A/N: Stephanie owns Twilight – I like to imagine what could have happened before the fall.
This is a real short chapter from Carlisle's POV. I wanted him to have a say before exploring Esme's time without Charles. Enjoy!
Chapter 8
"To have and to hold, until death do you part…"
CPOV
I stand in the very back of the church, unseen. I had heard she was getting married, but I had to see for myself. My cold, dead heart felt as though it was breaking but it's not like I can offer her the love that she needs…or deserves. I would gladly give her my devotion.
She is a vision today. Her white dress, so pure, so beautiful. My beautiful Esme…married, I thought as I swallowed my groan.
As soon as I heard of her pending marriage, I immediately made inquiries of the man in which she was betrothed. Charles Evenson. Clean record, but not good. Sometimes, you can just sense these things.
I can even tell she doesn't love him, but he seems to make her happy and I would give anything to see a smile on her face. I just wish that it was me with her and the minister. That I was the one she loved…that I was the one that made her happy.
Love. Happiness. Two words that seem distant to me now, but no two words were longed for by any other than by me. I wish I could find love and happiness.
As I watch her kiss Charles a feeling of jealousy sweeps through my dead body. I suddenly feel more alive than I should.
I slip silently through the doors to the church as I hear the preacher introduce the happy couple.
There it is again…Happy.
I need familiarity. I need someone to tell my story to…someone to confide in…someone who will understand what I am going through…someone who…
Is exactly like me…
Leaving the church yard that day, I vowed to myself that I would not be lonely any longer. If I couldn't find a wife, I would at least find an ally in this new world.
My steps came to a halt and I quickly looked back over my shoulder and watch her come out of the church with her new husband. I thought I felt a sliver of my frozen heart splinter and fall into the pit of my stomach. He better take good care of her, were my only thoughts. And then a smile crossed my face.
I will see you later, Esme. I will always watch over and care for you.
*****
The afternoon sun had just set as I made my way into my office at the hospital. Another night ahead of me and I was wondering what it would bring. Hmmm. Checking the charts I notice that several flu patients had been seen today.
That's interesting. Almost seems too early in the season for that many in one day.
A soft knock at my door interrupts my thoughts and I answer "Come in."
"Well, old man, how are things?" the familiar voice answers.
"Eleazar. Thanks for coming."
"Don't thank me yet, Carlisle…I have some disturbing news."
"Is…is she alright?"
The long dormant feeling on panic feels as though it will choke me and I tense for his answer.
Eleazar grabbed my shoulder as I stood. He recanted the story from the restaurant where he and a few acquaintances, one being a Mr. Bill Cline, were out for a night on the town while he was wrapping up some business near Columbus.
He will die slowly by my hands.
As a doctor I know that I am not supposed to TAKE life, but help to sustain it. But as the news of my Esme suffering reached me, I could barely contain myself.
"I knew it was her by the descriptions from you and Carmen both. She is lovely, Carlisle, but she is also human."
"I know, but my feelings for her remain, Eleazar. She has etched her beautiful spirit into my soul and although I know that I will not be able to be with her, I made a vow to myself to always protect her."
"Well, Charles is a brut, but something tells me that the fire that I saw in her eyes that night, well…that kind of fire will be hard for him to extinguish. She is very bright…a star, a sun. She will take no more than she can handle. Put your trust in that…she is strong."
I smiled smugly at him and patted him on the back, "Dear Eleazar, see? She impressed you as well!"
"I felt more love and compassion surrounding her than anyone else. Even more than you, Carlisle." Eleazar chuckled lightly.
"Just be enduring, Carlisle. If you two are meant to be, it will work out. Trust your intuitions – let them lead you."
As Eleazar filled me in on the news of Charles being sent overseas for the war, I couldn't help to think that Esme would be safe while he was gone. When, or if, he came back, I would have to check on her more often. I wanted to be sure that she continued to blossom into all that I knew she had potential in becoming.
Eleazar had called her a Star or Sun, but I knew he had it right. Compassion. Esme was brighter than us all and I would make sure she came out this shining as always.
A/N: A huge "thank you" to the reviews that I got from the previous chapters. You really make my day with your kind words! Also, a big sloppy wet smootchy to those that have been adding me and this story to your favorites.
I'll be working on Esme's married life sans husband over the next week or so. Be patient, be kind and leave me a review!