I suspect that I am the worst writer ever. I promise my beta to write a next chapter in a bout a week, and then i write it finally 5 months later. She probably thinks I'm not dedicated although i love this story to death. This took me i think 2 days because I kept gettin distracted, although if counting the time i use dot do it, it only took me 2 hours +

I didn't send this to my beta. I don't actually know if she still wants to beta for me. I guess if she reads this she'll tell me, or if anyone else wants to offer their assistance. I'm working on the next chapter right now becasue i thrive on reviews and i need some new ones. lol...but seriously, i really do want sasori back in Deidara's hands and only i can do that.

Deidara gets kinda stalkerish in this chapter.

Deidara: wait i do?

me: uh...could you shut up so i can finish my introduction.

Anywayz. It was really a review by 'jadedfox2' saying 'OMGWTFUPDATE-UBITCH! RAWRILUVUUPDATING KTHXBAI!' that got me back into writing. I kept telling my self these past months that i should write another chapter but i kept getting distracted by schoolwork,, although i should have managed to write for about 20 minutes every day or sumn. But a friend of mine came over and asked me on saturday how long had it been since i updated, and i was liek 'i don't know'...so i logged on, aw that review and smiled.

Well....enough of my sorry self..happy reading XD

Kakshi: welcome to the story

me: niiiiice

Deidara's POV

"Sori!!!!" Deidara cried out as he woke from his dreaming, soaking wet, sweat travelling down his slender body.

"Sori…" he repeated again, tears affecting the emotion in his voice. Three days….and the police hardly did much to ease his yearning heart. There were no leads, no witnesses, no suspects, and no previous cases like this. None here had ever gone through an ordeal this great. This school was supposed to be safe.

Safe?....that's what he wanted Sasori to be; Safe wherever he was.

His rugged red-headed lover had plagued his mind. But what else could be expected. The emotions that ran through him were so great he shuddered to think of a bad outcome. The nights of fantasies of Sasori seemed so long ago. The days when he wished that he had found an emotion this great and someone to share it with seemed like a days dream. He'd found something, and someone, and the most unfair gods had snatched him away. What was it that he had to do? What homage did he have to pay, to have his most wanted possession returned to him? Was he not made to love? Was he not allowed?

He threw his head back onto his pillow and turned to stare over at Sasori's bed. It was the same as it had been the day he was taken, slightly messy, but more or less well made. It still smelled of sasori he suspected. But how could he know for sure. Should he just reach over a take a quick whiff…purely to satisfy his curiosity of course.

Deidara slowly and hesitantly tore his sheet off him and whipped his bare legs over the edge of his bed. He sat still for a few moments, staring at the bed that tempted him, and mocked him. Little shine from the moon touched it, he suspected it would be cliché if the full moon sent its glowing presence fully over the bed. But what little milky light blanketed over it transformed the shabbily made bed into a beautiful masterpiece…an oasis for the yearning eye. Deidara's yearning blue eyes. How he would have loved to cuddle close to Sasori in this bed, his arms wrapped around him fully, possessively keeping him as his own. There he would feel safe. There that word was again….safe. The need for safety was so overwhelming it almost suffocated him.

"Sasori," were these the only words he could say? He had done as Kisame and Itachi had prescribed, put a feebily established front up for the student body to see, and then broke down within himself in their shared dorm room. The head of establishment had offered to move him to another room, but he couldn't bare being away from Sasori's bed, his scent, the paths he used to walk, or the bathroom he used to think of him in. Most of all he could not bare adapting to a new room mate. The only person he desired to adapt to was his boyfriend. Was that to great? His name on his tongue sorrowfully was sweet, even with the tears that accompanied them. The name would be even sweeter when accompanied with the face physically present.

Deidara slowly lifted himself from the bed and walked over to Sasori's, kneeling at the side of it. He pressed his nose against the sheet and breathed in slowly. The raw sent of his lover filled his nose. It was so potent, so fully Sasori.

Then the craziest thought settled itself into Deidara's mind and stayed there, refusing to be dislodged. He wanted to smell like Sasori, feel like him, feel what he felt when he used to sleep on his bed in the night. He would do it. He should be allowed.

