The cursor blinked repeatedly on the open document she had on her laptop, waiting for her typing to command new words for the chapter she was trying to write. But, as her hands lay still over the keyboard, nothing came to fill up the space.

She'd come home with the idea of working on her novel, thinking that maybe it'd be a good exercise to let herself calm down. But she simply couldn't do more than thinking about what she'd learned about herself that day.

As a start, she'd remembered how difficult it was to feel hurt and why she'd decided to hide it all deep within herself. It was just so much... feeling wasn't a smooth trip at all. But not feeling wasn't really easier, because it didn't mean she didn't actually feel; it was only that she didn't pay attention while limiting herself to burying her emotions somewhere deep inside. And now, as she allowed herself to dive into what she felt, she found that the experiences she'd encountered of late left her on the lower side of the mood-scale.

Well, that could be so. But she knew it was mathematically impossible to be like that forever. Eventually, something incredibly good would happen, and she hoped that 'something' would be good enough to help her find the balance. She had at least to give this experiment that chance. Otherwise, she'd miss half of what life had to give... just as she used to. She'd be back to being someone she didn't want to be anymore.

She knew that many people thought she was cold precisely because she didn't usually allow her feelings to arise. But she did feel... it was only that she didn't let it come to surface most of the times. And, as she risked doing exactly that because she thought it was worth it, she found she didn't really have guidelines to lead her.

Maybe Angela was right, and all she had to do now was take a chance when the person was right. Maybe she didn't have to be that open with everyone; perhaps she only had to train herself to feel this much with people she cared deeply about and that cared just as much back. The main obstacle would be learning to recognize when the moment was right, and when the person was right.

She was a genius, she could do that. She'd learn to read people and be open about her emotions when the person was right, and not only when she lost control.

Maybe Booth would help. Maybe that would help with Booth.

She could see it both ways.

Booth had been there for her on those occasions where she was so terrified she hadn't been able to help herself and had looked for his shoulder to rely on. He'd seen her cry and be nervous and afraid, and he still was there. He'd seen the parts of her she least liked, and he took it all in stride and stayed. In other words, he accepted that she wasn't perfect. So perhaps he'd accept her mistakes while she was learning to balance her overwhelming feelings and the appropriate responses to them. He even could teach her, just as he explained pop references to her. And if she learned to do that, she could find her way to a nice and full relationship with him.

She still wasn't used to the notion she wanted to be romantically involved with him. That was another thing she'd learned about herself during her discussion with her friend that day, and it left her breathless.

She could only wonder at how long it had taken her to realize she was more than just physically attracted to him. It had to be not only because she used to hide her feelings; she was sure it was all influenced by that line she was so sure existed no matter what between them. She'd hidden behind that line so as to not risk herself and their friendship, holding to it whenever she felt something not really partner-like.

And what was that? What did she feel about Booth?

She didn't know, and she wasn't sure she was ready to acknowledge it just yet. She was barely prepared to accept she wanted to be with him romantically—and that was a giant step for her. She'd never let herself think about a relationship when she wasn't sure the other was interested... ok, she knew Booth was interested in some way. But she also knew how stubborn he could be and if he insisted on the line and the risks and all that, she could very well find herself frustrated and sad. And that was something she'd never let herself risk.

But she was willing to risk it if it was Booth they were talking of. That she could understand and work with. She'd consider being committed to a relationship with him, one in which they could both be who they were because that's what they both wanted from each other. She could believe they'd have something like that... if they managed to start something.

She closed the laptop, finally realizing she wouldn't have anything done that night. She got up and went to the kitchen to make herself some tea and try to relax, because she wouldn't be sleeping that night otherwise.

She put the electric water kettle on and prepared her tea leaves to make a relaxing infusion. If she wasn't able to talk to Booth soon to set her mind to peace, she'd make do with what she had within reach.

Or could she?

She looked at her microwave clock and saw it was 9:30. It was early enough to go to his home and see if they could talk things through. They had to talk about what had happened last night and what she felt was between them.

She turned the electric water kettle off and got her jacket and keys on her way out, promising she wouldn't think anymore until she got there, letting her heart go in full drive.

***

She parked her car and walked the short distance to his house, trying to discern his presence through the windows. She knew the fact his car wasn't there didn't really mean much, since he always parked it in the small garage next to his house.

She climbed the stairs to his door and looked for a light that would tell her of his presence in the house.

Everything was in darkness, so she could only guess he was still at work. He could be trying to keep himself busy, which would mean he could arrive anytime until midnight. She'd known him doing that. And she could only understand if he was doing that in their current situation.

So, he wasn't home. But she'd wait; it didn't matter how long it took him to get home, she'd be there, waiting to talk to him. And, unless the night grew too cold, she'd wait right there, on his steps, so there'd be no chance whatsoever of missing him on his way in.

She rested a hip against the rail and crossed her arms in front of her to keep herself as warm as she could. Seeley Booth, please hurry, she thought.

***

She didn't know how long she'd been there, but she'd bet it was more than an hour. She'd sat on the steps a while ago, thinking that the closest to a ball she got, the less cold she'd feel.

It was getting hard not to think. Before she'd left home she'd told herself she needed to let her heart open when she talked to Booth, because it was only that and the arguments she had thought of and what Angela had told her that held her chances to convince him it wasn't such a bad idea to start something together. All she'd allowed herself to do was thinking of what she'd already thought, as a way to see every angle possible.

But she felt herself weakening. She needed some kind of stimulation beyond the cold to focus on her feelings; if she wasn't feeling, how was she supposed to stop thinking? She was a genius, but she couldn't work miracles. She'd spent half her life pretending not to feel... she couldn't just change it all of a sudden.

But she'd try. She sure as everything would. She deserved it, her loved ones deserved it. And, if she was able to convince Booth that trying something out with her wasn't dangerous or that bad an idea at all, they both would deserve it.

She felt a worm of doubt for the first time since she'd come to the resolution of talking to him that same night. What she was about to do was so foreign to her that her defenses—her old defenses—managed to ask her if she was sure of what she was doing. She still had time to go back and think things over.

Just before she could answer herself, she heard the door to her back clicking open. She got up too surprised to be scared, turning to see the man she'd been waiting for stepping out the door.

"Bones... What are you doing here?"

He heee...

There's only 2 chaps left. Next one will be up really soon! And something tells me you'll enjoy it...

Thanks to my beta, Bailadora. Her help has been great throughout this story!