Never Any Rain
So this is the chapter where we (and Alex) finally learn what really happened to Izzie. This might be a little intense for some. It's not really graphic, but it could be disturbing for some. Please Read and Review. Also, this story will, in the next few chapters, warrant a rating change to M, so just know that its coming.
Chapter 10
"He's fallen in love with you."
"What?" Shock sprang from Izzie's chocolate eyes as she looked up at Lillian. She had thought the older woman was asleep when she sat down in the chair across the room with a book.
"Alex. He's in love with you. Don't think that just because I'm stuck in this bed that I haven't noticed how much closer the two of you have gotten. I saw what happened last night just before dessert. I don't know what was said, but I know my son. He wanted to make whatever was upsetting you go away. He's always been protective like that. Plus, I've seen the look in his eyes when he says your name. Trust me."
Izzie stared at Lillian, silent, trying to keep her expression in check. Despite her efforts, fear won out and covered her face.
"It scares you ... that he loves you." It wasn't a question. The frail woman knew. "Izzie ... I'm going to tell you something that nobody else knows. Not Meredith. Not Alex. And I don't ever want them to know. You have to promise me that they will never know."
Izzie hesitated, but nodded as she bit her bottom lip.
"Jack, that's Alex and Meredith's father ... he wasn't a good man. But I'm sure Alex has told you that. The kids knew about the beating and the alcohol. If Alex had been bigger, I'm certain he would have physically taken him on to protect me and Meredith if it ever came to that. But they were too young to really understand what was going on."
Confusion joined the fear that marred Izzie's pretty face.
"When Jack was drunk, he would throw punches. When he was high, he got ... amorous and agressive. I was always afraid that if I wouldn't give him what he wanted he might ... take his agression out on one of them. So I took it. For ten years I dealt with him forcing himself on me. Night after night he was destroying me. Causing me physical pain I never knew existed. When he left, I swore to myself that I would never let another man get close enough to see what Jack Karev did to me."
Izzie swallowed deeply trying to keep her emotions in tact. She looked at her hands, unable to face the woman who had figured out the cause of her pain.
"How did you know?" she asked, almost inaudibly.
Lillian sighed.
"I put the pieces together. Alex told me when you first came that there was a man in LA ... a man you were running from. I've watched you, and its been like looking into a mirror that took me back twenty years. You hide your pain. Try to live normally, but you're hurting inside. You're scared to let anyone near you because of what that man did to you."
The younger woman sniffled, but looked up at Alex's mother.
"Izzie, listen to me, sweetie. There is nothing you can do to change what that man did. That damage is done. But you can heal. You have to. And you can't shut yourself off to love. I know, because that's what I did. I refused to let another man love me, and here I am on my deathbed, alone. I'm okay with that. I've accepted it. I made my choices. But it's not too late for you."
"I don't know that I can. I'm not ready. I'm not sure any man would want me if they knew ..." she couldn't finish the thought.
"You have a man who loves you, no matter what, right here in this house. He'll wait until you're ready. Just don't shut him out. He's my son. He loves you. Don't take that away from him because of your fear."
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Looking out the screen door into the darkness of the night, she could see Alex sitting on front steps, facing away from her, nursing a beer. She closed her eyes silently composing herself and pushing away her fears. She opened the door quietly, steping out onto the porch.
"It didn't start off so bad. Just yelling. Screaming."
Alex had apparently not heard her exit the house, as he turned around looking at her with surprise.
"Iz ... "
She ignored his interruption because she knew she only had one chance to get this out in the open. She'd never have the strength to start again.
"Denny had always been a bit of a dictator when it came to my career. He knew what he wanted and he knew exactly how to get it. He wouldn't let anything get in his way."
Alex watched her, shocked that she was finally opening up to him. She stood fixed behind him, seemingly unable to move. She stared straight ahead, needing to avoid his eyes.
"He made sure that I knew he was to be obeyed. He liked his liquor. A really bad combination. For the past year, he had gotten comfortable yelling at me ... telling me that I was stupid. That I wasn't capable of anything other than sitting around in my underwear looking pretty. He made me believe that I would be nothing without him. He got too comfortable with just the yelling."
An eerie pause settled between them, neither one sure if they wanted the rest of the story to be told.
"He would knock me around. Make sure I knew who was boss. He was very careful to never leave marks. A model who had bruises all over her body wouldn't bring in the cash, so he got bored with that pretty quickly."
If Izzie had been watching the man in front of her, she would have seen the fire raging beneath the hazel pools of his eyes. Images of his father's fist making contact with his mother's face flashed through his mind, furious that Izzie had been through that too.
"Two or three months ago ... he started forcing me into his bedroom ... forcing me to have sex with him. I told him no, but he ... When I told him no, he made sure that it hurt worse. ... that it did more damage. He scared me into keeping quiet. Told me that if I said anything he would make sure that no man would ever want to touch me again. Once he even told me that he would kill me if I ever said anything."
Alex clenched his fists willing himself to control his temper. He knew there was nothing he could do about Duquette in that moment, but the anger bubbling up within his being was almost too much to reign in.
"Son of a bitch."
Izzie finally looked at him as the words quietly but furiously seethed from his lips.
"Alex. Don't."
"Izzie, if you had just told me ..."
"I was scared," she said with voice raised. "He had me convinced that the best thing was to just keep quiet. I don't know how I let him have that much control over me, but he did. I hate that girl who wouldn't leave. I do, because I know better now."
She moved to sit beside him on the stairs, staring him dead in the eyes.
"You were the only person in LA, besides maybe Joe, who saw me as anything other than that supermodel with the big brown eyes and perfect boobs. I was Izzie to you. When you told me you were leaving, I realized I would be completely alone. You were my last chance. That's why I wanted to come with you. That's why I'm running from Denny."
Alex tried to calm himself when she placed a shaking hand on his forearm. The reality of her pain was slowly sinking in. He had suspected, wondered. But knowing the truth, hearing it from her perfect lips, hurt worse than he could have imagined. He placed his hand over hers, squeezing gently, his thumb rubbing circles in her palm.
"Alex, I ... I'm not ready yet. I'm not healed. But I will be. I have to be. But I need to know that I have someone to be healed for."
"Izzie. You need time. I know that. I don't expect you to be ready yet. Just ... when you are ready, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere. Because I do love you. I just wish I could take some of this away from you."
No tears in her eyes, she felt relief surge through her body. She had told him. He hadn't run. On the contrary, he pulled her as close as she would let him, placed two caring arms around her. She could tell by the way he was still slightly shaking that anger was still there, running through his veins. If Denny were standing right there, she had no doubt that Alex would probably kill the older man. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe. Really truly safe.