The slender blonde walked into the bathroom and looked over to Sasori's mauve towel that was still on the rack. He would use that too. He entered the shower and closed his eyes, only thinking of what it would feel like to be surrounded by Sasori's smell all day. He almost felt obsessed, stalkerish, and maybe just a little perverted. But the key word was almost. His distracted mind rationalized that he should be allowed to really. He was like a wife in mourning over her husband's death. Just as she was entitled to her privacy in order to perform any weird rituals to remember him, so was he. Some people lit a candle, some people kept a picture, some people kept an item of clothing. Sasori wasn't gone indefinitely for all Deidara knew, and he wanted to feel the boy all over himself.

He scrubbed himself raw, trying his hardest to scrub away any of his remaining scent. They weren't allowed to mix until Sasori was back in his arms to forcefully mix them in ways only he could. He scrubbed his long blonde hair, wondering briefly if he should cut it. But then again, he wanted to look perfectly the same when Sasori returned. He wanted nothing to be different.

This was his longest and most thorough bath. The only smell that lingered was the generic smell of is unscented soap and shampoo. This was good. The process would begin now. He reached over quickly, not hesitating a second and wrapped Sasori's towel around himself, sighing deeply as the warmth touched him. Sasori's towel was absurdly soft. Who would have thought?

He slowly wiped himself dry, and used his own towel to dry his hair. It was ok if it smelled the same, but it made him wish that Sasori were here to run his fingers through it, He would even let him pass his wooden hand through it, even if Sasori couldn't feel it, he would know the sensation. Was this how you felt when you accepted every part of a person?

Sasori had both body spray and cologne on his dresser. Did he use them together, or on separate days? Did it matter really? Deidara was going to put on both anyway. He stood there in the dorm room infront of Sasori's dresser with his towel wrapped around his hips spraying the body spray in every area possible. Sasori would be back before this bottle finished. He would pray for that. Dei sprayed cologne on either side of his neck and on his wrists. This was the proper way it was done right?

He walked over to Sasori's closet and searched for a pair of boxers. They were clean. There was nothing to perverse in wearing them…..right?

Their were a black pair almost identical to the one he had been wearing just a moment ago, -before this whole process had started,- except it had a silver band instead of the plain black one that Deidara had. He slipped it on and enjoyed the cool feel of the fabric on his legs and wherever else it touched. He absentmindedly let the towel drop to the floor. The boxers were slightly too big, so they hung loosely on Deidara's hips, but tightly enough to avoid falling all together.

Deidara fixed his hair into one straight plait at the nape of his neck and looked over to the clock in the corner. It glared 6:30 at him. The day would start soon. But what did he care. He snuggled under the covers of Sasori's bed and breathed in deeply allowing the sent to wash over him, fill his nose, and take over him so completely, that he felt like he would lose his mind. How could so much pleasure just come from a simple scent.

His mind went blank, when he had had his fill of Sasori's –or just enough for that nigh, because how could he ever say that he had had enough- and he fell into a peaceful sleep, undisturbed by nightmares, dreams or anything of that sort.

XXX

"Blondie!!!!!" a harsh voice yelled

"Oh shut up Kisame, just open the door. You know you have the key," a calmer voice answered.

Deidara tried to battle against consciousness desperately. He wasn't ready to be awake yet.

'"Yes….but I would love to have the chance to wake that little nancy up. He had people worried," the gruff voice replied. Apparently agitated by the lack of access to the dorm room and a certain blonde's resistance to leave said room or open the door. But how could he go to the door when he was so wrapped up and tangled in Sasori's sheets. Not that he minded of course. HE was however losing the battle against full consciousness, and he minded that greatly.

"Attempt to be compassionate," another voice added in, "hey dickhead! Stop being such a bitch and come open the damn door, or else we're fucking coming in and we don't care if all your 'goodies' are in the open."

"So crude Hidan." The same calm voice replied. The battle against consciousness was officially lost. He identified the unidentified individual as Itachi and sighed heavily. Why did they have to drag him out into the muddy waters of this glum day.

Deidara lay still on the bed, a fresh waft of Sasori's sent filling his nose. This was the only good thing about being awake. Could he stay here until they found him his boyfriend. If the argument outside the door was any indication, then that train of thought was never going to come to fruition.

He heard the door open slowly, and he kept his eyes closed and his breathing even. Maybe if they continued to think that he was still sleeping they would leave him in peace.

"heh! I'm pretty sure you heard the ruckus outside just a moment ago, so I know you're not awake…just perving out in Sasori's bed," Kakuzu voice was highly definable, owing to the fact that he hadn't heard it in three days. After that comment, he wouldn't mind if he didn't hear if for an additional three days.

