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"You kissed Damon last night!" Elena gasped as she and I sat at the school lunch table the next day.

"Well technically he kissed me…it was really weird…I'm not sure if I actually dreamed it or not", I frowned.

Elena shook her head, "Well what brought it on?"

"I don't know…I was having a nightmare about the tomb and then suddenly he was there…he was making me feel better and the next thing I know, he was kissing me".

"I don't know Bonnie…Damon has been obsessed with Katherine for over 100 years and she's back in town…things are just…"

"I know, they are confusing as hell…the kiss was weird".

"Well…did you like it?" Elena smiled raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know…it was too weird to even think about liking it", I shrugged, "but I know that things will start to get weirder now that I have to go home and face him".

"Well you could always stay with me".

"Elena, you have a doppelganger running around…I don't know if that's the best thing…anyone could let Katherine into your house…Jeremy…Jenna…anyone".

"I know…ok…soo maybe I should stay with you…be a buffer".

I frowned…after last night when I fed on Mike, I wasn't too sure I wanted Elena around when I got hungry. She wouldn't recognize me…I barely recognize myself.

"I will be ok…I can deal with Damon, he knows that I could set him on fire if I wanted to", I winked.

Elena giggled, "I know you could".

"You guys are hiding something from me!" Caroline declared as she plopped down at the table.

Elena and I exchanged looks, "Caroline, we are not hiding anything from you".

"Are you kidding me…one day you're on your death bed and the next you're fine and out of the hospital…nothing about that makes sense and you've been spending a lot of time at the Salvatore house and unless you, Elena and Stefan have some freaky ménage trios going on… something is definitely going on".

"Nothing is going on Caroline, I promise", I replied touching her arm and looking directly into her eyes.

"Then why are you spending soo much time at the Salvatore house?" she challenged me with crossed arms.

I looked at Elena, "Because they were helping me with my…gift…I lost my way for a bit after the whole Emily thing and they helped me".

"They?" Caroline raised an eyebrow, "does that include that jerk Damon…please don't tell me you befriended him too".

"Caroline…"

"I can't believe you two…he lied to me for weeks and used me and you two are friends with him, Elena…I get that you're tied to him through Stefan…but Bonnie, why you…why do you want to be his friend?"

"It's complicated", I answered.

"Complicated…I don't understand how…as time goes on, I'm starting to believe that the Salvatores mean more to you two than our friendship does!" Caroline snapped as she got up from the table and marched out of the cafeteria.

"It's ok Bonnie, she's just upset".

"She's right though", I said biting back tears.

"Bonnie…don't do it…you're going through a lot right now, you can't take on everyone else's feelings right now and remember what Grams said, you are very emotional right now and your powers are affected by that".

"You're right…and I'm actually starting to feel a little better, the witch side of me still outweighs the vampire side and that's a little better".

"That's great!" Elena grinned, "Bonnie, Stefan is a great guy…you know that, things don't have to be bad".

"Elena…this is not a fairy tale book when I glitter in the sunlight and people are dying to become just like me…I'm coping, but this isn't fun for me".

"But I want it to be ok for you…I told Damon to give you that blood".

"I know and you just wanted to save me and I am grateful that you cared about me that much to do that…but this isn't easy and I can't lie anymore and act like it is…but it will get better, I am positive about that".

"If you need to talk…just let me know…don't bottle up everything, please?" Elena pleaded.

"I won't…I promise", I nodded.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

After school Elena accompanied me to Grams' house. She was teaching me how to balance my powers and try to come to grips with the fact that I was juggling too different sides. It was starting to become easier, but I don't think I would ever be able to handle all of the emotions that I had going on. In addition, there is something nagging at me about my nightmare last night. I have to admit after Damon kissed me, I didn't have another nightmare; but there was an uneasy feeling inside of me that told me that wasn't just a nightmare.

After parking my car, Elena and I walked towards the front door of Grams house. When I placed my hand on the doorknob after turning my key in the lock, I felt my body go ice cold. I paused for a moment as I closed my eyes.

"Bonnie, what's wrong?" Elena asked beside me.

I opened my eyes and that's when I saw the flash. My Grams' house was a mess inside and I could see the red on the floor.

"Grams!" I yelled as I flung the door open and stood in the foyer.

Tables were overturned, books and papers were everywhere and I could smell the blood.

"Grams!" I said as I felt the tears appear in my eyes as I looked in the mirror and saw the wall behind me.

"Bonnie", Elena said with a shaky voice.

I ran over to the side of the couch and saw Grams lying on the floor with blood surrounding her.

"Grams…Grams!" I called as rushed over to her. I could vaguely hear Elena on the phone shouting at someone.

I bit into my wrist and allowed my blood to freely flow into her mouth, "Grams…come on…wake up please…please!" I pleaded holding her, "Grams come on".

I held my wrist up to her mouth as my blood flowed out.

I jumped up and started searching for the books…the spell books…I can bring her back, I know I can.

"Elena…I need to find the book…I can bring her back…I can!" I pleaded as Elena held onto me.

"Bonnie", she said, "the paramedics are on their way…but…"

"Help me find the spell book…please help me", I cried as I felt Elena let me go and I fought to get back over to Grams, but was stopped by someone else grabbing me from behind.

"She's gone", he whispered in my ear.

"No…no…I can't save her because I'm a hybrid…but you can…Damon , save her…", I pleaded and then turned to Stefan, "Stefan…save her…please…please".

"Bonnie, there's nothing we can do", Damon said holding me around my waist.

