"Stop," she laughed in the rental car passenger seat, with Jason in his ski mask seated behind the wheel three hours later. The radio blared a hard rock song of the singers screaming the lyrics. Jason belted out the indecipherable words, completely making up crazy lyrics, and he half headbanged just enough to not crash the car. The distinguished Dr. Port looked completely ridiculous and sounded even worse. "And she ate the barbecue chips! All over her lips! Grill me some hot dogs, babyyyyy!" he belted out, trying to reach the high notes. His voice cracked on the last word.
Grabbing her stomach, she had to cross her legs as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Stop," she wheezed. "Seriously, stop." She doubled over laughing and had to hold between her legs.
He belly laughed and turned down the radio. "Do you need a restroom?"
She held a hand to her mouth and doubled over, nodding because she couldn't breathe enough to speak.
"I think we're in the middle of nowhere. It's the outback, baby!" he cried and grabbed the steeringwheel like the end of the world had come.
Wracked by another fit of laughter at his insanity, she squirmed in her seat. "Oh god, pull over!" she wheezed, seriously fighting to not wet herself. Her stomach muscles even hurt from laughing so much. "You're a lunatic."
He laughed and turned on the blinker. "Here's a fastfood place."
As soon as the car stopped, she bolted out and ran to the building with tears of laughter still running down her cheeks. His chuckle followed.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, he stood with a shoulder against a wall and wore his plastic mask. He had left his coat in the car and stuck his hands in his pockets and his ankles were crossed. The white dress shirt pulled tight across his shoulders. His poor eye was quite a shiner, as was his jaw. Somehow the bruises and a split lip only added to his rugged, rich, sexy look, though, giving an aire of a bad boy. A couple women in the mostly deserted restaurant watched him with some interest. His gaze, however, remained on her.
She flushed and walked over and stopped before him. "Does your face hurt?" Reaching up, she stroked his cheek.
"Not much. The other side looks worse, but I can't feel that side much. It's just the swelling that is uncomfortable, but I figured I shouldn't wear a black ski mask into a rural restaurant that has cash." He cracked a smile.
She laughed. "But we would get escort service in a police car, with just a detour to jail for planned robbery. Have a wild side, Jason."
He smiled. "I've already done the cop car ride, thank you. Are you hungry for lunch while we're here?" He pushed away from the wall and pulled out his wallet.
"I can do lunch. I just have to get my purse out of the car." She held out her hand for the keys.
With a smile, he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the counter. "The lady doesn't buy the food."
She pulled her hand away and crossed her arms over her chest. "This is the twenty first century."
"Thank God for that." He smiled and pulled her close. "Because we're going to Florida and bikinis are very well accepted these days."
Her eyes widened. "I'm not wearing a bikini in front of everyone."
He cocked an eyebrow. "I didn't say anything about you wearing it for anyone else. I'd have to beat the men off you." Then he gave a mischevious smile. "But alone in our hotel room..." His smile grew and his hand slipped inside her open parka and stroked up and down her back. "New wife of mine," he purred, his voice husky.
A shiver of dark pleasure skittered up her spine, and she dropped her eyes with a shy smile. "No. There's not much difference between a bikini and underclothes."
With a smile, he pecked a kiss on her lips. "It was worth asking. Alright, what would you like for lunch?" He offered his arm and led her up to the counter as he looked up at the menu. "And do you want a shake?"
Her eyes happened to land on the teenage boy taking orders at the counter while Jason talked. The kid stared at him with a gaping mouth. Great. Jason didn't need this.
"Emma?"
Her eyes whipped up to him. "Sorry. I'll have the reuben and a strawberry shake."
His shoulders sagged a little. "Oh, a reuben sounds grand," he sighed with longing.
It was one of the few times he'd slipped into European slang. She smiled. "So get one. It's easy enough to cut up," she said in soft tones so no one overheard.
He hesitated.
She stepped forward quick to distract the kid from Jason before Jason noticed. "May we get two reubens, a strawberry shake, and...?" She looked back at Jason.
He stepped up and shook his head.
"You have to drink something." She frowned.
"That'll be it," he said tightly, obviously not wanting to discuss it, and handed the kid a twenty dollar bill.
"No, I have an idea. Pick something," she smiled and linked her arm through his. He almost scowled. "A water and a cup and straw," she told the kid. Jason's jaw clenched, and he looked a bit angry. "Trust me," she whispered.
He released a heavy sigh and held out the bill to the boy again.
"Dude, you should seriously get your face fixed. I walked past your car when you were getting that plastic thing on. It was, like, gross," the kid said.
The air froze in her lungs in shock, and she stared.
"Take the lady's order," Jason replied, sounding so composed. But he set the money on the counter because his hand shook.