"I don't perv on my friends as much as you do un," Deidara said gruffly, his mouth feeling strange and dry. He had slept with his mouth open.

From the silence Deidara practically felt on his back, he knew he had one the small verbal spat between himself and Kakuzu. This was the end of his goading for now. Didn't he know it wasn't right to make jokes on Sasori when no one had an idea of where he was? The blonde suspected that Kakuzu was still sore with him about his comment referring to Hidan.

"Ok lady's….let's get to class," Itachi said, not making a move to touch Deidara.

"What!? Wait! You mean its only 9 o'clock un?" Deidara turned over, still clinging to Sasori's sheets, and opened his eyes. They stung, but he made no move to rub them as he didn't want to take his hands from the warmth he was cuddled in.

"Come back to for me at midday un," Deidara said sleepily, his eyes travelled over faces that tried their best to mask concern. Why couldn't their feelings show like his? He felt so useless. What could he offer Sasori? He couldn't keep a straight indifferent mask, a straight head, and he definitely could not run to his rescue.

He turned back over on the bed and cuddled closer together. He was truly pathetic.

Losing your love and your mind? What exactly are you worth?.....

What did he see in you? There is no strength here….

Too useless to try and help him…to soft to stay strong for him

Where is the courage he needs to believe you have so that he can survive this ordeal?

A tear fell silently down the side of Deidara's face. His thoughts mocked him ruthlessly. Was it right to beat himself up? It was his fault Sasori had been taken wasn't it? If Sasori hadn't been so wrapped up in…..him….then he would have been able to see his attackers and fight them off. He was a weakness. Sasori's weakness.

"Guys….leave," said Itachi's cold voice. His onyx eyes bore into Deidara's back. He blonde shuddered at the stare he felt on his neck. It was so cold.

The blonde could hear the feet shuffling noisily out the door; there was no arguing with Itachi's commands.

"Dei…"Itachi's voice had softened considerable. Deidara felt the boy's hand touch the back of his exposed shoulder, "laying here feeling sorry for yourself isn't doing Sasori any good."

"I know," Deidara chocked out, "Nothing I do here can help him out…..i just want to feel close to him un."

"Being strong IS helping him," The raven haired boy rubbed circles on the exposed skin his hand occupied, "Sasori doesn't want you to cry for him. He wants you to fight this sadness and remain the same boy he has feelings for."

Deidara turned to face Itachi. His onyx eyes were shimmering. Did that mean he too was holding back tears? He had never seen the boy show any emotion so clearly as he was doing now. His own crystal blue eyes were practically swimming with trapped tears. They burned from being held back so forcefully.

"It doesn't mean you can't cry Dei," Itachi pressed on, still staring Deidara straight in his face, "but don't make this change you. We are all afraid, but we can only hope for the best, and show everyone that life is still moving on."

As if taking these words as an invitation, Deidara's eyes let loose the tears they had been holding back. Was this okay? Could he distract himself from his lover? Should he? How could he sit by and do nothing?

"But I want to do something Tachi…"

"Well make me a deal then."

"Anything," was that right to say? He had no idea what Itachi would ask of him. But he had no reason why he shouldn't trust the boy. Sasori trusted him didn't he? And he had done nothing but remain helpful and loyal to him and the others since they had met hadn't he. Deidara wasn't scared of whatever deal Itachi would offer. There obviously would be nothing dangerous or hurtful involved.

"First we work on our little project…get your mind together you know? Drag you from the rubble of the wreck your dwelling in now….Then we work on finding our red-head on our own," Itachi threw him a half smile, the tears swimming in his eyes had somehow dried up without falling, "you'll see how dedicated we are when we have a goal. And this time we have two."

So this was what the distraction was for. To save him from himself and his depressive thoughts. This deal seemed ok. How long would it take to make Hidan and Kakuzu realize their feelings for each other; a week? A week and a half tops? He was sure that his boyfriend could hold out until then. He was strong. He had to trust that Sasori was strong and that he could take anything. Also, his boyfriend wasn't being completely left alone. While he worked on the oblivious lovebirds in his group of strange friends, the police would be looking for his boyfriend. This was hardly a comfort, seeing as they were depressively incompetent, but it was comfort enough to have him hoist himself from Sasori's bed, forgetting for a moment that he was wearing Sasori's boxers low on his hips. How could he apologize to Itachi for that sight.

