Diana's POV
It takes my body a week to get used to regular food. We started with toast, upgraded to muffins the next day, and then slowly I started having meals delivered. Granted, I can not eat as much as I used to, but at least I can eat enough of the food groups to bring me back to a healthier weight in time. My friends come visit during the week; we play board games and talk about things other than my wellness. The ones who teach are back doing that after a few days off. Aelix found a replacement person to help new demigods find out what powers they have, serving as a volunteer in the infirmary. He checks in on me every once in a while, not daring to make physical contact unless I initiate it. I'm still wary due to the fake memories of him hurting me and it's going to take some time to recover from that. He plays board games with me on his breaks, Sandra joining us sometimes. They put her off of my personal care, seeing that being my friend is a conflict of interest.
I am strong enough to walk now. Hosting a god and sending one to Tartarus took a lot out of me physically. They get Marie to help me walk, as she does not teach any classes and has a lot of free time. I can almost do a lap of the infirmary without losing my breath and they say it's good enough to move me into my cabin, since there will be people with me at every moment to help me. Marie and I are given the mission of heading back to my cabin and making a schedule for people to watch me as well of a list my little council deemed appropriate and able.
When Marie come to fetch me, she informs me that Ugene still hasn't woken up. He's in some sort of coma that they can't find the cause of. Ginnifer is going to try some magic on him later and if he turns out to be a decent human being, he might get put on the list of caregivers for me.
Since the cabin is farther than I am capable of walking, Marie has a wheelchair to transport me. Sam does the honor of taking off the heart monitor and helping me into some not-hospital clothes. All of my clothes from before were still in the cabin, so someone fetched me some sport shorts and a t-shirt. Due to spending more time with her, I have gotten desensitized by physical contact from her. I walk over to the chair, sit down and offer a small smile to Marie.
As soon as we exit the infirmary, she starts running.
"Crazy driver!" She yells as she runs. I laugh full-heartedly for the first time in so long, whilst holding on for dear life.
Martin is at the entrance of the cabin when we arrive. He opens his arms for a hug, to which I accept. Martin never appeared in my nightmares for some reason. He ushers us inside. Mark is sitting on one of the beds. There are flowers on all of the beds, which have suitcases and other belongings underneath. My breath is taken from my lungs. I find myself gasping for air, my brain turning into lead and my throat burns.
"Diana?" Mark says in slight alarm.
Martin signs something frantically. Mark nods.
"Diana, what's wrong?" Mark says. Marie comes around to the front. She swears. She grabs something from a closet. She comes over to me, hooking something around my face.
"Breath," her voice is like honey. The command breaks whatever is happening and my lungs find air again.
"I-i-i-i-i-i-it wasn't a nightmare?" I am able to gasp. I thought my brothers were alive. I mean, Ares put fake memories of my friend's deaths, surely he could do that with my brother's? Apparently he did not… Their deaths were real.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…. I'm the reason they are dead…" I sob. Martin, who has tears in his eyes, asks if I want a hug. I nod and he embraces me.
"I'm sorry Diana, I thought you knew…." Marie sorrowfully says.
I take the grief and shove far down. Partly using my mind, partly using magic, I hide it away to a place where it can't be reached. I sober up.
"We are here to show me my room. Let's go," I emotionlessly say. Martin parts from me, a few tears escaping his eyes. Mark sidles up next to him and gives him a peck on the lips. Marie helps me stand up. The tank of air gets detached from my head by Mark and he carries it down the stairs. I remember that room. It used to be a drug lab before Chiron found it. It later got converted into a bedroom for me, equipped with a bathroom and everything. After regaining my breath from the journey down the stairs, I realize there have been a few changes. There is a medical cart in here, probably filled with emergency supplies. My bed has been upgraded to fit two people and another bed has been added to the room. When I ask Marie, she says that since I might be having nightmares, and children of Phobos have to be in contact with me in order to take away those nightmares, they got me a bigger bed. And the extra one is for when friends and whatnot sleep over. The medical cart is here due to my… history with needing medical attention. Marie sits me on the bed, makes sure I am comfy, and then Martin passes her a piece of paper plus a pen. Marie has the list of people who qualified for the job of staying with me. They have some more children of Phobos that Aelix approved for night shifts so that Aelix can hang out with me during the day. The people on the list are all of my friends, any child of Apollo, Martin and Mark together (since they are dating and Mark can sign), and a few other demigods from other houses. The older heroes are leaving soon so they are not on the list.
