"I want to be a part of her life P."
"And how exactly are you going to do that Derek? Are you seriously going to have this conversation with your wife and tell her while you were together, you slept with me."
"I don't know P."
"Then I suggest you think about this long and hard Derek because once you open this can of worms, there's no turning back."
"She's mine P, and I want her to know who her father is, and that she is as important to me as her brother. I won't hide her P, I won't hide her like I'm ashamed of her, or what happened between us. I may have screwed up and it may not have been the right thing to do due to circumstances, but I do not regret that night. I don't regret making love to my best friend. I don't regret that out of our grief, we created something that was made from love, because whether you believe me or not Penelope, I love you, and that night wasn't about getting an itch scratched or being comforted, I wanted you and only you. Grant it, I behaved like a jack ass, and I will have to live with the consequences of that for the rest of my life, but my daughter will not suffer because I was an idiot. I am well aware of what the repercussions would be, but whether you know it or not, I've already lost the most important thing in my life." The sincerity of his voice broke a piece of the armour she hid behind
"I appreciate that you would do that for her. I have no doubt in my heart or mind that you love her Derek, I have never doubted that you would love your child or how great of a father you would be, and already are."
"But you doubt that I love you." He challenged,
"Derek, what I think doesn't matter. This is about you and Amie."
"But it does matter,"
"Derek…"
"P, please…" Penelope sighed and pushed herself off from where she was leaning to put some distance between them. Derek watched as she walked to the other side of the room.
"I don't doubt that you love me. Heck, I don't even have doubts that you have no regrets about what happened that night, but it doesn't matter what I know or how I feel. The bottom line is, you're married. You made your choice. You have a child as a result of your love for her too."
"I'm sorry P."
"Derek, you don't owe me any apologies. You never have to apologise for going after what you want."
"No, I'm apologising for not going after what I want."
"Derek…" she interrupted,
"No P, hear it! Hear what I was too stupid not to say all those months ago."
"What good will it do Derek?" Penelope asked defeatedly
"It won't change anything, it won't reverse what is now. It doesn't make this less awkward or less hurtful. So why Derek, why would we need to go down that road, when all it's going to do is make it hurt more than it already does, because I don't know about you Derek, but I don't think I could handle anymore." She confessed. Derek dropped his gaze to the floor, the last thing he wanted to do was inflict anymore pain than he already had, and at that point continuing the conversation he had started only released him, and tortured her.
"Okay P, subject dropped."
"Thank you."
Amelie began to stir in his arms. Derek looked down at his daughter as she opened her eyes meeting his tearful gaze.
"God, she's beautiful."
"She kinda does take your breath away doesn't she." Penelope replied with a smile standing to her feet.
"She's probably hungry. Would you like to feed her?"
"Can I?" he asked gratefully.
"Sure, let me grab her bottle from Hotch's office."
Penelope dropped a kiss on her daughter's forehead before heading to Hotch's office to grab the bottle she had expressed earlier leaving father and daughter to bond.