Red flushed the pale cheeks of Deidara's face as he grabbed the towel on the floor and covered himself up quickly. His apology was rushed, disjointed and full of unnecessary stuttering.

"I am so sorry Itachi," He managed to say, or make sounds akin to those words, "I forgot that these hung this low." His blushed deepened with every word.

Oddly enough, Itachi made an odd chuckling noise. Laughter?

"It's very much ok Dei," his face was expressionless once again, his eyes almost glazed over with cold indifference, "I've seen Sasori in that pair of boxers many times when he used to sleep over, and I very much prefer to watch half naked blue boys," there was a smile again and then a steel face.

Would he ever get fully accustomed to Itachi's face? The way he made it look as though he were bored with everyone, while simultaneously making it look harsh and uninviting was so unnerving.

"Get dressed…..now," His voice now matched his face. He walked over to the door then slowly turned to look at Deidara, "don't expect this level of compassion often….it's not common."

"Understood Tachi!" Deidara let a wide grin cover his face, and made his way to his closet while Itachi left the room. He'd been asleep for less than three hours, so he really couldn't see the point in bathing again. He still felt as clean as he had when he had left the shower this morning, and he still smelled strongly of Sasori.

He pulled on a pair of grey jeans that were ripped at the knee, and his white school dress shirt. He undid the plait at the back of his hair, did it into a pony tail with his regular fringe in the front. Sasori loved his hair like this, although it made him look more like a girl. Oh well he didn't mind that so much anymore. He kissed the ring on his finger and rubbed it softly.

'Sori I wish you could feel this on your cheek', he thought to himself. But he couldn't dwell on the pain. He had a deal with Itachi and as soon as he honored his end of the agreement, he was sure that Itachi would do what he had to do.

XXX

Art class had been strangely more eventful that expected. Kakashi had been late for class, although he had been making it a habit of late to arrive on time. Maybe he and Iruka had been comforting each other. Disturbing thoughts. For the first time since Sasori had gone missing someone had gathered up the courage from their distended balls to insult and tease Deidara about his hands. Before the boy had had a chance to take the situation into consideration, and ready himself emotionally and mentally to deal with the ridicule the whole art class had jumped on the boy's back, making him feel smaller than he ever had.

The very embarrassed boy was made to apologize to Deidara in front of the class and then call his own self a freak, and proclaim that he only tried to degrade people because he was worthless and couldn't be half as great as Deidara. During the whole ordeal the blonde had just blushed, half of him wishing that Sasori had been here to see this, the other half painfully yearning for Sasori's nearness. Kissing his ring however seemed to be working as a remedy for calming his nerves.

When Kakshi had walked into the room, conspicuously wearing a very loud green scarf around his neck, he was greeted with the 'run-down' of what had taken place. Kakshi of course could not miss out on the fun and made the boy repeat his speech again. The silver haired teacher winked at Deidara and softly apologized if all the attention had bothered or embarrassed the boy.

The real work started toward the end of the class when Itachi swiftly passed notes to Deidara. He passed them so quickly you could hardly notice what was going on.

Overall, the plan was to meet up with Hidan in the hallway before he went to his agriculture class. If the talk went longer than expected then Setsu would make notes for him. The boy was strange, but I suppose trustworthy enough to take down proper notes is Itachi had mentioned it.

XXX

"Hey Hidan," Deidara called out cheerfully, moving quickly down the hall to be at his side.

"You look better than this morning," Hidan answered, slowing his pace so that Deidara could meet up with him, "I'm sorry about what Sakura did to you. She was just being a bitch."

"I think that's an understatement un," the blonde answered, rubbing his hands together obviously enough that hidan say the action.

"It was a secret that had to be let out any way un," he continued, "I couldn't hide it from Sasori or you guys anymore." Sasori…the name was still magic on his tongue, but a pinch to his heart. Bitter/sweat?

"Yeh…sort of like Sakura's shit," It seemed like the boy didn't want to out right say that she was abusive and power hungry. Supposedly it gave her status to beat Hidan into love struck submission. Was he that powerful before?

"And it was Kakuzu who noticed the first signs of her…..shit?" He would censor abuse out of his words as well. Anything to make Hidan comfortable during this conversation was in play.

