Authors Note: Hey Guys! I'm so so so sorry for my lack of updates! I've been insanely busy with work, birthdays, weddings, and baby showers, and it looks like it's only going to get a little crazier before things finally settle down again, I hope you'll forgive me. Anyway, the theme for this Chapter or I guess the "title" of the this chapter is "Fine" because lets face it, how many of us say we're fine without really meaning it! Hope you all like this chapter, and don't forget to let me know what you think. Enjoy!
p.s. please forgive any errors! i tried my best to read through and fish them all out!
Flashback:
"Oh my god!" Caroline bends down and grabs her shirt to try and cover herself with it. Which reminds me of my own lack of clothes
"Oh my god…" I repeat after her and wrap my sheet tighter around myself
Stefan covers his face and exhales a long breath "oh my…"
"…God. Yeah I think we've covered that" Damon interrupts him
"What the hell are you even doing here Damon?"
"Oh now come on Stef, I'm sure you can put two and two together, you're not that dense" he smirks at him
"Seriously Elena… I thought I warned you about him"
"Stefan can we not talk about this right now, please" I beg
"No, no, 'Lena I think I'd like to hear this, what did my darling little brother have to say about me "
"Ugh, can you guys please not do this now, obviously we were all in the middle of something so can we please just talk about this in the morning" Caroline finally speaks up
"Actually Blondie, we were just finishing up, you however were caught red handed" Damon smirks at her
"Ugh, you're so disgusting, come on Stefan lets go" she tugs on his arm
"Actually Care, I think I'm gonna head back to my place, I'll call you in the morning, ok?" he pulls her in for a hug
"Ok… I understand," she says while staring daggers at Damon over Stefan's shoulder
As Stefan turns to the door Caroline makes her way to her room with just a slightly bitter huff
"So… that was interesting" I say
"To say the least…" he smiles "look I don't want you to think I'm blowing you off, but I should probably go after him, sometimes I forget how sensitive things still are between him and I, and I just wanna make sure he's ok"
I can feel my face drop at his words, and I hope he doesn't notice, but of course he does…
"Hey…" he reaches up and cups my cheek "I can practically hear the gears in your head moving. Stops over thinking everything 'Lena"
"Ok" I say, trying not to show that I'm hurt.
I'm a big girl and I agreed to this, it's time to suck it up and act like one
He ducks his head down a bit so he can look me in the eye "are we still good?" he asks
I lean in on my tip toes and press a gentle kiss to his lips
"Yeah, we're good" I smile at him
"Ok, I'll call you" he presses a kiss to my forehead, and head to the door
"So what do you think about this dress for Tyler's party?" Care asks as she steps out of the dressing room
"I love it, and I think Stefan will too" I smirk at her
"Ugh, you've been spending too much time with Damon." She sighs, "I knew this was coming. Go ahead… give me the Elena speech about how I need to be more careful and all that"
"Ha, I don't think I'm really in the position to be giving anyone speeches about anything" I laugh at myself
"Yeah, what's going on with all that, you still ok with it?" she asks
"I'm having fun, he makes me laugh, and I forget about all the negative bullshit in my life when I'm with him, why wouldn't I be fine"
"I'm just checking. So you really think this dress is the one?"
"Definitely"
After she finished paying for the dress we make our way out the street
"What do you want for lunch?" she asks me
"How about we try that new bakery down the street, I heard they have really good sandwiches"
"Ok, sounds good to me" she turns to walk towards the restaurant but then pauses
"Or…" she turns to face me suddenly "there's a really good pizza places over there" she points in the opposite direction"
"What?" I laugh at her "I thought you said you were done with pizza, that you wanted to start watching your calories, what's going on?" I laugh and look around.
Then I spot Damon sitting at a table in front of a little bistro with a blonde girl, and it hurts like I knife to my heart.
I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that we're not in an exclusive relationship, that he told me from the beginning that he wasn't a one woman man, and that this is exactly what I sign up for.
"Elena, I'm sorry…"
"For what? You didn't do anything" I interrupt her
"I… it's just… I saw him and I didn't want you to be hurt" she gives me her infamous Caroline sad eyes
"I'm fine" I say stoically
"Elena…" she says sympathetically
"I said I'm fine."
PRESENT DAY:
I lay in my bathtub, glass of wine in one hand and Luke's business card in the other, it's been a little over a week since my run in with him and just like every other night this week I sit here debating whether I should call him or not.
I know I told Caroline that I needed to move on and stop pining for Damon but just like most things in life it's easier said than done.
In my mind I want nothing more than to move on and to have Damon be nothing more than a distant memory, but in reality the thought of that actually happening cuts me to my core.
On one hand it would just be coffee with Luke, but on the other hand, what if it started to turn into more, how can I give my heart away to someone else when I still haven't gotten it back.
Sometimes I can't help but think how much easier my life would be if I had never met Damon, how different things would be if I would've just said a quick hello to him and then made my way to class that first day with Stefan, what would've happened if I had decided to give Elijah that second chance instead of taking a chance on Damon. But then I think about the good times we had, and how I am who I am today because of those experiences and I realize I wouldn't trade them for the world.
