She awoke with his arm still draped tightly around her. It was quiet, peaceful, and yet inside her head, she was having a breakdown. She looked over and watched her table side lamp flicker. She was trying to suppress those thoughts, it wasn't working. The flickering of the lamp was only making her more anxious.

The night before felt like a bit of blur, but it was a blur that she remembered all too well. She slept with Krillik, she left the next morning, then she talked to Thane. After talking to Thane, she finally called Garrus for a talk as well, then he got jealous and they had sex. The play of events was confusing to her. She expected him to be angrier. She was angry with herself. He didn't deserve that, no matter how much he said he was okay with it.

She began to feel a bit sick to the stomach. It'd been a long time since she'd felt this was, so nervous she was almost at the point of vomiting. Everything happened so quickly the night before, she couldn't speak. She wanted to apologise so so bad, but she couldn't think of what to say. Now she had a bit of time to think.

Jane had hurt him. She knew that. She hurt him and then she hurt him again, then he blamed himself for it. She exhaled hard. What as she to do? She needed to think, to breath, most importantly, she needed to talk with him. But what could she say?

I'm sorry, I only slept with another man because I was angry with you. But it's okay, because I forgive you now.

She knew that was harsh and it blamed him even more. She was the one to blame, but he also played a part in this. Shepard knew she made an agreement, to love and cherish him, to marry him someday, but she was hurt, and not thinking straight, and more than a little bit desperate.

She exhaled and slowly pushed his arm away, sitting up and letting her bare feet touch the cold floor. Clothes were scattered everywhere, the room looked a mess. She glanced at her empty glass on her desk, the ice had melted as the night went on, so the glass was only filled with water now.

Walking to the bathroom, she let her hand ease the door open, and she starred in the mirror. This reminded her of their first night together. Waking up after a dilemma with fresh scars all over her body, and a bite mark on her neck. She smiled. All she could think to do was smile. Somehow, even with all that happened, her body recognized that night as a good memory. Likely because it was her first night with Garrus, a night she didn't remember much of tragically.

She heard the bed creak and she jumped. He was awake, and she have to face him again. She splashed some cold water against her face, jolting herself awake, then she stepped out to see him.

She was greeted by a large turian male, with a blanket draped over his bare lap. His icy blue eyes staring at her. She was experiencing one of the worst cases of deja vu, but she ignored it.

"Good morning, Jane," he spoke. His voice just after waking up, never ceased to send shivers down her spine. It had such a harsh feel to it. After hearing it, she was sure that she was awake.

"Garrus, we need to talk," she stated.

"Did I do something?"

She sighed, "No," she wasn't able to look him in the eye. She could feel the lump in her throat again and she knew that if she spoke, her voice would quiver and break, "I did something wrong, Garrus."

A stream of tears rushed down her face as she spoke and she wasn't able to hold back a sob. Her face felt like it was on fire, and she knew that her cheeks had turned a bright shade of red.

Within seconds, Garrus was already running to comfort her. His strong arms tightly wrapped themselves around her, engulfing her in a sense of warmth that she knew she did not deserve, not right now, but even still, she nuzzled into him more.

"I'm so sorry," she said between sobs, a hiccup after every word, "You didn't deserve that."

With shaky breath, she leaned in deeper into his chest. Feel the rough of his plates against her cheek and hearing him exhale, rubbing circles on her back.

"I am upset," he said, his voice almost sounded a bit monotone to her.

"I know," she hiccuped again.

"But I know that you're upset too. And you have every right to be. We can talk things out."

"But I cheated," she sobbed even more as she actually spoke the words, somehow unable to contain herself.

"And I lied, Jane, and I kept lying, right to your face,"

"But I agreed to be with you,"

"Only after you knew we were stuck together,"

"I'm so so sorry,"

"I'm sorry too,"

Tears died down, but she still had hitched breaths. She didn't break from his hold though. They just stood there, together. It was quiet, but she didn't mind. She took the time to think about last night. About how Garrus took the blame for it all, about how good he was compared to the other man. She was almost ready to so some more, but she held this one back, afraid to ruin the silence.

He rested his head atop hers and just inhaled her scent. She always had such a nice smell. Something about was amazing to witness. It was a bit tainted though, by the smell of another man. He couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of pain he felt when he noticed that. He was trying to protect his ego. Trying to make himself look better the night before. He was afraid that after she found out about his lies, she would try to leave him, finding out about that other turian was just icing on the cake, as the humans say.

He felt like he was the one to blame. He lied to her and put her in an unbreakable bond. She had every right to be angry, but he just wanted to hold on, never to let go. He would apologise for years and years if he had to, and she would as well, he knew she'd never forgive herself.

He slowly led her back to the bed and sat her down. He finally took a look at her face. Her eyes were swollen and her nose and cheeks were red. She looked like a mess, but he knew that if he were in her situation, he'd be no better.

Taking the empty glass from her desk, he went to fill it with water. The only thing he could think to do when he saw someone losing liquids, was to give them more.

She took the glass and took large gulps of water. The cool liquid running down her throat. She couldn't believe just how dehydrated she felt. She wasn't even paying attention to how dry her mouth got. She felt so much better after the refreshment. Jane wondered how he knew that she was thirsty, or if he even knew. She didn't care, it was the thought that counted.

"So…" she trailed off. She had begun to speak, but words were missing. She knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't say it. Like, they had just floated away from her train of thought.

He glanced at her and flashed her a smile. His smiles were so charming, she couldn't help but to smile back. Then she turned her gaze to her glass. Moving the cup side to side and watching the water follow her movements.

Speak, she shouted at herself, say something.

"That cake you bought me on my birthday," she started, "it was my favorite. My mom would buy it for me."

"Really, I just thought all cake was the same," he chuckled.

"Turians don't buy cakes for birthdays?" She asked, finally taking the time to look at them.

"The only time we truly celebrate, is when we're old enough for the military, other than that, we don't acknowledge birthdays,"

"I thought every species celebrated their birthday,"

"I guess humans are special,"

She chuckled, taking another sip of her water, "you're special."

She spoke those words without thinking, and yet she truly meant it. Garrus was special to her. She loved him.

The room fell into silence again and she looked at Garrus through her peripheral. He was still smiling like the idiot he was, staring at the ground.

"I want to apologise again, Jane,"

"I do too," she said, "I honestly don't think I can't apologise enough for what I've done, or if you can even forgive me."

"I forgive you,"

"You shouldn't!" she snapped, "I was wrong!"

"I was too," he stated.

She surprised at how calm he was with the situation. Him keeping a level head made her deepen her breathing, and calm herself slightly.

"Is this a bad time to ask if you'd like to go out again?"

She chuckled and shook her head, "Are you sure you'd like to go out with me?"

"I'd love to, more than anything," he grasped her hand between his talons, "let's just stay far away from bars, okay?"

"Yeah,"

"So, I should go, huh?"

Her eyes shot up to his face, surprised, "No, why?"

"I've gotta clean up, and get back to work. Pls I'm starving. We can spend time together later, but for now, I think we need thinking room."

"Thinking room, sounds about right. Will you be back soon?"

"As soon as I can be, we've got mission to do, we can stress about our love life later, huh?"

"This isn't just you're way of trying to leave an ignore me is it?"

"I just asked you out on a date, I won't go anywhere,"

"Promise?" She held up her pinky.

"What is this for?" He said, glancing at her finger in confusing.

"A pinky promise, Garrus, wrap your pinky around mine so we can lock the promise."

He placed his smallest finger around her pinky, she took not of how his fingers felt when he wasn't wearing gloves.

"Let's promise to stay together, but to start fresh. Promise?" She asked.

"I promise."