesterday afternoon for three hours to rest, shower and change. Christian also apparently stopped by the big house for a short time in the wee hours of the morning, but Ana was not awake to see him there. If it weren't for Mrs. Taylor telling her so, she wouldn't have known otherwise.

Ana hates to be the nagging wife, but she misses Christian dearly. They have never been apart for this long as husband and wife. While Ted's enjoying Disney Playhouse in his bouncy chair in the study, Ana decides to drop Christian a note.

From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Missing You
Date: January 30, 2013 9:47
To: Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey,

A little birdie told me that you stopped by the house after 3:00 am. I wish you would've woken me up.

Anastasia Grey
CEO, Grey Publishing

In consideration of the current circumstances at GEH, Ana did not expect an immediate response. However, she got one.

From: Christian Grey
Subject: Missing You
Date: January 30, 2013 9:50
To: Anastasia Grey

Dear Mrs. G,

You needed your rest so I wasn't going to wake you. I did get to watch you sleep for a few minutes, which is one of my favorite things to do. I will call you in a few hours.

Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Missing You
Date: January 30, 2013 9:53
To: Christian Grey

Dear Mr. Grey,

Now, how fair is it that you got to see me, but I haven't seen you? Looking forward to your call.

Anastasia Grey
CEO, Grey Publishing

Ana didn't say all that she truly wanted to say in her last email. She is trying her hardest not to be the nagging, unsupportive wife. However, Ana is not used to the feelings that have overtaken her for the past couple of days. Helplessness and loneliness are not two words that would have been in her vocabulary prior to the crisis at GEH. Even when Christian has to travel for work, he and Ana are in constant communication. Therefore, this is a very different experience for Ana. One that she doesn't believe she can endure for an extended period of time.

Ana does not receive an immediate response to her last email. She decides to continue reading Bryan Ashford's manuscript. If anything has been a welcomed distraction from not seeing or hearing from Christian, it's been Ted and The Balm That Restores.

Ana has made major headway in her reading. She is now three quarters of the way through and now knows the major female character and love interest, Amanda Foster. Amanda has had a rough life and has not experienced true, unconditional love. William Conners' goal is to show her what that is.

She's not even through reading the book and Ana knows that it is a bonafide hit. Ana has made no notes on the manuscript. 'It's perfect,' she reflects. At this rate, she may be done reading it tonight. However, her hope is to not be done because that would mean that Christian's coming home tonight and at a decent hour.

It's almost time for Ted to have lunch. "Ana, let me feed Ted today for you. I have corned beef on rye and potato soup all set for you in the kitchen. You go ahead and enjoy your lunch and do what you need to do in here," Mrs. Taylor says after entering Ana's study.

"Thank you so much, Gail," Ana sighs.

"Ana, I know it has been a rough couple of days. You're doing great. Just hang in there. I'm here if you need anything at all," Gail reassures. Ana gives a polite nod, but Mrs. Taylor's kind words do nothing to make her feel better. She misses Christian.

Just as Ana returns to her desk in the study with her soup and sandwich, her iPhone rings with Christian's signature ringtone.

"Hello," Ana answers.
"Mrs. Grey," Christian says in a stuffy, professional tone.
"How is everything?" Ana murmurs.
"Well, we have a plan in place. It's going to take a major sacrifice from everyone," Christian starts.
'Uh oh. What does that mean?' Ana fears to herself.

"As I said before, I don't want to lay anyone off. With this plan, I won't have to. The down side is that the vast majority of our employees will have to take a ten percent pay cut. We estimate that the cuts will be active anywhere from three months to a year, depending on the severity of the crisis. In order to balance it out, we are implementing a 'furlough Friday' every two weeks. So, all employees will work nine straight business days at a time and then enjoy a three-day weekend. I'm hoping this will help soften the blow. I am also waving my salary for the duration of the plan until we are in the clear."

"Wow Christian. That's very honorable of you," Ana says, astounded.
"I don't need the extra money. There are families that work for me that need it way more than I do. Besides, I can just live off my wife for the time being," Christian laughs.
"Yes…yes you can," Ana giggles.

"Now for the tough part. We just sent a communication out to all of our global employees letting them know that an announcement is coming. Me, Ros and other members of my management team will be conducting a series of town hall meetings to communicate the plan and to address any questions and concerns that the employees may have." Christian speaks to Ana in full businessman mode. For a moment, Ana forgets that she's talking to her dear husband.

"That's good that you are giving them a forum to address their questions," Ana says.
"I think that's very important. Hearing answers right from management's mouth will make our employees feel valuable. It's because they are," Christian says, heartfelt.
"So," he continues. "We will be conducting town halls starting tomorrow. The first ones will be here. Then, we have to cover New York, Boston, San Francisco and some of the other locations next week. I will be attending the New York and San Francisco meetings. That means I will be traveling all next week."