"So, who on this list do you feel comfortable being with you?"
I circle Martin and Mark first, which causes Martin to smile a little. He signs something.
"He asked if you had any nightmares about him or I," Mark translates. I inform them I did not.
I look at Marie, unsure of who to trust. It is the supposedly fake memories that make me hesitant. I get her to circle Joselyn, Evaline, Sandra, herself, Aelix, Ammon, Kacey, and Mitchell. I don't really care about the Phobos children since I will be sleeping. I get her to circle a few random names too. She smiles at our progress and gets the two boys to run the names over to Kacey. She asks if I care about the scheduling and I tell her I don't. Marie shows me the contract regarding my care. She warns me that while I might not like it, I don't have much say in the contract.
She tells me that the trio of guardians decided that in an emergency, whoever is looking after me is allowed to use their powers to help. There are specifications about what constitutes as an emergency and what is and isn't allowed. I shakily ask her if there are any needles in the cart. Marie informs me that the cart is locked and magic proof.
"That's not answering my question," I tell her.
Marie admits there are sedatives in there but part of the contract is that these people will only use inject if it's the only option.
A knock on the door disrupts our conversation. Aelix enters the downstairs room, smiling at me upon entrance. He stays near the door but looks at me.
"Hey, I'm off for the rest of the day. Did you want to do anything..." He glances at Marie and then back at me "Together?"
Marie gets the hint. She asks if that's ok with me. I tell her I would like some alone time with him where we are both conscious. She chuckles at that and exits, saying she will be figuring out a schedule with Kacey.
Aelix and I share an awkward silence for a little while.
"Anything in particular you want to do?" Aelix asks. I think about how considerate Aelix has been this whole time. He has been patient, respectful, and kind. I drove him crazy by being away and I am back but am not the same girl I used to be. I am less than I used to be. I need to prove myself worthy, need to make it up to him. Even though my memories tell me differently, I gesture for him to come sit beside me on the bed. Aelix smiles a little, almost in relief that after all the shit Ares put into my head, I still want to be with him. He seems relieved but also hesitant. He looks at the bookshelf in my room and gestures to it.
"Did you want to read a book or do a puzzle?" Aelix asks. He looks over to the bookshelf and then back at me. When he turns back to me, I wrap my arm around his neck and using my forearms, gently push him down onto the bed. I straddle his waist and lower my head to meet his, making a trail of kisses across his cheek, until I get to his lips. He kisses me back. Butterflies dance in my stomach with adrenaline and a little bit of anxiety. He senses the anxiety and, either meaning to or not, takes it away. I'm not afraid of him at all. I make the kiss deeper, adding tongue. Aelix sits up, and I allow him to. We part from each other briefly. I slip my shirt off, throwing it to the other side of the room. I start to kiss him again, but he breaks it. He slides out from under me, backing up a little.
"Diana this isn't right. You are in mourning, your emotions are probably all over the place, and you may think that you want to do certain things."
Aelix picks up my shirt from the floor. He hands it to me, and I shockedly put it back on. I look down at my lap.
"Don't you... Want me?" I quietly ask. I'm embarrassed. I thought he would enjoy it.
"It's not that I don't want to do them with you, it's that I want to make sure you want to do that with me too, fully and truly."
Aelix stands at a small distance away; far enough to give me personal space yet close enough that if I were to fall, or reach out for him, he could close the distance quickly. He tries to meet my eyes but I keep staring at his feet.
"I need you to know something," he tells me. "Diana?"
I nod so he knows I'm listening.
"I am not going to touch you in any sort of sexual way until you are mentally able to consent. I know that you have been through a lot due to Ares and I want you to know I will never try to take advantage of that. We both know that I can take away fear and I accidentally just did it; I don't want you to become dependent on that, or for me to accidentally use that power and do something bigger because you can't consent to that. Know, in saying this, if you need me I am here. I will always be here for you." He sincerely and seriously tells me.