"Yeh…he sees..every fucking thing about me," Did this bother Hidan, "excuse my cuss words Dei, I do appreciate him." Had he made a bad face at his words? Well he should have known that it was just Hidan's nature to be so profane.

"It's ok…that's your nature un," He smiled widely at Hidan, "I bet Kakuzu doesn't mind it."

"naw…he's very supportive."

Couldn't Hidan see it? The depth of affection Kakuzu held for him. Was he also blind of he admiration he had for his best friend. There was something there, that neither one wanted to address. Was it that Taboo?

"What's your sexuality?" Deidara managed to ask, after some silence. They'd gone down a flight of steps and were under the stairs, hidden from searching eyes. Anyone's searching eyes. This was a private question.

"I don't think I freaking have one really," surprising.

"What do you mean un?"

"Well I'm more concerned with being loved and accepted by my partner, that what sex my partner is," as if taking Deidara's silence as an insult to his claim he continued, "Kakuzu feels the same fucking way so there is nothing wrong with it."

Using Kakuzu to validate his thoughts on something? Really? Could they really not see that they were meant to be with each other. NO one would hold them back, and they could both return to the powerhouse status that they once kept. Sure they didn't care so much about it if they had let this happen, but everyone was tired of seeing Kakuzu alone and Hidan used.

"So if a boy fit that decription….would you date him un?"

"yeh."

"If your best friend fit that description, would you date him un?"

"Whoa Dei…I love you and all,. And I know you're going through a hard time with Sasori missing and everything, but don't misplace your emotions on me…I know you two are so into each other…makes me jealous really."

"what!" 'I'll just go and raise the red flag right about now,' Deidara thought, "I wasn't talking about myself un."

"Oh then I feel like a fucking Jackass for saying that."

"But aww…you consider me one of your best friends un," Deidara smiled at the boy, " I like that."

"Well you are very understanding. You tolerate all my shit," he flashed Deidara a smile. He had a beautiful smile really, but you could see how one could be afraid of it. It had the power to strike fear into a human if used correctly.

"Who were you talking about then," he continued, as if just remembering that Deidara had mentioned that the one to love him might be his best friend.

"Who do you think un?" Deidara lowered his head and loked at Hidan up through his lashes, "who loves you so unconditionally un? Who do you know can't exist without you un?"

Realization dawned on his face. His cheeks were pinking just a little bit, but he took control of his motions quickly, and pulled the blush back.

"No you can't mean…well…..it..not like that," he tried to say, failing completely in convincing Deidara that there was no change of a relationship between he and Kakuzu.

"He knows you inside and out un," Deidara balanced on his heel for a second then looked over his shoulder and then looked back at Hidan, " he accepts you for everything that you are."

While Hidan's mouth was attempting to for coherent words Deidara turned out from under the staircase, into another hall and walked over to Sai. He was perfect for keeping the mood light. They had been texting and calling each other of late, but how many times could he really say that he had hung out face to face with his best friend. His best friend as in, one that didn't belong to both he and Sasori. Time to show his boy some love.

He flew his arm around Sai's shoulder. Let zetsu take care of the class notes. Surprisingly Sai pulled Deidara closer to him by his waist and attempted his half smile. It had become even more normal looking since he and his boyfriend had become official. At this moment, he knew that he had friends who were trying their best to help him through this ordeal. And he knew deep within himself that Sasori would return to him soon.

I told you Deidara had gone a lil stalkerish, but what can you expect...his boyfriend has been missing for a while. Most people would have assumed that he was dead by now. hmm...im not applying that knowledge to this think. no one thinks he's then again there is no reason to believe that he is so yay.

hmph...well well well Hidan....don't you have some things to think about...especially when you find out that Sakura plays a bigger role in this than you think.

Kakashi: shush..don't ruin tings for them

Fine i won't say...you'll just find out. Well...next chapter will be Sasori's POV, since we haven't heard from him much in a while. Poor thing

Well leave a review just cuz you can. leave one giving suggestions for this story. Leave one giving tips on how to stay focussed on writing. anything...just review..i love them and they encourage me.

When i just started out i used to get more reviews..but i suppose thats because i used to update more often...oh wellz i'll try my best. I'lll try to get the lovers back together in about 3+ chapters...wonder how long it will take. depends on how long i make the chapters really.

BAI!!!! Cookies if any of my old reviewers review XD