She looked up at him. Should she pretend it hadn't happened? Rip the kid a new one? Tell Jason to wait in the car while she waited for the order? His body trembled against her arm linked through his. Her heart dropped. Oh god, he wasn't angry; he trembled because he was terrified how far the kid would go humiliating him in front of her.
"Freak," the kid muttered under his breath and took the money.
Everything burned red, and she wanted to lunge across the counter at him. Taking a deep breath, she slowly blew it out.
"Are you okay, lady?"
She looked at him, a calmness sweeping over her. "Yeah. I just got out of anger management for beating up a punk kid. He was a lot bigger than you, though." The kid looked nervous. She let go of Jason's arm and leaned her hands on the counter. "It took my husband and two cops to pull me off. This kid was in the hospital for, like, two weeks. The judge wanted to lock me up in the nut house for the crazy people!" At the last two words, she suddenly leaned over the counter and raced out the words. The kid jumped ten feet, his eyes nearly popping out of my head, as he paled sheet white.
A choked snort erupted behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, Jason walked away a bit, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
Widening her eyes like a lunatic, she slowly shook her head at the kid. "I don't like when people say things about him."
"S, sorry." The cooks behind him looked a little scared too. Their order was ready in about ten seconds. The kid shoved the bag and drinks at her. "Here. On the house."
Unable to resist, she took the items and then pointed at her eyes and then at the kid. It never failed to terrify someone when her father did it. And it worked again. The kid looked ready to faint.
"Emma," Jason scolded under his breath, trying not to laugh, and pulled her outside.
When they got in the car with her in the driver's seat this time so Jason could eat, he burst out laughing. "I have to say that was very creative. Even I was a little scared of you. But you shouldn't do that because someone might call the cops on you."
She flashed him a smile. "I didn't do anything threatening."
"Except that eye trick," he chuckled. "You have that down as well as your father. I had a terrifying flashback for a moment."
With a laugh, she pulled out the drinks. He sobered at the flip of a switch and didn't say anything but looked like quite angry. "Don't be cranky with me. Your upper palette and tongue are fine, so you can do this." She poured the water bottle into the cup and stuck in a straw. Then she handed it to him. Putting a straw in her shake, she tried sipping. "Shoot. This is too thick yet. Can I have your water?" He handed it over, not looking excited. Taking the straw far in her mouth, she pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth to create a sealed suction and took a sip. At the same time, she kept her mouth open enough to stick the tip of her finger past her teeth. His missing lip wouldn't be an obstacle.
His eye lit up with wonder. "You're drinking?"
She frowned. "Yeah-" Except she forgot to swallow and water gushed down her chin and splattered her jeans. She grabbed her mouth, utterly mortified.
He burst out laughing and handed her a napkin from his wad so she could wipe her face. "I don't feel as mortified drinking in front of you now."
"Okay, okay, you have to swallow." She flushed. He leaned forward and kissed away a drop on her chin. "It really does work." She did it again successfully to prove it.
He studied her mouth intently. "How are you doing that?"
She smiled and handed him the cup. "Put in the straw toward the back of your tongue. Here, I have a lipstick mark on the straw. Put it in that far, maybe a tad farther because your mouth is bigger." He did, although he seemed a bit nervous he'd humiliate himself. "Now create a seal with your tongue."
He took a sip, ready with a wad of napkins. But he swallowed. His head jerked back from the cup like he couldn't comprehend it had worked. He tried it again.
At the same time it made her smile to see him gain some freedom, it broke her heart that something so basic as drinking had been denied to him. He set down the cup and bowed his head. He should have been smiling. "It's been almost four years since I've drank in front of anyone. Since I haven't had to stand over a sink," he said, his voice thick. "Thank you, Emma," he whispered.
She swallowed back the tears and took his hand. "I think these next two weeks we need to get creative and see what other things we can find solutions for." With a smile, she bent her head to catch his eye.
He looked at her in all seriousness. "Would kissing be more pleasant for you if my lip wasn't deformed? The dentist and a plastic surgeon think they can do it with five or six surgeries."
That tore her heart, twisting and pulling until it almost bled. She took his hand and leaned over the console to be closer. Stroking his cheek, she searched his eye. "I never want you to have something done because of me. If you feel it would greatly improve your quality of life, then that's why you should do it. I do not wish it."
He looked a bit surprised. "You don't find it a bit gross? You don't act like it bothers you, but it must."
"Nothing about you bothers me. You have been under anesthesia so many times, Jason. There are the risks each time and the cognitive effects years later that no one understands yet. I don't want that."
