Shit Happens - Chapter Ten

Helen sank into the couch, crying like she had not allowed herself to since the first rape. She knew she had been unreasonable to lash out at Nikki. It had not been her fault any of this and Helen needed her, but could not cope with being around her, she did not why. The alcohol she had bought sat untouched on the kitchen table. She was terrified that Nikki would go and do something stupid now, thinking she had no reason to be out of prison. What was worse, Helen did not know where to reach her. She doubted she would go back to the hostel yet, her curfew wasn't for another three hours yet.

Nikki walked up the steps reaching for the door as it opened. The supervisor greeted her sternly.

"I wondered when you'd show your face again. I think it would be better all round if you made alternative arrangements for accommodation, I'm sure your partner will be happy to put you up." The words were spat out with distaste at Nikki's 'choice' of lifestyle.

"When do you want me out by?" Nikki knew there was no point in arguing and she was in no mood to try. She did not see the point to any of it anymore. She didn't even care if she was locked away, never to be released if she could not spend her life with Helen.

"You can get your stuff together now. You've a few hours to find somewhere else." With that, the woman turned and strode up the stairs towards Nikki's room. Swallowing on a lump in her throat, Nikki followed. She had expected to be asked to leave, but was hoping she could stay the night. Under the careful scrutiny of the Fuhrer, Nikki collected together her few belongings throwing them into her holdall. When she had finished, she handed the key back to the supervisor and left.

Helen's heart leapt as the doorbell rang, hoping against hope that Nikki had decided to try and talk to her again. She practically ran to the front door and flung it open. Her face fell as she was greeted by two police officers.

"Miss Helen Stewart?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"We'd like you to accompany us to the station, please. You made a statement concerning an attack on yourself a few weeks ago and there are one or two details which need to be checked in light of recent newspaper stories." Helen was stunned into sobriety by this. Of all the consequences, she had neglected to consider this one. She grabbed her leather jacket and handbag and followed the officers out to the awaiting car.

Nikki wandered for a while longer, before finding a seat in a quiet park and contemplating what she would do. In an hour she would break her curfew unless she found somewhere to stay and notified the police. She could not go back to Helen's flat after the argument that afternoon and she had had no luck with the other hostels she had tried. She sat racking her brains for any other options. Monica? No, she wasn't allowed to associate with known criminals and whilst Monica was hardly a criminal mastermind and had been freed on appeal, she still had a record. Parents? Hardly, she had left home at 16 and had not spoken to or seen her parents since. It would be a bit much to expect them to help her out. Old friends? She was not sure how many of them would still be in the area or would be willing to help her. None of them had offered their services when she had needed character witnesses at her original trial. In the end as her curfew drew closer, she decided on the only option she had left. She stood to go, breathing deeply as though it was the last time she would taste fresh air for a long time.

Helen held her head in her hands. They had gone over what happened at least fifty times since they had brought her in, questioning every last detail of her statement. They had also made her describe in detail her relationship with Nikki, how it had begun, etc… Her head felt as though it was going to explode. The alcohol from earlier had well and truly worn off and left her feeling as though the world had come to an end inside her skull. Just as they decided that they were satisfied with her answers for the time being, there was a knock at the interview room door. A young officer stuck his head around the door and called for the senior detective interviewing Helen to step outside.

Nikki sat on the hard, narrow bench, listening to the familiar noises of keys turning and doors banging, people shouting and cursing the officers for doing their job. She leant back and cried, allowing herself to feel the pain of Helen rejection totally for the first time. She knew that they belonged together and had thought that Helen felt that way too. But Helen had run at the first sign of trouble. Nikki guessed that she had probably lied to save her bloody career too. 'You're just being petty now. Why would she have been home so early if she still had a job? And why would she need all that alcohol?' Nikki's thoughts turned to fears at the thought of Helen turning to drink to help her deal with the stresses of the past few months. 'Why won't she just let me in? Why does she always push me away when she needs me most? I need her too.' Lying on the bench, Nikki curled up into a ball closing her eyes against the cruel world. If only the police hadn't come along when they did, she would have been away from all this now. She hadn't understood when Monica had wanted to be dead instead of free, but now she more than understood, she shared the wish.