"Does that mean I can't hug you? Because boyfriends can hug their girlfriends..."
"Well, you hug Marie right?" He lightly says. I nod. "So you can hug me, if you want."
"What about stopping the nightmares… Can you do that?" I ask. My eyes water up.
"Yes, if you want me to. But, I do want to be with you while we are both conscious."
I tell him I want that too. He asks if I have met the siblings who will be on the Nightmare team, to which I say I have not.
"Can you help stop the nightmares tonight?" I croak. Something in his eyes turns sad, empathetic.
"If you want me to. Only because you can't practice any mindfulness techniques in your sleep."
I cross my arms over my chest, not meeting his eyes.
"That means you will have to sleep in my bed..." I say deadpanned. Aelix tries to get a reading of how I feel just from the way I said that.
"Is that okay with you?" He asks.
I nod. He tells me he wants me to say it out loud so that he knows I truly mean it.
"I want you to sleep in my bed with me and take away the nightmares." I tell him. He smiles with satisfaction and relief.
I apologize for my actions and Aelix accepts my apology. He asks if I want to read or play any board games. I think back to the things we have done in the past as dates. I don't have to think long, since I have been missing for a month or two. We should probably go on more dates and talk some more in the near future. I ask Aelix if we can go have a picnic. He smiles.
"Sure... Did you want to do that instead of supper?" He asks. I nod.
"Nothing fancy. Just... I don't want to be stared at by everyone..."
Aelix looks confused by this.
"If anyone stares, it's because they respect your heroism. Your perseverance." He tells me. "But, a not fancy picnic alone sounds lovely."
Aelix decides to take me along to go ask permission from Kacey. It's almost suppertime so she will be in the Big House. Aelix grabs a sweater for me and asks if I would rather his assistance in walking, or if I want to use the wheelchair. I ask him to help me. Aelix decides on carrying me up the stairs, asking for my permission for different things. He grabs the air tank too, wrapping the tubing up.
We make it to the Big House after taking a few stops for me to catch my breath. During these stops, I notice the stares of people who are walking around camp. They don't talk to me but I can tell they talk about me.
Kacey allows us to have the picnic, giving a few guidelines. We can't go into the woods, at least one other person has to be present, and the beach is off limits. Aelix asks me if I mind him surprising me with the location. I decide to go with it. Kacey then gets me to hang out with her. She wants me to meet some of Aelix's siblings before they help me sleep. She explains that out of precaution, all of them are female now. I recognize one of the six girls whom Aelix trained to take away fear. Kacey reports that they have all been tested and can indeed take fears away. When I raise concern as the possible ethics of this testing, Kacey assures me that they were trained in the infirmary, with people who were nervous. The girls are all older, ranging from sixteen years to twenty two years. They all have signed contracts about the situation. Aelix had the ability to enter my nightmare once; they are not to do such a thing. They have to either wake me up themselves, use something from the medical cart, or get Aelix. My friends and Clovis are the only ones allowed to enter my nightmares.
The girls introduce themselves. Tomorrow night, all of them are going to have a practice night, since I requested Aelix to help tonight. Kacey asks if the girls have any questions for me. One of them asks what typically I have nightmares about. Apparently they will be able to sense general themes or what I'm fearing. I try to answer but it's too hard and I break down crying. One of the girls immediately reacts; she gently pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back soothingly. The way Aelix does. I try to get out of the headspace of remembering my past but the memories start popping up.
When I come back to senses, I am riding on Kacey's horse part, with someone's arms wrapped around me and holding on to Kacey.
"Kacey?" I hoarsely say. Kacey immediately stops.
"Diana?" Eva's voice is behind me. I flinch at her voice.
"What happened?"
Apparently I went into shock, becoming catatonic. Eva just so happened to be stopping by so the two of them decided to bring me to Aelix. We were riding to the picnic. Eva gets off and helps me dismount from Kacey. I sink to the ground. Eva joins me in the grass, looking for eye contact. I look into my lap. Kacey already told Eva what was happening leading up to this episode. Kacey leaves me with Eva to fetch Aelix. Eva offers me a hug. I accept it and she holds me until I let go. I sigh and wrap the blanket they put around me a little tighter. I sorrowfully ask Eva what I did to deserve this. She sadly looks at me, and tells me that I don't deserve what has happened to me. Not in my past, both pre-camp and while at camp.