That's exactly what Damon is to me, he's a memory, and needs to remain one.
With that thought I pick up the phone and dial Luke's number.
"Hello" he answers
"Um, hey. It's Elena" I reply awkwardly "the girl you bumped into the other day" I clarify after he doesn't say anything
"No, Yeah. I remember you, I was just a little shocked for a second" he says "I honestly didn't think you were gonna call"
"Good shocked, I hope," I say flirtatiously
"Definitely a good shock" he flirts back "It would be even better if you were calling to accept my offer to buy you a cup of coffee sometime"
"Well then it's your lucky day, because that just so happens to be the exact reason I'm calling" it's amazing how easy it is to flirt with this man I just met.
"Oh I'm definitely a lucky man" I can hear the smile on his voice "So how does tomorrow afternoon sound?"
"Oh um, well I have work" I say disappointed
"Oh, of course" he must sense the disappointment in voice because he continues "Oh what the hell, what do you say we skip this whole coffee nonsense and I just take you out on the dinner date that I really want to take you on Friday night"
"Straight to dinner huh? I'm, not sure…" I tease him
"Oh come one Elena, don't make me beg" he chuckles
"Dinner sounds great, pick me up at seven?" I'm shocked at how comfortable I am talking to him
"See you then 'Lena" he hangs up
And just like that, I want to curl up into a fetal position and hide, hearing another man call me 'Lena is like someone twisting knife in my stomach, the knife that has been there since everything went wrong.
Instead of giving up and hiding from the world like I want to, I take a deep breath and power through it, I said I wanted to move on and it's finally time to do so.
I'm finally putting my past behind me.
"I hope this place is ok," Luke asks as we pull up to an Italian restaurant in Richmond
"Are you kidding me, I love this place, I was about to ask you if your were a mind reader" I joke
"So what is it that you do Luke?" I ask after taking our seats
"I'm a pediatrician and Mystic General"
"Oh wow, that's amazing"
"What about you, what do you do?" he asks
"I write for the mystic journal"
"Is that what you always wanted to do?"
"I pretty much knew from the time I was eight that I wanted to be a writer, what I wanted to write has changed over the years, but I'm fine where I am"
"Fine, doesn't exactly scream dreams come true" he states
"Ha, no I guess not, but dreams change. Sometimes they have to"
"You are a mysteriously cryptic person Elena Gilbert," he says
I laugh " what about you did you always want to be a doctor?" I ask
"Well my dad and grandpa are doctors, so they were pretty hopeful from the day I was born, and unlike most kids I didn't hate the path they wanted me to take, and I always knew I wanted to do something with kids, so it seemed like a give in"
"Wow, a doctor who loves kids, and wasn't a rebellious teenager, you really are something aren't you" I tease
"I guess you could say that, "he reaches across the table and puts his hand on mine, and it actually feels nice, I don't want to pull away.
"Thank you, I had a really great night tonight" I say as we reach my front door
"It was my pleasure Elena, I'd love to do it again sometime"
"Yeah that would be nice" I smile
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips
"Have a good rest of the night " he says and then walks back to his car
After showering and changing into my pajamas I get into bed and look at my phone noticing I have 2 missed calls from Damon when I hear someone knocking on my door, I don't get a good feeling about this.
"Ugh, Damon. What are you doing here?" I asked annoyed
"I can't believe you went on a date without telling anyone the guys name! Nobody knew who you were with or where you were… do you have any idea how dangerous that is! That's the beginning of every 48 hours special!"
"Are you kidding me right now?! This has nothing to do with you!" I'm fuming
"Are you fucking serious! You could have been raped or killed…:
"Again. This has nothing to do with you" I interrupt him
"Oh don't do that, don't you fucking do that!"
"Do what? What! Damon, what do you want!"
"Don't act like I don't care about you" he stops shouting
"NO! NO! You don't get to come here at eleven o'clock at night and tell me you care about me, that's not fair. You want to treat Andie right and give your relationship a shot… then don't come here. Don't show up at your ex-girlfriends house acting like a jealous boyfriend. Jesus Damon where does she even think you are?!"
"She's out of town"
I laugh humorlessly
"I'm sorry you're lonely Damon, but that doesn't mean you can waltz in here and tear apart my world because you think you have right to"
"I'm not lonely…" he says
"Then why are you here? You don't want me Damon, you made that perfectly clear a few weeks ago, so let me move on with someone who does… unless you have something else to tell me" I look at him accusingly, and damn me for giving him another chance to say he wants me, I'm so fucking pathetic
"I'm here because I was worried," he says simply
"Well I'm fine. Besides, I'm not yours to worry about anymore" I say bitterly
"Elena, don't…"
"please leave…" I don't let him finish
"'Lena…"
I cringe
"Leave"
So much for my nice night.
End A/N: remember… Review, review, review!