"Miss Stewart, I thin you should know we have Nicola Wade in custody." Helen's head snapped up as the detective re-entered the room and began speaking to her.

"Uh, what's she done now?" Helen feared that Nikki's temper had got the better of her after their fight and she had done something foolish.

"Two of my officers on patrol found her about to leap off Thames Bridge. It took them quite a while to talk her round actually. But she's safely tucked up in one of the cells now, until we can get her assessed." Helen felt her heart stop beating as she heard the news. She felt immediately sick and placed a hand over her mouth. A WPC was instructed to fetch her a cup of water. When she had regained her composure a little, she asked to see Nikki.

"I know I'm probably the last person in the world she wants to see right now, but I need to talk to her. If I can, I know she won't try anything like this again. Please, just for a short while?" Helen looked pleadingly at the detective, who looked back at her seemingly assessing whether he should allow this. He came down in favour of letting it go ahead. If she could snap Miss Wade out of this it would save him a lot of paperwork involving the duty psychiatrist.

"Alright, but if she starts acting up, I want you out of there."

Nikki did not even glance up as the cell door opened, although her eyes automatically flickered open. As so often had happened before the shapely figure of the Wing Governor, whom she adored, appeared silhouetted against the bright light in the corridor. Suddenly, Nikki bolted up into a sitting position.

"Helen!" Any more words were lost as she choked back her tears. Helen stepped nearer, crossing the boundary into her cell and she could see that her tears were equalled by those in Helen's eyes. No more words were need as they sat side by side on the bench holding one another as though their lives depended upon it.

Helen was the first to break their silence. "Nikki, I'm sooo sorry for the way I reacted earlier. I'd been drinking, I'd been sacked and it was just such a shock to find our perfect night spread all over the papers sounding so sordid. I didn't mean what I said about not wanting to see you. I didn't think," She was cut off by Nikki's harsh whisper.

"No, you never bloody do, do you Helen? No one else can feel anything, nobody else hurts except you. So far today, I've lost my home, my heart and my hope. So don't you dare sit there telling me what a hard day you've had!" Nikki went to turn away from Helen, but she was not allowed. Helen gripped arms tightly, forcing Nikki to look at her.

"I know I deserved that, but I'd rather we talk about it properly, like adults…at home. More than anything yesterday, I wanted to be able to walk out of that courthouse and take you home with me. If there's one thing this whole mess has made me realise, it's just how much I need you in my life. Since our last conversation, I've been thinking, I couldn't stop. And I realised the thought of you not being there terrified me far more than the fact that I have no job and don't have the first idea what is going to happen in the future. When the detective said you had tried to jump of a bridge, I thought I was going to die. To have come so close to not only losing you, but destroying you too…"

"It's not just us. I've been chucked out of the hostel as well. It just seemed like I had nothing left. Do you really mean what you said, about me coming home with you?"

"Of course. I love you and I never want to come that close to losing you ever again. Do you still want to be with me?"

"More than anything. I love you too, more than you'll ever know."

"Neither of us have anything to lose anymore. Lets just put the past behind us and start afresh. I'll go and speak to the police about letting you out of here. Seeing you in a cell has too many bad memories." With the lightest of kisses, Helen stood to go. She returned only a few minutes later with a police officer, grinning as she re-entered the cell.

"Well?"

"Just sign here please Miss Wade and you're free to go. We'll arrange for a car to take you home and we'll make the necessary arrangements regarding the curfew order and tag. We will need to speak to you again soon, with regards to your statement after the attack on Miss Stewart. Could we make it tomorrow when you bring your papers in?" Agreeing, Nikki signed on the dotted line and she walked out of the cell with her arm around Helen's waist to the waiting police car, walking to a new life.

To Be Continued…