I shook my head as I turned around to look into Damon's eyes and then I turned around to see the wall. Stefan was already looking at it along with Elena who held her hand over her mouth. I stood staring at the message…the message to me, "YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME UP ON MY OFFER" was written in blood staring back at me.

That's when I gave up…Damon had to catch me or I would have hit the floor. Grams was dead because of me.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Elena and Stefan stayed at Grams house trying to clean some of it up while Damon brought me back to my house. The plan (or from what I heard) was to clean the blood up as much as they could and say that there was an animal attack. Yes, that was partially true. I hadn't spoken since I saw the message and I could tell that everyone was waiting for me to explode. I wasn't quite sure why I hadn't yet. As we drove to my house, Damon kept watching me out of the corner of his eye.

As soon as we entered my house, I took out my cell.

"Who are you calling?" Damon asked.

"My dad…I…uh…have to call him", I said trying to remember how my cell worked in the first place.

Damon took the cell phone out of my hands, "Your dad can wait…tell me what you're feeling".

I shook my head, "I'm not feeling anything".

"Bonnie, I know we're not the best of friends but you can talk to me".

I looked at him, "Damon…this was my fault".

"It was not your fault".

"If I would have just told Katherine that I would work with her or even killed her when I had the chance, Grams would still be alive".

"You can not blame yourself for Katherine being a psycho".

"My Grams is dead…she was the only person in this world that helped me understand that I could do this…that I could be ok…that I could make this work", I said wiping my eyes.

"You can make it work…I can help you", he said.

For some reason I felt a heat come over me as I walked away from him and leaned against the counter closing my eyes, "You know…I've been going over and over in my head how all of this happened…how did I end up here…how did things end up soo messed up and I keep coming up with one answer…Damon Salvatore", I replied turning to him, "my powers as a witch didn't start to make themselves known until you and Stefan appeared in town…if you hadn't been around, I would have died and my Grams would still be alive and you know what, I think I would have been happier dead…you have only caused heartache in my life…that is all that you've ever done and I've been fooling myself into believing that you are some great guy…but you're a vampire and you only care about yourself…so I have to wonder, what's in this for you…do you think that if we become best friends that I will help you continue to be the ass that you've always been…I mean, vampires always want witches in their back pockets…so what do you want Damon…what do you want from me?" I asked walking closer to him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked staring down at me, "I know that I've done some pretty bad things here…but you can never accuse me of using you since you turned…in fact, I defended you last night when Katherine asked me about you…"

I looked up at him, "You saw Katherine last night?"

Damon closed his eyes momentarily because he knew he said the wrong thing.

"What happened when you saw Katherine?"

Damon sighed, "She wanted to catch up on old times…"

"You're lying!" I yelled, "what did she say to you!"

"I don't need to answer this", Damon said turning to walk away.

I looked over at a statute on the bookshelf and made it fly towards Damon pinning him against the wall, "What did she say to you?" I asked again through clenched teeth.

"She accused me of wanting you…she accused me of turning you on purpose so that she and I could rule the world!" he yelled as he attempted to pull the statute out of the wall.

"And what else…I feel something else went on?"

"She told me to stake her because she wasn't leaving!"

I felt my fangs descend and my vision go blurry, "What…she told you to stake her and you didn't? You let her get away, you allowed her to live another day to kill my Grams!"

Damon got the statute out of the wall and dropped to the floor, "I didn't think that she would do that!"

"Why didn't you…you were the one who claimed to know how she operates…you said that…and you didn't think that she would come after me or someone I loved, especially if she believed that I was taking you away from her!"

"She said that she would ruin me and my brother, she never said anything about killing anyone associated with you".

"You are a fool!" I shrieked as I ran over to him, raised my hand to slap him and he immediately grabbed my wrist.

"Listen to me", he said.

"I'm done listening to you, you've been keeping me like some kind of zombie this whole time…maybe you are working with Katherine, maybe this is a plan to get me to be your puppet…it's all making sense now", I said as my mind raced.

Damon's eyes turned red and I saw his fangs descend as he pushed me into a wall with great force sending all of the pics to the floor, "Do you think that I wanted this…do you think that I would turn you into a vampire because of some bitch that I didn't know was even free until a couple of years ago…do you think that I would turn you into one of the most powerful beings walking the earth...I would have never done any of this on purpose…never!"

"Get off of me!" I snarled.

"Not until you calm down!"

"I can kill you right now…I could set this house on fire".

"Do it!" he challenged me looking directly into my eyes daring me.

"I hate you!" I spat out at him.

"Right now…the feelings mutual", he spat back.

We looked at each other for a moment and then my body began heating up and I couldn't stop myself, Damon and I crashed into each other with a searing kiss. I don't know where it came from and I didn't care…he pushed me into the wall and I could feel the humming in my body go full volume. He pulled my shirt over my head as I ripped his off and started unbuckling his belt as he worked my pants down. He lifted me up against the wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could see things flying around the house, but I was too concerned about what was happening with Damon. I could feel him kissing my neck and then I felt a prick.

"Sorry", he breathed out harshly.

"It's ok".

He then licked the trickle of blood that escaped the wound, "You're blood…" he began.

"What?" I asked breathlessly.

"It's sweet…like…it hasn't changed".

I pushed him off of me and he fell to the floor, I straddled him, "Then let's see if there are any more sweet parts of me left…I doubt it".

Damon flipped me over so that he was on top of me, "I'm willing to see", as he bit down harder on my neck and I grabbed on to him with wide eyes as we began to have the most mindblowing, depraved sex right there on my living room floor and frankly…I didn't care if it was bad…I wanted it.