Aelix runs over as soon as he locates where I am. He sits down next to me in the grass and asks if I still want to do the whole picnic date. I do. He and Eva help me stand up. I lean more so on Aelix for support. Kacey asks him if he is good.
"I'm great," he sats, hugging me close after asking if I am ok with that. He breaks the hug and takes a step back.
"Do you trust me?" He asks, a mischievous gleam in his eye. I tell him I do. Aelix pulls out a blindfold from his pocket and gestures that he wants to put it on me. I nod.
With the blindfold on, Aelix gets me to walk. He guides me along until he stops. He tells me to take the blindfold off.
We are at the entrance to the amphitheater. I gasp. On the stage is a basket and a picnic blanket. There are fake flowers around the blanket of many shapes and colors.
"Oh Aelix... It's beautiful!" I exclaim.
He leads me down the stairs and up to the stage. We sit down on the blanket. Aelix pulls out of the basket containers of food. All of them are from the camp's kitchen. Out first course is caesar salad, since I can eat solids now and have been wanting something not basic. It's really good; there's bacon in it.
"So, Aelix," I say between bites. "Tell me about you."
He looks at me, confused, and chuckles.
"What?"
"Tell me more about you. You know so much about me and my past. I don't know that much about you other than what you told me last time I was in the infirmary." I explain.
Aelix seems baffled but amused and flattered by my request. We finish our salads and he pulls out containers of veggie pasta. He starts with what he was like as a kid.
He had a very good relationship with his mother, Loretta, growing up. He had many friends but never really had close enough friends to stay in school after coming to camp. His mother met Daniel when he was six, so Aelix grew up with a good father figure. He tells me that when I'm better, he would like me to meet them. He writes to them and has told them a bit about me. Aelix takes this opportunity to inform me that they want his t come home for Christmas. They have told Aelix that I can come along, if I am feeling up for it. Aelix told them about the Ares ordeal, without getting too much into specifics. He told them about how I lost my own parents, when I was abducted, and that I came back not well. He pulls out an envelope from the basket, hands it to me. I open it, intrigued. The scrawls on the paper I pull out are similar to Aelix's; it's a letter from Loretta and Daniel. I place it on my lap, continuing to eat my pasta. They tell me that they have heard about me. They wish me a quick recovery. They say that I can come to their house if I want a break from camp, as a place I can go to. I can't help it but my eyes tear up. Aelix's face washes over with worry.
"Oh my gods, it's too much, isn't it?" he asks, quickly trying to take the letter away, but I chuckle at him.
"These are… happy tears," I warmly say. I wipe away the waterworks and blow my nose in a napkin. Aelix looks at my blankly.
"Happy tears?" he asks for reassurance. I nod and hug him.
We stay in the amphitheater until the sun goes down, after all the food is gone, cuddling on the blanket. And we talk. Aelix tells me about his parents. He asks me about m good memories, since he has mostly heard about the bad ones. I tell him about what I remember before my 'mother' was an alcoholic. Up until around age seven, when the blood transfusions started, she was pretty decent. Her many boyfriends were typically hit or miss. There was one human that actually hit it off pretty well with me. He was a nurse at the local hospital and helped a lot with grade seven immunizations, taking the day off work to come in to calm me down when my 'mother' couldn't make it. His name was Emanuel, and he was probably one of the best guys. Unfortunately, he broke up with my 'mother' due to a huge fight they got into while both were drunk. I tell him about Patrick. Looking back at it, I had a few positive memories with Patrick. He knew about the blood transfusions, about the torture. He would never participate in it; now that I think about it, he saved me from more torture by knocking me out a few times, or causing equipement to go haywire. I tell Aelix about Marie, how she made Denver more bearable.
