I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY… THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR WHY I HAVENT POSTED IN SO LONG. I HAVE JUST BEEN REALLY UNINSPIRED AND ITS BEEN BAD… I HATE WRITERS BLOCK… BUT ANYWHO HERE IS CHAPTER 10!!! HOPE U LIKE IT…

EPOV

As I waited for someone to answer the door I was suddenly struck with nerves. I didn't know how Bella was going to like our "first date" and the thought terrified me. I don't know why but it did. I wanted everything to be perfect for her, for us. But I also know that life isn't perfect. I had to come clean with my love about my past and about my parents. It was a hard subject to talk about but it had to be done. If she trusted me with her secrets then I should offer her the same courtesy. My stomach was a huge knot as I was about to knock again and then she answered the door. She was so beautiful that my nerves went right out the window and instead my body was replaced with a sense of warmth, compassion, and above all love. Love for the most beautiful creature on God's green earth. She was wearing the most beautiful green gown that I had ever seen and her hair was pinned up in an elegant twist. Her face was adorned with the most beautiful make up, slight shades of green danced along her eyelids; on her ears she wore a simple pair of diamond studs. She was simply… beautiful.

"Edward, are you alright?" I hadn't realized I was staring. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize that I had gone comatose." At that she let out a giggle. I offered my arm to her and said, "Now fair Bella, it is time for us to be off" she grabbed my arm and we started walking towards the front of her building and as we turned the corner I looked back at Rosalie and Alice who were both beaming with smiles and offering a big thumbs up. I smiled back at them and then turned my attentions toward the beautiful woman on my arm. She gasped in shock as she saw the limo that was waiting for us. I figured if I was gonna do this right then I might as well do it in style. "Edward you didn't have to do this. A car would have been just fine." "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, just relax and go with it, enjoy this night my love, you deserve it."

I had some trouble trying to figure out what to do on our date so I enlisted the help of Rosalie and Alice. I told them what I wanted and boy did they deliver. We arrived at a hotel by the name of the Biltmore. It was on the beach and it was beautiful. As we walked inside I led Bella to the restaurant that was to the left. It was beautiful and elegant and I'm sure that it was expensive. But I didn't care; I would spend my entire fortune on my Bella without as much as thought. I would rather be poor as a church mouse and happy with the woman I love then to be rich and alone. During dinner I excused myself for a few seconds to handle arrangements for the second part of our date. When I returned I was bombarded with twenty-one questions, but I refused to give anything away. I wanted this night to perfect.

Through the rest of dinner we made small talk and every time she laughed, smiled, made that funny little furrow with her brow, I fell even more in love with this beautiful woman. We finished our desert and she asked, "so what now?" my stomach was in knots at the question but I stood up and grabbed her hand and said, "Follow me." I led her out of the restaurant and outside to a path that led to our final destination. I was so nervous that I couldn't even talk, then the path ended and I thought I was going to pass out. I turned and looked at my beautiful Bella and said, "Bella I have been falling in love with you since the first day that I saw you walking past my house. We have shared our ups and downs and gotten to know each other more than I think I've gotten to know anyone. However I don't think that we have spent a complete day with just the two of us. So if you want to we can stay the night here, just the two of us." She took the keys from my hand, gave me a kiss, and unlocked the door. Then she grabbed my hand and led me through the living room and straight into the bedroom. We started kissing and things started to escalate rather quickly. As much as I hated it, I had to stop what was going on.

"Bella darling, why don't we slow down? We have all night and I don't want to rush."

"But Edward, I'm tired of waiting, I want this."

"I want this to baby, more than you know, but I think that we need to talk first. Rosalie packed you a bag with some overnight clothes so why don't you get comfortable and we can go down to the beach ok?"

"Alright, Edward are you ok?"

"I'm fine, just got a lot on my mind. Go get changed, I'll meet you in the living room."

With that she gave me a kiss, grabbed her bag, and headed to the bathroom. With a sigh of relief I grabbed my bag and changed quickly and headed into the living room. I didn't think that she could look more beautiful then she did when she was in that gown, I was very happily mistaken, she looked breathtaking in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt with her hair thrown up in a bun. I grabbed her hand and we made our way out to the beach. We found some steps that led down to the sand and decided that it would be a nice place to listen to the waves. I didn't know how to start this conversation so I just went straight into it.

"Bella, I have something that I need to tell you. This isn't something that I like to talk about but I owe it to you. Please don't say anything until I'm done, it's just easier if I get it all out at once."

"Ok Edward"

She grabbed my hand in hers and I don't think she knew how much that meant to me. It gave me the courage to say what I needed to say.