Ana's heart drops to the pit of her stomach. "Do…do you need me and Ted to come with you next week?" Ana murmurs. Christian pauses before answering. "Baby, I honestly thought about it. However, I don't think it's right to bring my family along for this. This decision that I am handing down will in essence impact families. I don't want my management team or any of my employees thinking, 'Look at Grey, he brought his family here. Where's our support?' I also don't want you and Ted to be surrounded by all of the madness. The media will be involved. It's going to be a stressful time. I want you two at home and ready to embrace me when I get back. Okay?"

Ana sits silent. Tears queue up in her ducts. The word 'helplessness' creeps back up in her psyche.
"Ana? Baby?"
"I'm here. Just trying to process everything you just said," Ana murmurs. Christian inhales deeply.

"So, when am I going to see you," Ana finally asks. Now, Christian is silent.
"Hello?!" Ana snaps.
"Well, we are putting the finishing touches on the plan right now. So I figure we have one last all-nighter tonight before we kick off our first town hall at GEH tomorrow.
Ana sighs, "Christian, I know you need me to be strong. I can be strong for you. But I still need you. I need to see you. I've never gone this long without seeing you." Ana begins to weep.

"Ana, please don't. Not right now," Christian says, almost cross.
"What do you mean?" Ana sobs. She is puzzled that Christian would be irritated by her reaction.

"I can't deal with this right now, Ana. I just can't. It's a little too much for me. I told you that I needed you to be strong. If not for me, then be strong for Ted. Okay?" Christian says, bordering on distant. Tears continue to make their way down Ana's face.

"It's killing me too not to be with you and Ted. Honestly it is," he says with a cracked voice. Now Ana knows that Christian must put on a façade too. He has to be the unshakable one for the forty thousand. He cannot show kinks in his armor. Likewise, Ana must muster up the strength and show the same resolve. She has to be strong for her two, Christian and for Ted.

"Christian, I'm sorry for being so selfish. I just miss you so much. I am willing to lend my husband to the good people of Grey Enterprises Holdings for a short period of time. Just get back home to me soon, okay?" Ana says, finally pulling herself together.

"Thank you, baby. And I promise, after next week, I'll be home every night," Christian reassures.
"We'll see you this weekend, right?" Ana checks to be sure.
"Of course, baby," Christian sighs. "I fly to San Francisco on Monday morning and then to New York on Tuesday night. We should have the plan wrapped up late tonight, so there's no additional leg work required on management's end after that. That gives everyone the chance to rest up over the weekend before resuming another busy week filled with town halls."
"Alright. Well thank you, Mr. Grey for the update. And feel free to call or drop me a note whenever you have a moment to spare, okay?" Ana smiles.

"Okay, Mrs. Grey. I love you so very much. And thank you for holding down the fort at home."
"You're welcome. I love you more, Mr. Grey."

Ana hangs up from the call feeling like she just got ran over by a freight train. 'I've got to hold it together, I've got to hold it together,' is the mantra that Ana repeats internally, over and over again. Each time a tear tries to surface, 'I've got to hold it together…for Ted…for Christian,' is repeated in her mind. It's moments like these when Ana's immaturity rears its head. Christian has always taken care of the hard stuff. Now, Ana is forced to grow up in a sense and take on the role as the sole decision maker of the household. Maybe this is exactly what Ana needs in order to break out of her cocoon and become a butterfly? Ana takes all of this into consideration.

Pulling up her big girl pants and fastening them tight, Ana takes care of some work-related items before spending some one-on-one time with Ted. After playtime, Ana gets back reading the manuscript. 'I will in fact be done reading this tonight,' Ana thinks to herself, knowing that Christian will not be home tonight as a welcomed distraction.

For dinner, Gail prepared for Ana one of her favorites, chicken potpie. After Ted has been fed and bathed, Ana takes over 'bedtime story duty' for Christian once again. It's another adventure with Curious George. Ted isn't as reluctant to fall asleep this time around since Mommy has played with him quite a bit today. Ana concludes her night at the breakfast bar with her trusty tea and the manuscript. She reads the last page just before the stroke of midnight. She weeps.

The book has struck a nerve, and it doesn't help that she is missing Christian terribly. The story does in fact have a happy ending, but what touched Ana the most were the hurdles William jumped through, all for Amanda's love. William put his heart out on the line, not caring whether or not she reciprocated. Once Amanda truly understood the depths of William's love, she was able to let go and therefore be healed. Likewise, Ana's love for Christian has helped to heal him. Ana now has a better understanding of the power that lies within her.

'I am Christian's balm,' Ana meditates as she finally drifts off to sleep in her bed.