Aelix talks about his friends from when he was young. Aelix used to play hockey! He tells me about road trips with Daniel to some of his games. He talks about his parents, about how he met Ammon. He tears up talking about Cole and Ajax, but gets through it. I don't mention how I feel responsible for their deaths. I make sure he knows that he can talk about as much or little as he wants. He talks about training with them, becoming friends. About the hijinks and shit they used to do. About how he got the position of teaching demigods how to discover and control their powers. He had to go through a lot of training in order to control his ability to take people's fears away. Aelix was only able to start controlling it a year ago. Some of his siblings have followed in his footsteps and learned how to take away fears temporarily, but some have not. Example being that guy who attacked me during the first capture the flag game. When I bring up capture the flag, Aelix's face lights up as if he just remembered something. I inquire as to what it is.
"Kacey said that as a way to kind of reintegrate into camp and such, you can help with capture the flag. You are in no way allowed to play, but she said you can help establish teams, barrier lines, and where the flag is." Aelix explains.
"That's cool," I am excited to actually be doing an activity where the main focus isn't me.
It isn't until Kacey enters the amphitheater that we realize how long we have been laying on the checkered blanket, gazing up at the stars and talking. She calls to us that the cleaning harpies will be coming soon, so we better hurry back. Kacey has brought with her pajamas for Aelix.
When we get back to my cabin, Martin is already sound asleep in his bunk. I get changed using magic, have a quick shower, and freshen up. Kacey hands me a shot of ambrosia, which is supposed to help with healing my scars and whatnot. She says that maybe with small doses every night, with the help of magic from both Hecate and Apollo kids, we can heal them almost completely. The scar from the Godblade might be difficult even for Apollo himself. Kacey also tells me that if Aelix or his siblings finds it appropriate, I might have to take a sleeping draft each night. I groan but don't argue.
Aelix climbs in first - looking adorable in his nerdy pajamas - and I join him in the bed. Sleep doesn't come easy; the more I think about things, the less I want to sleep. Every time Aelix whispers my name, I respond. He isn't supposed to fall asleep until I do because he can use his power and then as long as we keep in physical contact it will work, no matter if he is conscious or not. Aelix goes over to the cart of equipment and after unlocking it pulls out a vial of liquid. I ask him what he is doing, my voice shaking more than I would like it. He locks the cart up and approaches me with just the vial.
"Down this so you can get to sleep," is his answer. I trust Aelix so I do as he instructs. The last thing I feel is Aelix climbing into bed after disposing of the vial.
Aelix is out of bed when I wake up. I don't know what time it is or how long I have been sleeping. I feel refreshed and ready to take on the new day; whatever was in that vial last night was some really good shit. This has been the best sleep I have had in months. I get changed and do my hair. Camp Halfblood shirt with short shorts. As I am getting changed, I notice that my scars are now just pink lines on my body. All except where Ares stabbed me. That scar is still deep and is sensitive when I run my fingers over it. The stitches are still in. I believe an Apollo kid redid them when I came. My body is slowly healing from it and ambrosia can't fix it. I look at myself in the mirror for a while. I notice how my old shirt hangs more now than it did before I was kidnapped. How my muscles are toned but I have lost a lot of fat. How my hair is scraggly. I use magic to make my hair look healthier.
"Diana?" I hear Aelix call from upstairs, pulling my attention away from the mirror. I yell up to him.
"The infirmary needs to do another check up after breakfast." He calls down. Aelix descends the stairs, smiling when he sees that I'm dressed. "Did you want to eat with the rest of camp today?"
I ask him if I will be stared at, or if anyone will try to talk to me about what happened. He tells me that the cabin leaders have had discussions with their cabins. Since there have been others affected, such as those under mind control, the entirety of camp has been made aware that while the victims of mind control are allowed to discuss things out of group therapy, they are not to approach me with the subject. I agree to go to breakfast. The cooks have been made aware of my dietary needs.
Aelix brings the air tank and the wheelchair along, telling me that they want me to try not to depend on it. Marie arrives at the cabin door shortly after Aelix carries me up the stairs and brings up the stuff. She walks with us to breakfast and stays close to me while Aelix pushes along the wheelchair with the air tank. I am able to make almost to the picnic tables before getting too out of breath and weak. Marie and Aelix suggests that I use one of the aids until I'm feeling better; I choose the wheelchair. Marie takes me to sit with the rest of the group, who all greet me with joy. Aelix sets the tank near me and then goes to grab our food. The table is quiet.
"So, what's on tap for today?" I ask nonchalantly.