"Growing up I always thought that I had the perfect family. My mother was beautiful and my dad was successful. I always had everything that I wanted and to put it mildly I was spoiled. I loved my parents more than anything. As I got older I started to realize that things weren't as perfect as I had once thought. My dad started to spend less and less time at home and my mother got into a nasty drinking habit. She was always there when I needed her but most of the time she was drunk. Then I can remember when I was about 12 or 13 I had gotten a low grade in one of my classes and my dad was mad. It was the maddest I had ever seen him. He started to yell at me and when I went to speak he hit me. It was from that day on that I didn't trust my dad. It progressively got worse and worse and then when I was 16 I had had enough. My mother was crying and I was trying to consol her. She said that her and my father were getting a divorce because she couldn't stand what he was doing to me anymore and then I should have caught this but I didn't think anything of it at the time, she said, "I can't stand myself for letting him do this to you my Edward. Please don't grow up to be like your father, you can be a better parent then we were to you. We have both failed you Edward." I tried to get her to calm down and she said that she would be fine. When my dad walked in he started to go off on both of us, but my mom finally stood up for me and told my dad that he would never hurt me again. She told me to go to Emmett's house and stay the night there so I did what I was told. I had half of his closet to myself since I was over there constantly so I didn't bother with any clothes. As I left I gave my mom a hug and a kiss and she told me she loved me. I walked past my dad without a word and headed over to my best friend's house. Then about three hours later the sheriff came to find me at Emmett's, he told me… well he said that my parents were… my mom…"

I couldn't finish what I was about to say. It was hard to relive those painful memories but I knew I had to get through it. I could feel the lump in my throat start to rise and there was nothing that I could do to stop the sobs that escaped my mouth. The tears streamed down my cheeks and would not stop. Not until my Bella started to wipe away the tears with her thumbs. She looked me dead in the eyes and said,

"Edward you can tell me what happened, no judgment remember, there is nothing you can't tell me."

"My mother and my father got into an argument when I left and it got so bad that my mom shot my dad. She killed him, and then she shot herself. If I would have known then that that was going to be the last time I was going to see my parents then I would have done things different, I would have been different. If only I would have known, if I could have done something. It was my entire fault and I wish that I could take it back but I can't. I have to live with this every day of my life and I can't change any of it. I let my parents die"

I couldn't take it anymore, I cried like I never cried before. I just let go of all the feelings, all the sadness and the guilt, it came streaming out of my eyes like a river that couldn't be stopped. Bella wrapped her arms around me and let me cry, and cry I did. I sobbed like a baby while she rubbed my back and when I finally looked at her she said,

"Edward, you are not your parents. I am not your mother and you are not your father. You didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand me Edward? You didn't do ANYTHING wrong." I nodded in agreement with her and felt instantly calm. "Edward I want you to listen to what I'm going to tell you, look at me when I tell you this" I looked at her and saw the tears start to well up in her eyes but I kept my eyes fixated on hers. When she knew that I wasn't going to look away she continued, "I love you Edward, I love everything about you. I love your beautiful smile, the way you purse your lips when you cook, and when I go to sleep at night I want you next to me. I want you around all the time and when we are apart I wear your sweatshirt so I can still smell you. I never thought that I would meet someone who is loving, kind, caring, compassionate, beautiful, wonderful, giving, and simply amazing. Edward, I have been waiting my entire life to meet someone like you and right before I met you I had finally come to terms with the fact that I might spend the rest of my life alone. But then something tragic and wonderful happened. You moved in around the corner and when I first saw you I knew that I wanted to get to know you, that was the beautiful part. Then when I got attacked and you saved me, that was the tragic part, but it brought you to me. It's the reason that we met and believe it or not I am actually grateful that I was attacked. I can't imagine not having you in my life Edward and if there is one thing that I have learned in my life it's that you have to take the good with the bad. Everyone has faults, but it's the faults that you have to learn to love, I love you because of the imperfections, not the perfections. Whatever you need from me you have it. You are the best thing in my life and I'm not giving you up. I'm sorry about what happened with your parents Edward but you need to know that it isn't your fault. You are better than that and you and I will have a great life together. I love you."

After that we held each other and cried for a little while. I didn't know how I was lucky enough to meet such an amazing woman. She was everything that I had always wanted and tonight confirmed that I can never let her go. She accepted me one hundred percent for who I was. I loved this woman with all that I had in me and I knew that one day she was going to be my wife. The question was, when would I ask her to marry me?

SO… WHATCHA THINK??? I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK… IN OTHER WORDS REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW… HAVE A WONDERFUL AND BLESSED DAY… OH AND P.S. IRIS, IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG… TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND AND YOU ARE MOST OF THE REASON I FEEL SO GUILTY… HOPE THIS CHAPTER MAKES UP FOR ME BEING M.I.A. :)

XOXOXO

DSMRM2023