"But-"
She shook her head. "I cherish your kisses how they are now. You make yourself so vulnerable to me when we kiss without the mask. You've never let anyone else get that close to you. It's like kissing your soul and being as intimate as making love." Tears welled in her eyes. "Your kisses are so beautiful. When I ask you to kiss me without the mask, it's never out of curiosity. It's because I want that closeness with you. I feel desire when we kiss and want to make love with you. I don't see your scars, Jason." A tear ran down her cheek. With such tenderness, he brushed it away. "Trudy and Pete explained what happened that night. I see a man who bears the scars for at least half a dozen people and has become so beautiful for it. The grace and dignity and strength with which you carry yourself, and a heart far too big to fit in here, are what I see." She laid a hand over his chest. Gently shaking her head, she held his eye. "I'm blind to the scars." It hurt to see him so afraid he repulsed her. How could he think she saw him as anything but amazing? "A rose has no eyes, Jason." Trudy's words from weeks ago made so much sense now.
His eye flashed with the memory. "You heard her that night."
She nodded. "It's why you love them so much, isn't it? Roses don't have eyes and thrive under your touch. Do you not see how you've made me thrive too? I came to you so lost and terrified of the world. I've found my home, Jason." She swallowed down the lump in her throat and slid over the console to sit in his lap. Tears shimmered in his eye. They hadn't outright spoken of it, but he needed to know. She needed to unbottle the love that couldn't fit in her heart anymore. "I want to marry you," she whispered and stroked his cheek.
His lip trembled, and he pressed his lips together. Then his face crumpled and he bowed his head. She held him, with tears slipping down her own cheeks, as he held her tight. He sniffled and took a shakey breath after a moment. Then he looked at her, his eye glassy. "I've known I wanted to marry you since the first time we kissed." He cupped her cheeks in his gentle hands and brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "I can't ask you to bind yourself to this. I can't give you children and force them to endure a father whom they'd be ashamed to be with in public."
She shook her head. "They would love you and never be ashamed. They would learn your strength and kindness. Slurs against you would anger them as much as they do me."
He shook his head. "I cannot make my family endure that. You deserve a husband who can take you out for dinner and go to the children's baseball games."
"You would see me wed a man I don't love? Tolerate his beddings and only hold onto sanity because I'd pretend he was you?"
He shook his head, looking like his heart was tearing out. "It wouldn't be like that. You'll find a man you love who can give you everything I can't."
Her face crumpled. "So then why won't you leave me?" she whispered.
He swallowed hard, as if struggling to find his voice. "Because I'm still trying to find the strength to let you go," he breathed.
"You promised you wouldn't break my heart again," she sniffled and searched his eye. Not again. She couldn't go through that again.
"A time will come when you're ready to go, and it won't break your heart," he whispered as a tear ran down his cheek.
"No." She laid her head on his shoulder and held him tight. He wouldn't break her heart, and he'd never leave if he thought there was a chance of hurting her. She had time yet. She just had to make him believe she loved him enough to spend their lives together. The next two weeks were the perfect chance.
He took a shakey breath. "We should eat before the food gets cold, sweetheart."
She kissed his cheek and sat back to look at him. "Wait, we didn't finish. Do you want the surgeries?"
He shook his head. "It would improve eating, but I still couldn't take off the mask to eat with people anyways. I can't stand the thought of another hospital or more pain." He gave a self-conscious shrug. "I'm even nervous about getting the teeth implants. If you don't want the plastic surgery, I don't either."
"It's your decision, but I would miss these kisses so much." Her heart twisted. He didn't expect to be with her much longer, yet he was willing to undergo surgeries for her sake that he didn't want.
With a nod, he brushed a kiss over her lips. "I love you."
She smiled and brushed away the last of the tears in her eyes. "I love you too." Then she slid into the driver's seat and parked at the back of the lot so they could eat in private.
It hurt to see him have to cut up his sandwich into almost two-inch squares. Then he set his mask under his leg, seeming to want to keep it out of view. She turned on the radio and took her time eating her own food, sensing he tried to eat as fast as he could. It wasn't fast by any means, and the poor man continually wiped his mouth, using the bag as a trash can for the napkins.
Then he paused after swallowing the third piece. "I can't, Emma. I feel like a toddler."
She looked at his profile. He held a napkin to the side of his mouth and stared at the dashboard. "You aren't like a toddler, Jason. I wish for you to feel comfortable for us to eat together. Is there something I can do?"
"Sit inside," he replied dryly. "No, I wouldn't make you sit alone." He sighed and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "I don't know."
"Get in the backseat." She got out. Once they were situated in the back, she shed her parka and turned sideways on the seat to lean her back against his arm. "What about this so I can't see you eat?" She looked over her shoulder but still couldn't quite see him.
"Thank you, sweetheart." His voice sounded thick with emotion.
"We'll figure it out as we go, Jason. We can do this," she replied softly.
In broad daylight, they ate lunch together.