Joselyn and Eva have sparring first today. Sandra is off of infirmary duties and will be taking a day off to play and write music. Ammon is hanging with his brother Reilly. Marie and Aelix return with food. My friends try to hide their looks of relief when I devour everything on my plate. I ask Marie and Aelix what we are up to today. Marie is on Diana duty for the first half so I will be hanging with her. Aelix is going to be training. The group talks about different things; training, mostly, but also about gossip around camp. Sandra informs me that one of her sisters, Nora, has requested to see me. Also, after my check up, apparently Ugene has come to consciousness and Kacey wants to see me. Martin and Mark are in the infirmary now.
My friends all give me hugs and squeezes when they leave to go for their respective activities. Marie hooks the air tank to the back of the wheelchair. She helps me walk after making sure I am okay to walk without aids. We head over to the infirmary.
Sam whisks me into a private curtained area. She checks blood pressure, heart, ears, nose, throat, weight, and we do an x-ray. Sam calls in another Apollo kid for checking the stitches. Marie holds my hand comfortingly and helps me keep control of my breath. I yelp at the touch of their hands around my wound. I hear them discuss it, the words "stitches" and "infected" being involved. The other Apollo kid, Thomas, turns to me. He asks to speak to Marie privately. Marie tells them that if it is about me then I deserve to know. They want me to start taking antibiotics and they want to redo the stitches. This time they are going to dress it properly. One of Aelix's sisters enters, along with Martin and Mark. Martin signs quickly.
"It's going to be okay Diana," Mark says for Martin.
Thomas and Sam begin to prep for restitching. With other people they would just start. With me, we get a tiny divider so that I can't see what they are doing. They give me a drug that makes my abdomen lose all it's feeling. Marie and Aelix's sister hold each hand, Marie talking soothingly, my boyfriend's sister taking away my fear.
Instead of getting me to move, they offer that Ugene comes to me. He is recovering from a broken leg that is being treated with nectar and medication. I agree for him to come see me after coming down from the drug high. Marie makes sure I am mentally fine before allowing me to meet Ugene.
He looks the same as when Jeff was portraying him. The only difference is that the real Ugene looks broken, not as confident. He is being supported by a volunteer. Ugene is on some pain medication for a broken leg. They set him on the bed with my permission, helping me to sit up after taking away all the medical equipment.
"Hey," he weakly says.
"Hi," I awkwardly say back. What do I say to him? My only memories of him are not even him. His face is one of my nightmares but it wasn't him. A shadow version of him committed those acts on me and others. I don't know if this Ugene has been informed of what Jeff did. I don't know what has been done to Ugene.
I ask him about what he knows about me and what happened to him.
Ugene knows about Jeff impersonating him. He knows about the tortures I went through while in the barn. He was tortured too. Apparently the mind control did not work on him or Martin. He was tested on for different formulas of the serum used. Our mother had a gene in her human blood that prevents mind control, according to the mind controlled scientists. So Ares killed her. That's partially why he never even tried mind controlling me with the serum.
He knows that I am very mentally ill. He tells me that he wants to help me heal, if allowed, by bonding. I tell him that I need to talk to Kacey. Before he can say anything else, I ask him about the leg. He says that nectar healed everything except the leg, and that was because Ares also tested his physical abilities in combat. Someone broke his leg via kick.
The volunteer comes to collect him. Kacey wants him to get a psychiatric assessment done.
Nora comes to see me. She breaks down crying, apologizing for what she did to me. I start crying as well, telling her I know it wasn't her fault. She showed me compassion and guilt. She doesn't deserve any hate from me. Nora is asked to leave due causing 'patient distress'. I am too distraught to object to her leaving. Marie decides that maybe we should go let off some steam. She asks if I can be cleared for archery or something. Sam and Thomas call down Kacey to confirm the activities I am allowed to do. Kacey agrees with swimming as long as Eva comes with and I wear a bandage on my stitches. She states that once the infection clears up, I can. I get them to take the bandage off for a minute. Sam hesitantly does so. I mutter a few words, feel my power sweep through, and hear gasps.
"Diana, did you just heal yourself?" Thomas asks.
"Yep. Now all you have worry about is the stitches."
I hop off the bed; a flash of pain hit me from the Godblade wound and everything goes black.